Dust to Dust chapter 6
"This is really fancy, Luke," Liz smiled as she looked upon the dinner Luke had cooked and set up at the kitchen table. "What's the occasion?" Her smiled grew wider as she looked from Luke to Lorelai. "You guys are getting married, aren't you?"
Lorelai sighed quietly as she sat down at the table in Luke's apartment.
"Oh, this is so exciting!" Liz cried. "Do you have a date? Where do you want to-"
"No, Liz," Luke cut in, looking down at his plate. "We're not getting married."
"No?" Liz pouted. "Oh… so what's- You're having a baby!"
"No," Luke replied hurried. "This isn't about us."
"It's about Jess," Lorelai told her.
Liz blinked. "Jess?" She smiled. "Oh, Jess! How is he? Last I talked to him, he was-"
"Jess is sick," Luke told her. "Really sick."
Liz frowned. "What?"
"He's sick," Lorelai repeated.
The blond woman stared, her eyes deathly cold. "How sick? Where is he?"
"He's not here," Luke told her slowly.
"Well, where is he, Luke?" Liz snapped, her voice urgent. "Where the hell is my kid!"
Luke clenched his jaw, and opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came.
"He's…getting help," Lorelai said softly.
Liz tilted her head. "Getting help for what?" She turned to Luke, looking her brother in the eyes. "Where…is…Jess?"
Luke and Lorelai gave each other a glance.
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It had been decided that Rory would help Lane and Caesar manage the diner while Luke and Lorelai talked to Liz.
She was refilling the coffees when Liz came bolting down the stairs.
Lane watched, and pursed her lips as the blond woman stormed out. "Oh, man…"
Rory set down the coffee filter she'd been holding, and went after Liz.
Lane sighed sadly, and watched as Luke and Lorelai walked down into the diner.
"Liz?"
"I don't really feel like talking right now," Liz said, without turning around. "If you don't mind, I'd just like to be alone."
"I'm so sorry," Rory said quietly.
Liz laughed bitterly. "Oh, believe me, I'm the one who should be sorry."
Rory opened her mouth, but Liz continued.
"I'm his mother," she snapped. "Where the hell was I when this was happening?"
"Jess isn't exactly a little-"
"You live with your mom, don't you? Rory, right? Lorelai's daughter?" Liz asked.
The younger woman nodded. "I am…and…I do…live with my mom-"
"Jess hasn't lived with me since he was fifteen," Liz said. "I couldn't be bothered to actually try and fix what was wrong…and look where it's got him."
Rory merely stared.
Liz shook her head and walked off.
Rory watched her for a long moment, before storming back into the diner, and up to the apartment.
Lorelai sighed heavily. "Here we go." She rushed up the stairs after her daughter, and walked into the apartment, to find her pacing. "Rory…"
"Liz thinks it's her fault."
"Rory…"
"It's not her fault!" Rory cried.
"I know it's not," Lorelai replied gently.
"It's mine!"
Lorelai shook her head.
"You said it yourself!" Rory cried. "At the hospital last night, you blamed me, and you were right! You were so right!"
"I was upset, I didn't mean that!" Lorelai yelled. "Things happen! Jess is sick, and it's no one's fault!"
They stood silently for a long moment, before Rory sniffed and wiped the unshed tears from her eyes.
"I really miss him, Mom," she whimpered. "I miss Jess."
Lorelai sighed and wrapped her arms around her daughter. "I know."
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It didn't take Luke long to find his sister.
She was sitting on the bridge, looking down at the lake.
Genetics were a funny thing.
He sat down next to her and sighed as the day ended around them. "So here's the deal."
Liz didn't look up.
"I've got a ton of beer back at my apartment, all ready and waiting for us."
Still, she didn't answer.
Luke sighed. "Come on, Liz."
"Why did I become a mother?" Liz asked.
Luke blinked. "Liz…"
"Why?"
"Because you thought you were in love with Jimmy and you wanted a baby," Luke spat out. "I asked you that same question when you got pregnant with Jess; that's the exact answer you gave me."
"Maybe…"
"Oh, no," Luke warned. "Don't you even start."
"Look what I did to him!" Liz cried.
"You didn't do anything!" Luke yelled back. "Jeez! Why does everyone blame themselves for this!"
"Oh, please," Liz scoffed. "Don't try and tell me you don't put this on yourself. I know you."
Luke sighed. "If I hadn't kicked him out…If I'd been more patient."
Liz nodded. "So…beer?"
Luke nodded back. "Yeah."
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He looked dazed.
"Hi, Jess."
He glanced up at them from the table they sat at and nodded.
Rory tried to smile. "I brought you a book." He held up the novel. "Hemmingway; Your favorite."
He didn't reply.
Lorelai looked over Jess with worry. He seemed to have gotten even thinner. She got up and walked over to one of the nurses. "Hi…"
"Hello," the brunette replied. "Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I'm visiting Jess Mariano, I was one of his caretakers at home," Lorelai explained. "I was wondering…he looks really skinny…"
The nurse sighed. "Well…he tried to hide a knife in his room, so we don't give him knives to try and cut his food anymore…and he won't let anyone cut his food for him."
Lorelai tried to smile. "Stubborn, isn't he?"
Rory sighed as she watched Jess. He looked almost like a lifeless doll. She reached over and brushed some of his hair out of his face and to her surprise he reached up and took her hand in his.