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ReactionBobby had been passing so long that his captain was ready to yell at him. But Deakins didn't have the heart. Alex had been gone for several days and in that time Bobby had steadily gotten worse. For that matter, so had Deakins. Major Case had effectively shut down with the exception of finding their fellow detective. And now she was in the hospital, though no one had any idea for how long.
"Bobby! Sit down." The larger man looked over at his commanding officer and opened his mouth to retort but thought better of it and sat in the closest chair, one that happened to be across the room. The room was empty except for the two men. Walls were covered in sponged on violet and pale teal paint. Three fake plants filled three corners and rows of maroon chairs promised a comfort that few found. Both men had been in the room for longer than they wanted to admit. Neither had spoken, afraid of vocalizing the fear that was filling the minds of both.
A door near Bobby swung open and a tall woman with short brown hair in a white coat entered. She held in her hand a clipboard and a pen, which she tapped on the board to get the attention of both men. Not that she needed to. "Captain Deakins?"
"Um, yeah." He stood, placing his hands in his pants pockets before taking a few steps forward.
"Detective Eames—"
"Why isn't her family here?" Bobby suddenly stood up, causing the woman to step back in shock. It hadn't dawned on him till that moment, but Alex had a family, one that would have been more that willing to visit her in the hospital, one that would aggravate her to no end with their worry, one that wasn't here.
"She was conscious when she came in. The first thing she did was ask us not to call them. After a few moments of thought, she hesitantly gave us the names James Deakins and Robert Goren, who, I'm assuming is you."
Bobby nodded, still confused but Deakins cut off his thought. "How is she?" His voice was full of worry and he had taken a few more steps forward, this time taking a hand out of his pocket and scratching his head with it.
"Before you ask, she will live, but she is not well. Even after her physical wounds are long healed, I am afraid she will have emotional repercussions."
Bobby's head snapped up, "What!"
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Alex sat in the bed. Not having been comfortable, the nurse had propped it up, but Alex's discomfort didn't ebb. It seemed that she couldn't find a position that was better than another. She wanted to get up and walk out of the hospital, to return to work and her home and ignore the events of the past few days, but she knew she couldn't stand on her own two feet. Once Dr. Mirus had left, she had tried to stand, but succeeded only in falling over and upsetting the nurse on duty.
She was in incredible amounts of pain, but all of it since her encounter with Marcos seemed insignificant. Physical pain was something she chose to ignore. It dissipates with time, it's pointless to fuss over. It was the emotional pain that she was worried about, but true to her nature, she tried to push it out of her to remain strong on the front. She was from a strong family, she associated with strong people, she too had to prove her strength even if it meant stifling certain events. She had already decided that few people would ever know all about what had happened—only those few who really needed to know would.
Any moment now, she could expect to see Bobby or Deakins in the doorway, worrying about and fussing over her. It was the last thing she wanted. Maybe if she forgot what had happened, everything could go back to normal. That was what she wanted—normal. She had gotten so use to it, and now it was over. Forever. That was one of many reasons not to call her family—all they ever did was fuss over one person or issue. She didn't know if she could relive it all over again for the police report—let alone her family. She would cross that bridge if she had too, but she would push it off as long as possible first.
A knock disrupted her from her thoughts. Deakins entered alone. "The nurse outside told me you've already tried to escape." He almost laughed but that was before he had gotten a good look at her. "God, Alex…"
"Don't. I'm fine." It had come out more harsh than she had intended, but at least it got her point across.
"I, uh, sorry." There was a heavy pause before he continued. "How are you? Not physically, but…"
"Emotionally?" He nodded. "I'll live."
Their entire conversation was growing more and more strained. Deakins didn't know what to say. "Bobby wants to see you."
"I bet." There was no joy in her voice, he noted. She was obviously not fine, no matter how hard she tried to convince him she was.
"Ok, well… Feel better." And he left. His eyes met Bobby's as the door shut behind him. He let out a sigh, relieving the tension that had built in him during his previous conversation. As Bobby reached forward to go through the door he had just come through, Deakins placed a hand on his arm. "Don't expect…Just be prepared for the worst." There was nothing more to be said. Deakins walked off, ready to go report Alex's well being to the rest of the squad.
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Bobby entered the room, walked over to the chair by her bedside and sat down. He took her hand in his, noticing that it tensed for a moment and then went limp. He squeezed her hand, trying to portray comfort. She never attempted to squeeze back. "Are you ok?"
"Fine." Her voice was bitter now. Cold, almost hateful. Bobby slowed, had he done something wrong? Was being there for her something she didn't want?
"You were…raped." It was almost a question, almost a statement. Bobby had vocalized his thoughts many a time, but never in reference to Eames. She looked away. "Eames? You were raped? The doctor didn't lie?"
"No."
"Eames, you need to let it out, accept—"
"Shut up, Goren. I don't want to hear it."
"Eames—"
"No!" She hadn't looked at him the entire time. Except for her replies and her increasing anger, it seemed as if she hadn't recognized his presence at all.
Bobby stopped talking, as per her request. It wasn't that he was following her orders, but that he knew he couldn't reach her through words. Hers still in his, he rubbed his thumb over the top of her hand. She tried to pull away, her body tensing at his touch, but he wouldn't let go. He brought his other hand to hers, covering it in warmth. He stroked it, hoping she would open up to him.
There was a sound of breath being taken in sharply and a whimper making Bobby look up. Her head had lowered, but it was still turned away from him, her body doing the same. She shivered. "Alex…" She pulled away and tried again to get out of bed, to get away from him. She fell, hard, in her haste. "Alex!" Bobby ran around the bed to her.
She curled up in a ball. When he reached for her shoulder, she jumped away from him and screamed. "Don't, please don't Bobby. Just…just stay there." Fear had overtaken the anger in her tone.
Confused for a moment why his touch would send her screaming, Bobby realized that he had hit on why Alex was hurting so much. She couldn't deal with it, didn't know how and so she was trying to avoid it only to have it build until she exploded. Alex had cuddled against the wall, hiding herself in her arms. "Alex…" She refused to look at him, tears streaming down her face even at her obvious attempt to stop them.
"Do you…do you want me to leave?" She turned his head to look at him, but stopped short of his eyes. He waited several moments for her answer. Slowly, while curling deeper into the protection of the wall, she shook her head.