Author's Notes: Well, after recently discovering my new infatuation with Roxas x Kairi, I, for once, actually got a new idea for a fic! WOW. And it's so EXTREMELY long! I almost thought about making it a chaptered fic, but you know, I'm lazy. Oh, and the formatting got kinda screwed cos of stupid ff.nazi, so plz don't kill me for that. >sighs> PLEASE REVIEW! GRR!
Disclaimer: You know, I DO, in fact, own Kingdom Hearts! HA! You weren't expecting THAT, were you? Yes and I'm just obsessing over my OWN characters… but of course I CANNOT put these scenes in KH2 because I'm just an EVIL person… and of course everyone knows it's ALWAYS gonna be Sora and Kairi in the end. So there. :P
I'm tired of waiting, Sora. You've been gone so long.
B e e n s o a l o n e . . .
People tell me to give up on you, Sora. They say you'll never come back. They say you've found someone else. Are they right, Sora? Have you really forgotten me? The promise you made to me?
F a d e d M e m o r i e s . . .
Selphie's practically forgotten you, Sora. When I talk to her about you, she thinks of Riku. She only vaguely remembers another person, and sometimes she says that I've created you in her memory, by speaking of you too much. She thinks I invented you. I don't bother to correct her.
L o s t H o p e . . .
I'm getting worried, Sora. Every day is like the next; I sit on the beach, every day, waiting hopefully, and every day, I'm disappointed after the sunset, when you still haven't returned. It's been a year, Sora. A whole year, and still no sign of you.
I m p a t i e n c e . . .
Sometimes I wonder, what are you doing out there, Sora? Are the Heartless that bad? What has happened to make you take this long? What's stopping you coming?
S t u p i d D e s t i n y . . .
I'm so helpless, Sora, stuck here on these Islands. I want to go out and find you, but by what means? Your destiny is as the Keyblade Wielder. Is this my destiny? My destiny as a Princess of Heart? To wait for you? For all eternity?
R e g r e t . . .
Sora, why didn't I come with you? I know you didn't want me to come. You didn't want me to get hurt. I know that. But still, I'm sure if I'd pushed enough, you would have given in. You would have let me come. Why didn't I? Why wasn't I determined enough? I guess I didn't see that we would be separated so soon, and for so long.
L o n g i n g . . .
Sora, I can't live without you. You promised you'd come back. Please, please come back soon. Or I might not still be here to greet you.
S a v e m e . . .
Please, come back.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I roll over, still half asleep, and slam my hand down on where I imagine the alarm clock to be.
Unfortunately, I miss.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
It goes on and on and on.
And my hand hurts from where it slammed into the hard tabletop.
I groan and sit up, open my eyes and tiredly slap at the stupid clock, finally shutting off the horrible noise. I sigh in relief, savouring the sound of silence. Smiling, and suddenly triumphant, I yawn and stretch, peering around the semi-dark room in its early morning state.
T h e e v i d e n c e . . .
The floor is reasonably clean, with only the occasional piece of clothing or random teddy bear lying on it. The working desk in the corner looks unused and abandoned, the layer of dust on it almost visible. The wooden chair under it looks equally neglected, tilted on a strange angle with a few old items of clothing dangling from it. Strange models hang from the ceiling; childishly made boats. Some even have cute little figures in them.
I shake my head, ruffling my shoulder length hair, and stand up, somehow managing to trail the bed sheet behind me as I troop to the window. I shrug it off and reach out to part a gap in the dark, heavy curtains. At least, they felt heavy at that time of the morning.
A w o r l d w i t h o u t y o u . . .
After my eyes recover from the flash of bright morning light, I gaze out at the spectacular Main Island. The view from the Mayor's House is incredible. But of course I take it for granted. There are things I'd much rather have. I can just glimpse the faint, smaller island out across the ocean, and with a twinge of nostalgia, I turn away from the window, before that prickle in my eye can progress any further.
I pull on some clothes, not noticing what they are, or even whether they match. I just continue my everyday routine, lost in thought and memories.
XxxxXxxxX
Five minutes later, I race quickly but quietly down the hill, heading for the docks.
Reaching the shoreline, I breathe a sigh of relief and contentment. I gaze out at the tiny island, feeling the morning breeze against my face. The deep colours of the late sunrise are brilliant, and I stand there, for how long, I am unsure, but I close my eyes and smile. Not with happiness -I am never truly happy anymore- but I am content.
B e c a u s e I k n o w y o u ' l l r e t u r n . . .
XxxxXxxxX
Possibly hours later, a scuffling sound in the sand behind me alerts me, and my eyes snap open, afraid.
It comes again, the same scuffling noise of feet trudging nervously through the sand, towards me.
I spin around, and freeze.
I t h o u g h t h e w a s y o u . . .
Is it really you? You're standing there… and although you look different, my heart tells me it's you.
You look at me, bewildered, and I see you struggling to remember me.
A n d i t h u r t s . . .
I stand frozen, staring at you, my mind screaming at me.
"He came back! He came back!" it yells in my ears. I don't listen. I just fling myself at you, screaming for joy.
You don't respond as I had hoped. You tense in shock, and don't hug me as I hug you. I am so happy, I don't care, for I have you back.
Y o u c a m e b a c k . . .
I sob joyfully into your jacket, but sense the befuddlement radiating from you. But just as I begin to worry, you break the almost-silence.
"Who are you?" you ask, confused.
My heart shatters. How can you not remember me? When I have thought of nothing, of no one else for the past year?
W e r e t h e y r i g h t ?
I look up at you, scared, lost; your beautiful cerulean eyes enrapture me, and for a moment, I almost forget the pain in my chest.
"Where am I?" you ask again, just as confused.
Y o u r b e a u t i f u l v o i c e . . .
But as I stare up into your eyes again, I see my mistake. You are not him. Your face is not his. Your eyes, although still the same glorious bright blue, have a different glow to them. You have similar spiky hair, but it is blonde, not brown. You look just like him. But you are not him.
D i s a p p o i n t m e n t . . .
Tears fill my eyes. I stumble away from you in horror, depression and fallen hope clouding my mind. I fall to the ground in despair, knowing you have still not returned.
The boy I mistook for you, he is concerned, and steps forward to comfort me.
F e a r . . .
I crouch on the sand, crying, and suddenly I tense for a moment, afraid, as he pats my back awkwardly.
"W-what's wrong?" he asks, obviously unsettled by my sobbing.
I shake my head, unwilling to confide in a stranger, but he grips my shoulders and, with surprising strength, pulls me to my feet. I wipe my eyes and look up at him defiantly, suddenly angry.
W h y d i d y o u c o n f u s e m e ?
But before I can speak, he does: "What's your name?" he asks.
As if I would tell him. Him, a stranger who shows up looking like you, making me get my hopes up for nothing…
"What's yours?" I ask in retaliation.
The boy, obviously sensing my displeasure, answers without missing a beat, sounding almost cheery.
"It's Roxas."
T h e D i s c o v e r e d K e y . . .
'What an awesome name…' whispers my mind. I shake my head slightly, to shut it up. So what if he had a cool name?
I realise that now it's my turn to speak.
"Mine is Kairi," I mutter, irritated.
"Kairi…" he repeats it. As though tasting it, I thought disgustedly.
I turn away, wanting to be left alone, wanting to cry over my misjudgement, and feeling angry with 'Roxas'. I wasn't exactly sure why I didn't like him. He'd just shown up, out of nowhere, and made me embarrass myself like that…
"Wait!" he calls after me, "… Where are we?"
D i s b e l i e f . . .
I stop, and turn around. It was the same question as earlier. I hadn't noticed it before; too shocked I was with his uncanny resemblance to Sora. But how can he not know where this is? Maybe… could he possibly have a strange case of amnesia, perhaps?
"The… Destiny Islands…?" I say hesitantly to him, hoping to jog his memory.
He just stares at me in unwavering confusion. Come to think of it, I've definitely never seen him on the Islands before…
I walk back over to him, and he watches me, looking extremely worried.
"Where are you from?" I ask.
He frowns. "Twilight Town…"
I blink. Where the hell is that?
"Then… how did you get here?"
Roxas just shakes his head, looking like a frightened rabbit.
I l e d y o u . . .
I take his hand, cursing myself as I blush, and lead him up to the house without a word.
XxxxXxxxX
It was a good thing I hadn't gotten up too early that morning, I reminisce tiredly as I lay my head on the pillow.
The Mayor, my so-called 'father', has decided that Roxas is just another blow in, like I had been. We've been getting a lot of those lately. So he's set Roxas up in our house, of all places, at least until we can find someone else to take him in.
But I want him out of the house as soon as possible. It sometimes scares me to look at him, and to see a shadow of Sora staring back at me.
M a y b e I l o v e d y o u . . .
I must have known Sora so well, to see him so clearly in Roxas.
Because the mayor didn't seem to even notice whom Roxas bore a great resemblance to.
But then again…
E v e r y o n e ' s f o r g o t t e n y o u . . .
XxxxXxxxX
A few days later, I wake up at a normal time, as I had not set my alarm the night before. I clamber out of bed to begin my routine again, but as I begin to dwell on memories of you, another face surfaces in my mind.
The face of Roxas.
H e l o o k s j u s t l i k e y o u . . .
I shake my head again, furious. What's that idiot doing in my head?
I stomp down the stairs to the kitchen fuming, grab a piece of bread and fling it into the toaster, then begin to pace the room, angry at Roxas for being so like Sora, yet so very, very different…
Suddenly I hear a loud yawn, and spin around in time to see, lo and behold, Roxas entering the kitchen, dressed in some old pyjamas the Mayor had lent him.
I shoot a glare at him, then resume my pacing, determined not to look at him.
Y o u ' r e c o n c e r n e d f o rm e . . .
"What's wrong?" he asks, in the same tone as those few days ago, and I feel a surge of de jả vu.
I don't answer, just glare at him again, and storm out of the kitchen, and back up the stairs to my room.
XxxxXxxxX
Unfortunately, I'd forgotten about the toast.
A few minutes later, I hear a timid knock on my bedroom door, and, knowing who it is, I don't bother to respond.
I sit at the old desk, boredly flicking dust off the laminated surface.
Roxas slowly pushes the door open, looking around the neglected room for me. I'm facing the wall.
I c o u l d n 't s p e a k . . .
"You forgot your … I mean… I thought you might want it…" he says uncomfortably. Again, I don't respond.
I can sense his eyes on me, and finally irritated, I stand up and stride over to him, pull the plate from his fingers and quickly slump back down into my chair. I take a bite out of the toasty bread, determinedly staring down at his feet.
"Kairi…" I cringe at the sound of him speaking my name. "Uhh, thanks for… the other day…"
I look up at him, raising an eyebrow.
"I mean…" I'm enjoying seeing him struggle. "Thanks for bringing me here. I don't… understand how I got to this island, but… I'm kind of glad."
He grins at me, and my heart seems to clench.
Y o u r s m i l e . . .
When he smiles, the resemblance, his resemblance to you, it's uncanny. He looks so much like you…Where are you, Sora? It feels like my chest is about to burst, holding in these tears. I stare at Roxas for a moment, forgetting that he is not you, forgetting who he really is…
A n i m p o s t e r . . .
Once my senses kick in, I give him yet another glare, and he frowns. "What did I do?" Roxas asks, and I cross my arms and turn away. "Why do you hate me so much? And why were you crying before?"
I clench my fists in anger and humiliation, staring back at the wall. I desperately will myself not to cry, or else throw a punch at his beautiful face. He has no idea…
After a moment of silence, he sighs.
"Fine," he says. I can almost hear him pouting. "Enjoy your breakfast, then… Kairi."
Y o u s p o k e m y n a m e . . . a n d l e f t m e . . .
And the door closes behind him. I suspected he would have slammed it, but… he's too refined for that.
XxxxXxxxX
After a few hours of aimlessly sitting at that desk, slowly clearing the dust off it (and getting a slight hayfever), I realise that I have not visited the beach in days. If Sora had returned… I wouldn't have been there waiting for him… I fume at that stupid Roxas. Just because he's appeared out of nowhere, that's no reason for me to give up on Sora. And therefore, my routine is out of wack.
S t e a l t h . . .
I stand up, sighing, and tramp to my bedroom door. Opening it, I sneak down the stairs, slip out the front door, and close it behind me, with no one in the house any the wiser.
XxxxXxxxX
Finally standing on the beach again, I breathe out happily. I close my eyes, feeling the wind whip my hair about. I love the shore, the ocean. It's so beautifully peaceful, the sound of the waves gently crashing on the sand. It helps, being out here. Being near Roxas somehow unsettles me. It must be because he looks so much like Sora.
XxxxXxxxX
I t h a p p e n e d a g a i n . . .
Somehow, he disturbs my reminiscing again. Again.
I sit on the edge of the sand, knees pulled up my chin, the occasional wave licking at my feet.
I hear his footsteps long before he reaches me. Those small shuffles in the sand. Somehow I know it's him. Somehow, I just know.
As his feet appear in the little corner of my vision, I sigh, and roll my eyes up at him. He looks hurt.
"Did I do something?"
A f a r – o f f m e m o r y . . .
"Did I do something?" asks Sora worriedly.
I gape in shock and horror. How… how can God do this to me? That face… it's exactly like Sora's… that confused, worrying face…
Where are you, Sora?
This time I can't stop the tears. I feel so humiliated, but they won't stop. They well up in my eyes and run down my cheeks in a never-ending flow. I turn away from Roxas to hide them, but I think my sniffs have already given me away.
I press my fingers over my lips in an attempt to halt the escaping sobs, but then my body automatically reverts to muted shuddering, which I unconsciouslyrealise would beeven morenoticable from Roxas's current position.
Y o u s u r p r i s e d m e . . .
I expect him to laugh, snicker at my foolishness, tell me that crying doesn't solve anything, which of course I already know. I always try my best not to cry, but sometimes, it just comes, and there's no way to stop it.
I sense him kneeling down on the sand, and prepare myself for ridicule.
But suddenly I feel a hand brush over my back, and clamp around my shoulder. Roxas pulls me towards him, so my cheek is pressed up against his chest. I blush fiercely, but cling to him and bury my head in his jacket, seeking the comfort I know won't come.
I f e l t s o m e t h i n g i n s i d e . . .
But he wraps his arms around me, pressing me closer, and I blush deeper as I register the pounding of my heart against my ribcage.
. . . A s p a r k . . .
As I close my eyes, Roxas tilts his head towards me and whispers into my ear.
"I'm sorry."
. . . F o r y o u . . .
I smile into his shirt, a true smile, as I make my decision.
Sora, I think… you might have taken too long.
I push myself offRoxas slightly, but closely enough so his hands can still rest on my shoulders. I smile up at him, wiping the shed tears from my cheeks, and although seeing him face-to-face makes me blush and falter for a moment, I speak.
"D-don't apologise. You didn't do anything wrong." I say.
Perhaps I'll regret this, but…
I lean up towards Roxas, and press my lips against his soft cheek.
I think I like you, Roxas.
A/N: Ahhh, so long! SOO much fluff! XD Awww. They're so cute. Yes, maybe it had just a bit too much SxK, but meh. Hehehehe. I DID pay out Sora a bit as well, lol. And the inserts are mostly just my crazy imagination kicking in, although a few are taken from KH2 as well. Those ones aren't mine! XD I love Roxas so much. SO REVIEW AND I'LL GIVE YOU A COOKIE! NO FLAMES PLEASE! And please check out my other stories! Most are SxK! Tally says I only write about Kairi being sad and depressed, which is possibly true… but whatever! Check 'em out!
And review please!
>Racc48