An: I have no idea why I sacrificed some of my sleep tonight to write this when I have a 4 day weekend ahead of me, but for some reason that is what I did. I've always said that you don't find out how crazy you are until you try writing in the middle of the night. I stay true to that statement. When I am tired is when my writing turns out the most interesting, or in some opinions strange. Maybe it even turns out better. All I know is that it's a miracle I'm updating this so soon.
The Haunting of L.R-Part Three
I shut my eyes after seeing the door begin to be opened. It was reminiscent of the view of the world's end where someone would refuse to look at what was happening in order to bring hope to themselves that they were imagining what was really true. Somehow I was managing to over dramatize every bit of present occurrences in some way or another. Wasting the last month of summer was beginning to seem like an unfair trade for what had caused me to hide in the first place.
It's easier to walk down a path than to be the one who lays it down brick by brick.
These kinds of statements kept entering my head, and I blamed it all on the guy who first whispered a quote of wisdom into my ear softly. His supply of them seemed endless to anyone who witnessed it first hand. Perhaps the lack of these wisdoms rolling off his tongue with ease was the cause of the complications related to me proceeding with my music career. The comfort of his guidance has become out of reach.
You can't tell me you don't know how reality always manages to pull you back in when your mind has wandered to crucial points of thought or gotten to a point of enjoyment. This time it was the clearing of a throat that brought me back. His eyes only met mine briefly before he moved down to the seat beside me and surprised me with a hug. It had only been a month, and yet he embraced me like it had been years. Similar in itself to the way I might greet Travis upon seeing him again outside of the ways in which his memory haunted me now.
The weight lifted from around me as I was finally set free from the hug. Thinking forward to what I was now going to be expected to explain almost made me wish it had lasted longer. I'd been so busy losing myself within my head that I hadn't bothered to think what I should say or how to say it. I can feel his eyes relax in my direction and the sound of the clock ticking on the wall is slowly finding its way into my conscience.
Why is it so hard to mention Travis? Missing a friend isn't a crime. It's a natural human emotion. People like to ask the questions that are the hardest to answer. That's why I can feel nervousness creeping through me. His reaction was not one that could be easily predicted.
The procrastination is getting nearly painful. My brain needs to start sending signals to my lips so my thoughts stop traveling through me alone while he just sits in front of me with no understanding of my new behavior. Everything is getting to the brink of ridiculous. This is one of my best friends here and I can't even use the intelligence I was born with to hold a conversation.
A month of isolation and silence can really change a person.
"Maybe it would be better if I talked to Robbie."
The words just kind of came out without much reasoning. He saw right through them though. I didn't prefer to talk to Robbie, or anyone else for that matter. I am still just as confused if not more then when the month first began. If not that, then I am not willing to look at the light that I've gained.
"You walked out of the studio on the first day after overcoming all the obstacles that you always said would stop you from getting there. In the end do you really want to have to tell your future family that the one thing in the end that stopped you from your dream was yourself?"
An: So far the length of every chapter has been one page on open office. This seems short published but it also has been working really well as a cut off for me, so as long as it doesn't bother anyone else, it's prefect for me. I don't know if the chapters will end up getting better or not better as I move along, but I have faith and hope that I can keep this up.