War with the Deranged Killer Mutant Monster Snow Goons
Disclaimer: I do not own Calvin and Hobbes and all characters associated with the comic. All rights are owned by Bill Waterson.
"Ryan and his companions are a big help" said Hobbes said with a smile as Calvin turned about and returned from his little talk with Ryan.
"Yeah, he's a big boost to our moral and work load" as he replied looking back as the group put on the finishing touches to their lunette and shoveled out the rest of the compound.
"Listen to you, acting the high colonel" smirked Hobbes as he stepped out into the open and took up two buckets of stone and moved them to the North-East corner of the house where the sixth and final catapult was waiting.
Calvin paused and just stared blankly at the walls. He was right "Good gravy" stunned, "Have I sounded like this long?" looking back at Hobbes. Coming up for an answer was easy for Hobbes, he noticed it just as they entered Susie's so called fort days prior, "Yes."
Thinking to himself, Calvin nodded knowingly then he glanced at his friend then back at the walls. "I just hope that this isn't a death trap" whispering.
Inside the house Susie was watching all this from a window overlooking the kitchen sink. Those walls were impressive to look at, and those "cannons" were intimidating, the unlocked strong arms were over six feet tall. Sigh. Clambering back down from her pedestal, she mossied over and took a calendar down from the wall near the refrigerator. Circled in red was Christmas, a good two weeks away, and marked with X were days of siege on her own house, now approaching it's fourth day. Her face was pale, not much sleep in those days, lots of work though but, she knew it was worth it because those creatures had been eradicated from her household, though at the loss of her parents. No way they were going to take this household, not again.
Since everything was going well in order, Calvin, along with his 1st Sergeant Hobbes sank away for another official meeting of G.R.O.S.S. "Tell me, lead scout, what provisions are in order in case an escape is necessary?" asked Calvin in a secluded area of the fort. Hobbes sat on the ice wall, his furry butt chilled but tolerated it's seat, his eyes looked about at all the fortifications, and his heart sank. "Supreme Dictator for life" he said, "There are no provisions for an evacuation of our fort."
How could that be? Then it was realized, all their work went to the weapons and walls, not towards a worst case scenario plan. "Good gravy. This must be fixed, immediately" Calvin barked.
"Yes, sir" jumping down. However, there was little Hobbes could do at this point. Night was falling, temperature as well. Most of all, resources were limited. "Everything is coming down to nail and board" said Hobbes as he went through the house for scrap wood. "We need sleds. Sleds to tow our wounded and supplies through the woods or anywhere else we need to go. We can't move by carrying all this on our backs."
All the spare wood had been chopped up and burned or was about to be. None of the sleds were to meet this fate, however to compensate for more weapons and straight saplings were to be sharpened to make spears. Some were fortunate to have metal bats but the wounded would be unable to protect themselves even with sticks. The power flickered back on and there was much rejoicing. Candance and Susie resorted providing two blow dryers to the wounded who saw this as a sick sense of humor as one was given the pink one. "What the heck are we suppose to do with these?"
"They are made of snow" Candance told him, "It will make them melt". It seemed rather foolish at the time, but it added a little measure of security for the defenseless.
Stakes were hammered into place around the fort, snow walls were reinforced, catapults moved into place and ranged. Ammunition by the pale full were unloaded at their side. For added effect, some were doused with water to give them a slippery, hard coating thought to be more deadly. Every one was busy as the afternoon wore on. Everyone had a task, no slacking off, except for that pitiful band in the north manned by Mortimer.
Susie and Candance were together inside the house. "My house could have sold for 450,000 thousand dollars, easily" the nerd told Candance as they watched her house being morphed into a porcupine. "But ever since that boy was born six years ago, not one house has been sold on this block."
"Oh, nonsense," Candance laughed. "It's not all that bad. He's doing quite a job in changing our fortunes."
"Yes, but you say this about a boy that once locked himself inside his own locker pretending to be a caped super hero. Stupid man or some sort."
By nightfall, work was still being continued. Slowly walking on top of the south brick wall Bryant could not tolerate this siege any further, "Come on and fight us you lousy..." followed by some colorful words. No one was there to listen at first, so he continued to his heart's content, bashing the goons intellect and the strength of their resolve. For several minutes he let out profanity on an elementary level then, when he had shouted himself hoarse, turned his gaze over an incomplete abatis near the South east wall, the same could be said for the North west section that were being worked on. "We'll fix them" muttering to himself as he dismounted his wall and hustled inside from the cold. The dinner bell was chimed and he and everyone else went inside and Billy rotated out for his sentry duty. Though, tired, groggy, and longing for home, their will to survive was still strong. Strong enough for someone to come along, and they did.
Darkness was falling fast. Up, alone at his perch, Billy continued to survey the glowing land around him. He did not mind sentry duty, it beat working all day. Everything was quiet. Everyone was inside, trying to catch a few hours of fitful sleep, munching on some food. Television was conked out, so there was not much in the way of entertainment. Folding his arms around his chest, he sat rocking slightly back and forth on his perch, eyes surveying the darkness around him. His eyes caught some movement to the South, across the road. Taking a fix to it, his blood pumped, he shouted down to those below, "Here they come!"
Those that heard him, relayed it to those inside and there began a massive spill as children rushed downstairs and out the door to their posts, whilst trying to put on their coats and boots. Outside the walls, the defenders saw goons, hundreds of them, charging in long lines two to three ranks deep from the South and West. There was no announcement, no trumpets signaling the charge, no prior warning, just a surprise charge. Upon seeing this for himself, Mortimer began to feel shaken, seeing the hundreds of snowmen coming right for him, "We can't win this" he said to himself, then promptly abandoned the wall, even before the battle got fully underway. Calvin's people did not break so easily. Yes, they saw the goons, their impressive numbers, but they were confident that their fortifications could hold them, even though they were not complete. After seeing to it that everyone was displaced to their posts, Calvin and Hobbes turned to their mobile catapult near the front door of the house.
"Well, 'ol buddy, guess this is it" Calvin said as he threw his scarf around his neck.
"Yep, I reckon it is" replied Hobbes as he readied his weapon, but he stopped and looked at his friend, "I'll see you when this is all over." They shook hands, just then, Ryan came up, "Well, I didn't really know you that well, but at least we won't die alone," the red haired smirked. Calvin remained cold face, patted the boy's shoulder, and both went their separate ways.
With his catapult loaded and waiting, Hobbes took it upon himself to add a little spice. Pulling out a plastic container of gasoline, he proceeded to douse the stones in this hydrocarbon. Striking a match, he grinned, "This should be fun." Just dangling the flame above the soup he dropped it where the gas instantly ignited. Immediately giving the command to fire the lanyard was pulled, the lock released, the arm snapped forward and the rocks went skyward, scattered widely as confetti and began to rain fiery death onto those great many lumbering beasts, casting an eerie, faint glow on the horizon. The battle was on.