Review Section
whisperedrainbow: Don't we all want to kick Paula?
Braziliangirl125: Yes, I'm updating.
SON lover 06: Hating Spencer's mom has become a constant in my story.
Justlikeyou: No, we can't kill Paula.
MistyRiver17: Yay, I amaze you.
emilyscott101: I am... incredibly flattered by what you have told me. That's a lot to put on an author, and you're part of the reason it took me longer to get this chapter out. I wanted to make this chapter as perfect as it could be. I hope everything works out for you. Please, don't be too afraid to tell your mother. I've been there, I know how scary it is. Don't take Paula's reaction in my story as the way that all moms react. I know mine didn't react this way.
Author's Notes
This chapter's written a little differently from my others. I will be switching points of view pretty rapidly. Because of this, I've actually provided you with labels as to who's narrating at any given point. There was just too much going on in this chapter for me to not write it this way. Thank you for your patience.
This chapter is dedicated to emilyscott101. Keep me posted. I'm sure you'll be okay.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from South Of Nowhere. They belong to Tom Lynch.
We're Finally Here
Chapter 9
By Persephone's Nautical Nun
Spencer
My house loomed ominously in front of me. It looked so perfect on the outside; clean cut lawn, shiny windows. It was all fake. It was all just a show for everyone on the outside. It amazed me how well we were able to keep up appearances. What was the point? Why was everyone always hiding? What was so wrong with looking the way you felt?
Without giving it a second thought, I pushed myself forwards, stepping into the war zone, preparing myself for the confrontation.
The fighting could be heard as soon as I stepped inside. "Oh, yeah, because I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing." Dad was standing up for me again. I was certain of it.
"I never said that, Arthur. I'm just saying that you can be a bit of a radical." Yeah. Definitely about me.
I noticed Glen shoot me a few sideways glances, as if he was afraid to look directly at me. I was the cause of all this. I must have looked like a lethal bug to him. Maybe I was lethal.
More yelling came from the kitchen. "What's wrong with that, Paula? We had an agreement."
"Yes, we had an agreement. That was before I found out what a quack this Thomas woman is."
I felt the rage burn behind my eyes. Courtney was the one adult I felt safe with. How dare she say that about her?
At least Dad stood up for her. "She's very good at what she does. Haven't you noticed how much happier Spencer's been?"
"Yes, I've noticed. She's simply ecstatic about the fact that she thinks she's pulling the wool over my eyes about how close she's gotten to Ashley."
"So what? If she's happy, what does it matter? Spencer needs a friend."
"A friend. Right."
I couldn't listen to this anymore. This was the person I was in love with that they were arguing over. It was about time I started standing up for her, and for myself.
SouthOfNowhere
Paula
I love Arthur. I really do. It's just that sometimes I don't think we're compatible enough to raise children. He's way too liberal. He lacks the discipline necessary to do what's best for our kids, regardless of whether or not it upsets them.
The thing is, Spencer's better than the gay life. I've seen them; full of lust, nothing but one night stands. It was disgusting. And if by some chance, she was able to find love in that community, nothing could come of it. She wouldn't be able to marry, or have children. Spencer's such a promising girl. Ashley's not enough for her.
Then there's that infernal scar on her lip. It served as a constant reminder that if Spencer stayed this way, some one would hate her.
She has somehow managed to split her lip again. I've tried asking her about it a couple of times, but she always shuts me out. It hurts, but I understand why she does it.
I only hope that one day she'll forgive me.
SouthOfNowhere
Arthur
These fights between Paula and I have been taxing. I knew it was going to be work protecting my children, but I didn't think I'd have to protect them from their own mother.
I miss my wife. I miss the loving, caring woman that would do anything for her children. The woman standing before me was not the woman I fell in love with. This was a controlling monster who tried to suffocate her offspring.
Lately, I've seriously thought about taking Spencer away from this.
SouthOfNowhere
Clay
I will never forget the sight of Spencer watching herself bleed. It's even given me nightmares.
Spencer and I were more alike than I ever thought possible. I have no idea what it means to be black, even though I am black. Spencer has no idea what it means to be gay, even though that's what she is. We were both on a journey since moving to LA to figure out who we were. No one else in the family understood that.
I've been sitting in my room, listening to the muffled battle below me. They've been fighting more and more, lately.
I didn't agree with Mom taking Spencer out of therapy. She was cutting herself, and she needed help. Mom didn't know that, though. I had promised Spencer I wouldn't say anything.
I saw Glen and Spencer pull up in the driveway. The look on Spencer's face told me that she was out for blood.
I picked up the house phone and dialed a number that the hunk of plastic was used to by now. When I finished my phone call, I made my way downstairs to stand by my siblings.
SouthOfNowhere
Ashley
I stared at the phone next to my bed, willing it to make a sound. I didn't know who I was expecting to call me. It certainly wouldn't be Spencer. Her mother made sure that all ties with me outside of school were cut off.
School had become our safe haven. It was our only weapon against that woman. There was no way she was going to keep Spencer from going to school.
Something was going on. I felt it. I didn't know what it was, but it made me want to call Spencer. I fought against that urge. It would only worsen the situation.
I let my mind wander, and of course, it found its way to Spencer. Ever since her mom cut all contact with me, Spencer's been clinging to me at school, as if I was the only thing keeping her head above the surface.
I almost fell off my bed when the phone rang. I guess I was too lost in my thoughts. When I finally got to the phone, I was surprised to see Spencer's name on my caller ID. I thought about ignoring it, afraid it might be some one calling to tell me I was going to Hell, but decided that it might have been Spencer calling to tell me something important. I knew she would only call under dire circumstances.
With a shaky hand, I pressed the 'Talk' button. "Hello?"
SouthOfNowhere
Glen
"Spencer," I mumbled as I watched my sister move toward the kitchen where our parents were. She looked back at me, and I was taken aback by the pain and determination in her eyes. I've never seen her look like that. It was more than a little scary. That look made me forget everything that I might have said.
A part of me wanted to delay the inevitable fight. Fighting was what other families did. Not mine.
After my moment of silence, she turned around and proceeded towards the kitchen. I started to head for the stairs, thinking about spending the rest of the day with Clay when I noticed him coming down the stairs.
"Hey, man. War zone," I tried to warn him.
"I know, Glen," he said, patting me on the back and settling himself on the couch. "I'm waiting for some one."
"Who?"
SouthOfNowhere
Spencer
I entered the kitchen to find Mom and Dad sitting at either end of the table. Mom's back was to me, but Dad caught my presence and immediately fell silent and uncomfortable.
"Spencer," he said to no one in particular. What was with everyone and saying my name, lately? Mom whipped her head around as if she was surprised to see me standing there.
"Dad, do you mind if I talk to Mom alone for a little while?"
"Are you sure, Spence?" He was no doubt aware of my current mood. I'm sure my body radiated anger.
"Yeah."
He didn't say anything after that. He just got up and left. When I sat down in the chair he had just been occupying, I could see into the living room. Dad, Glen, and Clay were all sitting on the couch. Dad had his head in his hands, Glen just looked like he was staring off into space, and Clay looked like he was waiting for something.
"Spence, look..."
"Why did you pull me out of therapy?" I wasn't willing to listen to her shit right now. I just wanted answers.
"I sent you there for a reason, Spencer. And I've seen nothing but the opposite of what I was hoping for."
"What you were hoping for, Mom. This whole thing is about you. Have you even stopped to think about me?"
I saw her eyes start to water. "I've thought about nothing but you, Spencer."
"Then start acting like it. Pulling me out of therapy was probably the stupidest thing I've ever seen you do." I was starting to get really upset now.
"Spencer, what are you talking about?"
"You've been screwing up, Mom. First you separate Ashley and me, and that's hard enough to deal with..."
"I had every right to separate you two. It was unhealthy..."
"Unhealthy? No, Mom, that's not unhealthy." I stood up from my place at the end of the table and slowly made my way over to her, pulling up the sleeve of my hoodie. "This is," I said, thrusting my arm in front of her face. "Tell me again how taking me out of therapy was a good idea."
I was suddenly aware of tears streaming down my mother's face, and I started to regret doing this the way I did. I couldn't very well turn back now, though.
Before either of us could say anything, the doorbell rang.
SouthOfNowhere
Ashley
I sat in my car for a few minutes, silently staring at the house in front of me. Inside that house, a war was raging. That war was being fought over me. But, I refused to let myself feel guilty. Love couldn't be a negative thing.
Clay had called me, telling me to come over. He said something big was going on and that Spencer was going to need me. Besides, I needed to get my side of the story out, anyway.
Steadying myself, I got out of my car and started up the walkway, ringing the bell as soon as I got there before I lost my nerve.
I didn't have to wait long for Clay to answer the door. He stepped aside, motioning for me to come inside. I was met with confused looks from Glen and Mr. Carlin. Apparently, Clay was the only one who knew about me coming.
"Ashley?" I heard Spencer's voice before I had a chance to ask any questions. I turned in the direction of the kitchen in time to see Spencer running towards me. We wrapped our arms around each other and held on for dear life.
It felt so good to be back in her arms. I had really missed her warmth. I pulled away slightly, not paying attention to her family looking at us. My hand moved to cup her cheek. "What's going on, Spence?"
"Ashley. You're not supposed to be here." Mrs. Carlin's voice ripped through my ears, bringing me back to reality.
SouthOfNowhere
Spencer
I felt Ashley tense at the sound of my mother's voice. I hated that my mom had do much power over Ashley. I felt her start to move away from me, like she was ashamed, or embarrassed. I wouldn't let Mom have the satisfaction. I moved behind Ashley, wrapping my arms around her slim waist, resting my chin on her shoulder, challenging my mother with the sight before her.
Ashley shifted uncomfortable, searching for an answer as to why she was here. She did seem to relax a little when I kissed her on her cheek.
"I called her," Clay spoke up. "You say this is all Ashley's fault. She should at least be allowed to defend herself."
I loved Clay so much in that moment that words could never express it.
My mother's eyes stayed fixed on Ashley and me. "Alright Ashley. What's your story?"
Ashley continued to squirm in my arms. "Well... I... Spencer..."
She was floundering. It was up to me to save her. "This has nothing to do with Ashley, Mom." I removed my hands from Ashley's waist and walked around her to face Mom. "This has everything to do with me and my feelings for Ashley."
"Spencer, you're confused," she said, taking a desperate step towards me.
"Confused? Does this look confused to you?" I asked, turning around to face Ashley. I leaned in, pressing my lips against hers, gently at first, then with more aggression. I hadn't felt her lips in a while, and I guess I just got carried away. We pulled away and stared at each other's faces. She was so beautiful.
Remembering where we were, we released each other and I turned around to face my mother, only to find her sitting in a chair with her head in her hands.
I made my way over to her, crouching in front of her, taking her hands in mine, forcing her to look at me.
"What did I do, Spence?" she asked, shaking her head.
I became painfully aware that I had been right when I said this was all about her. "You didn't do anything, Mom. No one did. This is just the way things are. Can't you be happy for me?"
"I'm scared. I'm always so worried about you, Spencer." Her eyes flashed to the scar on my lip. "I just love you so much."
"I know, Mom. I love you, too." And then I wrapped her in a stiff hug.
There we sat for the rest of the day. My family, Ashley included as part of that, watching as I held my mother while she softly cried into my chest.