Lily and James: Their Summer of Love

WARNING: I WILL HAVE TO DELETE CHAPTER 12! IT IS AN AUTHORS NOTE WHICH IS CLEARLY NOT ALLOWED. SO AFTER THIS CHAPTER IS OUT FOR A WHILE I WILL DELETE IT SO THIS CHAPTER WILL BECOME 12 AND THE NEXT WILL BE 13! JUST NOTE THAT!

Authors Note: Hey yall. Before I start: I would just like to ask everyone a HUGE favor! As much as I love your reviews and am SO happy you all are as excited as I am to get the next chapter up—remember that I need time to think it out, write it, edit it, probably rewrite it and get it up. Also I don't have a beta so I have to read it over and fix everything myself. So PLEASE don't get TOO anxious if I don't get it up in under 5 days to a week. I want to be able to give you a chapter that is my best and one that fits in with the rest of the story that I have already pre-planned and it's sequel. Yes, I am still planning on doing a sequel. So I hope you all enjoy this one and think it is worth the wait!

xoxoxo

Riley

Disclaimer: Nope, my initials are R.A.C. not J.K.R...

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Chapter 12: The diary, Lily, and James.

James bit his lip. He couldn't go through her diary...well he shouldn't at any rate.

Running a hand through his now dry, and always messy hair, he fought to stop the curiosity that was bubbling inside him.

Casting a glance first at the diary, then at the bathroom door and back again, he finally, quietly and cautiously, walked to Lily's bed and slowly sat down.

His fingers tingling with excitement, (and possibly dread) he knew that he might not like what he saw on the pages she had written in. He had a hunch that he knew something of what was written in there. With shaking hands, he lifted the diary so he could read the words.

What he saw hurt worse than when she had smacked him. The ink was smudged—with tears. He had caused her to cry even more. He had caused her pain.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, he closed his eyes for a moment, before opening them again and looking back at the book.

James silently cursed himself as he began reading. Cheating. She'd called what he did cheating. Of course that was what it was but he hadn't thought of it like that before. He was a cheater. He had never once cheated on any of his girlfriends and had never meant to start with Lily.

Continuing down the page, he couldn't help but grin as he read a few sentences.

'Sarah. Bloody. Jordan. That's right. That self-centered, effing slut!'

It might sound odd, but he was actually quite proud of Lily for punching her. That was the first time she'd actually physically harmed someone—well, with the exception of him and Sirius. And, to be honest—it was a nice punch. The bitch deserved it anyways. Skipping a few lines, James read on.

'I don't care if her stupid father sues or whatever,' James vaguely wondered what 'sue' meant. 'He can go down to hell with her. The bitch deserved it.'

'Ha.' he thought grinning. 'Great minds think alike..'

The smile melted off his face, as he turned the page back over to read the lines he skipped.

'I came out and they were practically shagging on the damn table!'

James let out a loud sigh, as he rumpled his hair. Damn. It must have looked pretty bad. The way she described how she saw it—well, he would have dumped him too! No wonder she hated his guts.

'I wanted that kiss so bad, but it hurt that he still made me feel this way after he broke my heart. It was like my whole body hurt..'

His heart panged with guilt and hurt, as he read on.

'He told me he was sorry and that he loved me. Like that was supposed to fix everything. How could he lie to my face? You don't snog someone when you love someone else'

How could she think that he'd lied about that to her? He had never told a girl he'd loved her. Not once. He would not lie about that. Especially not to her.

'I told him I didn't love him and that he messed it all up. It was a lie. I do love him.'

James' heart soared. She loved him? After everything he'd done to her? How? Why? His heart suddenly sunk again. It didn't matter that she loved him. She wouldn't take him back. Lily would always think that there was a chance he would do it again.

'I've come to a conclusion—I'll ignore him. I'll simply ignore the fact that a James Potter exists.'

James closed the book and cradled his head in his hands, silent tears threatening to fall.

"Lily I'm sorry..." he whispered into his hands, not caring that she wasn't in the room. "I love you...I didn't mean to hurt you...God, I'm sorry.." he mumbled over and over, and gasped when he felt a warm, small hand touch his shoulder.

Whipping around quickly, he was met by the sigh of Lily Evans—red hair soaked, now dull emerald eyes pained and—in nothing but a towel.

James forced himself to keep his eyes on her face, and not on her exposed calves or the water droplets that were sliding off her arms. Or for that matter any inappropriate fantasies he'd had about what might be under that towel.

"L-Lily—" he breathed, now shocked that he'd been caught going through her diary. But she didn't look mad—just sad and hurt.

"James, I need you to get out." she whispered softly. He could see her eyes filling with tears as she spoke.

"Lily, please!" he pleaded. He knew it was no use. He had to do something though.

Reaching out carefully he touched her hand softly. She flinched and pulled it out of his grasp.

Defeated, he stood up. "I love you Lily." he whispered, before walking towards the still opened door.

"Stay where you are—you aren't going anywhere!"

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Lily sighed as she stepped out of the bath and wrapped a towel around her. Her eyes were less puffy and she certainly felt a lot better.

Taking a deep breath she opened the door—and froze.

"Lily I'm sorry "I love you...I didn't mean to hurt you...God, I'm sorry.."

It was James...sitting on her bed...with her diary...and he seemed to be crying? Hurt rose inside her once more and tears formed in her tired eyes.

Softly walking towards him, she placed a hand on his shoulder. She had to get him to leave. He gasped and quickly turned around.

She wasn't worried about the fact that she was only in a towel in front of a 17 year old boy. She just couldn't look at him without hurting.

"L-Lily?"

His voice broke.

"James...I need you to get out." she said, as calmly as she could. She didn't want to see him. She didn't want to feel like this anymore.

"Please, Lily!" he cried out softly.

He reached out and touched her hand. Jerking back as if his touch burned her, she stepped away from him.

James then stood up, and with his head hanging low, began walking out of the room.

"Stay where you are—you aren't going anywhere!"

Hmm...Remus and Payton were back.

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Authors Note: Hey yall! I hope everyone liked this chapter okay. It wasn't one of my favorites cause it was pretty sad and short(and there was no S/R in it :P) but anyways I had to put it in there. I'm having second thoughts about ending this so soon. It's my baby! But I know I'll have to, to start my sequel...that'll be good too! I promise! Also a special thanks to James'-gurl7492 for giving me some ideas, they helped a lot and I DID use some of them! Thanks a lot hunn! Any also—I just felt the need to say thank you to greengrl. She has reviewed on every one of my chapters since the very beginning and its meant tuns to me! I love you!

xoxoxo

Riley