Chapter 5

The Not So Calm Before The Storm

Not Just Another Lily James Fic

a/n: yes, i know that in the first chapter i said that Pearl was a brunette but now she will be Vietnamese. Sorry, my beta "fixed" it with out me realizing!Something yo may have noticed: I have put some lyrics at the top... I like the idea so i'm going to try and keep doing that.

Please review!

To live and not to breathe,
Is to die in tragedy,
To run, to run away,
To find what you believe,
And I leave behind,
This hurricane of fucking lies,
I lost my faith to this,
This town that don't exist

So I run,
I run away

To the light of masochists,
And I leave behind,
This hurricane of fucking lies,
And I walked this line,
A million and one fucking times,
But not this time

I don't feel any shame,
I won't apologize

When there ain't nowhere you can go,
Running away from pain,
When you've been victimized,
Tales from another broken home
-Greenday, Jesus of Suburbia

Three days after Pearls near-fatal asthma attack she and Sirius were standing in the Common Room. Remus was skimming through a book of muggle trivia facts that Lily had given him. James was planning his debate points for his upcoming row with Lily on nearly killing Pearl so that Lily would go out with him. Lily was laying upside down on an armchair waiting for the fireworks to start.

"So..."

"A needle pulling thread."

"Huh?"

"It's a muggle thing... Don't worry about it."

"Oh... Okay ... wait! Pearl you're... from magic parents aren't you?"

"Yes but my grandmother is muggle ... just realized that I didn't learn that from her... Lily taught it to me."

"Ok. So why did you call me in here again?"

Pearl sighed. " I never did tell you, did I? ... No, I didn't. Um... I'm sure I had a good reason... but I forgot it now... Shit."

"No problem,"Sirius responded," I have something for us to talk about... I think you owe me an apology."

"Yeah... that night have been it... But before I apologize ... what am I being sorry for?"

"My god! Are you really that dense? I just saved your fucking life! Even after you torment me, turn me down, insult me, call me good-for-nothing, insult my friends, think that I'm good only for snogging and pranking, in short you treat me like my family does!"

"Why does you family do that?"Pearl looked slightly horrified.

"Probably for the same reasons you do except add your hate to the fact that I'm a 'no good, stinking Gryffindor that is a -what was it? Oh yeah!- disgrace to Noble and Most Ancient House of Black!'"

"Listen... you know what, never mind! There's no point! Unloading my sad story on you is pointless because you don't care anyway!"Sirius was screaming now.

"I-"

"Just shut up!" Sirius yelled as he turned around. He stomped back to the Boys' Dormitory. James ran after him. Peter got up to do the same but Remus forced him down saying that James would take care of it. Lily flipped from her inverted position to both feet planted on the floor and striding over to Pearl who was now standing frozen and tears beginning to freely flow down her face.

"I...I didn't know..."she whispered, "I had no idea..." Lily hugged her. She remained motionless. She kept whispering 'I didn't know' over and over. Remus walked over.

"It's not something he likes to remember. That's why he acts like he does. He figures that if everybody loves him and worships him he might have something to combat the evil he gets when he goes home. His house is just one big hellhole for him. He hates it."

"Why doesn't he run away?"

"He did, Lily... He lives at the Potters'. His parents send him hate mail on a daily basis. Sirius can't escape. A lot of options closed for him when he left. He will never be able to get a job with the ministry because his dad is particularly good friends with the minister. His entire family disowned him. Right now, his only family is the Potters."

"It must take a lot to be him."

"You have no idea..."

next morning in the girls dorm...

"Where are you going?"

"Um.. I-I... I'm..."

Lily sat up in bed to face Pearl.

Pearl bit the inside of her cheek. "I'm... "

"You're apologizing..."

"Yes."

Lily rolled out of bed. She walked over to her friend. Lily took away the letter that Pearl held. It was addressed to Sirius. She ripped it in half. Pearl blinked. Lily walked Pearl over to her bed. They sat down. Pearl stayed silent and waited, knowing that if she waited long enough, Lily would tell her something valuable. It worked.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't let you send that letter. You could tell and I could tell that he didn't want pity. He wanted honesty. Now he's chosen to let out his feelings and you have to do the same. I don't know quite what you're feelings are for or about him but i know that you need to do this in person. If he wanted to rag on you about not liking him, he would have done it via a howler. Not saying it to you in person in a semi-crowded common room. When he let out what he had to say, he said it to whoever cared. And that was you. You need to talk to him. One on one. I'll get James and Remus and Peter out of the boys' dormitory for you if you like, but you need to say what you need to say. Good luck." Lily got up and steered Pearl out of the door. I'll get them out now. They'll be gone in 20 minutes.

"Yes."

As Pearl left she started thinking about what Lily had said. He had talked to her now she had to do the same. She thought for a moment. She didn't know what do do with herself. She sank in to one of the couches for a moment and thought. She tried to recall a conersation that she'd overheard once.

"That's what the boys said. The pear. It giggles when you tickle it."

"Really? That's all you need to get to the kitchens?"

"Shhh! Lower you voice!" the speaker quieted breifly.

There was a pause where Pearl couldn't hear anything.

"... The portrait on th-...floor..."

She struggled for a minute more trying desperately to figure out what the boy had said regarding what floor the blasted portrait was on. She would ask Sirius...

"Well... time to bite the... uh.. bolt... I think.."

She stood still as James and Remus and Peter blearily stumbled down the stairs. Peter tripped on a hassok and stayed down. Remus walked over to one of the desks and lay his head down to go to sleep. James fell straight on to the couch.

Slowly she walked up the stairs...

A/N: whoooooo... cliffie!

Please review! I only got reviews from hyperpearlgirl who reall doesn't count seeing as she was my editor, and Scarlette who I to send a link to. But yay! I got two from Lady Luna Negra. Go Lady luna!