Title: Pearl Harbour sucked

Authour: Kiley

Genre: erm i'll try for comedy/angst

Rating: suitable for teens

Summary:The coffee table void of apparall other than a crappy movie they had hired together. He made small steps towards the video case that still stood so proudly upon the table.

Authour notes: Inspired by the film Team America.. this song.. somewhat inspired me to write well.. "pearl harbour sucked" by team america.. apparently.. by the dude that made southpark chica's yes i do have the song if you want it let me know!
warning - pencil dick is used in this story and shitty that's it though!
-----------------------------------------------------------

I miss you more then Michael Bay missed the mark
When he made Pearl Harbor

He watched half bored out of his mind, half in despair as the rain trailed numerous patterns across the glass pane of his apartment window. Lights from passing cars blearing against the beading water causing his eyes to squint and melt the random trails of water together. Feeling moisture trail down his cheeks he exhaled looking around his empty apartment.

The coffee table void of apparall other than a crappy movie they had hired together. He made small steps towards the video case that still stood so proudly upon the table. The cover gleaming menacingly in the dim light. The godforsaken faces of hollywood movie actresses staring out from the plastic cover, glaring at him avidly adding fuel to the already blazing fire. He studied the two men carefully before finally declaring to himself that he had been right.

Nochantly he murmered selfless thoughts to his reflection before turning about face and staring futiley at the door hoping at any second she would waltz back in and declare that he was infact better looking than both Ben Afleck and Josh Hartnett. Pearl harbour he hissed through gritted teeth before knocking it over and pacing the floor again.

He flopped defeated in the arm chair that only moments before she and him had occupied. He curled into the exact spot self-loathing in pity as he closed his eyes imagining the phantom presence of her leaning against him.

Althogh he wouldn't it admit it to anyone else but the stupid Pearl Harbor video. He missed her like hell and craved for her return.

I miss you more than that movie missed the point
And that's an awful lot girl

Lonliness accompanied him as he walked slowly around the near empty kitchen hoping to find some form of confectionary to ease the ever growing feelings of sadness taking a hold of every single muscle in his body. Sadly he settled for jolly ranchers, unfolding the wrapper causing an unforseen obsticle only deepening the every growing heart ache in the pit of his stomach. Finally releasing the candy from the confines of the wrapper he sucked it timidly swirling it around in his mouth so that it would create gentle tapping sounds against his teeth.

Before returning to his seat once more he grabbed ahold of her jacket, clutching it against his palm crunching the fabric beneath his fingertips. His eyebrows creasing as he relished in the flavour of black current. "Dorgh!" he spat the half spent candy into the jacket, tossing it aside so it wouldn't cloud his thoughts.

If only Maritza was here..

And now, now you've gone away
And all I'm trying to say is
Pearl Harbor sucked, and I miss you

He remembered the cruel taunting words. Partly because she'd said them only minutes before and mostly because he had been offended.

"Josh Hartnett and Ben Afleck, could give you a run for your money" she smiled evily, a beautiful eyebrow raising to much the smart ass factor of her words.

His only response had been the slack opening of his mouth, his jaw colliding with his knees before hitting the floor. In response he jumped to his feet ripping open his shirt, exposing his finely chisled chest, the sensual v of his hips and the arms of a hero. "Look at me!" He screamed in a vain manner. "I'm a GOD!" He traced his hands proudly over the features of his abdomen smiling in victory. "these pencil dicks have got nothing on me!"

I need u like Ben Affleck needs acting school
He was terrible in that film

It was only then he had realized he'd gone too far. She had been a loyal Ben Afleck fan since she'd seen him in Armageddon. Her finely manicured eyebrows knitted together in a frown. Her lips pursing nochantly, avidly she removed her slender physiqe from the warmth and saftey of the arm chair.

Now here he was. In a lonely apartment. The darkness consuming him as he tapped angrily on the arm of the chair. He needed her to be here with him. To sheild him from all the evil that surrounded him. To make sure he didn't get that horrid black current jolly rancher. To prevent the purple candy from ever haunting him again. He sat consumed by his own thoughts and the need for her to return. Anticipation. Wanting.

I need u like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part
He's way better than Ben Affleck

He awaited her return as much as he awaited the returning of the video back at the store. The day where he would slip it through the slot and forget it ever existed. The day where the sound of colliding video cases would cease to annoy him but rather full him with emotions and gratifications but to anyone else these emotions from just returning a video wouldn't exist. They would never understand. Not until they watched Pearl Harbor.

He sighed reluctantly rewinding the tape. Hearing the shrill whine of protest of the video as it rewound the horrid film. The memorys sparking of haunting dreams of the acting.

And now all I can think about is your smile
and that shitty movie too
Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you

Longly he stroked at the image of Maritza, trapped behind a glass pane. His finger stroking the image tenderly. Her smile cutting to the very core of him. Bringing emotions to the external casing of him. The video caming to a grinding halt, the tape being spat out in rejection.

Clambering out of his seat he replaced the tape back into the case and turned off the video. Turning about face he picked up his keys, walking solemnly to the door, as he stretched on the suede jacket. He clutched at the case tightly as if to realease the anger the movie had caused from within him out. The heat from his hands causing small imprints of his finger nails against the case. As he headed out in the cold of New york city alone.

Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?
I guess Pearl Harbor sucked
Just a little bit more than I miss you

--------------------