Wake Me Up, Someone.
This is a dream, right? Please don't tell me it's not. Not now, Not after what has happened. Especially not now, not after all those people died. Not after he died. I remember all this as I lie here, in bed, staring at yet another unfamiliar ceiling. How long has it been? Since that horrible night the smell of blood and gun smoke, the feeling of fear and hate still hasn't left my mind. It all felt so unreal. His cold body in my hands, his face still, emotionless. But your face tells me it's not a dream.
"You…it's all your fault," His death, as well as all the others. Your entire fault. I hate everything about you. Why do I love you? Why do you love me? Why must you touch me? Stop, leave me alone! Don't do that to me! I wake up. After we fought I brought us here, this cheap hotel, for him to recover. It's been 4 days since then. It's all a dream then. No not a dream. He is still gone. I cry. You touch my shoulder and ask what's wrong. All the things I want to tell you, to scream at you, but I can't. I do love you even after all that damage. I still love you. Why? Why do I love you? Something about you it just can't seem to let go of me. I don't understand it, but you seem so sure of yourself "why do you love me?" I ask you and you laugh at me.
"Because Vash, we are brothers and you need me." But do I need you? I've tried to live without you but I can't, I don't know why but I just can't. I do need you and I think you need me too. "Vashu you love me too, don't you?"
"I…I…of course I do Knives." I say as I get up. He looks at me with a strange look. Then he smiles
"Well then Vash, show me that you love me." He reaches for me, I try to move away but he grabs my arm and pulls me towards him back on the bed. He snakes his arm around my waist and pulls me close to his body. I can feel his solid cut muscles, the warmness of his body, and for a moment I want him more than ever. He leans in close to me and I can feel his breath on my face
"Knives what are you doing to me?" He laughs and kisses me roughly mashing his mouth on mine. I struggle to get away but he is too strong. When did he get so strong? He pushes me back on the bed and sits on my torso. "Knives please." I try to push him off but he grabs my arms by the wrists and holds them over my head.
"What Vash? I love you and you love me, you said so."
"But Knives this…" he kisses me again and this time he slides his tongue in my mouth.
"Vash, I need you now." He slides his free hand up my shirt feeling my torso and chest and I shiver and moan at his touch.
"I need you too." What am I saying? Am I crazy! But I do need him I need him now more than I ever needed him before. He starts to slowly lift my shirt over my head, tightening his grip on my wrists "Knives you're hurting me"
"Well I can't let you get away" he snickers and gets my shirt over my head and throws it in the corner of the room. He starts to kiss my neck and I cringe and try to get my hands free but he has a good grip on them. He sits up and looks at me with such emotion. "Fine, be that way. I'm not going to force you I'm too tired."
He rolls over and I just lie there in shock. What just happened? I get up and walk around the bed and lay down beside him. He looks at me and I smile. He narros his eyes at me and i frown.
"I'm sorry." He just looks at me and then he puts him arms around me I curl up in his arms and slowly fall asleep. "Knives…. I do love you" I say after some silent time has gone by.
"I know you do little brother. Soon…." But I can't make out what he says as I drift off into a deep sleep.