Tropical Nightmare- Chapter 22: Kitchen talk (Gibbs´ POV)

Disclaimer: I don´t own any characters or anything!

Summary: Tony and Kate are sent to Argentina for an undercover mission, but they have to take a detour.They are bound to find out that atropical island can be a real nightmare -at least if you´re on your own out there...

Additional note: I usually don´t write 1st-person narrator, but it seemed to fit rather well for this little story as the POV changes with each chapter.Also, the use of present-tense is wanted here, eventhough it may seem a bit odd. I hope it´s still readable.

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I look into Abby´s green eyes. She´s surprised to see me, that´s for sure. I don´t know whom she was expecting to come by at such a time, but I don´t really care right now. I walk in without waiting for her to stand aside. The look on her face hardens as I push her out of the way and look around. "Where is she?" I demand and walk towards the door I know is leading to the bedroom. I almost reach it, but then there´s something holding me back.

I turn around and see Abby holding my arm, fire burning in her eyes. I didn´t expect this reaction and don´t try to fight her when she pulls me into the kitchen. "Listen up, boss-man. I know you´re probably going to be pissed off anyway, so put it off for a minute and let me finish what I got to say." She starts out, her voice low, but full of what I believe is anger, but I´m not completely sure. I´m taken aback by this and can´t bring out a word. "Tony called me up tonight, talking me into keeping an eye on Kate, ´cause she´s been released today and he got a date with his mom. I haven´t finished my work at the lab, I haven´t had time to pick up any clothes, I haven´t eaten since breakfast and I´m definetely not going to let you run in there and wake her up. If she pissed you off for some reason, it´s between the two of you all right, but she needs to sleep now and whatever you´ve been thinking to do, you´ll have to put off until some time later. All I know is that she looks like the walking dead and that she needs time to rest. She doesn´t need you telling her off for whatever she did or getting yelled at or anything. She almost died, you know, and she´s not up for a yell-fight with you."

I feel my face grow hot while I listen to her. My heartbeat returns to normal while she is still glaring at me. I realize how much truth there is in her words and I feel embarrassed. Suddenly I don´t remember what made me storm into the apartment like a maniac, I don´t remember why I ignored her calls, I don´t remember why I behaved like such a moron for the last week. I feel my hands shaking. Without even thinking about it, I sit down on the kitchen floor and put my head into my hands. I can´t hold back the tears, but I don´t think I really try to anyway. I feel like crap and I know I deserve this.

It´s silent for a few second, then I feel a hand on my arm. "Gibbs... I´m sorry... I didn´t mean to bite your head off like that. C´mon, boss-man, say something... Yell at me, give me hell, but say something, please." I hear Abby say. She sounds shocked. I´ve never seen her take on anyone like she justdid and it´s a side of her I rather not see again any time soon.

I raise my head and look at her. She´s kneeling next to me, tears in her eyes. I reach out and wipe a tear off her face. "I´m so sorry, Abbs. You´re right, I´ve behaved like an idiot." Her mouth opens, but she doesn´t say anything. "I wanted to help her, but she pushed me back and I decided to act like a spoiled child and sulk." I tell her and try to smile.

We still sit on the floor in Kate´s kitchen and talk. I don´t know what time it is, but that doesn´t matter now. We´ve gone over almost the last half year now, looking back at what happened, what changed and why. I´ve never talked to Abby that long. She´s a different person at work somehow, but I realize that all of us are. We´ve grown accustomed to the person we see at work, but we don´t know who they really are until we see them outside the office. I don´t move for several more minutes and try to sort my thoughts. Abby left already, I told her to go, since she´s been having a bad day at work and needs some time to herself.

It´s after midnight and I´m sitting on a dusty kitchen floor. I pulled a gun on an innocent guard at the hospital today. I almost went after everyone´s throat during the last days and I almost lost a friend. Maybe this is just one of those days, but I feel like my whole world is changing into something different. I try to picture myself walking into the bullpen tomorrow, barking my orders at Dinozzo and McGee, but I´m not sure if I can do that anymore. I try to see myself processing a crime scene with the team, assigning jobs to them, keeping everything in mind, but I´m not sure if I still can. I wonder what has changed me so much. I get is the feeling that the walls around my emotional, feeling, even caring self, have been torn down all the sudden. I have kept them to keep myself from being harmed by my feelings, but lately, they have been more of a burden than anything else.

I get up again and help myself to a glass of water. I don´t think I could stand coffee right now. I walk into the livingroom and look out of the window. It´s late and there are no other lights on this block. I consider calling Ducky, but it´s too late already. I consider calling in sick for the next day, but I don´t think it would solve things. I straighten myself and walk to the bedroom door. It opens without a sound and I feel a smile on my face when I see her. She´s sleeping peacefully, like nothing ever happened. Only her pale face and the scar on her head tell what really happened.