"Man on the Side" part 5
Author's Note: So It's been a year and half since I updated this which is horrible to say the least. I'm sorry about that. Please enjoy this part, and bare with me as I will try to update regularly
I'm sweaty and thrusting and enjoying myself. Right now I really am Ryan Atwood, Man of Smiles. I roll off of Theresa and lay next to her breathing hard and am content. I know on my drive back to the Cohen's I'll realize what I've done but until then I'm going to enjoy the physical pleasure I just experienced. I forgot what it was like to have rough, Chino sex. I miss it.
"Ry, why did you call me? Really why?" Theresa asks me as she runs her hand down my bare chest. "Is a life with all those rich people who are nice to you really that bad?"
As I look down at her I realize we are no longer in the same place. Her life and my life are no longer intertwined, and I just used my best friend. Well former best friend, but still Theresa is special to me.
I don't feel any better. In fact I feel worse if that is possible. Not only am I pining after Summer, but I have the guilt of my afternoon with Theresa to deal with. I guess I need answer her though so I smile my half smile hoping that will lessen the blow just a little. I know she is crazy about my smile. She used to tell me it was because I hardly ever smiled so when I did it was that much more special. She likes my bangs too so I don't cringe when she plays with my hair. I'll let her if it makes her feel better. Back in Chino we used to sleep together for comfort, but I'm not in Chino anymore and it is no longer ok.
"I guess I was just lonely. I missed you and the life I knew before." I make eye contact with her hoping she'll believe me and not ask for details. Maybe she will know that is all I can offer her. Maybe she will understand.
"That's crap, Ryan, and you know it. You had a shitty life in Chino. Why would you miss it when you live in this fairytale world now?"
Crap. She didn't buy it, and she doesn't understand. Instead she oozes with jealousy and lack of understanding, and suddenly I hate her. I don't actually dislike her I don't think. I just can't stand to be with her and have her not understand. She can't relate to me anymore and once again I am reminded that we are from different worlds now.
"I don't know. I don't know, Theresa. I just needed to see you."
Suddenly her demeanor changes. She stops rubbing my chest and her eyes turn cold, and I have a sneaking suspicion that she knows. I am proven right when she sits up and pulls away, careful to cover her naked body up with the sheets. She continues to glare at me as she leans over the bed so she can grab her clothes.
"Get out, Ryan. Get out." She doesn't yell it. She just states it coldly and unattached. She shakily puts her shirt on and mutters under her breath and about how she can't believe she was stupid enough to meet up with me.
I get up like she asked and begin to put my pants on, buckling my belt. I put my shirt on over my head and grab my wallet from the bed side table. I start to head to the door when suddenly she speaks up.
"Ryan, not everyone is as strong as you. Knowing you just used me now kills me."
At that exact moment, she is so honest with me. I wish I could be that honest with her, but I'm not. I just walk out of the room and don't say anything. I walk fast and don't turn around. Once in the lobby of the hotel, I check out and pay for the room. I grab the rover keys and briskly make my way to the car. Once in the car, I put the car in reverse and speed out of the parking lot. I grab my pack of Marlboro lights from the glove compartment and quickly light up a cigarette. I need to be calm and forget everything that is horribly wrong with me and my life.
I didn't think this day could get worse, but apparently I was wrong. I park the car in the driveway and enter the mansion I call home only to be greeted by her familiar laughter. Wearily, I lean my head against the wall and take a few deep breaths trying to collect myself before I have to face her and him and them together.
"Oh hey buddy! Where were you? You were MIA this afternoon, and I was really starting to wonder if you were captured by pirates or something because I thought we were going to play some video games after school, and then you weren't here and Summer had a meeting after school and I thought I was going to have to entertain myself which really sucks. So ya where were you?"
I don't answer him. I just grunt walk past them into the kitchen. Opening the cupboard, I get out the Captain Crunch and stuff a handful into my mouth. That was my mistake. I should have just gone straight out to the pool house and made up some excuse, any excuse, to avoid them. Instead I was in the kitchen, and a few minutes later so we re they. They were holding hands, and Seth whispered something into her ear. It made her giggle and me frown.
How I could ever think that sleeping with Theresa was going to make things better is completely foreign to me now. I look up at them just in time to see them exchange a few short kisses. Though they are mere pecks, they seem to last forever. Suddenly everything is clear to me. They are acting more physical than they usually do in front of people. It is probably because they made up from that fight last night and are on especially good terms, but to me it feels like punishment for using Theresa, and I know I deserve to watch every agonizing minute of it.
TBC