Hello, readers. Like I said in the summary, I found the Rhys/Mia supports hysterical, and I knew I just had to write about them. So I did. Here is the finished product, or Act One of them, as it were. It gets more hysterical and weird from here, so if this is a little boring, I apologize. Keep with it though. The third act is outrageous!

ACT ONE: Frustration

>>>Somewhere in the maze that is Mainal Cathedral, Sienne, Begnion…

Rhys was wandering around Mainal Cathedral for the fifth time that day. He found something comforting in walking the same path over and over again. Maybe it was the fact that excitement induced his acid reflux disease. In fact, he was so used to this new routine that he had forgotten to bring his herbal stomach-calming medication. It was still in his satchel, sitting on his desk back in the barracks.

Unfortunately for Rhys, he would come to regret this oversight. Just as he rounded the corner, he came face to face with the one thing that frightened him most—the one person who, upon the first sight of her, caused Rhys to sweat uncontrollably.

"Ah-ha! I found you!" giggled Mia. Her scarlet eyes glittered brightly and her violet hair bobbed gently as she smiled. "You weren't at the barracks, and you weren't at the mess hall, and I was really worried about you, so I asked Rolf, and he said you sometimes walk around the chapel, so I came here, and I found you, and…hey, where are you going? Rhys?"

She hurried to catch up the surprisingly speedy priest, who was shuffling away from her, hunched over and looking rather green. "Rhys…what's wrong? Are you sick?"

Rhys shook his head. "No…I'm…I'm alright. Thanks for checking on me though."

Mia smiled. "Great," she said, and playfully slapped him on the back, sending him sprawling on the luxurious rugs of the cathedral floor. "Now we can start your sword training."

Rhys started to get up, but was having a hard time doing so, as his entire body was quavering from head to toe. "Wh-wha-what?"

Mia sighed. "You know, for a magic user, you really aren't the sharpest sword in the sheath." She unsheathed her sword, twirled it in the air, and tossed it at Rhys.

"Ack!" he protested, ducking just as the blade spun over his head, landing with a clatter just feet behind him. He spun around to face Mia, his glare scathing. "What was that for?"

"Well, you were supposed to catch it, but I forgot that you're new to this…not to mention your reflexes aren't so hot either." She walked over and picked up the sword. "Here, let's try this again. I'll hand it to you this time."

"No!" Rhys protested, shrinking back, away from the pointed piece of steel that spoke of doom. "M-m-mia! T-th-this has to st-st-stop!"

She lowered the sword. "What?"

"I can't be a swordsman! I'm just a priest, and a weak priest at that. Even my staff is heavy for me."

"What, this thing?" Mia said as she twirled Rhys' staff like a baton, throwing it up in the air on occasion, catching it and parading around the hall like she was leading a brigade of royal heralds.

"D-don't do that!" Rhys scrambled to get up, hurried over and snatched his staff from Mia's hand.

"You're pretty quick. Maybe you could be a swordsman…"

Ignoring her, Rhys stuttered, "Do you have any idea how valuable this is?"

She shrugged. "It just looks like a stick with a jewel on top of it."

"No, no! It's like…a sword for is for you…do you know what I mean?"

"No," she said flatly.

"Oh, goddess!" Rhys fell against the wall, clutching his burning chest. "Ashera, give me strength…I don't want to go yet…"

Mia bowed her head respectfully as he prayed, then said brightly, "Well, now that Ashera has given you strength, let's try this again!"

"NO!" Rhys screamed. "No…let's not try this again." He walked over to a bench on the wall and collapsed onto it. "Mia…you're a good friend…but why do you torture me so?"

"How many times do I have to tell you this story?" she said exasperatedly. Then, giving Rhys an evil glare, she continued, "Well, this old crone gave me a reading, and she said 'I see a man with reddish blonde hair…wearing white…he will be your archrival, but you will also fall in love with him…"

Rhys listened, then interjected quizzically, "I'm confused—"

"Yeah, I was too, because when I got this fortune it was after Labor Day, and I wondered how I could possibly fall in love with someone who had that horrible of fashion sense, but then I realized that he was probably just ignorant of the laws of fashion, and I would have to teach him that in addition to wielding a sword."

"Which, in a roundabout sense, I guess, leads to my original question, which was—"

"Why don't you wear white after Labor Day?" Mia tried.

"No, no. Where in that fortune did you get the idea that you needed to teach me to wield a sword! I mean, why can't Stefan be your archrival or true love, or…whatever?"

She considered this for a moment, then said, "Okay, Stefan isn't my archrival and true love for two reasons. For one thing, he has green hair, not strawberry blonde like the fortune says. And, two…I'm pretty sure Stefan is gay."

"You know…now that I think of it…he sure does look at Ike really weird. And he always wants to sword train with him…"

Mia stepped back, looking at Rhys incredulously. "Why are you thinking about it…Wait a minute!" Her green eyes suddenly widened. "You aren't one of those priests that abuse altar boys, are you?"

"What?" Rhys said, quite confused. "Where in Ashera's name did you hear that?"

"Oh, the old crone told me. We had an interesting conversation after my fortune, you see she asked me if I would like to have tea with her, because she didn't usually have visitors…"

Mia kept talking, but Rhys wasn't really listening. A plan was forming in his mind—a dangerous, inventive, heartburn-inducing plan. But as Mia continued to discuss the old crone and her ridiculous prophecies (and something about apples…) Rhys knew that he had to do what he had to do.

"Mia," he said.

"—so I told her, 'No, I've never met a woman whose skin was as white as snow', and she said 'What a shame…I need to give her what's coming to her', and she cackled really evilly after that, so I was kind of worried about her, but she assured me she was fine, and I didn't need to worry about her, so I didn't, and we kept talking, and eventually she got on to this rumor she had heard about priests, and I asked her about it because I knew a priest, and she said—"

"Mia!" Rhys demanded.

"—so I asked her, 'What are you talking about?' and she said—"

Rhys threw up his hands, sighed, and walked toward the door as Mia continued to relate the conversation between herself and the old crone, oblivious to the fact that her audience had vacated the premises. Finally, she looked around.

"Rhys…Rhys? Where are you…Rhys?"

>>>END ACT I!