I stirred softly in my sleep. Barely waking. My mind starts to fill again with the events from the previous night. I sighed hard burying my face into the pillow I am sleeping on. Wishing desperately for more rest. Guilt hit me and I knew the sleep wouldn't come. The look on Leonardo's face before he stormed away the evening previous was etched into my mind. I simply could not forget the look of hurt, betrayal.

I hadn't even realized he was so upset. I hadn't meant to make him angry and now I felt helpless. What was I suppose to say to him? What was I suppose to do? Did he want me to do anything? He had left right after he had confronted Mike and I in the kitchen the night before. Maybe he didn't even want to see me anymore. Maybe I disgusted him now. I curled into a ball, scared because the thought of him disliking me hurt much more then I thought it should.

Somehow I had gone from a sort of simple admiration, to very devout feelings and I am not certain when this change occurred. I had realized I felt something for Leonardo, that there was some form of tension between us, but until now. With the pain I was feeling at my probably loss of him, it was blatant to me that my emotions were much deeper for him then I had ever assumed.

Now I realized I would have to speak to him. I had been trying to ignore whatever emotions I harbored for him. Thinking it was better for both of us, because when I went home any relationship between the two of us would be too painful. It appeared that my heart had taken the matter into its own hands and even if I wanted to deny myself my desires. I could no longer brush off the fact that Leonardo too had to feel something for me. The intense look in his eye. The pain, it had been plain.

I didn't want to make him feel wounded; I wanted to make amends no matter how much of my own pride that might mean sacrificing. At this point Leonardo had done so much for me, without asking for anything in return. I owed him the right to know the truth. I hugged myself as I thought, but how on earth was I going to tell him? Just the thought of mentioning my feelings to Leo made me blush so badly, it felt like my face was burning. I felt like a child again. Like I couldn't express myself properly. I sighed. Shifting to look at Melinda, hoping she was awake, thinking maybe we could talk.

I sat bolt upright as I looked down at the blankets where Mel had been sleeping. The space was empty. Dread filled my stomach. If I had been worried about speaking to Leonardo, now I was positively sick thinking that Melinda must have left in the middle of the night because of the "prank" Mike and I had played on her. We hadn't meant to offend her. Simply to help her and Donatello along.

Glancing I noticed Mel's stuff was still next to her bed though. This confused me. It didn't seem like Melinda would just leave during the night and not take any of her things. If anything I think she would at least take her purse, yet it was sitting there waiting alone right next to her bags. I crawled out of bed. Shivering against the chill of the very early morning. I glanced at the clock it was only a little after four am. I groaned softly, really wishing I was still asleep.

My fear for Mel's whereabouts is what finally drove me from the room. I didn't even bother to throw on a shirt over the small tank top and sweat pants I was sleeping in. Fear was starting to grasp me hard. I quickly pushed my slippers on my feet and peeking out Leo's door started to creep down the stairs towards the main room. Stopping everyone once in a while to look around and listen for signs of anyone moving.

I heard snoring coming from either Raph's or Mike's rooms. Maybe both, I wasn't certain. I got to the top of the stairs and paused before going down. I didn't see any movement below me. There were no lights and the TV's were off, which meant everyone was asleep. I was hoping maybe I would just find Mel downstairs thinking. Maybe not able to sleep and trying to clear her mind.

I sat on the top step for a moment frustrated, uncertain what to do. I wondered if Melinda had just left everything and went back to Saki. Maybe she had thought getting her belongings together would be too noisy, or take too much time and she didn't want to wake me. I thought hard, my brain still a little foggy from slumber. Trying to think where else Mel might have gone.

It dawned on me. I knew her and Donatello had been hanging out a lot in there warehouse topside. She liked to fool around with all his gadgets with him and I had guessed simply spend time with him. Maybe if she had to think she would have went there. Hope seized me. Maybe Melinda hadn't left, maybe she was just doing some thinking on her own.

I decided to go check, to both put my own nerves at ease and because I still wanted to talk to her. That way if something was bothering her, she could share with me also. I took the steps slowly in the dark, afraid to tumble down and wake everyone up. I had noticed quickly that none of the Turtles were heavy sleepers, but I guess being a Ninja one wouldn't be.

I reached the bottom, blinking against the very dim light. Trying to remember right where the entrance to topside was. I started to slowly creep along. Hands out, trying not to run into anything. Just as I reached the point where I could tell I was near the entrance, I heard someone's throat clear and a light flicked on behind me. I turned swiftly; I knew I had a guilty look on my face. Standing staring coldly at me was Leonardo. His arms were crossed and his expression was hard, like it used to be when we fought, when I first meet him.

"Are you running away again?" His expression was critical. He was assessing me. Studying me and I felt myself shirk under his intense gaze.

"No…" My tone came out sharper then I wished. I watched him bulk. I took in a deep breath. Trying not to become annoyed. "I was looking for Melinda, she wasn't in your room, and I was afraid maybe she left again." I felt my voice falter. Wavering as I mentioned my fears. It was too early and I was too confused to completely control myself.

Leonardo's hard expression fell, he visibly relaxed, his arms falling to his side, he gestured towards Don's room with his head. "She went up to stay with Don. I saw her creep in there a few hours ago. She never came back out."

My eyes grew wide. I couldn't quiet believe that Melinda had actually done what Leonardo said, but he had no reason to lie to me. I was thrilled. Maybe the plan hadn't turned out as badly as Mike and I had thought it had. "That's great." I knew I was smiling. Leonardo was looking at me curiously. "I knew she liked him and couldn't keep denying it. Maybe this will make her happy." There was hope for her in my voice, but as I realized Mel was all right a new pain set into my heart.

She was upstairs with Don, warm and safe and here I was locked in a battle of wills with Leo. Maybe the two of us weren't meant to be together. Maybe we were too strong of personalities to actually click. We always just seemed to end up fighting. I sighed, feeling sad.

He seemed to notice my change in expression. He leaned back against the couch he was in front of, considering me. "Don't you want Melinda and Don to be happy?" His tone was suspicious. I looked at him confused.

"Of coarse I do! Why do you think I spent all afternoon with Mikey planning a way to force them to be near one another? It was the only way I could think how to do it. I just wanted them to see how much they meant to one another." My heart hurt. He seemed so disinterested in me now. He was concerned about his brother as he should be. Maybe I was a fool to think he was upset because I was with Mike.

"You and Mike were planning someway to get them together?" His expression became startled. He tried to cover it with disinterest. But I had seen it there. Hope filled me a little again.

"Yeah, we thought it had backfired, but…" I glanced up at Don's door. "Maybe not." I smiled softly, hopefully for my friend, before turning back to look at Leonardo forcing a smirk on my face. "I mean why else would I spend so much time with Mike. Its NOT like I like him." There I had said it. I had told him what I needed to tell him in a round-a-bout way that didn't make me seem desperate or obvious. Inside I rejoiced.

I watched Leo blink a few times. He was trying to suppress whatever he was feeling. Trying to not allow me to see it. Inside I had a million butterflies swirling around in my stomach. Wondering if this was news he REALLY wanted to hear, if he was just being coy or if he really didn't care.
"You don't? I don't know I thought from the way you two were laughing that something was going on." He shrugged trying to look indifferent. I bit my lip as hope once again seizing me. I began to think maybe he did like me.

"Nope, Mike's nice, but he's not my type…" I froze growing shy. I looked down at the ground I could feel myself growing red. Unsure what to say next. I knew that if I described what my type was it would come out sounding a little to much like him. I wasn't ready to make that confession yet.

"Oh." Leonardo sounded very surprised. I watched his brow wrinkle. He was taking in a lot of information and I could tell he wasn't sure what to make out of all of it. We both grew silent. Tension was in the air. We would both look at one another and then away, neither really certain what to say. Finally sadly I got sick of standing there and feeling stupid.

"I guess maybe I should go back to bed." I studied Leo, "you should probably try to get some sleep too Leo, you look tired."

Leonardo shrugged. "I've just had a lot on my mind lately I guess." He was looking away from me, towards the couch so it was hard to read what he was thinking.

"I'm sorry I took your room from you, I guess that isn't very fair." I felt badly. He probably hadn't been sleeping well because I noticed there tended to be people wandering around here at all hours.

"No, really that's alright. You are welcome to stay in there as long as you need. I tend to be a really light sleeper anyway." He protested, waving his hands a little defensively. Still I felt guilty.

"Why don't you let me take the couch for the rest of the night, that way you can at least get a little uninterrupted sleep." I felt the need to offer. Honestly I didn't really want to sleep on the couch, but I would to be polite.

"I couldn't possibly do that." He was stumbling a little over his words now. I smiled inwardly, thinking he wasn't used to arguing with girls. "The couch isn't very comfortable. I'm used to it, it will just keep you awake." He was making excuses I could tell. He was a master of deception, but surprisingly bad at lying.

"It doesn't look that bad to me." I crossed the room between us and leaned over the couch, feeling the padding. It honestly didn't feel uncomfortable to me. I wanted to prove this to him. I was about to speak when Leonardo moved. I felt his hand come down to rest on my back. He ran his finger along my spine. I realized from the low dip of my tank top he was seeing a lot of skin. It seems he couldn't stop himself from touching it.

But his caress was chaste, gentle. Almost like he wasn't sure how to touch me. "Your skins very soft…" His voice was low, I glanced up at him and he seemed to just be staring at me. Kind of like he was mesmerized. I felt my face growing hot again. I wasn't sure what to say. I desperately didn't want to sound foolish.

I didn't have too say anything, he realized what he was doing and pulled away swiftly seeming to reproach himself. My skin felt hot where he had been touching me. Sending an electric shiver down my spine. I turned a little, looking up at him now self conscious because of what I was lacking in my dressing choice. I saw him trying to look away and not on me. Our bodies in such close quarters seemed to be an obstacle to him.

"I wouldn't feel right leaving you here." My voice was soft; I bit my lip, the words almost hard to say. I knew that I respected him. There had never been very much doubt in my mind, even when I first meet Leonardo and couldn't stand him, that still on some level I respected him. Now standing inches from him, the light in the room dim, casting shadows something struck me. I was very physically attracted to him.

Being so different from him, I had thought it really wasn't possible. Yet here I stood, trying not to stare at his plastron, thinking how strong he was. Wondering what he felt like, wondering how his arms would feel around me. His face buried against my neck. His weight and smell one with me. I could feel my blush growing darker and didn't even try to fight it. He too was avoiding eye contact with me and I had to wonder were his thoughts similar to mine. Could he possible be attracted to me like I was to him?

He cleared his throat. Turning from me to stare down at the couch cushions. An unreadable expression on his face. "You should take the bed Lea, go rest. Pretty soon everyone will be up." His face never turned, he didn't look at me as he spoke.

"But that's not fair!" I protested, reaching out to grasp his bicep, moving a step closer to him, freezing as I realized my body was now pressed against his side. I watched as his eyes closed. He took one deep breath and then another. He too was still, almost like he was also afraid to move.

"I refuse to allow you to sleep out here, on our couch when I can offer you my bed. What honor is there in forcing your guest to sleep in the more substandard arrangement?" He turned our bodies colliding with one another. I fell back a little, hitting the couch, not expecting him to be so forceful. He was so close I could feel his breath. His face so near mine. I wasn't sure what to do, what I wanted from him. Our eyes locked, we stood staring at one another for a few moments.

"Sleep." The word was a command, no longer a request. He leaned forward and I felt him very gently kiss my forehead. My eyes closing as he touched me. His presence was so overwhelming it consumed me. He stepped away. I could see it was difficult for him to do so. His eyes were heavy with emotion. It was attractive I had never seen him look like this.

"Alright." I didn't argue. I knew it was pointless. I desired nothing more than to stay with him, to be close to him, but that didn't seem to be what he wanted. I knew he was as scared and as uncertain about all of this as me. I stepped away from him. "Could you get me if Melinda wakes up before me?" I looked at him with question, feeling my heart racing at such a speed I was certain he could hear it pounding.

He nodded and turned. "Have pleasant dreams." His words were low, meaningful. I nodded and turned. Desperate to leave, but almost just as desperate to stay. I walked away swiftly uncertain what I was doing. How could I go home again, if I fell in love?