Derek paced back and forward in front of the room Meredith was recovering in.
Just then a nurse stepped out of the room and started toward Derek. "Dr Shepherd, I told you we will let you know when she wakes up. Go get some rest, you look terrible."
"Can I just see her."
"No doctor, I'm afraid that would be inappropriate. Don't you have a wife to go to?"
"Not anymore" muttered Derek as he walked away. He realized as he was staring over Meredith's body in the OR he had made a big mistake choosing Addison. He had done what he thought would be the noble thing to do, the easy thing to do, but in the end it was hardest thing he'd ever done in his life. And he was sorry that this is what it took to make him realize Meredith was the love of his life.
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Cristina, George and Izzie all sat next to Meredith's bed, watching her sleep, waiting for her to wake up.
"Do you think she'll pull through?" George asked no one in particular.
Christina whispered, "I've never felt so...so..."
"Devastated" Izzie offered.
"Lost" George added.
"Helpless." They all agreed in silence. "I've always had everything under control and know what to do next. But I don't anymore, I don't know what to do. I've never felt this way before." said Cristina.
"I never knew what would happen next when I was a kid. Life was so unpredictable moving from one trailer park to another, avoiding my father. But not being able to tell if Meredith will be alright, it's definitely one of the hardest things I've had to deal with, especially after operating on her. I know it's not true but I feel that if she doesn't make it, it will be all my fault." Izzie said bursting into tears.
George held her, his tear falling into her hair. "Don't say that Izzie, and she will make it, she's strong, she can do it." George comforted.
"What if she doesn't want to wake up? What if she thinks there's nothing worth waking up for." They all sat in silence dreading the words Cristina had said, thinking the same thing.
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I lay next to Derek's warm body as he slept. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have found someone who loved me as much as I loved him. Derek stirred next to me waking up. He turned and looked deeply into my eyes. "I love you." he whispered. I kissed him lightly on the lips in reply. "We should really get ready now." I nodded not wanting to move from his warm embrace, I could stay like this forever. He got out and walked to the other side of his trailer looking for his clothes. I watched him as he got dressed. He was gorgeous and he was mine. "Come on up you get or we'll have to go back to staying at your place." He grinned. He knew I got embarrassed when Izzie and George comment on how loud we are, but who can blame me? He was McDreamy. Then the unspeakable happened. Addison walked in and started kissing Derek and he was kissing her back! All of a sudden my chest felt tight and I couldn't breathe. The room started to go blurry as I thrashed around trying to breathe in. "Help!" I gasped, "Help me!" and then everything went black.
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