A/N: Yeah, I know I said I wasn't going to update until NaNoWriMo was over,
but then I realized that working on this story was quite good practice for
getting the feel of the word count and stuff. After all, as C.L. Rhodes
pointed out, this story has been almost a year in the making. So here's
another chapter, enjoy, read, review, you know the drill. Many thanks, and
Cheetos to whoever gives a constructive review, whether positive or
otherwise.
And many, many thank yous to everyone who reviewed the last chapter/s.
(Last I checked, I had 93, which is so amazing to me...) You are all simply
WONDERFUL!!!
**********
The night air was crisp and cool. That was a very good thing, as it helped to calm my giddiness. And I was certainly giddy.
I had done it. This thing was in the bag! I had aced this first test, I would get a job with a GREAT agency, and last but not least, win those 50 Nectars in the betting jar! What a wonderful situation.
The lawn was still mostly full of carriages, and there were people milling around many of them. I would have to get invisible before I took off, then. All I wanted at the moment was to go home, get some sleep, and report to Mrs. Pearl first thing in the morning.
I made my way over to the carriage I had transformed. It was by far the grandest coach there, the gold glinting in the light from the many torches placed around the makeshift parking lot and the light from the castle windows. I slipped in between it and the neighboring one, a gaudy pink affair, trimmed with ribbons and lace in the most atrocious manner. I ducked down, made sure I wasn't visible, and pulled my wand out.
"Psst!"
I started, and looked around. There was no one there. I turned my attention back to the wand.
"Psst!" it came again. "Hey, you!"
"Who is it?" I asked, glancing around again. "You talking to me?" I stood up.
"YES, I'm talking to you," a voice said directly into my right ear. I spun around. A face was looking out at me from glass-less carriage window. It was the toad-driver.
"What?"
"Firstly, I hope you're planning on changing me and Jimmy here back," he said, "and secondly, I hope you're going to do it soon, 'cause you're in trouble and I don't want to come into it with you."
"What? Why?" I asked. What was he thinking? Of course I wasn't in trouble. I was a godmother extraordinaire!
"I dunno, but from what I got you're off to jail, and before you go I'd like very much to be in my proper shape and back home. I have a family to support!"
"Ha, ha, very funny."
"I'm serious," he said. He looked it.
"Why?" I asked, feeling my euphoric cloud slowly evaporating and leaving me with a whole lot of trouble and a toad that wouldn't tell me what was going on. "Who are you talking about?"
"I don't know who they are," he said, "they sure ain't the Arpathian police force. They're little and wearing sparkles and all that rubbish."
"They're little and sparkly," I said. "That doesn't tell me much." He shrugged.
"I'VE never seen them before. But I'm no fairy, maybe you'll recognize them."
"I'm not a fairy," I corrected. "I'm a fairy godmother. They're two entirely diff---"
"Okay," he said cutting me off. "Fairy godmother. And trust me, fairy godmother, you're in trouble."
"Why?"
"Don't ask me. I'd just appreciate it if you'd---"
He stopped suddenly. I glanced down to where he was suddenly looking, and I knew at once what he'd meant when he said "little and wearing sparkles."
A little elf was standing behind my skirt, hands behind his back, tottering on the balls of his feet. He came about up to my knee, but was more noticeable than any human being I had ever seen, due to the... well, I wasn't sure if it counted as am outfit or not.
Glitter. Sparkles. Lace. Ribbons. Gold. Silver. Every other kind of Traditionally Appropriate Glinting Metal as specified in the 'Arpathian Customs in Dress' handbook, a necessary reading assignment in every school across the country. Bows. Frills. Everything in a different clashing color. And it was all stuck higgledy-piggeldy onto two feet of shapeless jumpsuit. A golden badge, enormous but hardly noticeable for the froof-a-noof surrounding it, adorned his chest, reading 'Police Backup'.
"You are Miss Celeste Shimmerstar?" he said in a nasally and clipped voice.
"Yes."
"Address me as 'sir'," he said, looking disgusted.
"Yes, SIR. That's me."
"You are under arrest," he said shortly. "Follow me."
He turned to go. I shot an incredulous look at both the toad-driver and the back of the elf's head. I was supposed to take THAT uniform seriously. Right...
"HOLD it," I said. He stopped as though he had run into a wall, set his shoulders, and spun around to face me, a look of grim determination on his oddly mischievous looking face.
"What." He looked highly irritated.
"Might I ask why I'm being arrested?" I asked cordially. "I mean, it's not a situation I make a habit of getting into, I don't really know the procedure."
"Blatant disregard for Arpathian Magical Society, Subsection 12: Godmothering LAWS." He shot a death glare. It almost looked like he meant it, but with the lace sticking up from his collar like a ruff I couldn't quite tell.
"What laws?" I asked. "I made a special effort NOT to break any."
"The Official Arpathian Law Book, Section 243, Arpathian Godmother's Auxiliary, law 23, stating that at any given time the Arpathian Godmother's Council retains the right to make and enforce certain laws, on the condition that the Arpathian Godmothering population has at least 72 hours advance notice, said notice being given by the posting of the law upon all public bulletin boards and the like, and-slash-or being broadcast on a daily basis on the Godmother run and-slash-or owned television and radio stations. The law you broke was the most recently approved temporary law, stating that no fairy godperson may use Lovemagic at His Royal Highness Prince Charming of Arpathia's royal ball, on this day. No fairy godperson may use others to direct Lovemagic at anyone at this ball. You have done one of these."
"How do you know?" I asked indignantly. I hadn't used magic, so why on earth was this bizarre little messenger from Sparkleland here scowling and reciting laws for me?
"Effective love-inducing magic was detected on these premises at 10:52 p.m. Standard Arpathian Time. The means are unknown, but the source was traced directly to you, and the prince and a Miss Cinderella Fleur were involved. May we go, now?"
"No. I didn't use ANY love-inducing magic. I was GOING to, but then I heard it was outlawed and hold on a second RATS!"
He looked scornful.
"You did use Lovemagic then?"
"I... I... well, I don't know. I did but it was okay, I thought, because Venus gave it to me,"
"Excuse me?" he asked flatly in that nasal tone. "Who gave you what?"
"Venus gave me Cupid's Bow," I explained. The elf's face remained disgusted and condescending above the glitter.
"Venus?"
"Yes, Venus." His expression didn't change. "You know, VENUS. APHRODITE. THE ANCIENT ROMAN GODDESS OF LOVE."
"I'm sure. Save it for the press."
"You... no, no, look, I've got it here, I'll show you!" I reached into my sash where I had stuffed the bow as soon as I had finished with it. It wasn't there. "Drat. What time is it?"
"It is 12:43 a.m."
"Rats, rats, RATS!" I exclaimed, feeling a strong desire to tear out my hair in annoyance at this fellow. "It's gone, she said Cupid would come and collect it at midnight!"
"I see."
"I'm telling you the truth!" I exclaimed. "Look, just ask her! Of course, I haven't the faintest notion of how to DO that... yes I do, give me a sec."
"One minute." He glanced down at a heavily jeweled pocket watch. "Starting...now."
I hesitated a second. This little guy was nuts. But oh, well, I'd just have to ignore him.
"Venus," I said loudly and clearly. Nothing happened. "Venus!" I repeated. "Venus, I need your help here, please." The night air remained still and quiet.
"Thirty seconds," the elf intoned.
"Venus, I would really appreciate it if you'd beam down right about now," I said to the sky. Nothing. The stars twinkled down at me, completely oblivious to the fact that I was about to be carted off to fairy prison by a two-foot tall grump.
"Ten seconds."
"VENUS. HELP. ME. PLEASE."
Nothing.
"Five seconds."
I gave it one last try. "VENUS!"
A old lady passing by gave me an odd look, but there was no glow, no pop, no shower of glitter, and certainly no Venus.
"Time's up," said the elf in a smug tone. "Follow me, please."
"Hang on."
He sighed loudly. "I will not 'hang on', as you put it. I will leave, now, and you will come with me."
"Of course. The only problem being that I could squash you with the heel of my boot," I said sarcastically. Bad move.
"I wouldn't suggest you try," he said coolly, and snapped his fingers. Some invisible presence scooped me up and dumped me into what felt like and invisible armchair, floating three feet off the ground. The elf turned smartly around, and marched forward. My seat followed him, floating up and over any carriages we encountered. No one seemed to notice us. I tried to climb off, and found I couldn't move. I tried to fly off to no avail, and when I attempted to use my wand, it let out a puff of foul-smelling green smoke and gave high-pitched shriek.
I slumped down. This was jolly.
A distant shout carried over to where I was floating along over a hot pink carriage.
"You didn't change us back! My wife's going to..." then it faded out.
* * * * *
I sat in my cell, gazing glumly at the gold-painted bars. The cell I was in was rather nice... what you'd expect for a fairy. Or more accurately, fairy godmother --- the actual fairies were on another floor entirely. There was a fluffy pink rug on the floor, a pink and gold cot with a pink silk comforter, and a delicate, spindly golden chair. But it was still a prison cell, and I would still much rather be at home, instead of sitting here and cursing Venus and Cupid and Cinderella and my rotten, rotten luck.
I wanted my wand back. They had taken it away "for inspection." More likely so I wouldn't escape, as there was no reason why I should be here, there was no reason why I shouldn't be let out, how was I supposed to know that magical help from the authentic Venus wasn't allowed! Honestly!
But for the moment, I was stuck, I was bored, I was irritated, and I had no coping food on hand. Lovely, simply LOVELY.
"You have a vi-sitor!" sang out a cheerful voice. I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at its source as she came into view. She was a short, fat little woman, in a lavender dress and frilly apron with a lace-edged nametag reading "Millie Boot," her hair was pulled up in a tight bun, and she was always wearing an enormous, eternally cheerful smile that was very irritating given my circumstances.
"You've got a visitor!" she repeated happily. "Aren't you lucky? My children LOVE it when we get visitors! There are SO many of them, you know, so all their friends are coming over all the time, of course. I think they just like our house, it's rather unique, you know?" she said, bustling around outside the cell. I had already heard about her house --- an enormous shoe --- which housed so many children she "just didn't know what to do with them all, bless them!" I had also heard about her husband, her pet goat, her neighbors up to three houses down on one side and five on the other, her mother-in-law, her famous pumpkin pie recipe, and her vegetable garden.
"Now, let's see... where's the paper... yes, here it is! You can have visitors at this hour, I thought you could! It's quite early in the morning, you know, I think it's five o' clock. Or maybe it's six. Who knows. Anyway, you DO have a visitor, and I think she may be here to get you out. What did you get arrested for, anyway? I heard it had something to do with the ball. Malcolm didn't say much, he's not really the talkative type, as you've probably noticed. Kind of grumpy, to tell you the truth. I've never seen him smile. Anyway, I think I may have just possibly run off the subject, and I think that your guest wants to see you. So." And she was out of the room, taking the papers with her.
A moment later, she came bustling back in, Mrs. Pearl right behind her. She looked rather serene and unworried.
"Here you are, Amelia Pearl, says she knows you, and I'm guessing she probably does since she's visiting you!" Mrs. Boot laughed loudly, and Mrs. Pearl smiled good-naturedly.
"Well! I'll be off then, call me if you need me, I'll just be outside, there's another godmother I need to attend to, got caught going to Jajabon to give some princess a bunch of stories she wasn't supposed to have, Shaharazad, I think her name was. I'll be needing to give her some paperwork to sign and all that, promises she won't meddle in stuff like that anymore, you know how it is. Really, you'd think the princess could just go to the library or something..." and she walked off still talking. Mrs. Pearl waited until she was out the door before conjuring a fluffy purple pouf and settling herself down comfortably on it, outside the golden bars.
"Well," she said, almost cheerfully.
"Hi," I said glumly, trying to force down a sense of guilt that had just risen in my stomach. Mrs. Pearl was probably going to get some bad mark on her job or something because of me.
"You look grumpy," she observed, poking around in her purple handbag. She pulled out some brightly wrapped chocolates. "Here," she said, offering me one. "This should cheer you up a bit, they're quite good. Imported from the north, they make really excellent candy up there."
I took it, unwrapped it, and popped it in my mouth. She was right, it did cheer you up.
"There," she said, smiling. "That's better, isn't it? Of course it is. So, what seems to be the problem?" "I'm assuming that you're talking about what's the problem aside from the fact that I'm in jail?"
"Mmm-hmm. All I could get from that elf and Mrs. Boot is that you used Lovemagic at the ball."
"Yes."
"What kind? I mean, what did you do?"
"The prince and Cinderella were getting along great but I wanted to speed things up and make it a little more concrete and I accidentally called Venus, you know, the Goddess of Love, down and she gave me Cupid's Bow and I used it and it worked only I got in trouble with the law apparently even though I didn't know it would count if Venus was on your side," I said in one breath.
"Venus?" There was an odd expression on Mrs. Pearl's face.
"YES, Venus. I know you don't believe me but ---" Mrs. Pearl held up a hand to stop me.
"No, no, no, of course I believe you, she does that every now and then. I TOLD her to stop helping the new recruits, but of course she doesn't listen. She's a GODDESS, she doesn't have to obey mere mortals!" she said sarcastically, looking rather miffed. "I'm going to have a word with Zeus about her, he really needs to keep his clan under control, she can't just come billowing down here whenever someone accidentally calls her!"
"You know Zeus?" I asked, rather amazed.
"Of course I know Zeus. I knew him at school. Of course he was MUCH older than I was, but the nondenominational academy I went to after getting my degree at the academy to become a godmother accepted people of all ages. We were both in Introduction to Wizardry, I believe it was. I haven't seen him in AGES. Well, anyway, we will need to go speak with him and Venus. This is her fault ---"
"But I used the Bow," I protested.
"No it's not, you didn't know any better. SHE does, however, and I'm going to make sure she doesn't do that again. You're the fourth... no, fifth, one to be sent to prison over her 'helping' in the past seven years, I think that's quite enough. Well, anyway, we'll deal with that later. First, tell me exactly how you called her down."
"I just said 'Venus, help me out here,' but I didn't really MEAN it!"
"No, I know you didn't. So does she, that's what's bothering me. We'll have to both go up and talk to her. Goodness, she can be so vexing at times!"
"You mean you're actually going up to Mount Olympus?" I asked, impressed.
"No," she said. "WE are."
"You're taking me with you?" This was very cool.
"Of course I'm taking you with me," she said impatiently. "You're the one who's in jail over it, aren't you?"
"Well... yes, obviously, but ---"
"Then it's settled. We'll leave... well, probably tomorrow evening, I think it will take about half a day to get you out of here, they've got all this paperwork and I'll have to convince them that you should get let off without bail and without a trial. Definitely not a trial, they take MONTHS. You would think with all the magic we've got, it wouldn't take us so dad- blamed long. But, well... I'm not in charge of all that --- thank goodness --- so I shouldn't criticize too loudly. And I think you also need some sleep, you look positively lethargic."
"Yeah," I said ruefully. "Staying up until midnight under extreme stress and being thrown in jail by an elf in the weirdest uniform in the history of man- and elf- kind can do that to you.
Mrs. Pearl laughed. "I'll have to agree with you on that score. Well, not about the uniform, I've seen weirder."
I gave her a skeptical look.
"Think cherry pie-lace-flowers-bells-Velcro-caterpillar-neon-orange- blacklight and you'll get the general idea," she said, heaving herself out of the fluffiness of the pouf. She flicked her wand at it and it disappeared in a puff of purple smoke. "Get some sleep, I'll see you either later today or tomorrow."
"Thanks."
"No problem," she said. "It will all be more than worth it once we get Venus under control. Goodness, she's difficult! Not her fault, probably... being the most beautiful creature in the world can do that to you. But anyway, that's neither here nor there, you just sleep and we'll be off hopefully tomorrow evening."
"All right," I said, smiling and feeling suddenly exhausted. "Bye."
"Good bye!" she said, adding in an undertone, "try to fall asleep or at least pretend you're asleep before Mrs. Boot comes back, I have a feeling you'll be interrogated rather thoroughly if you don't," and left the room, shutting the door behind her. I could hear Mrs. Boot starting to talk out in the hall, and immediately lay down on the cot, quickly falling into a dreamless sleep.
**********
The night air was crisp and cool. That was a very good thing, as it helped to calm my giddiness. And I was certainly giddy.
I had done it. This thing was in the bag! I had aced this first test, I would get a job with a GREAT agency, and last but not least, win those 50 Nectars in the betting jar! What a wonderful situation.
The lawn was still mostly full of carriages, and there were people milling around many of them. I would have to get invisible before I took off, then. All I wanted at the moment was to go home, get some sleep, and report to Mrs. Pearl first thing in the morning.
I made my way over to the carriage I had transformed. It was by far the grandest coach there, the gold glinting in the light from the many torches placed around the makeshift parking lot and the light from the castle windows. I slipped in between it and the neighboring one, a gaudy pink affair, trimmed with ribbons and lace in the most atrocious manner. I ducked down, made sure I wasn't visible, and pulled my wand out.
"Psst!"
I started, and looked around. There was no one there. I turned my attention back to the wand.
"Psst!" it came again. "Hey, you!"
"Who is it?" I asked, glancing around again. "You talking to me?" I stood up.
"YES, I'm talking to you," a voice said directly into my right ear. I spun around. A face was looking out at me from glass-less carriage window. It was the toad-driver.
"What?"
"Firstly, I hope you're planning on changing me and Jimmy here back," he said, "and secondly, I hope you're going to do it soon, 'cause you're in trouble and I don't want to come into it with you."
"What? Why?" I asked. What was he thinking? Of course I wasn't in trouble. I was a godmother extraordinaire!
"I dunno, but from what I got you're off to jail, and before you go I'd like very much to be in my proper shape and back home. I have a family to support!"
"Ha, ha, very funny."
"I'm serious," he said. He looked it.
"Why?" I asked, feeling my euphoric cloud slowly evaporating and leaving me with a whole lot of trouble and a toad that wouldn't tell me what was going on. "Who are you talking about?"
"I don't know who they are," he said, "they sure ain't the Arpathian police force. They're little and wearing sparkles and all that rubbish."
"They're little and sparkly," I said. "That doesn't tell me much." He shrugged.
"I'VE never seen them before. But I'm no fairy, maybe you'll recognize them."
"I'm not a fairy," I corrected. "I'm a fairy godmother. They're two entirely diff---"
"Okay," he said cutting me off. "Fairy godmother. And trust me, fairy godmother, you're in trouble."
"Why?"
"Don't ask me. I'd just appreciate it if you'd---"
He stopped suddenly. I glanced down to where he was suddenly looking, and I knew at once what he'd meant when he said "little and wearing sparkles."
A little elf was standing behind my skirt, hands behind his back, tottering on the balls of his feet. He came about up to my knee, but was more noticeable than any human being I had ever seen, due to the... well, I wasn't sure if it counted as am outfit or not.
Glitter. Sparkles. Lace. Ribbons. Gold. Silver. Every other kind of Traditionally Appropriate Glinting Metal as specified in the 'Arpathian Customs in Dress' handbook, a necessary reading assignment in every school across the country. Bows. Frills. Everything in a different clashing color. And it was all stuck higgledy-piggeldy onto two feet of shapeless jumpsuit. A golden badge, enormous but hardly noticeable for the froof-a-noof surrounding it, adorned his chest, reading 'Police Backup'.
"You are Miss Celeste Shimmerstar?" he said in a nasally and clipped voice.
"Yes."
"Address me as 'sir'," he said, looking disgusted.
"Yes, SIR. That's me."
"You are under arrest," he said shortly. "Follow me."
He turned to go. I shot an incredulous look at both the toad-driver and the back of the elf's head. I was supposed to take THAT uniform seriously. Right...
"HOLD it," I said. He stopped as though he had run into a wall, set his shoulders, and spun around to face me, a look of grim determination on his oddly mischievous looking face.
"What." He looked highly irritated.
"Might I ask why I'm being arrested?" I asked cordially. "I mean, it's not a situation I make a habit of getting into, I don't really know the procedure."
"Blatant disregard for Arpathian Magical Society, Subsection 12: Godmothering LAWS." He shot a death glare. It almost looked like he meant it, but with the lace sticking up from his collar like a ruff I couldn't quite tell.
"What laws?" I asked. "I made a special effort NOT to break any."
"The Official Arpathian Law Book, Section 243, Arpathian Godmother's Auxiliary, law 23, stating that at any given time the Arpathian Godmother's Council retains the right to make and enforce certain laws, on the condition that the Arpathian Godmothering population has at least 72 hours advance notice, said notice being given by the posting of the law upon all public bulletin boards and the like, and-slash-or being broadcast on a daily basis on the Godmother run and-slash-or owned television and radio stations. The law you broke was the most recently approved temporary law, stating that no fairy godperson may use Lovemagic at His Royal Highness Prince Charming of Arpathia's royal ball, on this day. No fairy godperson may use others to direct Lovemagic at anyone at this ball. You have done one of these."
"How do you know?" I asked indignantly. I hadn't used magic, so why on earth was this bizarre little messenger from Sparkleland here scowling and reciting laws for me?
"Effective love-inducing magic was detected on these premises at 10:52 p.m. Standard Arpathian Time. The means are unknown, but the source was traced directly to you, and the prince and a Miss Cinderella Fleur were involved. May we go, now?"
"No. I didn't use ANY love-inducing magic. I was GOING to, but then I heard it was outlawed and hold on a second RATS!"
He looked scornful.
"You did use Lovemagic then?"
"I... I... well, I don't know. I did but it was okay, I thought, because Venus gave it to me,"
"Excuse me?" he asked flatly in that nasal tone. "Who gave you what?"
"Venus gave me Cupid's Bow," I explained. The elf's face remained disgusted and condescending above the glitter.
"Venus?"
"Yes, Venus." His expression didn't change. "You know, VENUS. APHRODITE. THE ANCIENT ROMAN GODDESS OF LOVE."
"I'm sure. Save it for the press."
"You... no, no, look, I've got it here, I'll show you!" I reached into my sash where I had stuffed the bow as soon as I had finished with it. It wasn't there. "Drat. What time is it?"
"It is 12:43 a.m."
"Rats, rats, RATS!" I exclaimed, feeling a strong desire to tear out my hair in annoyance at this fellow. "It's gone, she said Cupid would come and collect it at midnight!"
"I see."
"I'm telling you the truth!" I exclaimed. "Look, just ask her! Of course, I haven't the faintest notion of how to DO that... yes I do, give me a sec."
"One minute." He glanced down at a heavily jeweled pocket watch. "Starting...now."
I hesitated a second. This little guy was nuts. But oh, well, I'd just have to ignore him.
"Venus," I said loudly and clearly. Nothing happened. "Venus!" I repeated. "Venus, I need your help here, please." The night air remained still and quiet.
"Thirty seconds," the elf intoned.
"Venus, I would really appreciate it if you'd beam down right about now," I said to the sky. Nothing. The stars twinkled down at me, completely oblivious to the fact that I was about to be carted off to fairy prison by a two-foot tall grump.
"Ten seconds."
"VENUS. HELP. ME. PLEASE."
Nothing.
"Five seconds."
I gave it one last try. "VENUS!"
A old lady passing by gave me an odd look, but there was no glow, no pop, no shower of glitter, and certainly no Venus.
"Time's up," said the elf in a smug tone. "Follow me, please."
"Hang on."
He sighed loudly. "I will not 'hang on', as you put it. I will leave, now, and you will come with me."
"Of course. The only problem being that I could squash you with the heel of my boot," I said sarcastically. Bad move.
"I wouldn't suggest you try," he said coolly, and snapped his fingers. Some invisible presence scooped me up and dumped me into what felt like and invisible armchair, floating three feet off the ground. The elf turned smartly around, and marched forward. My seat followed him, floating up and over any carriages we encountered. No one seemed to notice us. I tried to climb off, and found I couldn't move. I tried to fly off to no avail, and when I attempted to use my wand, it let out a puff of foul-smelling green smoke and gave high-pitched shriek.
I slumped down. This was jolly.
A distant shout carried over to where I was floating along over a hot pink carriage.
"You didn't change us back! My wife's going to..." then it faded out.
* * * * *
I sat in my cell, gazing glumly at the gold-painted bars. The cell I was in was rather nice... what you'd expect for a fairy. Or more accurately, fairy godmother --- the actual fairies were on another floor entirely. There was a fluffy pink rug on the floor, a pink and gold cot with a pink silk comforter, and a delicate, spindly golden chair. But it was still a prison cell, and I would still much rather be at home, instead of sitting here and cursing Venus and Cupid and Cinderella and my rotten, rotten luck.
I wanted my wand back. They had taken it away "for inspection." More likely so I wouldn't escape, as there was no reason why I should be here, there was no reason why I shouldn't be let out, how was I supposed to know that magical help from the authentic Venus wasn't allowed! Honestly!
But for the moment, I was stuck, I was bored, I was irritated, and I had no coping food on hand. Lovely, simply LOVELY.
"You have a vi-sitor!" sang out a cheerful voice. I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at its source as she came into view. She was a short, fat little woman, in a lavender dress and frilly apron with a lace-edged nametag reading "Millie Boot," her hair was pulled up in a tight bun, and she was always wearing an enormous, eternally cheerful smile that was very irritating given my circumstances.
"You've got a visitor!" she repeated happily. "Aren't you lucky? My children LOVE it when we get visitors! There are SO many of them, you know, so all their friends are coming over all the time, of course. I think they just like our house, it's rather unique, you know?" she said, bustling around outside the cell. I had already heard about her house --- an enormous shoe --- which housed so many children she "just didn't know what to do with them all, bless them!" I had also heard about her husband, her pet goat, her neighbors up to three houses down on one side and five on the other, her mother-in-law, her famous pumpkin pie recipe, and her vegetable garden.
"Now, let's see... where's the paper... yes, here it is! You can have visitors at this hour, I thought you could! It's quite early in the morning, you know, I think it's five o' clock. Or maybe it's six. Who knows. Anyway, you DO have a visitor, and I think she may be here to get you out. What did you get arrested for, anyway? I heard it had something to do with the ball. Malcolm didn't say much, he's not really the talkative type, as you've probably noticed. Kind of grumpy, to tell you the truth. I've never seen him smile. Anyway, I think I may have just possibly run off the subject, and I think that your guest wants to see you. So." And she was out of the room, taking the papers with her.
A moment later, she came bustling back in, Mrs. Pearl right behind her. She looked rather serene and unworried.
"Here you are, Amelia Pearl, says she knows you, and I'm guessing she probably does since she's visiting you!" Mrs. Boot laughed loudly, and Mrs. Pearl smiled good-naturedly.
"Well! I'll be off then, call me if you need me, I'll just be outside, there's another godmother I need to attend to, got caught going to Jajabon to give some princess a bunch of stories she wasn't supposed to have, Shaharazad, I think her name was. I'll be needing to give her some paperwork to sign and all that, promises she won't meddle in stuff like that anymore, you know how it is. Really, you'd think the princess could just go to the library or something..." and she walked off still talking. Mrs. Pearl waited until she was out the door before conjuring a fluffy purple pouf and settling herself down comfortably on it, outside the golden bars.
"Well," she said, almost cheerfully.
"Hi," I said glumly, trying to force down a sense of guilt that had just risen in my stomach. Mrs. Pearl was probably going to get some bad mark on her job or something because of me.
"You look grumpy," she observed, poking around in her purple handbag. She pulled out some brightly wrapped chocolates. "Here," she said, offering me one. "This should cheer you up a bit, they're quite good. Imported from the north, they make really excellent candy up there."
I took it, unwrapped it, and popped it in my mouth. She was right, it did cheer you up.
"There," she said, smiling. "That's better, isn't it? Of course it is. So, what seems to be the problem?" "I'm assuming that you're talking about what's the problem aside from the fact that I'm in jail?"
"Mmm-hmm. All I could get from that elf and Mrs. Boot is that you used Lovemagic at the ball."
"Yes."
"What kind? I mean, what did you do?"
"The prince and Cinderella were getting along great but I wanted to speed things up and make it a little more concrete and I accidentally called Venus, you know, the Goddess of Love, down and she gave me Cupid's Bow and I used it and it worked only I got in trouble with the law apparently even though I didn't know it would count if Venus was on your side," I said in one breath.
"Venus?" There was an odd expression on Mrs. Pearl's face.
"YES, Venus. I know you don't believe me but ---" Mrs. Pearl held up a hand to stop me.
"No, no, no, of course I believe you, she does that every now and then. I TOLD her to stop helping the new recruits, but of course she doesn't listen. She's a GODDESS, she doesn't have to obey mere mortals!" she said sarcastically, looking rather miffed. "I'm going to have a word with Zeus about her, he really needs to keep his clan under control, she can't just come billowing down here whenever someone accidentally calls her!"
"You know Zeus?" I asked, rather amazed.
"Of course I know Zeus. I knew him at school. Of course he was MUCH older than I was, but the nondenominational academy I went to after getting my degree at the academy to become a godmother accepted people of all ages. We were both in Introduction to Wizardry, I believe it was. I haven't seen him in AGES. Well, anyway, we will need to go speak with him and Venus. This is her fault ---"
"But I used the Bow," I protested.
"No it's not, you didn't know any better. SHE does, however, and I'm going to make sure she doesn't do that again. You're the fourth... no, fifth, one to be sent to prison over her 'helping' in the past seven years, I think that's quite enough. Well, anyway, we'll deal with that later. First, tell me exactly how you called her down."
"I just said 'Venus, help me out here,' but I didn't really MEAN it!"
"No, I know you didn't. So does she, that's what's bothering me. We'll have to both go up and talk to her. Goodness, she can be so vexing at times!"
"You mean you're actually going up to Mount Olympus?" I asked, impressed.
"No," she said. "WE are."
"You're taking me with you?" This was very cool.
"Of course I'm taking you with me," she said impatiently. "You're the one who's in jail over it, aren't you?"
"Well... yes, obviously, but ---"
"Then it's settled. We'll leave... well, probably tomorrow evening, I think it will take about half a day to get you out of here, they've got all this paperwork and I'll have to convince them that you should get let off without bail and without a trial. Definitely not a trial, they take MONTHS. You would think with all the magic we've got, it wouldn't take us so dad- blamed long. But, well... I'm not in charge of all that --- thank goodness --- so I shouldn't criticize too loudly. And I think you also need some sleep, you look positively lethargic."
"Yeah," I said ruefully. "Staying up until midnight under extreme stress and being thrown in jail by an elf in the weirdest uniform in the history of man- and elf- kind can do that to you.
Mrs. Pearl laughed. "I'll have to agree with you on that score. Well, not about the uniform, I've seen weirder."
I gave her a skeptical look.
"Think cherry pie-lace-flowers-bells-Velcro-caterpillar-neon-orange- blacklight and you'll get the general idea," she said, heaving herself out of the fluffiness of the pouf. She flicked her wand at it and it disappeared in a puff of purple smoke. "Get some sleep, I'll see you either later today or tomorrow."
"Thanks."
"No problem," she said. "It will all be more than worth it once we get Venus under control. Goodness, she's difficult! Not her fault, probably... being the most beautiful creature in the world can do that to you. But anyway, that's neither here nor there, you just sleep and we'll be off hopefully tomorrow evening."
"All right," I said, smiling and feeling suddenly exhausted. "Bye."
"Good bye!" she said, adding in an undertone, "try to fall asleep or at least pretend you're asleep before Mrs. Boot comes back, I have a feeling you'll be interrogated rather thoroughly if you don't," and left the room, shutting the door behind her. I could hear Mrs. Boot starting to talk out in the hall, and immediately lay down on the cot, quickly falling into a dreamless sleep.