Chapter 1: The Notion of Darkness

Dark Shinji walked the expanse that divided his reality from other realities. The powers he possessed over death guided him. His desires drove him onward to find her. But in each universe he searched, she had already evolved; thanks to an impact, whether it was the first or the millionth. He needed her to survive… he was much like Gendo in that sense: transfixed on the only woman that could love him simply because he was himself.

His necromantic powers kept him going and sustained him for awhile before causing him to fall in some random reality, and once more she was dead. Everyone was dead… Only he and that universe's Shinji existed; a punishment for challenging the gods. Which, on so many levels, amazed him; how can a god be punished by another god? It wasn't his concern however; if Rei had evolved pass the need of physical flesh he didn't want to be there.

'A million different realities; a million different Lilliths. 1470 down; countless more to go,' he thought to himself, waiting once again for death to fall upon this Shinji as he had with countless others.

"What will do you find her?" the Shinji before him asked, taking his last few breaths.

"I will tell her how I feel. I will do my best to keep her safe. I will destroy them all," Dark Shinji stated, watching the self-crucified angels float around him.

"If you find Misato… tell her I love her," Shinji whispered as he freed himself from his physical cage. He wanted to stay with this one a little longer… He was one of the luckier ones… His death had been quick…He hadn't lingered in this world alone for years. His hands were already dirty with the blood of the mad ones he had released from their cages. He took one last look at the corpse of his alternate self and at the eye of giant god's head that mimicked his only love. With that he dived deep into the sea of LCL and swam deep into the Well of Life, activating his S2 organ.

Achieving temporal vibrations, he shattered the wall of the chamber of Gauf as he shifted into the Well of Existence, his black wings in full spread as he swam through the Waters of Temporal Variance. He focused his mind on the sound that was coming from the waters. It was soothing and lulling, yet brimming with violence and full of hatred. He didn't want to swam into these waters… but Lillith was alive somewhere and that somewhere was where they could be together.

Shinji took a break one day while swimming the waters as he held his fetish to his face. Somewhere along the line he had become a releaser of the dammed, healing the hearts of his temporal brethren and sending them on their merry way to be with their lovers… Rei, Ritsuko, Asuka, Misato, Hikari, or Maya. Sometimes it was Touji or Kensuke. He had even come across a few Kaworu cases. Suddenly Shinji heard the voice of one of his dying selves. This Shinji's cries weren't like the others he had heard before. Those had cried for death, but this one's cries were begging for someone to rescue him, and he sounded like he was on his last leg.

'The least I can do for him is to get him before Impact claims him.' He dived into the waters one last time, cutting deep into the orange liquid and swimming for what seemed like an eternity. A blinding light poured forth, causing him to close his eyes as he pierced the protective divine barrier surrounding the chamber of Gauf.

He surfaced to clear blue skies and crystal blue waters. No sign of Impacts, no crucified angels and no ominous god-head with a piercing stare greeted him; just the endless wailing of sirens. He got out of the water in a flash, following his fetish to the source: the tortured cries of a Shinji. Black wings spread at full, he sped through the sky. As he neared the dying screams, he saw them.

'The Eva Guards?' he thought, staring at the behemoths before him. Even as he watched, Unit-00 stalked an orange floating orb… He turned, instantly recognizing it. 'Leliel, is that you? Have I made it before Impact has been achieved?'

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Misato screamed her orders for the retreat of the remaining Eva Units. Meanwhile, Ritsuko and Maya frantically examined the computer terminals before them for Shinji's life signs. From the information they had gathered, however, things didn't look good.

"Shinji, please come back to us," Misato prayed quietly watching the screen. Even as the words left her lips, the alert went off again.

"Ritsuko, what is it this time?" she yelled. As Ritsuko examined the screen, her eyes widened and she let out a gasp.

"Another Angel?" she whispered, confusion clouding her face. Shigeru focused a camera on it and brought the image up on a spare screen. A few seconds passed as the machine processed the information before a nondescript black blip appeared on the screen.

"What the hell is that thing?" Misato swore out loud. No one had a valid answer. What happened next further complicated matters. They all watched in horror as it dived suddenly head first into the shadow.

"Asuka, Rei, what the hell was that thing!" she practically screamed into the comm. link.

"What are you talking about, Misato?" Asuka asked incredulously.

"You two didn't see something dive into the shadow?"

"No ma'am," Rei answered. She wasn't exactly telling the whole truth though… She really hadn't seen it, but she had sensed it.

"Orders?"

"Major Katsuragi?"

"Misato?"

"Retreat, you two." the purple haired Operations Director said after carefully thinking it over.

"What?"

"Asuka, that's an order."

"Oh, whatever."

"Yes, Major."

The two Evas turned around and slowly began to make their way back. But before she did so, Rei looked at the shadow one more time. Inside it she felt two presences; one fading fast and another so familiar yet so distant. As she sat in the Eva cages thinking it over, she experienced a surge of unexplainable emotions. Several of them made her want to cry, and others made her want to scream.

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Dark Shinji swam through the sea of LCL. He never been inside Leliel's body before, but it felt warm. The smell of blood reminded him of the other universes and their impacts. He swam faster until he found what he had been looking for. There it was: an Eva Guard Machine. It was his son, Azrael, or at least his body underneath ten tons of reinforced armor. Staring into its eyes, he was surprised that he could sense no life within the husk before him.

The screaming, he now realized, had come from the inside. Curious, he entered the cockpit… and found himself staring into a hysterical mirror version of himself. This Shinji looked like all the other Shinjis he had come across: they all had mirrored him physically, but never emotionally. This particular one was detached emotionally and yet connected at the same time; absorbed but freely flowing. The Shinji of this universe stared into the eyes of his darker counterpart, who was eerily enough holding a skull.

"Are you Death?" he asked weakly.

"In some aspects I could be called Death," Dark Shinji replied.

"I'm not going to make it, am I?"

"No. I am sorry."

"Don't be. Your presence is comforting. It feels as if I've known you all my life… yet I am sure this is the first time I have ever met you," he whispered, giving his other self a quiet smile.

"All of are connected in some way… I'm sorry I can't release you from this prison."

"It isn't so bad… to find divine truth inside the Agent of God." Dark Shinji was taken back slightly. He knew the teachings of Necromancy; the first common knowledge was that there were no secrets in death. But this Shinji was still clearly alive. He was clearly dying, but he wasn't dead yet. Why were divine truths already being revealed to him?

"You're looking for Rei, right?" he coughed up.

"Yes, if that is what you call Lillith," was the answer.

"I wanted to be one with her… But I think you deserve her more. You deserve some happiness. Please… take my place in this world."

"…I don't know. I'm not sure if that is wise."

"If you emerge from the belly of the beast, they will not question whether you are the real Shinji or not, even if your appearance says otherwise."

"I am the real Shinji! Just as you are the real Shinji; just as all the Shinjis across all the realities were the real Shinjis!" Dark Shinji cried, nearly screaming at him.

"I'm sorry… I meant no offense…"

"…No, I'm sorry… I shouldn't have yelled at you. I will take you up on that offer. For that, I truly thank you."

"Don't… I feel that it's the will of God. Please, take good care of him, Mother. He is your son too… and you her; she is your mother."

With a nod, Dark Shinji accepted the charge. He stayed with him for an hour, keeping him company and watching over him as the last of his mirror's life slipped away. Though his energies had merged with the Eva, Dark Shinji felt he was gone. He mourned this one like he had mourned for all the others. Shinji had returned to the primordial soup, leaving behind his neutral inhibitors and his plug suit. Dark Shinji fingered the items thoughtfully. If he was going to pass as Shinji, he was going to need to be dressed as Shinji. There was some mental debate, especially between him, the fetish inhabited by his first oracle and the soul of Yui inside the Eva, over his hair color and its length but he could do little about it, his having long remained inside Leliel. With that over and his victory over the two voices in his head, the next step was to get out of Leliel. Diplomacy would be the first preferable choice, he surmised.

Shinji activated his personal A.T. Field and reached outwards with it. Leliel's consciousness reached his, but instead of hearing the sweet voice of Leliel he had come to expect since his birth, he heard the primal roar of an angry beast. He clutched his head tightly, trying to force the growling from his mind. Leliel materialized before him, his angelic form appearing in front of the Eva. Shinji labored himself to speak in the angel language as he strenuously gathered his thoughts.

Leliel.

Anael? the Angel questioned, looking into the Eva. But how is that possible? I watched you die.

More or less. I order you to free me from this hell.

No! This monstrosity must be sent to hell where it rightfully belongs!

Don't piss me off. Listen to me; I can wipe out your pitiful existence with a mere word.

You will die along with this monstrosity!

Whether it was the smell of blood, or the fact that some pissant of an Angel thought he could challenge him, Shinji was heated. His anger boiled the LCL considerably to the point where it could evaporate. The Eva began to heat up as well, as if mimicking his anger in every way possible. Leliel looked around, startled, as he felt his body warm up.

What are you doing to my body? Leliel asked, panicking, as its avatar's body began to warp. Shinji's blue eyes glowed green, as black wings erupted from his back and his black hair turned white. An indescribable blackness began being emitted by the Eva. Suddenly everything went dark.

I am going to enjoy kill you.

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Rei and Asuka looked over at their target as it made its way toward them. Asuka's finger stroked the trigger of her rifle. Rei herself stared at the approaching enemy uneasily, waiting for the operation to begin. Suddenly the orb stopped and its main body started to quiver violently and without mercy. Everyone present witnessed the unfolding spectacle silently, unable to make a single sound. The black and white lines around it had disappeared, leaving a pulsing glob of red. Nothing passed through it; not light, not sound. Nothing. Two glowing eyes could be seen as a black mist re-encased it.

Like a darker twisted version of an ascension scene, the feet of Unit-01 appeared from the bottom of the orb, slowly lowering itself to the ground. When its feet were firmly planted on the floor, the mist disappeared and the red liquid washed over it, bathing it scarlet. Shinji from the inside was completely exhausted. The fusion of his two selves seemed to have its benefits as well as it drawbacks. That stunt had exhausted him considerably. He walked towards Unit-00, his steps unstable. Rei simply stared back at the Eva, finding herself unable to make contact with its pilot. She took two steps forward and miraculously managed to catch him in her arms as he fell. The audio switched on and a broken language she seemed to only vaguely understand flooded through as unfamiliar feelings formed the word… Lillith .

To Be Continued….

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A/N: If you've read Age of Shinji, this is the Shinji that dwells in Gendo's mind. At the end, before Impact, the story Kaji tells him about being from a different dimension makes him resolve to go out and find another universe where Lillith is still alive and has yet to evolve. Currently I'm looking for people to write omakes for my next two chapters because they are kind of funny.