What the Ministry Doesn't Want You to Know.
spazZy dOOfus
DISCLAIMER:
I own nothing. Well, except my car (piece of shit), and my iPod (hooray for iPods, mine is pink), and my cool shoes (I love my shoes), and one of my shoelaces (I stole the other one). Okay, so I own some things. But I don't own any of the characters, locations (unless I get a creative brainwave and make some up), any of the spells (again, unless I decide to make some up), and (nearly) all the words used in this fic were originally created by somebody else, so I guess I should say I don't own those either. Just about everything here belongs to the great and wonderful J.K.Rowling, because she is great and wonderful. And any other people, bands, places, songs, movies, books etc. that I may mention, I also, obviously, don't own. I think that's everything. If not, go ahead and sue me. I have nothing anyway.
WARNINGS:
This fan fiction will contain- course language, and probably a lot of it; sexual references; violence; and overall mature themes. Possibly a sex scene or two may be thrown in also, we'll see how I feel. So if you cant handle any of these things, or general mentalness, or you have no sense of humour, turn back now, this fic is not for you. Also, my alter ego may take over at times… no I wont… yes you will. See, its really out of my control…
Chapter One: Prologue… Kinda.
Okay, so here's the stitch. Everyone is at Hogwarts. It is, say, the trio's seventh year. This story is actually an attempt to uncover the truth. You see, the Ministry of Magic does not want you to know what really goes on at Hogwarts. They feel it makes them look bad. So they try to smooth the whole thing over with false impressions. But I ask you this. Can Dumbledore really be that calm; can Harry Potter really be that special; can Draco Malfoy really be that blonde. And seriously, can Hermione Granger really be that smart, well mannered, kind to all creatures and most of all, in love with Ronald Weasley? Of course not. These people are portrayed this way because it's what the Ministry wants us to think. But unfortunately for them, I stumbled upon the truth, and here it is.
Harry Potter? Pfft, Harry Who more like, he's not that great. Ronald Weasley? Cross dresser. Yes, you heard it here first. Hermione Granger? Rebellious punk chick. And is there more to Draco Malfoy than meets the eye? You bet your rainbow suspenders there is. I'm telling you, these are some seriously fudged up kids!