A/N: Cheers! Happy New Year, and Happy New Chapter. Read, as always,
review, as always always (I mean, if you've made it THIS far you must have
something or other to say, LOL) and go check out www.joshgroban.com while
you're at it. (Sorry... current --- and probably lasting --- obsession.
He's REALLY REALLY REALLY good, though. *THUD* --- sound of a devout fan
fainting at the hair and voice and eyebrows and other amazingly gorgeous
stuff. LOL! :-)
Have a super day!
*****
"So what are we going to do?" I asked Mrs. Pearl, who was crocheting a sweater as she flew. Her ball of yarn hung a few feet below her as though on an invisible shelf.
"Talk to Zeus. Yell at him if he's on one of his chauvinistic kicks again. Get him to exercise a little more control over Venus, and then probably do it again once or twice within the next few years to show him we're serious. And I am," she added, "this is the fifty-billionth time or so she's interfered in one of the cases in my department, I don't even know what else she's been up do, and I don't want to. This is enough for me." "So you don't think Zeus is going to take us seriously?"
"Of course he's not. He's not that bad once you get through to him, it's getting through all the 'I am the supreme ruler of the universe' mentality that will be the problem. He's got a little problem with humility."
"One of THOSE."
"Yes. One of those." She laughed. "We'll be able to get our problem into his head, though. It may take a bit of POUNDING, of course, but we'll get the idea in there somehow. He's just got this male dominance issue... it's quite irritating when you're trying to talk business."
"No kidding." I knew exactly the sort she was talking about... there was one boy in my magical prep school that was going to go into the king's- councilor-who-just-happens-to-know-a-bunch-of-magic business. He constantly made comments along the lines of "Off to cooking class, are we?", usually when we girls were on the way to a magical warfare lecture or something, and I, along with almost all the girls in our class, almost turned into an off-the-deep-end feminist after a year with him.
"If you just give him a death glare and ignore the comments --- in a DIGNIFIED way --- he stops. Usually," she added with a sinister look at her knitting. I grinned.
"Oh, look!" she exclaimed, gesturing with her knitting needles.
An enormous mountain was rising in the distance, surrounded by picturesque clouds at various altitudes. Trees and vegetation covered it until about the middle, and then all was lost for a while among puffy white. Once the clouds thinned, all that could be seen was steel gray rock and snow, with swirling wispy clouds drifting about aimlessly. The peak was extremely high.
"We don't have to fly clear up there?" I asked Mrs. Pearl, who was watching the mountain in a cool critical manner.
"More clouds than last time," she said to herself. "More trees too. Putting on a show!" she snorted. Then, "What was that? Sorry, I missed what you just said."
I smiled. "I asked if we have to fly clear up to the top," I said, and she seemed to be barely refraining from rolling her eyes.
"Hardly. They're not that ambitious. No, not true... they're ambitious enough, but not motivated. You see that part that the clouds cover?"
I nodded.
"That's just a cover-up. They live behind all that. Technically, they're SUPPOSED to be living at the top of the mountain, but that's too much work."
"I take it they're not the most hardworking crowd," I said.
"They're downright lazy," she said sniffily, "unless they're involved in some soap opera-type affair... which they usually are. They'll go to any lengths to win each other's hearts, or kill each other, depending on which mood strikes."
This sounded rather worrisome. "Will we be safe?" I asked.
"Not at all. One can never be safe around them. But they can't really cause us any LASTING harm. A couple curses, maybe, but if they kill us, they'll get kicked off the mountain. International magical laws. And they couldn't have that. No, we might leave with a couple of nasty spells, but we'll definitely be alive."
"That's comforting," I said wryly. She arched an eyebrow.
"Quite."
*****
Mrs. Pearl knocked firmly on the golden gates, clouds swirling around us, and making everything beyond the gates white and indistinguishable.
"Hermes is supposed to be guarding the gates," she muttered. "Probably run off again." She knocked again, harder this time. A face peeked out from between the golden bars. Not the most handsome of faces, but pleasant and cheerful.
"Who goes there?" it asked dutifully in a fairly high, horn-ish, squeaking voice, rather like that of a puppet.
"Amelia Pearl. I'm here for Zeus and Aphrodite." The face seemed to consider for a moment, then grinned.
"Well... Zeus isn't in. Aphy is, though. Come on in, I'll go fetch her."
The gates swung open, and the owner of the face came into full view as he stepped out beyond the wall that surrounded Olympus. He was fairly tall, with curly brown hair and an impish face, and was dressed in traditional Greek garb, with wings on his shoes and staff.
"Thank you, Hermes," said Mrs. Pearl. She marched through, causing little disturbed swirls of cloud, and I followed her. "Aren't you supposed to check to make sure we're not really enemies?" she asked as she passed Hermes. He shrugged.
"I suppose so. Oh well, you don't look likely to do much damage. And besides," he added in a softer voice, "we do enough damage amongst ourselves, I don't figure anyone would see a need to come in a do more."
Mrs. Pearl chuckled.
"Isn't that true."
Hermes winked cheekily, then slammed the enormous gates shut with a loud clang and pranced up ahead of us.
"Follow me, I'll take you straight to the palace. This way!" And he went off ahead into the mist, occasionally flying up with the wings on his sandals flapping, rather like a young bird trying to fly.
The clouds dissolved surprisingly quickly as we moved forward, until there was nothing left to be seen of them, unless I looked behind. The sun was beaming down on the large smooth lawn ahead of us as though it were a fine summer day in a warm part of the country, rather than the middle of a mountain surrounded by cold clouds in the middle of who-knew-where. A huge palace stood in front of us, some hundred feet ahead. It was all white and open, with an enormous porch all along the front with tall pillars supporting the roof. A flight of wide steps led up to it, and there were two fountains set among them, on either side of the building, splashing and twinkling in the sunlight. People were wandering about here and there in a sort of slow, lazy, dreamy way, talking or just strolling along as though they hadn't a care in the world. (This was probably far from true, if you judged by the stories I had heard about the Olympians.) They were all wearing either white or pastels, for some reason, and their clothing was draped very artistically, just as it was often portrayed on old vases, or in books. Most of them gazed curiously at us... unless they were too busy gazing in their companion's eyes, as many were. Venus had probably worked her magic up here, too.
Hermes led us up the steps between the fountains, and onto the long porch. A pair of golden latticework double doors were set in the wall, along with pompous-looking busts and small statues of scantily-clad people.
"Give me a minute," Hermes said, and danced up to the doors. He opened one, and was gone in an instant.
"So, what do you think?" asked Mrs. Pearl in an undertone.
"It's... interesting," I said truthfully. I honestly wasn't sure what I thought. It was pretty, but... artificial, almost.
"Wait 'til you get inside."
As if on cue, the door Hermes had disappeared into flew open. Hermes's face was sulky.
"Come on in."
Mrs. Pearl and I exchanged looks that meant basically "Why the mood swing and why do I sense that we're in trouble?" and went inside.
It was cool and darker than it was outside, but still well-lit. My eyes took only a second to adjust.
We were in a tall, open hall with a white domed roof, made up of curved triangular panels with a large gold bead of sorts at each corner. Most everything in here was either white, gray, or blue, with maybe a hint of gold here and there. The floor was a shiny, pale gray marble swirled with white, and pillars of the same rock stretched up to the ceiling. Enormous windows lined the walls, and below many of them were very elegant but comfortable-looking blue couches, that looked absolutely perfect for dramatically draping yourself over them. That was probably what they were mostly used for, as a matter of fact. In the center of the room was a huge statue, or collection of statues, rather, on a circular, raised marble platform. A very powerful looking man --- Zeus --- was seated in the center on an elaborate throne. Hera was seated beside him on a much simpler throne, and the gods and goddesses of Olympus were placed around them, in the usual dramatic, willowy poses. Aside from that, the room was virtually empty. Way beyond the statue was a large, graceful flight of stairs, which led to a balcony that went the whole length of the far side of the room. Curved golden doors lined the wall behind it, and the same style of doors could be seen below the balcony under and around the stairs. The entire room was positively magnificent.
Hermes let us look around for a moment, then sniffed.
"This room," he said disdainfully, "is for show. It's only purpose is to show off the noble family," he gestured to the statue, "and to impress people. Though it's also pretty functional as a room to lead into the rest of the house."
House. Would that I could call something like this a "house".
"Come on. It's up the stairs we go," said Hermes, and he started walking, almost unwillingly, it seemed. He coughed a couple of times, then said awkwardly, "Er... um, there's been a slight change of plans."
"What sort?" asked Mrs. Pearl sharply. Hermes looked uncomfortable.
"Well... see... Aphy's kind of busy right now... and, uh, on the way to her chambers I... I, uh... I ran into Hera."
Mrs. Pearl picked up her pace, until she was standing right next to Hermes. "And WHAT exactly does that mean?" she asked.
"Well... it, uh, it means she wants to see you," he said with a shrug and an attempt at a smile.
"Oh, that's delightful," Mrs. Pearl said, quite as though she thought exactly the opposite, "just delightful. Do try and get us away from her as quickly as you possibly can."
"Shall try," he said dutifully. "But I can't promise anything."
"Try your BEST," said Mrs. Pearl. We started up the flight of steps, Mrs. Pearl shaking her head.
"What's the matter?" I asked. "Is there something... wrong... with her?"
"She's a bit... well, you'll see. Jealous, I think, is the word I want. She's a bit jealous. And suspicious. And it's either dangerous or simply irritating. Either way, I was sincerely hoping we would NOT have to meet with her."
"Shush," said Hermes. "Keep your voice down."
"I don't care if she hears me," Mrs. Pearl said.
"But I do!"
"Fine. Just try to get us away soon."
"I will. No promises, though, remember that!"
"All right. No promises."
We were at the top of the steps. Hermes led us to a door to the left, opened it, and ushered us through. A woman was seated on a long white couch, one arm draped over the thin, curving side, the other across her lap. She surveyed us imperially for a moment, then rose.
"Welcome to Olympus," she said in a soft voice. It sounded more like a threat than a welcome.
"Thank you," said Mrs. Pearl politely. I echoed her, but in a more muted voice... this woman intimidated me, somehow.
"I recognize you," she said, moving forward. "Amelia Pearl, is it not? You were at the Academy's last reunion, weren't you?"
"Yes, that would be me. We met briefly."
"Yes," she mused. "Yes, we did. Well, who is your young companion?" She eyed me rather like a hawk looking at a mouse. Mrs. Pearl nudged me.
"Celeste Shimmerstar," I said. "I work under Mrs. Pearl."
"I see," she said in that quiet, smooth voice of hers. "And what brings you to Olympus?"
"I came to see Zeus," I said, "over..."
"Oh, really?" she asked, her eyes narrowing. "Planning to take my husband away from me, were you, little wench?" She advanced slowly, looking positively menacing. A nerve had been touched.
"No!" I exclaimed, horrified. "I want him to talk... I mean, I got into a little trouble, and ---"
"Do not lie to me!" she hissed.
"I'm not, I ---"
"Hera!" Mrs. Pearl said sharply. "Celeste has NO inclinations whatsoever to disturb you or your marriage in any way! We both came to see Zeus on a matter of business!"
Hera seemed to relax a small amount at this. She looked us over again.
"Very well. But I'm afraid he isn't here right now," she said, "though he should be back in a while. His hula lesson should be over within the next half hour."
Mrs. Pearl raised an bemused eyebrow. "Hula lesson?"
Hera waved a hand impatiently. "Yes, yes. He and Hercules are taking hula lessons." What might have been a grimace on any less dignified person crossed her face. "Male bonding."
"I didn't know Zeus was into that," Mrs. Pearl said, " he doesn't seem the type."
"He wasn't," Hera said dryly. "But now he's into that, getting in touch with his feminine side, and feng shui. Demeter suggested the feng shui and everything else followed."
"Good heavens," was Mrs. Pearl's only comment.
"Well, can I pass on a message to him?" asked Hera. "I can have him get back to you."
"Actually, it's about Aphrodite," said Mrs. Pearl. "She's interfered one too many times in the love affairs of mortals."
"What do you mean, 'one too many times'? That's her job." We received a look that implied Hera thought we were both daft.
"Yes, but it's blatant interference, and it's in my department. Celeste," Mrs. Pearl gestured to me, "was recently put in jail for something Aphrodite did."
"Elaborate."
"The use of Cupid's bow and arrow to make a mortal couple fall in love at a ball where all love-related magic was strictly prohibited," said Mrs. Pearl promptly. "She gave the bow to Celeste to use, so the magic was connected directly to her."
"I see," Hera said softly. She seemed to be considering for a moment, then said sharply. "Fine. This way." And she marched --- in a flowing, queen-of- Olympus kind of way --- past us and to the door. Hermes swept it open for her very quickly. Mrs. Pearl and I followed, she looking quite smug, and myself wondering exactly what on earth had just happened.
Have a super day!
*****
"So what are we going to do?" I asked Mrs. Pearl, who was crocheting a sweater as she flew. Her ball of yarn hung a few feet below her as though on an invisible shelf.
"Talk to Zeus. Yell at him if he's on one of his chauvinistic kicks again. Get him to exercise a little more control over Venus, and then probably do it again once or twice within the next few years to show him we're serious. And I am," she added, "this is the fifty-billionth time or so she's interfered in one of the cases in my department, I don't even know what else she's been up do, and I don't want to. This is enough for me." "So you don't think Zeus is going to take us seriously?"
"Of course he's not. He's not that bad once you get through to him, it's getting through all the 'I am the supreme ruler of the universe' mentality that will be the problem. He's got a little problem with humility."
"One of THOSE."
"Yes. One of those." She laughed. "We'll be able to get our problem into his head, though. It may take a bit of POUNDING, of course, but we'll get the idea in there somehow. He's just got this male dominance issue... it's quite irritating when you're trying to talk business."
"No kidding." I knew exactly the sort she was talking about... there was one boy in my magical prep school that was going to go into the king's- councilor-who-just-happens-to-know-a-bunch-of-magic business. He constantly made comments along the lines of "Off to cooking class, are we?", usually when we girls were on the way to a magical warfare lecture or something, and I, along with almost all the girls in our class, almost turned into an off-the-deep-end feminist after a year with him.
"If you just give him a death glare and ignore the comments --- in a DIGNIFIED way --- he stops. Usually," she added with a sinister look at her knitting. I grinned.
"Oh, look!" she exclaimed, gesturing with her knitting needles.
An enormous mountain was rising in the distance, surrounded by picturesque clouds at various altitudes. Trees and vegetation covered it until about the middle, and then all was lost for a while among puffy white. Once the clouds thinned, all that could be seen was steel gray rock and snow, with swirling wispy clouds drifting about aimlessly. The peak was extremely high.
"We don't have to fly clear up there?" I asked Mrs. Pearl, who was watching the mountain in a cool critical manner.
"More clouds than last time," she said to herself. "More trees too. Putting on a show!" she snorted. Then, "What was that? Sorry, I missed what you just said."
I smiled. "I asked if we have to fly clear up to the top," I said, and she seemed to be barely refraining from rolling her eyes.
"Hardly. They're not that ambitious. No, not true... they're ambitious enough, but not motivated. You see that part that the clouds cover?"
I nodded.
"That's just a cover-up. They live behind all that. Technically, they're SUPPOSED to be living at the top of the mountain, but that's too much work."
"I take it they're not the most hardworking crowd," I said.
"They're downright lazy," she said sniffily, "unless they're involved in some soap opera-type affair... which they usually are. They'll go to any lengths to win each other's hearts, or kill each other, depending on which mood strikes."
This sounded rather worrisome. "Will we be safe?" I asked.
"Not at all. One can never be safe around them. But they can't really cause us any LASTING harm. A couple curses, maybe, but if they kill us, they'll get kicked off the mountain. International magical laws. And they couldn't have that. No, we might leave with a couple of nasty spells, but we'll definitely be alive."
"That's comforting," I said wryly. She arched an eyebrow.
"Quite."
*****
Mrs. Pearl knocked firmly on the golden gates, clouds swirling around us, and making everything beyond the gates white and indistinguishable.
"Hermes is supposed to be guarding the gates," she muttered. "Probably run off again." She knocked again, harder this time. A face peeked out from between the golden bars. Not the most handsome of faces, but pleasant and cheerful.
"Who goes there?" it asked dutifully in a fairly high, horn-ish, squeaking voice, rather like that of a puppet.
"Amelia Pearl. I'm here for Zeus and Aphrodite." The face seemed to consider for a moment, then grinned.
"Well... Zeus isn't in. Aphy is, though. Come on in, I'll go fetch her."
The gates swung open, and the owner of the face came into full view as he stepped out beyond the wall that surrounded Olympus. He was fairly tall, with curly brown hair and an impish face, and was dressed in traditional Greek garb, with wings on his shoes and staff.
"Thank you, Hermes," said Mrs. Pearl. She marched through, causing little disturbed swirls of cloud, and I followed her. "Aren't you supposed to check to make sure we're not really enemies?" she asked as she passed Hermes. He shrugged.
"I suppose so. Oh well, you don't look likely to do much damage. And besides," he added in a softer voice, "we do enough damage amongst ourselves, I don't figure anyone would see a need to come in a do more."
Mrs. Pearl chuckled.
"Isn't that true."
Hermes winked cheekily, then slammed the enormous gates shut with a loud clang and pranced up ahead of us.
"Follow me, I'll take you straight to the palace. This way!" And he went off ahead into the mist, occasionally flying up with the wings on his sandals flapping, rather like a young bird trying to fly.
The clouds dissolved surprisingly quickly as we moved forward, until there was nothing left to be seen of them, unless I looked behind. The sun was beaming down on the large smooth lawn ahead of us as though it were a fine summer day in a warm part of the country, rather than the middle of a mountain surrounded by cold clouds in the middle of who-knew-where. A huge palace stood in front of us, some hundred feet ahead. It was all white and open, with an enormous porch all along the front with tall pillars supporting the roof. A flight of wide steps led up to it, and there were two fountains set among them, on either side of the building, splashing and twinkling in the sunlight. People were wandering about here and there in a sort of slow, lazy, dreamy way, talking or just strolling along as though they hadn't a care in the world. (This was probably far from true, if you judged by the stories I had heard about the Olympians.) They were all wearing either white or pastels, for some reason, and their clothing was draped very artistically, just as it was often portrayed on old vases, or in books. Most of them gazed curiously at us... unless they were too busy gazing in their companion's eyes, as many were. Venus had probably worked her magic up here, too.
Hermes led us up the steps between the fountains, and onto the long porch. A pair of golden latticework double doors were set in the wall, along with pompous-looking busts and small statues of scantily-clad people.
"Give me a minute," Hermes said, and danced up to the doors. He opened one, and was gone in an instant.
"So, what do you think?" asked Mrs. Pearl in an undertone.
"It's... interesting," I said truthfully. I honestly wasn't sure what I thought. It was pretty, but... artificial, almost.
"Wait 'til you get inside."
As if on cue, the door Hermes had disappeared into flew open. Hermes's face was sulky.
"Come on in."
Mrs. Pearl and I exchanged looks that meant basically "Why the mood swing and why do I sense that we're in trouble?" and went inside.
It was cool and darker than it was outside, but still well-lit. My eyes took only a second to adjust.
We were in a tall, open hall with a white domed roof, made up of curved triangular panels with a large gold bead of sorts at each corner. Most everything in here was either white, gray, or blue, with maybe a hint of gold here and there. The floor was a shiny, pale gray marble swirled with white, and pillars of the same rock stretched up to the ceiling. Enormous windows lined the walls, and below many of them were very elegant but comfortable-looking blue couches, that looked absolutely perfect for dramatically draping yourself over them. That was probably what they were mostly used for, as a matter of fact. In the center of the room was a huge statue, or collection of statues, rather, on a circular, raised marble platform. A very powerful looking man --- Zeus --- was seated in the center on an elaborate throne. Hera was seated beside him on a much simpler throne, and the gods and goddesses of Olympus were placed around them, in the usual dramatic, willowy poses. Aside from that, the room was virtually empty. Way beyond the statue was a large, graceful flight of stairs, which led to a balcony that went the whole length of the far side of the room. Curved golden doors lined the wall behind it, and the same style of doors could be seen below the balcony under and around the stairs. The entire room was positively magnificent.
Hermes let us look around for a moment, then sniffed.
"This room," he said disdainfully, "is for show. It's only purpose is to show off the noble family," he gestured to the statue, "and to impress people. Though it's also pretty functional as a room to lead into the rest of the house."
House. Would that I could call something like this a "house".
"Come on. It's up the stairs we go," said Hermes, and he started walking, almost unwillingly, it seemed. He coughed a couple of times, then said awkwardly, "Er... um, there's been a slight change of plans."
"What sort?" asked Mrs. Pearl sharply. Hermes looked uncomfortable.
"Well... see... Aphy's kind of busy right now... and, uh, on the way to her chambers I... I, uh... I ran into Hera."
Mrs. Pearl picked up her pace, until she was standing right next to Hermes. "And WHAT exactly does that mean?" she asked.
"Well... it, uh, it means she wants to see you," he said with a shrug and an attempt at a smile.
"Oh, that's delightful," Mrs. Pearl said, quite as though she thought exactly the opposite, "just delightful. Do try and get us away from her as quickly as you possibly can."
"Shall try," he said dutifully. "But I can't promise anything."
"Try your BEST," said Mrs. Pearl. We started up the flight of steps, Mrs. Pearl shaking her head.
"What's the matter?" I asked. "Is there something... wrong... with her?"
"She's a bit... well, you'll see. Jealous, I think, is the word I want. She's a bit jealous. And suspicious. And it's either dangerous or simply irritating. Either way, I was sincerely hoping we would NOT have to meet with her."
"Shush," said Hermes. "Keep your voice down."
"I don't care if she hears me," Mrs. Pearl said.
"But I do!"
"Fine. Just try to get us away soon."
"I will. No promises, though, remember that!"
"All right. No promises."
We were at the top of the steps. Hermes led us to a door to the left, opened it, and ushered us through. A woman was seated on a long white couch, one arm draped over the thin, curving side, the other across her lap. She surveyed us imperially for a moment, then rose.
"Welcome to Olympus," she said in a soft voice. It sounded more like a threat than a welcome.
"Thank you," said Mrs. Pearl politely. I echoed her, but in a more muted voice... this woman intimidated me, somehow.
"I recognize you," she said, moving forward. "Amelia Pearl, is it not? You were at the Academy's last reunion, weren't you?"
"Yes, that would be me. We met briefly."
"Yes," she mused. "Yes, we did. Well, who is your young companion?" She eyed me rather like a hawk looking at a mouse. Mrs. Pearl nudged me.
"Celeste Shimmerstar," I said. "I work under Mrs. Pearl."
"I see," she said in that quiet, smooth voice of hers. "And what brings you to Olympus?"
"I came to see Zeus," I said, "over..."
"Oh, really?" she asked, her eyes narrowing. "Planning to take my husband away from me, were you, little wench?" She advanced slowly, looking positively menacing. A nerve had been touched.
"No!" I exclaimed, horrified. "I want him to talk... I mean, I got into a little trouble, and ---"
"Do not lie to me!" she hissed.
"I'm not, I ---"
"Hera!" Mrs. Pearl said sharply. "Celeste has NO inclinations whatsoever to disturb you or your marriage in any way! We both came to see Zeus on a matter of business!"
Hera seemed to relax a small amount at this. She looked us over again.
"Very well. But I'm afraid he isn't here right now," she said, "though he should be back in a while. His hula lesson should be over within the next half hour."
Mrs. Pearl raised an bemused eyebrow. "Hula lesson?"
Hera waved a hand impatiently. "Yes, yes. He and Hercules are taking hula lessons." What might have been a grimace on any less dignified person crossed her face. "Male bonding."
"I didn't know Zeus was into that," Mrs. Pearl said, " he doesn't seem the type."
"He wasn't," Hera said dryly. "But now he's into that, getting in touch with his feminine side, and feng shui. Demeter suggested the feng shui and everything else followed."
"Good heavens," was Mrs. Pearl's only comment.
"Well, can I pass on a message to him?" asked Hera. "I can have him get back to you."
"Actually, it's about Aphrodite," said Mrs. Pearl. "She's interfered one too many times in the love affairs of mortals."
"What do you mean, 'one too many times'? That's her job." We received a look that implied Hera thought we were both daft.
"Yes, but it's blatant interference, and it's in my department. Celeste," Mrs. Pearl gestured to me, "was recently put in jail for something Aphrodite did."
"Elaborate."
"The use of Cupid's bow and arrow to make a mortal couple fall in love at a ball where all love-related magic was strictly prohibited," said Mrs. Pearl promptly. "She gave the bow to Celeste to use, so the magic was connected directly to her."
"I see," Hera said softly. She seemed to be considering for a moment, then said sharply. "Fine. This way." And she marched --- in a flowing, queen-of- Olympus kind of way --- past us and to the door. Hermes swept it open for her very quickly. Mrs. Pearl and I followed, she looking quite smug, and myself wondering exactly what on earth had just happened.