DETENTIONS AND PERVS:
I woke up early that next morning. Every one else in the dorm was still asleep and I took this opportunity to take a nice long bath.
"Rubber duckie, you're the one…" I sang, splashing around in the tub with my dukie. "Rubber ducky, your… so much fun!"
"Hurry up in their you fat shower hog" said the voice of Amy.
"I'll be 5 minuets"
"3 minuets"
"No."
"Ok."
I quickly finished washing my hair, turned the water off, put on my undies, and exited the shower with my towel. Amy rushed past me.
I walked over towards Lily (she was still sleeping) and pulled her out of bed.
"Get up u lazy bum." I said
"No… s'too early." Lilly mumbled, hugging her pillow as if it could keep her in bed.
"Oh yes I can."
"Noooo! Don't harm me… look I'm getting up, I'm getting up." She cracked open an eye. "See? I'm all awake."
"Lils, no more late nights for you." Kate said
Kate, Amy, Lily and I headed out of the Gryffindor tower towards the great hall. Just as we climbed out the portrait hole, me and my clumsinesnes tripped over and landed on my ass.
"Ow…" I said rubbing my butt
"Oh you stupid girl, you messed your hair up!" said Kate as she grabbed my hair and started to neaten it up.
"Ouch man, be gentle… like the birds, the wind and the water." I said. I pulled my wavy brown hair into a pony, and drifted off in a mysterious manner, mumbling to myself about wind.
"You're so weird Jem." Amy said, as she shook her head.
"Your face is weird." I said, rolling my eyes.
Our conversation went on like this until we reached the great hall.
"I want chocolate for breakfast! They never have chocolate! Damn the friggen house elves and their friggen non-chocolate meals!" I said, as I attempted to stamp on the ground in frustration. I missed. And hit my other foot. Hard.
"Shit… that friggen kills." I said, hopping on one foot and rubbing the other.
"Jemma, when will you learn?" Kate said as she hit me on the back of my head.
I ate my breakfast quickly and headed to the history of magic classroom. I was the first their and so I decided to sit on the floor and read my book 'ime vlaka' some Chinese book or something. But I wasn't really reading I was just making fun of the funny words and letters.
"Watcha reading?" asked a voice (yes a voice..)
"I dunno some Spanish book or something" I answered as I looked up, who else it was but the evil cockroach stuffing down the back Sirius.
"I didn't know you could read!"
"I didn't know either, I'm learning new things every day"
"Sure are, so um anyways, you might wanna close your legs because-why are you threatening me with that evil little ball of yours?" he said looking scared.
"For looking up my skirt"
"I didn't mean to"
"Suure you didn't"
"But I didn't"
"uhu, yep"
"Bitch"
"Perv"
"Slut"
"Slut"
"Hey that's what – huh, I am not-"
"Hey Sirius, where were you at breakfast?" asked James as he walked over to his friend
"Outside" answered Sirius
"Why were you outside?' Remus asked
"Because I was"
I stopped listening to this conversation because it was lame and pointless and started reading my Italian book again. I was reading, 'I batata ine sto trabezi' when my friends skipped over.
"Hey where were you?" asked lily
"Here"
"Why?" asked Amy
"I'm not going to even bother to answer that question" I said
The bell rang for class.
God this is boring, eeewww! this girls skirt is soo short and she hasn't even bothered to actually sit on the dam skirt. I can see her undies. ew ew ew, dam bitch. why did she have to sit in front of me. I wonder how many fingers I have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. yep, all there.
"And then the goblins won the case and …" said the history of teacher who's name I do not know.
Oh god I give up, I'm just going to sleep, it has more of a point than this class anyways.
"Jemma, Jeeemmaa, JEMMA" said Lilys voice
"Wha" I answered as I removed my head from my desk
"Teacher wants you" said lily
"Crap"
"Miss Collins, I expected better of you, falling asleep in class, 5 points from Gryffindor and a detention tomorrow night at seven" said the history teacher.
Lily and I exited the classroom towards the great hall for lunch.
"God, were in the sixth year and you still have naps in class" lily said as she shook her head.
"I had to close my eyes. the little voice in my head told me to"
"Oh, you are seriously the saddest person"
We entered the great hall, found Amy and Kate. Ate lunch. And set off to the dungeons for potions.
"My brain doesn't like potions" Amy quoted
"I need a facial for my back, ever since the cockroach attack, I swear there is bacne there now" I said in a grossed out voice
"Sure there is" said Lily
"Crap no, potions with the Slytherins…again" Kate said as she pouted
"Well, at least it's not 'Permanent' partners, like in charms. If you get stuck with an ass hole, that's it. too bad." I said shuddering as I remembered being partnered with this Huffelpuff guy that was total shitface, and somehow managed to catch my hair on fire, even though we were doing cheering charms.
We entered the dungeon and it was dark, and I no likie dark.
"Well, who wants to sit next to me?" asked Amy
"I will" I answered
We took a seat next to each other and started to talk, seeing the teacher wasn't here.
"Ew, Amy , that Slythering with the buckteeth is checking you out." I said.
"…is he cute?"
There was a slight pause.
"Buckteeth amy… buckteeth…"
"Oh, crap!"
Just then our bum-headed, evil, crappy, fuck-faced teacher entered. Professor Mole… Because he has a huge mole the size of Russia on his eyelid. But seriously, it's really big. He can't open his left eye because of it. He always squints at us lopsidedly. Its kinda gross actually.
Amy elbowed me. "Professor Mongoloid has come in!"
"Like I didn't notice mole-face enter! He's kinda hard to miss when he nocks you over with his protruding blemish. I swear, if it got any bigger, it would overcome his face."
"Miss Collins, would you kindly refrain from talking in my classroom?" the professor snapped at me.
"Sorry Professor Mole… galoid." Oopsies…
"Excuse me?" Uh-oh. Not good. "I was under the impression that my name was Mongoloid, not Molegaliod."
"Sorry Professor. I... umm… I suffer from… necrophilia … I mean… uh… dyslexia…"
"5 points from Ravenclaw!"…well then. I guess his mole really is digging into his brain.
"Nice one" said a voice from behind me
I turned around to see James and Sirius smiling.
"Well it's not my fault he's such a mole" I said
"Miss Collins this is the second time I've had to talk to you this class, detention" said the mole
"Crap"
"Wow 2 detentions in one day, that's amazing" James said as he laughed.
"How fun for me!" I said sarcastically .
Class had ended. Yaaay.
"Jemma, that was a good cover up, dyslexia, wow." said Kate
"yea well I am the best aren't I" I said as I flicked my hair
"what do we have now?" Lily asked
"transfiguration" said Kate happily, she loved transfiguration.
We walked to our next classroom and I thought to myself, no more detentions PLEASE!
You people better liked that chapter because I broke my finger nail. And it really hurts.