It was moments like these where if he already wasn't in so much pain and had to struggle everyday to just keep his body intact, he would hit himself for being such a moron.
It amazed him how elegant she could look in just about anything. But this dress, this silky red dress, that hugged all her right curves, was on a whole other level.
This must be what insanity feels like.
He could have easily made up an excuse to stay home, "a complete lack of energy." But these people were his friends, his family and supported him everyday. Every single day to no avail, which was greatly appreciated. But each day, he couldn't stop himself from stealing quick glances around his hospital room, as his loyal friends would pile in. He couldn't stop himself from glancing around whenever he left his room, hoping to catch sight of her beautiful, wavy curls wandering down the halls. Though she was never there, and as much as it pained him to admit it, even if her declaration of love for him was under false pretenses, he still missed her and still hoped she would come back to him.
He violently shook his head clear of these thoughts and tried to focus his gaze back to the party.
He let out a strained sigh. The party. Which brings me to why I'm even here. Lily alone had done so much for me in these last few weeks of recovery. It was only right for me to come. I could tell she was beyond nervous when she broached the subject.
A Few Weeks Earlier
"Hey there."
"Hey yourself."
"How're you feeling?" Lily asked, genuinely concerned as she seated herself across from him.
"I think the hole in my stomach shrunk a few sizes." he replied, awkwardly adjusting himself on his bed.
"Oh. Good." she paused, "That's good, right?" with a worried look.
"It's good, Lily."
"So, I can't stay very long."
"That's okay, I'm exhausted enough to sleep through this whole week." They shared sad smile.
"I wanted to talk to you about something though." She said feeling her uneasiness grow.
His gaze quickly met hers and alarm bells automatically went off in his head. He had successfully avoided the Jordan topic so far. He couldn't deal with anybody pressuring him about it, or blaming him for her state of distress.
"I don't want you to feel like you have to come. You have no obligation, or anything. I'd totally understand if you weren't feeling up to it." Her eyes fell quickly to the floor.
"What is it, Lily?" he asked, the suspicion in his voice was obvious.
"I'm just trying to get everyone together again, just for a night. Celebrate another year of Lily?" she looked hopefully into his eyes as he doesn't respond, "But really, you don't have to come." She finished, shaking her head.
"Do you want me to be there?"
"Of course…" the shock in her voice was apparent.
"Then let's celebrate another year of Lily." He smiled
"Woody..." She said slowly.
"Lily, I'll be there."
"Thanks, this means so much to me." She smiled one last time and silently left his room.
He smiled back, but it slowly faded from his lips as he felt his heart sink even further down his chest. Everybody was always too afraid to mention Jordan and for good reason it. They knew it would upset him.
But sometimes it just feels like she doesn't even exist anymore. Maybe if someone could just say her name… So I know she's out there, living… and breathing…
Woody slowly leaned back against his bed, "Jordan…"