Disclaimer: Of course I don't own HP, don't you know JKR does? The Rasmus own 'In my life'
Summary: Set to 'In my life' by The Rasmus, Miriella tries to build up the courage over the years to tell Sev how she really feels, but in the end only news of his marriage to Wilwarin can spur her on to admit it...but what will he do?
Rating: T or PG
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Sev/Wil
AN: Ahh, when I read these lyrics, I knew they fit Miriella/Sev as it's been played out in the board. Or at least, if Miriella had ever decided to express her feelings openly to Sev, I think his reaction would be like this.
Thanks to Raquee for the song...:P
In advance, do NOT flame me for the way Severus acts toward Laurina (an OC) I am only simulating what is established in the RPG.
This is based on a forum RPG--linked in my bio.
Give it up
"Sir?"
The man turned toward the voice and had to suppress a scowl at the sight of the red-haired Slytherin. She was by far his least favorite Slytherin...he would not say she creeped him out--that would be un-Slytherin--but something about the young American witch always unsettled him.
"This had better be good, Miss Faelivrin. You do realize this is after curfew, don't you?" He sometimes wondered whether she were indeed oblivious to the rules.
The girl reddened slightly and nodded. "Yes, sir...but you...you forgot your wand."
He blinked. "What?"
I never forget my wand, that's not possible! He scowled and checked through his robes despite the girl's stuttered protests. To his utmost shock, he found that his wand was indeed missing.
"Here sir..." She mumbled, offering the wand as if it were some sort of sacred ornament.
He plucked up the wand and examined it a few moments, before turning to watch the girl. She stood with her head bowed and hands clasped behind her back, feet shifting slightly as she waited for some response. His mind raced for several seconds, searching for an excuse to blame her for stealing it--and turning around to give it back again--but he could not come up with a way she could have. Somehow, for the first time in his life, he had left his wand behind.
Very unsettling...but then, things like this always happened around the girl, unfortunate circumstances seemed to twist around and force him to spend an ungainly amount of time with the girl.
To his increasing annoyance, the girl was still standing, waiting.
"Dismissed." He snarled, sweeping down the hall away from the redhead.
Feel the heat below my feet
I have to go, no time to sleep
Can't believe the things you say
I turn my head and walk away
You make me sick - you make me nervous
Miriella dashed down the corridor toward her common room--the opposite direction the professor had went--and paused to catch her breath against the wall, catching her breath.
Her heart was pounding wildly against her chest from more than just her sprint. He did not seem to realize it, but when he had taken back his wand, he had actually touched her hand. She gave a faint smile as she looked up at the ceiling.
He had looked at her with such disgust and accustion, but then, his suspicions had been right...she had used a version of Accio as he was leaving the classroom to give herself an excuse to chase after him.
Of course, her plan had not gone completely through, she had not gotten the chance to say what she had planned--she could not help but freeze up when he looked at her--and he had not even thanked her. That last part was likely why her heart ached so much in her chest.
"I don't care..." She whispered, closing her eyes and gripping her with two fists as she leaned back against the wall. "I'll get him to realize he loves me as much as I do him...just wait..."
Times had gone when you would say
This is the one and seize the day
Times had gone for honesty
My victory is your defeat
Can't you see you've been mistaken
"Have you heard?" The blonde girl grinned at the others in the room. "Our Headmaster...he's going to be a father!" She laughed, "I never saw that one coming! I mean...the dungeon bat with a girl?"
"What?" The red haired girl snapped, glaring up at the girl. "Figure him for a taste in boys?"
The Italian girl shook her head slightly from the other side of the room, watching the girl with a sad frown. She almost felt sympathetic to the girl's plight...almost. If it wasn't so stupid.
How can she be infatuated with Snape of all people? How can Wilwarin, either? She shook her head. Crazy women.
The blonde blinked at the red-haired girl, completely unaware of what she was walking into. "Er, no...I just mean...he doesn't look like much of a stud-muffin to you, does he? I mean...greasy hair, hooked nose...he looks like some villain of a children's cartoon!"
"Oh, and I suppose you watch those all the time!" The redhead snarled, throwing the books she was reading to the floor and standing. "Well, Oriane?"
The blonde looked stunned. "I was just making an observation, Faelivrin...I don't know what--"
"What does a fourth year like you know about men!" Miriella hissed, drawing her wand.
Oh yes, she was in full freak-out mode. Kendra wondered idly if she should intervene for the fourth year, but discarded the thought...the fourth year needed to learn what was taboo somehow.
"There's no need for wands Faelivrin! Sheesh!" The girl frowned, drawing her own wand despite her protests.
"You will not insult our Head of House and Headmaster in my presance!" She growled, advancing on the student.
"I-I didn't insult him, I just-"
"GET. OUT. NOW!"
The girl didn't need to be told twice.
Kendra sighed as she watched the red-haired girl stare at the ceiling, visibly trembling. "Miriella..."
"Leave me alone!" She barked, glaring at the Italian a moment, before her gaze fell to the floor, shoulders shaking as she stared at the black carpet. "Just...leave me alone..."
In my life I decide and it turns me on,
How I am, how I live, who I love
In my way I've been strong and it turns my on
In my life, I decide, I decide
I decide
I decide
"Oh stop pouting, Severus!" The brunette grinned over her shoulder.
"I am not pouting!" He objected with a scowl.
"Yes you are." She frowned, smacking his chest lightly. "You're sulking because you didn't want me to announce 'us'."
"I thought you wanted to keep it quiet." He frowned. "I don't see why the school has to know."
"Severus, it's a happy celebration!" She insisted stubbornly, then pointed to her large stomach. "And it's starting to show, anyway--besides that, it's not like most of the school didn't already know!"
Judging from the looks of pure shock on the majority of the students' faces, that was a grossly incorrect assumption, but he did not bother to bring it up to the brunette witch, as he did not fancy another argument.
"Severus, you aren't listening to me." The witch, Laurina Wilwarin, pouted.
"Yes I am." He said, rolling his eyes, "And I am not spending the weekend at your parents' house."
"Severus!" She snapped, crossing her arms. "My mom deserves to know she's going to be a grandmother! I mean, Hogwartsknows now! Cissa knows!"
"Both of those were by your choice." He frowned. "Recall that I didn't want anyone to know."
"What is wrong with you, Severus?" She frowned, at the point of tears. "This is supposed to be a happy time, but you're just turning it into another argument!"
He made a disgusted noise. She always used tears when she wanted to manipulate him, and...it pretty much always worked...but not without a fight. Besides, he wasn't the one causing the argument! She was the one being unreasonable!
"In case it has slipped your mind, you are the one who's doing all the arguing!" He growled.
The woman glared up at him for several moments, tears swimming in her eyes, before her hand lanced up and slapped him across the face. "I hate you, Severus! I try to do something nice, and you always go and ruinit!"
"Laurina!" He called after her as she ran further into their room. "Laurina, stop!"
"Go to hell, Severus!" She shouted, glaring over her shoulder.
"Laurina..." He took a few steps forward and captured her lips in his own. "I'll spend the weekend at your mother's house."
She sighed, looking at the floor. "No...you're right, Severus...we shouldn't go...I don't want to guilt you into going..."
"You're not." He said firmly. "I want to go because I love you."
She smiled up at him. "I love you too, Severus...I'm sorry I slapped you..."
He shrugged slightly. "I'm sure you can make up for it."
She grinned up at him a moment, and pulled him down to kiss him. "I'm so glad I met you, Severus."
"So am I."
All you do you can't deny
It's waste of time, waste of life
Can I suggest that you invest
In something more than hopelessness
Before you know the ride is over
"You shouldn't stare so openly, you know." The dark-haired girl said softly.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Black." Miriella snarled over at the girl. It was extremely irritating how all her housemates called her love infatuation. It was not infatuation, why was it a girl could not love her teacher with out it being a silly crush!
Besides...who could resist staring as he walked...like he walked...and talked...well, like he talked! It was as if he were demanding the entire room to swoon with his every subtle glare, so what if she was the only one obeying the command?
She did not miss the hint of a smile that passed across his lips as he briefly touched on the subject of Arithmancy while lecturing. Some people might mistake it for his skepticism of the supposed 'fortune telling', but Miriella recognized the smile was for his girlfriend--who was the Professor of Arithmancy, and Head of Hufflepuff house.
She could feel the familiar prickling in the back of her eyes as she fought back tears watching him. She had hope...she still had hope. If he had waited this long, and still was not engaged to the woman--despite the fact that she was pregnant--he must be hesitant! He must not be sure he loved her completely...and Miriella would show him the small doubt he was finding in the back of his mind was because his true love was the red-haired Slytherin who had been quietly watching and supporting him from the very beginning.
She would force him to see the truth.
In my life I decide and it turns me on,
How I am, how I live, who I love
In my way I've been strong and it turns my on
In my life, I decide, I decide
"Sir?"
He rolled his eyes before turning around. Seeing the red-haired student looking up at him with that same expression gave him a bad case of deja-vu, and he unconsciously checked for his wand--no, it was still there.
"What?" He snapped irritably, not very keen on finding out what the was the latest in the bizzare occurances around this girl.
She flushed slightly, and looked at a nearby wall. The fact that she always refused to look him in the eyes unsettled him as well, it made him think she was hiding something from him, and he had half a mind to grab her chin and turn her back so he could see. However, he was wary of how the unstable girl might react to something quite that abrupt.
"Miss Faelivrin, once again you try my patience with your shuffling." He growled. "Stop dilly-dallying like a Hufflepuff, and tell me what you want!"
A flicker of surprise flashed across the girl's face--as if perhaps she had forgotten where she was, and she turned to face him, still not quite meeting his eyes...which annoyed him to no end.
"It's just...Longbottom's cauldron exploded when he fouled up 'Evanesco', and the Potions classroom is splattered everywhere with Acid-Boil potion--and I think a few students might have been hit, as well.
He only just suppressed a groan--only just. Once again a bizzare thing that prevented him from retreating to the plesant darkness of his quarters, and the equally plesant company of his girlfriend and future children.
"Well then hurry up and get Madame Pomfrey!" He growled, waving at her, and storming off into the Potions class.
---
Despite his coldness, she could not help grinning as she ran to fetch Madame Pomfrey, she had only to nudge Neville Longbottom slightly for him to ruin his spell, and there was no chance he would have guessed it was her, because he had been so nervous of messing it up he was completely consumed in casting the spell.
It was worth the trip to fetch Poppy to have a few more moments with him...she had failed again in telling him what she wanted to...it was a good thing she always prepared a fall back plan.
Her heart was aching again as she ran, torn between elation at the look that passed across his eyes a moment--she was sure he had considered taking her face in his hands and...and...well something--and the cold pain of his blatant annoyance at her presence.
How can he like the presence of that...that...HUFFLEPUFF, more than me?
It's up to you if you give it up
It's up to you if you won't stop
It's up to you if you give it up
It's up to you if you won't stop
"Miriella...listen to me." The overweight boy frowned. "Just give up already...for your own good."
"What are you talking about?" The redhead growled irritably.
He sighed, despite the fact that they were cousins, she still refused to admit to him her feelings to the Head of House. He'd even offered once to tell the Head himself--something he immediately regretted when she hexed him.
He almost wondered if she was in denial...except he had seen her a few times before, when she thought she was no one around, pining after the Potions Master. He did feel sorry for her, but he was torn between his friendship with Snape--he looked to him almost as a father--and his kinship with Miriella.
If only she could choose someone else to fall for, someone I could help her with...
"Miri..." He sighed again. "I was talking with Snape..."
"That's Professor Snape, or Our Head of House, or Headmaster." She corrected with a frown.
"Whatever." He waved her off. "What's important, is that he confided in me that he's planning on popping the question--he's planning on asking Wilwarin to marry him."
Once again, he immediately regretted speaking, as he saw the purely heartbroken look flash across the red-haired girl's face, before she smoothed her expression into cold neutrality.
"I'm sorry, Miri--"
"For what?" She said, a cold bitterness unmistakable in her voice, her words almost cracked, as if she were feircely fighting back tears with all of her Slytherin and American pride. "He's not my business."
"Miri..." He said cautiously, reaching out to touch her shoulder.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" She screamed, jerking away from his touch, and running from the room.
"Miriella!"
It's up to you if you give it up, give it up
It's up to you if you won't stop
It's up to you if you give it up, give it up
It's up to you
It's up to you...
He drummed his fingers on his desk determinedly, fighting back nervousness. There was no reason to be worried like this...it was only logical to do this...he was going to be a father in only a little bit, and he was completely in love with the mother of the children, was he not? Of course he was, so there was no reason to be nervous!
None at all...
He swallowed softly, and stood as he heard a knock on the door. He hid the small box quickly before speaking. "Enter."
To his dismay, the one who entered was not Laurina--although that was unlikely from the start, since the woman had never known the virtue of knocking--but the red-haired student who he did not seem able to escape lately.
"Miss Faelivrin..." He said, voice dripping with contempt. "What could possibly motivate you to bother me now?"
The girl flushed deeply--honestly, he had never seen a Slytherin blush like that, and the deja vu was getting annoying.
"Just my homework, sir?"
"And why are you not waiting until class like every other student in this school?"
The girl blinked. "Be-because I won't be here on that day."
He arched an eyebrow, he was torn between the relief he felt at the thought that the strange girl would finally not be in his class--if only for a day--and his hatred of students skipping class. "Why, Miss Faelivrin?"
"Family emergency..." She said in an almost mouse-like voice. "I won't be here for a day or two."
He frowned. "Fine, give it to me."
She nodded and hurried to put the pile of parchment on the desk, and then stood looking at the floor, waiting.
"Dismissed!" He snapped, jerking his hand toward the door.
The girl jumped slightly, and raced out of the room. Merlin, she was annoying.
However, the bright side of all of this, was that he was no longer nervous about the ring. He almost wanted to go after her and thank her.
The record shows that you're dead but you're still living
Every time you have died you have been given
Another chance to fix your bad attitude
And make a move, it's up to you
She sighed as she leaned against the corridor wall. She was running out of time...she should just say it...what was the worst he could do?
Well...expel me for one.
She almost wanted to cry. Scratch that, she did want to cry. However, this was neither the time, nor the place for it, she needed to make a plan, she needed to tell him.
I wish I had a Gryffindor's courage...
Sighing, she pushed away from the wall, and turned a corner. Or, tried to, anyway, she smacked right into someone walking quickly down the neighboring corridor.
"Miss Faelivrin?" The voice held a mixture of surprise and something bordering on anger. "What are you doing here?"
She looked up sheepishly at the man standing before her, her Headmaster, her Head of House, the man of her dreams. Just seeing his eyes smoldering with emotions as he looked down at her caused heat to rise up her neck, and she looked away quickly.
He gave a disgusted sigh. "What are you doing here, Faelivrin?"
"I--I was looking for something..." She stuttered.
"What?"
"Doesn't matter--found it!" She smiled nervously at his chin.
"Then what are you still here for?"
"I..." She trailed off slightly. He was standing there waiting, eyebrow arched in that way he always did...waiting...she could tell him now...she could admit it...
"Faelivrin?" He said cooly. "Is there something else you're here for?"
Tell him...just tell him...you can always blame it on emotions from your family if it doesn't work!
Her mouth would not open.
Tell him! Please tell him, or you'll lose him forever!
She could feel tears trying to well up, but fear still froze her tongue.
The few seconds she stared at him seemed to stretch on an eternity, but when she finally forced herself to speak, the words that came out were not the ones she wanted.
"No...sir..."
He gave a huff. "Then I suggest you return to your family, don't you think?"
She only nodded, willing herself not to scream at herself for being such a coward.
The man paused a few seconds longer, as if waiting for her to speak, before giving a growl, and sweeping down the hall. The moment he was out of ear and eyeshot, she collapsed to her knees in tears.
"I hate you, Miriella...I hate you..." She whispered softly.
It's up to you if we give it up, give it up
It's up to you if we give it up, give it up
It's up to you
It's up to you
YOU...
He frowned as he waited for the love of his life to leave the shower. He had been certain for a few moments when he last ran into the Slytherin Miriella, that he was about to get the truth out of her...but nothing.
He shook his head, remembering it twisted his stomach like every other time he thought of his unsettling encounters with the girl. She was just...odd...he could not explain why she unsettled him so, but he did not like it, not at all.
Fortunately, the entrance of his soon-to-be fiancee dressed in only a towel distracted him from his thoughts of the Slytherin, and he did not have to further study why exactly she unsettled him.
"Severus!" She said grinning. "What a plesant surprise! What are you doing here?"
"I can't visit the mother of my children without an excuse anymore?" He asked with a cool smirk.
She smiled at him. "Of course you can, but I know that look of concentration!" She walked up and hugged him. "Remember, I know everything about you!"
He rolled his eyes. "Of course, Laurina."
"So then." She said, still smiling--though now it had a hint of forced-ness to it. "What is it?"
There were those bloody jitters again, he should have stopped by Narcissa and asked her if being a Charms Professor meant she had any anti-jitter charms...but that would have meant her asking why...and he did not feel like having everyone know about this particular thing quite yet.
"Severus, what is it?" She said, now slightly annoyed.
"Laurina..." He sighed. Oh, to Azkaban with it! Determinedly, he fished out the small ring box, and pressed it into her hands. "I want you to marry me."
She stared in shock several moments, blinking in silence. His nervousness was not helped by this at all.
"I mean...I could care for the kids better that way..." He mumbled.
"Severus..." She said, a soft frown on her face. "Are you marrying me simply because I am carrying your children?"
"No!" He said, shaking his head. "I...I want to because I love you!"
She gave him that breathtaking, sparkling grin she had, and jumped up to kiss him.
--
"Don't talk to me, Vincent."
She tried to hold back a smug smirk as she watched the redhead. Oh yeah, this is such karma! She so deserves this!
"Miriella..." The overweight fake 'Malfoy'--he was really a Crabbe, but he managed to get 'adopted' by the Malfoys--tried again.
"Don't bother." The girl, Pansy Parkinson, said smugly. "She wants to sulk because Snape is shagging Wilwarin instead of her."
"I am not sulking!" Miriella snapped, smacking her hand on the nightstand hard enough to crack the wood. "I just don't care about what the Headmaster is doing! Stop bothering me about it!"
"Oh, yah right!" Pansy snorted. "You're just jealous of Wilwarin and you know it!"
"I am not JEALOUS!" She screamed, glaring at the girl with blazing sea green eyes.
She snorted. "Yeah, and I'm secretly in love with a Hufflepuff."
"I'm this close to hexing you, Parkinson!" Miriella snorted.
"Bring it on, you weakling!"
"STOP IT!" Vincent yelled, throwing out his hands.
"Get out of our way, Crabbe." Pansy snarled.
"No!" The overweight boy insisted. "No one is going to hex anyone!"
"And why not?"
"Because Transfiguration class is next, and you don't want to be late for Professor Moody's class!"
Give it up
Give it up
It was time...it was finally time...yet he still had those irritating jitters! Worst of all, he was already standing on the altar, there was no turnign back from here...and that was the worst part.
Laurina's smile simultaniously comforted him, and made him nervous...he could not imagine himself with anyone else...he could not imagine himself without her period. Yet...was this the best thing? What would the Dark Lord do when he found out?
He gave a mental shake of his head. Nonsense, if I marry her she won't be in any more danger than if I stay with her and my children unmarried. His children were as yet unborn, but judging from the way the dress fit his brunette witch--or rather did not fit her--they would not remain that way for long.
He was just about to complain the minister was droning on too long, when a familiar phrase caught his ear.
"If anyone has any objections, speak now, or forever hold your peace."
A thousand scenarios ran through his mind in the few seconds of silence that seemed to stretch forever after the minister's words...Laurina's family screaming that he was too old, Ministry workers bursting in announcing she could not marry a Death Eater, Death Eaters bursting in and attacking them all...and many others progressively darker.
However, the seconds stretched by and finally passed by in silence, and he released a breath he had not realized he had been holding. Laurina released a similar breath simultaniously, and gave him a wry smirk.
"Very well." The Minister said cooly. "If you would repeat after me, Severus Snape--"
"STOP!"
His mind froze. He knew that voice...but it could not be...what could she want? How had she even gotten here?
However, as he turned his gaze to follow the one of utmost fury and hatred of his fiancee, his eyes met sea green ones. He almost blinked in surprise when he realized she was no longer flinching away, and he might have if he were not so furious.
"What could possibly be important enough to interrupt a wedding, Faelivrin!"
Her eyes were wide and swimming with tears as she fought for breath. "You...you can't marry her!"
"Why?" He asked with a growl, irritation and anger growing with every second she delayed what would undoubtedly make him happy.
"Because she doesn't love you!" She insisted, pointing at Laurina.
"What?" Laurina snapped, expression clearly showing that she wished she had carried a wand in her wedding dress.
"Explain yourself, Faelivrin." He said, humoring her only because there were so many witnesses--albeit many of whom looked ready to Avada her as well.
"She only just met you!" The red-haired girl looked on the point of collapse, tears streaming down her face. "She's only 'loved' you since you've had something for her! Where was she when you were looked upon as the worthless scum professor?"
He narrowed his eyes slightly. Since when was he considered that?
"It's not my fault I only met him recently!" Laurina growled. "I love him with everything in me!"
"You love his power!" She snarled. "You're no better than a whore! You come out of nowhere and snuggle up to him as soon as you find out he is Deputy Headmaster! You hated him until then!"
"It might have looked like that to a child like you--" Laurina started, but cut off when the red-haired girl drew her wand.
"I AM NOT A CHILD!" She screamed.
"Say you are telling the truth..." Laurina said with a cold contempt in her voice, ignoring the girl's last statement, "What in the world would it matter to you for? Are you his mother or guardian angel or something?"
Her lower lip trembled slightly as she shook her head. Her eyes fell to the floor a moment, and Severus felt that familiar discomfort at the thought that she was hiding something again...
Sea green eyes shone with determination as she looked back up directly into his eyes. "Because...I love you."
He stared in shocked silence at her for several moments, as his mind churned to process the information...A thousand thoughts and emotions turned and roiled within him, as he stared at the redhead with an all-but vacant mind.
Give it up
Give it up
She had decided not to go to the wedding, it would be too painful, and who knew what she would say if she were there. Except...that was exactly why she was running full-board through the chapel to the wedding hall.
She could not give up yet...not yet. Not yet...
When she burst in it was too late for the 'speak now', but that would have been cliche, anyway. Her voice sounded foreign in her own ears as she yelled out across the hall, and she watched almost as a third person as the entire room turned toward her with varying shades of shock and fury on their features.
She wanted to flinch away from the look of pure fury on the Potions Master's face...and the look of undisguised hatred etched deep into Wilwarin's face made her want to draw her wand in self defence.
But she could not...she had to tell him, she would not be able to live with herself if she let him slip through her fingers, if not Gryffindor courage, then desperation could spur her on.
To a flicker of hope, he seemed to be listening to her, his expression softened a great deal when she finally admitted her feelings for him, making her wish she had told him earlier...like where they could be alone.
"Faelivrin..." He said slowly, his voice for once almost soft. "I can not deny what you say..."
"Severus!" The Arithmancy teacher snapped, glaring at him.
"Wait a moment, Laurina." He said, waving her off. "I cannot deny what you say, and I won't try to."
A desperate hope surged in her chest, and she swallowed hopefully, voice pathetically desperate. "You believe me...?"
He nodded slightly. "However, it doesn't matter anymore."
She blinked. "But..."
The man's expression darkened again. "I don't know when you got the idea that my life has anything to do with you, Faelivrin, but I will decide for myself how I live it, and who I love."
She swallowed nervously, tears blurring her vision. "But I've always..."
He scowled at her. "Isn't it a shame you never said anything before, then? Perhaps I would have been more receptive to your message."
"But..." Her voice was failing her, the world was spinning out of control aroung her, and she felt sick. "But I thought...I..."
"Is there anything else, Faelivrin?" Snape growled coldly.
"Yes, sir..." She said numbly, voice barely audible. "Peeves was destroying some tapestries in the Entrance Hall..."
Feeling like a young child, she turned and raced out of the wedding hall, missing the look of dumbfounded shock that appeared on Snape's face as she left.
Give it up
He was not sure his system could take many more shocks this day, it had been on edge as it was.
Her comment about Peeves instantly clicked in his mind even before the look of tormented heartbreak marred her features, and she raced out of the room, a thousand deja vu occurances from as far back as her second year surfaced in his mind. It all began to make sense now...the bizzare occurances that forced her to run up to him alone and speak to him after class...the absurd blushing and avoidance of eye contact...
All the stupidly annoying events had been excuses for her to try to tell him, but she had always lost her nerve...there was a small part of him that felt a swell of pity for the girl at the realization.
But...it's too late He turned to the woman who was looking at him with a cautiously optimistic smile. Maybe if she had spoken before...but not anymore...
Give it up
She slid into a corner far away from the chapel, sobbing. There was nothing more to do. It was all her fault, he would be marrying a woman who did not love him, and whom he could not truly love, and it was all because she had been such a coward.
The girl gave full-throated sobs as she curled tighter into a ball, either to protect against the torrential rain, or to shield from an invisible enemy even she was unsure.
The world was shattering and falling into a million tiny peices around her, mingling with the rain to shred her sould with a thousand miniscule slices...nothing mattered anymore.
"I'm so sorry..." She whispered to the rain. "I never meant to hurt him...I only wanted him to be happy...that's all I wanted...to see him smile without the weight of the scars all of the horrible people gave him."
She gave another broken sob, smiling up at the sky. "But do you think...he would have loved me if not for her?"
She gave a small sob and leaned her head back against the wall with a bitter smile. "I know he would...I know it."
She could have sworn she heard a 'yes' whispered on the wind.
Give it up
AN: Most probably my longest one-shot...but it's a long song! What do you think? Again, Sev/Wil fans are probably not going to be nice to Miri...VV But I put them together, you know!
I hope I put it mostly accurate to merlinsaid 'cannon'...
-Yusagi Sombermoon