Kingdom Hearts: Know Your Stars!
Riku the Ooompa Loompa
Author's Note:
Like I promised, everyone's favorite bishie! The chapter title says it all ... Enjoy!
Riku stepped onto the stage and sat on the stool placed in the center of the stage with an arrogant air of confidence. After seeing what had happened to Kairi and Sora, he was determined to beat the voice once and for all.
"Know you stars, know your stars, know your stars …" was heard on the stage as the lights faded blue and a spotlight was shone on the silver haired bishie. "Riku … he puts on tights and a bed sheet and pretends to be Danny Phantom …"
"WTF? I do not! You lie!"
"Then why do I have a picture of some kid that has hair the same color as you?"
"I don't know!"
"Whatever … Riku, he is having a secret affair with Ansem …"
"What? I am not! Ansem is an evil freak!" Riku yelled at the voice and barely missed the Dark Firaga spell that went whizzing past his head. "HEY!" he yelled backstage where Ansem was looking around inconspicuously.
"I didn't do it …" Ansem said, looking at the ceiling.
"Riku, he frenched Cloud … and we have witnesses!"
"I did not! I don't even like Cloud!" Riku screamed as a giant sword and a gunblade flew past his head.
"Riku … people like throwing things at him …"
"NO THANKS TO YOU!"
"Don't you raise your voice at me, young man!"
"I'm not five! You can't tell me what to do! I'm older than you!"
"Yeah, right … this coming from the kid who makes Ed Elric look tall …"
"HEY!" Riku and Ed yelled at the same time.
The voice sniggered. "Riku … he was in an Herbal Essences commercial …"
"What? I was not! Those shampoo wearing freaks can go to hell!"
" Don't insult the shampoo people, you're just jealous that they have better jobs than you," the voice said, while Riku glared. "Riku … he's an Oompa Loompa in disguise …"
"What the hell is an Oompa Loompa?"
"Geeze, Riku doesn't even know what his own species is … so sad … WHEEEEEE!"
"I'm not an Oomfa Loofa!"
"Oompa Loompa," the voice corrected.
"Whatever!"
"Riku … he is afraid of the Trix Rabbit and Lucky the Leprechaun …"
"I am not! Those cereal freaks are just stupid!"
"Then why don't you ever buy their cereal?"
"Because I don't like cereal!"
"And that's because you don't like the Rabbit and the Leprechaun."
"Exactly- Hey, what a second! You tricked me!"
"I did not! Riku ... he's coo coo for Cocoa Puffs!"
"I am not! You freak!"
"No I'mnot! Riku … he is a replica and the real one is hiding in the shadows plotting his demise …"
"I'M THE REAL RIKU!"
"Then why aren't you in the shadows plotting your demise?"
"That makes no sense!"
"Or maybe you just don't get it … Riku, he wishes he was sexy like the real Riku …"
"I am sexy! And I'm the real Riku!"
"Well, why don't you take off your shirt and show us?"
"Fine! I will!" Riku replied heatedly, while taking off his shirt. All the Riku fangirls faint.
"Okay, maybe he is sexy … Watch out for Sora …"
"What?" Riku asked confused, but realized too late when he felt Sora glomp him.
"Riku is soooo hot!" Sora cooed, starry eyed.
"Sora, why are you on me?"
"Because the "voice" told me that if I glomped you, it would let me have Mr. Pudding Pants," Sora replied simply.
"Why are you obsessed with my teddy bear?"
"Ummm … because?"
"Well, nobody is getting my teddy!"
"Aww," Sora replied, getting off of Riku.
"Riku … he doesn't like his best friend …"
"I do too! I'm always nice to Sora!"
"Then why don't you give him your teddy bear?"
"Because it's mine!"
"Riku … he wants to be a bunny named Master Boo …"
"I DO NOT! I – "
"Oh, hey Sora! Here's the teddy bear, just like I promised!"
"Yays! Mr. Pudding Pants!" Sora squealed in the projection room.
"NO! MR. PUDDING PANTS!" Riku yelled, running off stage to reclaim his teddy bear.
"Now you know Riku, the sexy Oompa Loompa in disguise …"
Insane Author:
Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!