(((((KYMORA)))))
My heart is breaking. Baralai is still in bed, where he'll sleep of last night. I have to act quickly.
I head towards the door with my small purse of Gil and quietly lock it behind me. I have about 2 hours to get some Sphere cameras and install them in hidden places. I want Baralai to know what he's like when he drinks…. Maybe he'll get help. I really hope he will.
When I'm done installing the cameras, I'll leave again. Baralai thinks I'm working in the Desert today.
My Machina bike sits near the front walk and I drive it into town, to the Machine Shop.
(((((MYRAN)))))
As she leaves the house, I wait to make sure she's gone, then let myself in the back door. Baralai is waiting for me in the bedroom, and I immediately fall into his arms.
"Don't worry, my Myran. She'll be in that Desert all day, hunting for treasure. She has no idea what goes on here while she's gone" Baralai said as he leaned in to kiss me.
I kiss him back, and soon we are both naked, pressing against each other, kissing… He moans my name, I moan his… I can't get enough of Baralai, and he seems the same with me… I don't even understand why he's still with that Kymora girl.
After our third time, he takes me into the shower with him. I love the shower, and smile mischievously as I sink to my knees in front of him and his beautiful body.
(((((KYMORA)))))
Armed with 5 cameras, I begin to place them downstairs. One in the Dining room, one in the Living Room, one in the Kitchen. As I walk up the stairs to place one at the top and one in the bedroom, I hear the shower running and music playing in the bathroom.
Damn, he's up! Better move fast!
Quickly, I place the other two Camera's and leave. I wonder where Gippal might be today. Perhaps at the Oasis again? This time I won't get caught. I can't get caught.
(((((GIPPAL)))))
I notice the Oasis is especially nice today as I swim laps in it's shallow waters. For just a little while every day, it seems like the hurt is gone. I can cry in peace here. No one bothers me here. No one makes fun of me. The water is cool and soothing, and the sun bright and warm. Still, no matter how hot the Desert sun, I still feel so cold inside. I have this constant sick feeling. If Rikku, my love forever, couldn't understand, couldn't help me, who would?
I want so badly to move on, to love someone, but no one will understand me. They'll find it repulsive, like she did.
Out in the Desert to the east I see Kymora. She's digging in the sand, working…. I've never seen her work so much. It's not like she NEEDS to work. They have everything they could need, Kymora and Baralai. Still, I see her in the Desert more and more. she cries sometimes… I don't think she even knows she does it, since the tears dry so fast in this hot Sun. but I can hear her. I can her her sob.
I clamber back up onto my raft and stare at the clouds as they go by. I wish Kymora were with me. She seems to be so understanding and full of love… she would be my only hope for Love, but she's with Baralai.
I wonder if she is okay. Her sobbing, her fear of Baralai, her secrets… they make me wonder what's going on. I part of me hopes Baralai is messing up so she'll leave him, but I know she loves him too much. They'll work it out because they always do.
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(((((MYRAN)))))
As I got dressed to leave, Baralai began drinking, as he did every time. He wouldn't tell me why, though. Once he started drinking, I knew it was time to leave. He was a mean drunk. He hugged me loosely before I left, but said nothing. My poor Baralai I thought, what has she done to you?
(((((BARALAI)))))
When Myran left I got another bottle from under the bed. I don't know why I do this. Every time Myran comes over, I regret it afterwards…. Poor Kymora loves me so much… she does so much to keep me happy. She doesn't even know what I do when she's gone. I want to stop so bad, but I can't. It's like I'm addicted. I don't LOVE Myran…. Not like I love Kymora… but how can I get help? It all hurts too much.
I chug the bottle and dig for another. At least the alcohol makes the pain go away for a little while…. I love you, Kymora….
(((((KYMORA)))))
When I was sure he'd seen me digging and looked away, I made my way the long way around to the cliff once again. This time, I got a well-hidden spot so I wouldn't have to move when he left. I watched him as tears rolled down his cheeks. I listened as he cursed Rikku. Then, I watched him Mouth… was that.. he said Kymora! He said my name! So he really DOES think about me…. Oh Gippal… you poor sweet soul, Just tell me you want me and I'm all yours….
I spend the day watching as he drifts, cries, swims, and drifts again. I wait for 10 minutes after he leaves, then make my way down to the ground and head towards home.
Tomorrow, I'll have to fast forward through a lot of the Sphere. I had to leave them on record all day because I won't have a chance to turn them on when I get home. A few tears roll down my cheeks, half in regret, half in joy. Tonight will be the last time Baralai beats me, because tomorrow he sees the Spheres…