An: I still don't know how I've managed to keep this up, but I don't have any regrets at all. For once I don't really have any doubts either, because I know when I see the reviews for this chapter pop into my inbox there is nothing they can say that I won't be glad to hear, positive or otherwise. I'm having fun and from what I've heard back, doing well too. What more could I ask for?

The Haunting Of L.R-Part Four

After my brain hears what Ray says, my ear begins to ring with the words 'It's your fault' as if it were a chorus. When I fail to shake it away I accidentally yell, "No it's not!"

I soon regret it as I believe that I'm becoming closer to insanity. From his reaction, I can tell Ray is thinking the same thing. Inside I truly believe it isn't my fault. My instincts make me want to blame Travis. That seems logical to me.

"Who is stopping you then? I have no reason to believe it is me, but I want to know who is responsible for everything. We've all had a hard time figuring you out."

I almost want to laugh at his last statement. It wasn't particularly funny, but him telling me that my friends were trying to figure me out? I spent a whole month trying to figure me out too. None of them are aware of that.

"You think you're anxious? You're just anxious to find out who this about. I've been spending this whole time anxious to get the person off my mind."

It wasn't even close to a statement that would be considered equivalent to a blow to the face, and maybe it wasn't intended to be. However, it did manage to bring me a step forward in clarifying that there was a 'who' to be talked about.

Out of nowhere there came a knock on the inside of my mind that told me to pick up my guitar. I wasn't in the mood to go through any more long journeys through myself in which I zoned off the rest of the world. I've had enough of those today to last me a week or longer.

I rested with the guitar in my arms and allowed Ray to let his mind wander on about what I could possibly be up to as I thought of what I was supposed to be trying to prove.

"Look at me now. I want you to tell me exactly what comes to your mind. What do you see?"

He is bewildered no doubt. That makes us even though, because so am I.

"I see Lily Randall holding her favorite guitar that means more to her then anything else."

That was a simplified statement. We both are aware of that. I'm not sure exactly what I am expecting him to say. He just has to be wrong. If he said that in the past he would have been right. There is a large question mark debating how true it is now.

"Do you really believe that or is that just what you want to see?"

It is finally time to make him think. To make him have to dig deep into his own mind and pull out something that fits. I can finally relax because right now the spotlight is flashing more on his side of the couch then on mine.

"I'm not sure how this is supposed to be related, but the only thing I can think of that has ever meant more to you than music is your friends."

An: Just an hour before I wrote this I was struggling thinking about how I was going to keep this going, but I sat myself down with the knowledge that I needed to get something written and it began to come to me. I'm really glad to be able to concentrate my mind like that. People's reviews have been bringing smiles to my face since I started this, and those are in addition to the smiles I give myself when I finish a chapter and read it as a whole for the first time. Even a review with critisism wouldn't change this attitude, because if there is somewhere I can improve I always want to know.