When you Really Wanna Tell Her
-
It was killing him to watch her like that, and everyone knew it. But he put up a façade, he was the smiling jokester, that nobody took seriously, because he so rarely was serious. But it was slowly killing him, to watch her go through one tumulus relationship after another, only to have her come crying into his arms every time some asshole broke her heart.
But he couldn't do it forever, and sooner or later he'd have to tell her how he felt. But he couldn't do it. For one, who would want a street rat like him? So he'd sit back, bide his time, and wait. But he couldn't wait forever.
Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, months into years. He watched as she got married, he gave her away. God, he could have killed himself, to watch her get married, to walk her down the aisle. What hurt the most, was that she was marrying his best friend. His best friend who knew his feelings for her, but knew he had too much honor to interfere. Besides, she loved him, why should he take that away from her?
So he'd smiled, and said congradulations. "Duo, will you give me away?" She'd asked, and he'd agreed instantly, if only to see her smile light up the room. And he'd given a speech at her wedding, giving his blessings to the happy couple.
He watched as she and Heero had their first kid, a holy terror, much to their regret. His godson, and Duo had taken it upon himself to teach their son all the tricks and pranks that were sure to cement his standing as 'Satan's Spawn'.
Duo went through one relationship after another, each one ending as soon as they began, because nobody could compare to her, nobody could ever take her place in his heart. And it killed him, to see her so happy, so full of love and joy, and it killed him. At each reunion, anniversary, and get-together they had, to laugh and remember the good old days of trying to kill each other, he put on his façade, and his arm around whoever he was dating at the time, all the while getting drunk off his ass just to make the pain of seeing Her wrapped around his best friend, happy and in love with someone that wasn't him.
Finally, he met Jaclyn. She was a social worker on L2, his old colony, and worked with orphans and troubled teens. She wasn't beautiful, she wasn't perfect, and she wasn't a genius, but she had a great personality and really cared for him. When he found himself wanting to extend their relationship, it surprised not only himself, but the other pilots as well, when he showed up at their monthly reunions without someone.
It still hurt to see Her with Her son and Her husband, but the pain was beginning to lessen somehow. When he found himself wanting to postpone Jaclyn's introduction to the rest of the pilots, his best friends, and the only family he'd ever known, it shocked the hell out of him. All those other girls, they'd meet his friends, and he'd dump them, because suddenly he was reminded of their inadequacies to Her.
Finally, Jaclyn asked when she was going to get to meet the famed Gundam Pilots. "You actually want to?" He'd asked, shocked. It hadn't even entered his mind that she'd actually want to meet them. After all, who really wanted to meet someone who could kill you ten different ways with just one finger?
"Of course! They're your friends, your family. Why wouldn't I want to meet them?" She'd questioned, to which he'd immediately shrugged. Her question had him so off-guard, that he hadn't thought of a reason why she wouldn't want to.
So he'd agreed. And at the next pilot meeting, he'd brought her along, introduced her to Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, and finally, Heero and Hilde, and their son Jake. Despite how hard he tried, he couldn't quite keep the pain out of his voice whenever he introduced the Yuy's, he never really could. But, as usual, everyone but Hilde picked it up. What was worse, however, was that Jaclyn picked it up.
Later that night, as Jaclyn was helping Duo to her apartment, she asked him what the deal was between Hilde and him. In his drunken state, he confessed everything. "I love her. And I couldn't tell her, before it was too late. I walked her down the fuckin' aisle, to her dream husband, my best friend. Did a fuckin' speech at their damn wedding, I'm her kid's goddamn godfather! But I couldn't tell her, and now it's too fuckin' late."
At that, Jaclyn helped him to her couch, and he passed out. After that night, their relationship changed. She told him that until he could admit that he had no feelings for Hilde whatsoever, they were through.
Duo, at first, was okay with this. He figured if she didn't want him, then she wasn't good enough for him, and that she'd never compare to Hilde anyway.
But then, after a few days, he began to notice a few things. Like how he missed it when Jaclyn would call during the day, if only just to say hi. And how whenever she stayed the night at his apartment, she'd always clean it, saying that she couldn't stand a mess, and that it wasn't healthy to live in one.
After about a week or so, he realized something. He missed Jaclyn, he needed her. He loved her. He knew it sounded clichéd and over-used, but he didn't love Hilde anymore. He loved the thought of her, the little things she'd do, and the fact that he would always be her first choice to come crying to whenever things went wrong.
But that wasn't true love.
That was the ramifications of growing up without the love of a parent, or sibling, and he'd found it in Hilde.
But he found true love in Jaclyn.
This thought was so…so…so sudden, and powerful, that it came to him in the middle of the night like a shot to the head, sudden and painful. It wasn't the same without Jaclyn, and he'd known that for a while, with her side of the bed cold and disused. Her scent was fading from her pillow, and her presence was gone from his apartment.
By the gods, he missed her. He loved her.
For some reason, the thought of losing her forever was ten times more painful than the pain of losing Hilde to his best friend.
In a flash, he was dressed, and racing out of his apartment, down the street, in the middle of the night, to her apartment. She lived a good thirty blocks away, but it didn't matter. All that mattered, was that he got to her before he lost her.
It was three am, and it was raining. By the time he got to her apartment, he was soaked to the bone, half-frozen, and winded. But he was there. He pounded on her door, desperately trying to wake her up. He couldn't…he couldn't lose another person he loved. There would be nothing else for him to live for.
When she opened her door, clad in her pyjamas and a robe, blinking owlishly through sleep-ridden eyes, he never thought she'd ever looked more beautiful. And then he was kissing her, pulling her body towards him, kissing her with all the love, need, and passion in his body. She was too shocked to respond, and when he pulled back, her eyes were closed and she looked like she didn't know what was going on. "Duo, what-" he cut her off with another kiss, backing her towards her bedroom.
When he finally broke down and confessed, she took him back. And then, when the next reunion came around, he asked to talk to Hilde in private. Jaclyn gave him a smile and an encouraging squeeze of the hand, before starting up a conversation with Quatre.
When he and Hilde were alone, he started to talk. "I know I should have told you this while I still could do something about it, but…I love you. I did for a long time. And all those times, seeing you with all those other guys, and then come crying to me when things didn't work out, they killed me. I couldn't bear it. Then, you married my best friend. And had a kid. And I still loved you. And…all those other girls, they couldn't compare to you. But when I met Jaclyn, I realized something.
"I realized…that I wasn't in love with you. I was in love with the idea of someone caring about me enough to worry. I was in love with the idea of being the first person you thought of to give you away, to be the godfather of your son, to be the first person to know that you're pregnant with your second child. I…I don't think I'll ever really stop loving you, Hil, but at least I know now that you're happy, and that I'll always remember you as the one that cared enough to stick around. So…goodbye, Hilde Yuy. I love you, and you're my sister in everyway that counts." Duo said, before walking back into the bar, leaving a stunned and crying Hilde behind.
Then, he walked towards Jaclyn, who was now in a debate with Wufei over whether females were stronger or weaker because of their emotions. When he was right in front of her, he dug something out of his pocket, and shoved it in Jaclyn's hands. "We're getting' married." He declared, grinning.
His girlfriend froze for a second, before opening the jewelry box. Sure enough, inside was a simple white-gold solitaire engagement ring. Nothing too fancy, but beautiful enough. Then, she looked up into Duo's eyes, and raised a single eyebrow. "Oh? You're not even going to ask me? What if I don't agree?" She said, narrowing her eyes a little. Duo seemed to wilt a little at this, before sucking in a breath.
"Jackie. I love you. Will you marry me?" He asked, looking her straight in the eyes. She stayed like that for a minute, and just when he was starting to get worried, she grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him into a kiss, wrapping the arm that held the ring box around his neck. When they parted, Duo, slightly out of breath, asked, "Is that a yes?"
"It's a hell yes, baka! YES!" Jaclyn shrieked, grinning. Duo gave a loud whoop, before taking the ring from the box and slipping it onto her finger. Then the two shared another kiss, only this time, with a little more tongue.
When the shouts for them to 'get a room' and 'take it outside' got louder, the newly engaged couple separated, laughing slightly.
Their wedding was beautiful. Jaclyn wore a knee-length white dress with a strapless corset-type top, and heels that laced all the way up her calves. Instead of a bouquet, she carried a single white rose, and looked stunning. Duo was wearing black slacks and a black shirt, with a white tie. The two only had eyes for each other.
Heero stood as Duo's best man, and Jaclyn's father gave her away. Her maid of honor was a very pregnant Hilde, and the ring bearer was Jake, the flower girl was Jaclyn's niece Melissa. It wasn't a big ceremony, mainly immediate family and friends, but it was beautiful, and everyone had tears in their eyes, even Heero and Duo, though they denied it forcefully with the age old excuse; 'I had something in my eye!'
As the two headed for their honeymoon on Earth, Duo couldn't help but revel in the fact that things were actually going his way for once. Maybe things would be okay after all?
(-)
End
(-)
Ohayo! Time for the author's notes again, eh? K'so. Alright. I felt like writing a ficlet, this is just a one-shot peoples, don't get too attached, I just wrote this thing to kick some writer's block, and all it's served to do was prove that yes, I could still finish either a chapter or a one-shot. And also to prove to myself that yes, I did still have something on my brain other than Naruto, Gilmore Girls, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer Crossovers, as well as Stargate. So yeah.
Disclaimer: Do I hafta? K'so…bakas! I don't own Gundam Wing, or any of the pilots! I own Jaclyn, and that's about it. I don't even really own the plot line, because it's been done so many freaking times! pulls out big stick don't make me whack you with the smart stick!