BREATHE

Written by Kimberly Granlund January 23rd 2006

Author's Note: My writer's block finally broke this afternoon and I just got an idea for a story. Grace sort of came out and it became a Grace/Luke fanfic. I don't care if it's not completely in character, because I wasn't planning on it being about the two of them at the beginning, it just sort of happened. I hope you like it and R&R!

Disclaimer: All I own is the idea for the story and the words. Barbara Hall and etc own the characters.

Rating: PG-13 for some mild language

My temper's gotten the best of me again and it's taking you away from me again.

Your voice still rings loudly in my ears when you said to me "I can't do this anymore. I'm going back to Arcadia tomorrow Grace. I'm leaving. I love you, but I can't do this anymore."

That mouth that use to taste me, use to kiss me is now spewing out this fucked up reality at me. I will never say it, but you affect me like no one else. I have never said it, but yeah I do love you and you knew. You knew all along, and you never told me that you knew.

Maybe you should leave, maybe you should go to hell for thinking that you can end this relationship, that you can leave me and that you can hurt me, but maybe, just maybe you're right for once. No make that often. You're often right and I hate you for that. I hate you so much for that, but I can't.

My heart stings, it doesn't even feel like my own. It's different. You opened me up and now you're closing me down.

Your bags are packed and lying on my red-covered bed. You've gone down the hall to say good-bye to friends that have known you now too long. That know me and I, Grace Polk admit that I am crying. I'm crying with big salted tears that race down my warm cheek and I don't try to dry them away. To stop them. Because stopping them won't change anything, it won't stop you from hating me. It won't bring you back, so I just let them fall.

Sniffling, I hear footsteps at my doorway, so I look up. You're standing there just looking at me, a blank look on your face.

You speak first and I just stare at you. "Grace, you're crying." Wiping at my eyes, I blink away the tears clinging to my eyelids. "Yeah, well it seemed like a good time to try it out." I'm not trying to be funny, but somehow this makes you laugh and you make me smile for a moment.

After a pause of silence, I softly say in a barely there voice "Don't go". You seem suprised by me being this way, because you're the one to stare now. "What do you want me to do Grace?" You ask, sitting down beside me on my bed. "I don't know, just don't leave. Please, don't leave." "We've changed Grace. You more then me, but we both have. In 6 years, we've gone through a lot together and I love you. I love you so much, but its just time for me to say good-bye to you." "No, because this isn't just your choice. I have say in this as well." "Grace--" You start to speak, but I cut you off. "Don't Grace me Luke." "I can't stay, you know that." "Why not?" I ask, a slight hint of irritation in my voice.

You stand up and sigh heavily, unable to look me in the eye. "I love you." You say, pacing slightly now. "I know." I say, lowering my voice again. "No, that's just it Grace. You always say 'I know'. You never say I love you to me." 'Is that all you want from me?" I ask, my irritation building. 'For starters, yes." "Fine. I love you. There I said it. Are you happy now?" You don't reply, you just snort at me and you're about to start laughing at me. "What the hell's wrong with you? I say it and you laugh at me, why?" You continue to softly laugh at me and I want to hit you. I want to hurt you for reacting this way, for acting like I don't care. Make you feel even the slightest like I feel right now. I want you to hurt, because maybe then I'll feel a little better.

I suddenly can't take it anymore and I lash out at you with words. "Get out." I say bitterly. You stop laughing and look at me. Tears rush to my eyes once again and these are hot and they sting even more then the others did.

"I'm sorry. It's just I wasn't expecting you to say it like that." You say sitting down on the edge of my bed again. "I'm new to this. I don't say 'I love you' to people. I don't even really say it to my parents." "Then what do you say to them?" You ask, indicating my parents. "You mean the rabbi and my drunk for a mother?" I say a sarcastic smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. "I wish you wouldn't call them that." You say. "Then what would you like me to call them?" "I don't know. Those just aren't very affectionate words for people who love you and have raised you." "Girardi." I've left my loving words behind as I call you by your last name. "Well, they aren't." "Yeah, well." I say, trying to change the subject.

"Why are we breaking up?" I say, becoming serious again. You stand up again saying, "You know why." "No, I don't. Tell me." "We fought. We said things. You said things that were unforgivable. I just can't do this anymore." "I love you. Let's make this work." I say. "Grace, we can't. We've tried and we just can't." "Why not?" I ask again, stubborn. "Please don't." "Why not?" "Because, can't you see how much this is hurting me as well?"

"I'm not the one who's leaving."

You act taken back by this and you take your time replying to my statement. "It's not like I want to." "Then why are you?" I ask. "Because--" You start and I cut you off once again. "You're making this into a bigger thing then it is. We said things that we didn't mean and we're both sorry. Isn't that enough?" "Grace--" "Isn't it?" I ask demandingly. " I don't know." "You should know. I'm not going to be the one leaving, because for some reason 'this' means something to me. You mean something to me."

You move an inch closer to me on my bed and you speak again. "How will we get past this? What if it happens again?" "Well, if it happens again we'll get past it. Luke, couples fight, it's a normal part of a relationship and about getting past this, aren't we doing that right now?" "I guess." "Now that we've settled this, why don't you stay? Please?" "Grace, I can't." You say. "I'll ask again, why not?" "It's just.." "That brain power running out?" I ask smirking and you just sigh.

"I'll stay for now." You say, scooting your suitcase back farther so that you move closer to me on the bed. "Yeah you are." I say grinning. You lean suggestively towards me and I glance past you to look at my open door. Knowing what I'm thinking, you get up off my bed and close the door close with a soft latching noise.

You return to my side and lean towards me again. Pressing your mouth to mine, I don't even have to second-guess that this is how it should be.

THE END