Between Him and Her
by Apple-chan

Summary: She could never be his. He couldn't protect her if he stayed. But...he wasn't going to let him leave. JeannexLysergxMarco.

Warnings: PG-13 for issues and slight shounen-ai.

Still dedicated to Yui-chan and Yomi.=)

Events take place around a month or so after "Departure."

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Part Two: Redemption


Marco looked up at the clear blue sky as he stood, waiting in front of a structure so foreign, yet at the same time--so familiar to him.

To most people, the enormous clock tower served as a landmark, a location point which told them where they are, and what time it is. For Marco, though, it served as a painful, poignant reminder of that certain someone he once knew...a young, feeble boy he had met, years ago. A boy, so full of innocence and naiveté. A boy who had seen far too much horror, and had experienced far too much sadness and pain even though he had only lived for a mere twelve years. Beyond everything, though, beyond all that he had encountered, all the pain he had gone through, and all the people he had loved and lost...still, the boy knew practically next to nothing about the world.

Apart from the similarities in life experiences and the orders that he had received from Iron Maiden Jeanne, there was a certain something in the young boy which, back then, had compelled Marco to get to know him, approach him, and teach him all he needed to know. Everything about the ways of the world, about justice, life, loyalty...and love.

But circumstances neither of them were able to predict happened. Not even their leader could do anything to stop it, and through it all, in the midst of all the trials, all the gains as well as the losses, and all the tears that were shed for the lives that were lost as the battle to uphold what's right and what's fair and just was fought...-this- man who had thought he could teach this little boy everything--he was the who had ended up being taught; and by no less than the same person whom he thought had so many things to learn--the little boy.

That man was still a man, because that man was Marco. And the boy...he was a man now, as well--Lyserg. Now, they were equal, not merely in stature or demeanor, but in the ways that really matter. Age was an irrelevant matter, not if one speaks of two people who have ventured into the same world and experienced most of the same things together--the essential things.

Him and Lyserg, they were two of a kind. They were equal--in the most ultimate sense of the word.

And that was why he was here. He needed to see Lyserg, and to know why he left, because up to now, despite all the explanations the heavens above had given him through the very lips of Iron Maiden Jeanne, and despite his firmness of heart and mind which commanded his whole being that he really didn't need an explanation, he just had to know. He needed-no, he wanted to understand. He wanted Lyserg to state the reasons, the circumstances--everything surrounding his abrupt departure from the convent he had grown up in, and the only family he had ever known ever since his parents were taken away from him. He wanted Lyserg to make him see what had really compelled him to leave. Granted, Marco knew...but he was also aware: Jeanne wasn't the only reason Lyserg left. He was.

And beyond all that...if there really was no more hope of ever seeing him come back to the place he had called home, at the very least, Marco wanted to be able to say a proper goodbye to him. Lyserg was his friend, and the other half of the only family he really had. And his departure from the convent was somehow incomplete where Marco was concerned, and he wanted to at least gain that completion by seeing him...if only for one final time.

And to do one other thing.

Iron Maiden Jeanne, beyond all her youth, beauty, and the naiveté that she exuded with her whole being--was still as firm as steel inside and out. She wasn't the former X-laws leader for nothing, and she wasn't the prophet of salvation for nothing. Although she didn't possess the empathic abilities of Asakura Hao, the wisdom and perception that she had as the lady of salvation were enough to sense the hurt, the longing and the yearning that Marco had been feeling deep within him because of the loss of the green-haired young Englishman.

It was for the best that Lyserg stay as far away as possible from the convent and from Jeanne, Marco knew that, and more importantly, Jeanne herself knew that. It was less painful that way for the both of them. Right after she had bid him goodbye, she and Lyserg had formed a pact, an unspoken understanding that for the sake of everything, and everyone--that they needed to stay as far away from each other as possible.

However, they had not taken into account how Marco would feel about it.

Over the years that had passed, as Lyserg grew up in their midst, Marco had been shunned into the back on his own accord. He had been reduced from being the second-in-command of the X-laws to a mere guardian of two youths, but it had been his own choice. When the final battle had been fought and won, and when everything had ended, he was contented to watch from afar as two children grew up in front of his very eyes. He had learned to love them both much to the point that he cared about no one and nothing--not even himself. It was them, and ONLY them.

The only difference? From the very beginning, he had revered Jeanne, put her in a pedestal and placed her high above him; whereas Lyserg...he had always been just there, right in front of him, never ascending, never descending. Just pure and perfectly straight. If there had been a road and Jeanne and Lyserg would pass through it, Jeanne would go up straight to the path of heaven, and Lyserg would go straight across the path...leading to him.

Perhaps it was his own fault that Lyserg had not thought of how he would feel with the departure...or perhaps the young man was only trying to eclipse him from further pain and suffering by leaving him just like that...or perhaps it was a little of both...

Or, perhaps...Lyserg wanted him to come.

Marco sighed. It would do him no good to assume such things. Lyserg's heart belonged fully and completely to Jeanne...he wasn't anywhere in the picture. He had been content to watch them from afar--to watch Lyserg from afar, and see him gaze worshipfully, fondly, and lovingly at the Maiden.

"...And if I remember correctly, you were doing the same thing. Watching him from afar. And loving him, even though there was always that thought in your mind that he would never reciprocate your feelings. But Marco, you and I both know...he is not like that. He does love you...perhaps not yet in the way that you wish he would, but it is a wonderful beginning nevertheless." Jeanne gave a faint, sad smile. "...And you know, and I know, and I know that he knows: if he could have chosen to love anyone right from the start, it should have been you, because with you, he would get the happiness that I will never be able to give him. The happiness that I can never give him."

He heaved a sigh as he remembered Jeanne's words to him, just before he left. More than anything, that was what made him gather up his resolve to see Lyserg. He wanted to know...he wanted to see if there was a flicker of a chance that what Jeanne had told him was right. He wanted to make sure that Lyserg wasn't foregoing the happiness that he could have just because of his fears.

"His love for me...it's different from what he feels for you, but they have their similarities." A soft sigh. "...He's refusing it, and you and I both know why. He doesn't want to hurt you. He cares so much. For me. For you. That's why he's pushing it away. That is why he is, in not so many words, pushing you away as well. He...doesn't think he deserves what you feel for him."

But he does, Marco thought to himself. He deserves everything, because I didn't choose for this to happen...it just did. And I can never undo what my heart feels.

"Everyone deserves equal happiness...you and him are no exception." This was Jeanne's final statement before she had retreated back to the Iron Maiden, just before he left.

Happiness, huh? Marco thought wryly, once again glancing up at the immense clock tower in front of him. The Big Ben. London.

Lyserg's hometown.

Clenching his hands at his sides, Marco took a deep breath and walked with newfound resolve, and strength.

...No matter what happens, I will find you, Lyserg. And I will take you home.

Everyone deserves happiness. Everyone.

Even us.


TSUZUKU.


Notes:

Ehm...ooc-ness with respect to Marco's character here is purely unintentional yet somehow unavoidable. And for that, I apologize.

As usual, comments/suggestions/criticisms/reactions/etc are always welcome.

UP NEXT: Part Three: Deliverance - Jeanne's thoughts and feelings...and the pain of someone who can never love, and can never be loved.