Chapter Two: Sick of You

Selphie sighed again as the answering machine picked up her call once again and she slammed the phone down on the base. She cradled her head in her hands for a moment, breathing deeply to keep from screaming. She clenched her eyes shut, willing herself to wake up from this nightmare.

Had it all really happened? Did Quistis really tell her that Irvine got caught cheating on Selphie with some stupid girl from his stupid crowd of adorers? Quistis tried to be soft and motherly when she told Selphie about her walking in on the cowboy and the student but by then, Selphie was wearing a small smile and waved the whole thing off, saying that something else might have been going on. Are you sure you saw what you saw, Quistis? Did you talk to him about it?

Selphie had giggled when Quistis stuttered and stumbled, muttering a faint apology for not confronting Irvine about it. Selphie could tell the young woman was thoroughly confused. Well, why not? Quistis had tried the dating thing and finally settled down with an ideal man…. Well, he's ideal in Quistis's eyes anyway. Selphie never fully comprehended why Quistis was dating the man that had single handedly led to the rise of Ultimecia.

They had been dating for some time now and Quistis often confided in Selphie her concerns about Seifer cheating on her. Many nights had passed when Quistis cried on her shoulder, while the young brunette sheltered her own burdens about her boyfriend's fidelity or lack there of. Selphie had never mirrored the same concerns to Quistis, even though Irvine's reputation of being a womanizer was well established.

Selphie had finally plastered the goofy grin on her thin face and assured Quistis that she was fine, her and Irvine were fine, and everything was fine. But once the door had closed behind her, the tears had came undoubtedly. Selphie's hand reached for the phone but pulled away every time, scared of the voice on the other end.

Irvine had been the only one who ever knew what she was really all about. The rainbows and freakin' sunshine persona wasn't her. It was who everyone wanted her to be. Irvine knew that Selphie was really just like everyone else, she could be happy, and sad, and mad. She had mood swings and got stressed out. She was even capable of crying.

Which she did a lot of when she lifted the receiver to her ear, pinning it there with a bony shoulder. Which she did a lot of when she dialed the number with a heavy finger and an even heavier heart. Which she did when she heard the steady drone of the answering machine pick up her call, instead of her boyfriend's smooth drawling voice.

Finally, after two hours of hitting the redial button and well after she found her tears had been exhausted, Irvine picked up the phone, his voice slightly groggy. "H- Hello?" He said, yawning into the phone.

I'm sick of you.

"Anyone there?"

I'm so sick of you messing around behind my back.

"Hello? What the hell did you call for?" Irvine's groggy voice was beginning to sound angry. Good, Selphie thought. I want him to be as pissed off as I am. Selphie had opened her mouth to accuse her boyfriend to accuse him of the crime she knew deep down he had committed when something stopped her cold.

"Irvy? Who is it?"

A woman's voice?

"Apparently it's no one."

"Well, come back to bed!"

"I'm sick of you." Selphie found the words tumbling out over her lips before she had the chance to catch them and stop them.

"Selphie? What's going on?" She could hear him shushing the woman in the background.

"I'm so sick of you, Irvine. I'm so sick of you pretending to love me and care about me when you are really just like the rest of them." She hissed into the phone. For some reason, her voice had dropped to a whisper. Maybe she didn't want the woman in her boyfriend's bed to hear her. Or maybe she felt she had to whisper to keep from screaming.

"Seffie, baby? What are you talking about? Are you okay? Is it about what happened yesterday in the cafeteria? Look, I'm sorry about that. I tried to help you but - " She cut him off, not wanting to listen to the lies and excuses that she had forced herself to believe for so long. What an idiot she had been…

"I'm sick of you lies, Irvine. I'm not talking about the cafeteria. I'm talking about what Quistis saw you and that same skank you have in your bed right now doing in her classroom!" Her voice had risen to a shout.

"What? That was nothing. I was just talking to her, I swear. Quistis doesn't know shit. She needs to stop filling your head with ideas. It's all because she's dating that bastard traitor, Almasy."

"I'm sick of you!" She screamed.

xxx

Since she was a level A SeeD, the highest level there is, saved for 'heroes' only, it was an easy task to get a key and a fast car from the parking garage within minutes of her break-up with Irvine. After beating the crap out of the receiver and base, she had slipped on clean shorts and a tank top and headed out the door, feeling like the walls of Balamb Garden were closing in on her, crushing her and suffocating her.

She drove to the only home away from Balamb that she had, other than the orphanage. Molly Dincht accepted the young brunette into her home more than willingly. Selphie, guilt-ridden about lying, had told Molly that she was sent on a mission to inspect Balamb City and the growth of the city after the last Sorceress War. She said that she had planned on getting a room at the inn and had just stopped by to say hi but Molly insisted that she stay there at her house.

"You should know that you are more than welcome, anytime, sweetheart!" Molly called out to Selphie over the pot of boiling water and rice. Selphie was in the adjoining room to the kitchen, her eyes tracing over figures in the pictures that Molly had framed and set beneath the window's sunny light. Zell at all ages smiled up at her, his blonde having always been spiky, his eyes the same laughing sky-blue. Selphie found herself smiling, despite the heavy depression that had set in.

"You look tired, maybe you should rest?" Molly suggested, wiping her hands on her apron. She pointed to the stairs that led to Zell's bedroom. "You can rest up there. He talks about you so much that I'm sure he won't mind you being up there." Selphie nodded, hiding a yawn. She hadn't realized how exhausted she really was. She tried calculating how many hours of sleep she had gotten in the last week but she found them too few to count and trudged up the stairs.

She was surprised at the state of Zell's bedroom. With is eccentric personality, she figured his room would be a total disaster zone, with games, comic books, and workout equipment littering the floors. But his bed was neatly made, the floor swept and clean, the walls bare, except for a single picture just above his dresser. She stepped closer, craning her head back to look at the stately figure dressed in a soldier's garb. She was reaching a hand towards it when a voice interrupted her.

"That's my grandpa."

She spun around, yanking her hand back to her chest. Zell was leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest. He gave her a quick smile before coming to stand beside her. He shoved his fists into his pockets and turned to look at the man in the photograph. She stepped beside him trying to stop her heart from racing after being startled.

"I never really knew my parents or relatives. When I came to Balamb, Molly heard about me and wanted to adopt me. That man right there was her father. He was the greatest guy I've ever met. He took me in and treated me like I was his own. He was the father figure I never really had. He taught me so many things. He had been in the first sorceress war and he told me so many stories. He inspired me so much that I just had to do anything to make him as proud of me as I was of him. That's why I wanted to become a SeeD. And why I was so eager to defeat Ultimecia…" Zell raised a fist in honor to the man in the photo before turning away and collapsing on the bed.

"So where is he now?" Selphie asked, taking one last look at the man before turning towards Zell, who had sat back up.

He hung his head. "He died a while ago. Before I even became a SeeD." She walked over to the bed and sat beside him.

"I'm really sorry, Zell…" She said, adding guilt to the weight of the world on her shoulders. He shook his head and smiled sadly at her.

"Nah, it's cool. I know that he would be proud of me so it's okay. And I still have Ma to care about." He said, grinning. "Oh, and you!" He said, laughing as he ruffled her hair and she squealed in protest.

"Hey!" She cried out, shoving his arm away, giggling.

"It's nice to see you smile for once, Seffie." He murmured. "I heard about what happened. Irvine tried to come to me because he knows that you and I are good friends. He wanted me to try to talk you back into forgiving him and coming back to him." Selphie lifted her dark green eyes to him. She couldn't read the emotion in Zell's face. She looked towards her feet, waiting for him to try to convince her to forgive Irvine.

"Aw, Seffie, you don't really think that I'd try to convince you to go back out with that jerk, do you? Honestly, I think this is the break you needed to get your life on the track you want it on. Finally, you can be you, Selphie." She tilted her head in his direction, peeking up at him. "And I know who you really are and it's time they know as well." She nodded and tried to hide a yawn. He gave her a quick hug before jumping up to his feet. He walked out but stopped in the doorframe to look back at her.

"Get some sleep, Sleepyhead! Tomorrow's a new start, Selphie!" He flashed her a grin before heading down the stairs. She laid back onto the bed, with a smile on her face. He was right, this was what she needed, a chance to start anew. She was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.