"Yes, there is a zipper on the back of his head," Peter said, "And if I pull it down, like so…" Peter pulled down on the zipper and he revealed the true culprit—a giant chicken.
"Holy crap, it's a giant chicken!" Peter exclaimed sarcastically as if he already knew who the culprit was.
"But how; this doesn't make any sense," Holmes said.
"Elementary; first of all, when I showed Roderick this bucket of fried chicken a few minutes ago," Peter said holding up a bucket of KFC chicken, "he flinched. Secondly: he also bobbed his head whenever he walked. Finally: there were peck marks all over Ms. Usher's body; pecks that only a chicken could make. As for the real Mr. Usher: this chicken gave him a free getaway giveaway certificate so that's where he really is."
"How did you come to this conclusion?" Holmes inquired.
"Well it all happened when I watched an episode of Matlock; there was nothing on that day so I figured I might as well watch it."
"Brilliant, Mr. Griffin; I guess you're not so incompetent after all."
"Now to take care of this chicken," Peter said as he started to beat up the chicken. He grabbed the chicken's leg and the chicken grabbed his esophagus and bit off Peter's ear and chewed off his eyebrows and Peter took out the chicken's appendix and its gizzard before the chicken fell down unconscious.
"Why don't we get out of here before that chicken wakes up," Peter suggested.
"That sounds like an excellent idea," Sherlock said as he started heading out of the room. "So where is the real Mr. Usher anyway?"
"That's a mystery even I can't solve," Peter said. "No seriously, I don't know where he is. What are we gonna do about the body?"
"We'll let the police take care of it," Holmes said, "In the meantime…I'll have to tell Watson all of what happened."