Summary- this is for everyone sick of a weakly Ryou getting beaten by bakura then eventually falling in love with him, given I've read some good ones but I believe everyone has a snapping point. Basically shit happens and Ryou has a realization. Namely that Bakura has lost his control and power over him so will Ryou be come his yami and repay him for years of abuse or maybe something ultiamtly worse…no one can stay innocent forever.
Credits- originally (i.e. a long long long time ago when I started it) inspired by spyder's ' nobody expects the innocent' and reading way too many Bakura and Ryou fics, namely bakurasgirl's big Ryou/Bakura arc (Nanny bakura and so on.) Also several others I can't remember. Both are execllent authors who you should go read.
Warnings- violence, blood, misuse of power, dark themes. mentions of yaoi , implied lemon(s) oh, more blood. Lots of knives also.
NOTE: THIS FIC WAS FINISIHED A LONG TIME AGO AND HAS BEEN WAITING TO BE POSTED. I did not read over it again, nor do I intend to fix things. I've gone over it multiple times over about 2 years. If it ain't fixed, it's never going to be. This is also the last time I expect to be posting on ff .net. it's been a trip, this is my parting gift.
Claifications:
/…/ thoughts
8 idicates beginning and end of lyrics (in case the italics screw up.)
Disclaimer- I don't own yu-gi-oh. When Malik (and his tattoos) appear in every episode, Ryou gets a bigger part, and Yami and Bakura are constantly lacking clothing then you know I gained control. The song used is 'Dare You to Kill Me' is by Alisha's Attic, who you've probably never heard of but are quality music.
I could sense it, Ryou was growing. He was reaching the breaking point. Everyone has one, that point at which you'll do things that in the past you couldn't think of without giving yourself nightmares. All beings break when pushed too far.
I love that point, they teeter on the edge, agony of all agonies as they try pitifully to save themselves from the chaos. Ryou's almost there, but for once the thought filled me with dread rather than glee.
I know that a lost innocence is the most dangerous thing, highly volitale and it's like toying with death itself. Ryou would become something so destructive and scarred that no one would be safe.
I've been pushing him to the point, it's my work and I know that. So I reversed my stratagy, I orginally thought that a broken Ryou would result in a blubbering mess of tears and confused emotions. Instead he's becoming me.
There's a saying 'know your friends well; know your enemies better.' I'm one to do that, I know my limits as well as theirs, I haven't beaten the pharaoh because he's stronger, I know that. But by bluffing my power, he falls and gives me ways in. There will be no way in with Ryou. That of course provides I live though his breaking point. Because I'm not sure I will.
That's fine though, it's the cycle, though I do wish to see just how far he'll go, should be highly intriguing, I've never seen one as originally innocent as he breaking. It should be quite a show.
8
Free spirited young man
Why'd you have to grow?
From a sparky little jewel
Into something so pointed gold
8
Bakura's done nothing for weeks, I'm afraid he's planning something. I'm not foolish enough to think he's stopped his campaign of abuse. He's barely said anything to me much less hit me, I'm grateful yes but scared; what will he do when he goes back to normal? That scares me.
It doesn't help that I feel like I'm going insane anyway, I have a feeling I'll just snap and Yugi and the others will send me away to the loony bin in a straight jacket.
Therefore one thought has formed in my mind - I've gotta get away from here. That's the only thought I have as I pack a bag. Once I finished I checked the link - he couldn't hear me. Good. I would leave, leave the ring here and run. Run before he got me. It was the calm before the storm and if I was going to get caught in it, it wasn't going to be willingly; I was not staying to wait for my death any longer. It's time I did something for myself.
8
Cold feet
And then I do a runner
I couldn't breathe
Cause you had the power
8
I zipped my duffel, pulled the ring from my neck and threw it on the floor, then I practically ran from the room. Whether what I did was right or not didn't matter, I wouldn't go back even if I failed and ended up miserable.
Besides miserable was better than dead.
As I ran I realized I didn't know where I should go, there's Yugi of course, he and Yami could help and protect me but Bakura'd check there first. Then there's Joey's or Tristen's, no that wouldn't work. I wouldn't be safe with Malik even though I'd like to go there: Marik would hand me to Bakura when he came. Then there's Ryouji or Mai or even Tea but they definitely couldn't help me. Then there's Kaiba that'd be the last place he'd look for me.
With that in mind I went that way. Kaiba's is the farthest from my home but I could stay there longest with out being found and besides it's not like he doesn't have the room.
I cursed as I felt a raindrop, the world just hates me. The rain came down heavy and I was soaked though my sweater. I ducked into an alleyway to stop and hopefully find a balcony to stand under so I wouldn't get any wetter.
I waited but the rain didn't seem to be letting up, I let out a sigh and started walking again. Better at Seto's and very wet than out here at night wet, cold, and hungry.
"Ryou why are you here? But first come in you're all wet!" Mokuba chirped.
"Thanks Mokuba, is your brother here?"
"Nah,
he's working he'll be home late, why/"
"I was hoping I
could stay here for a few days."
"Well that's no problem! We have tons of room and it's be nice to have someone else around."
"Thanks Mokuba."
/Ryou…/
"Who's there?" I panicked sitting up in bed.
/ It's me you fool think you could lose me that easily/
/Bakura./ I realized, his voice was barely resonating, we were too far apart and I didn't have the ring.
/Yes I am. Now I suggest you come back. /
/No! You can't make me I'm not yours to control// I was shaking despite my strong words even at this safe distance he scared the shit out of me.
/ I think you'll come willingly…you don't want anyone to die now do you…/
I froze. No he wouldn't.
/ Yes Ryou I would, would you like to hear Malik's screams? They're quite lovely.../
I trembled at the thought no he couldn't really have Malik. Malik was my best friend, the one person who I could tell my secrets to, not him…
Suddenly screams filled my mind; bright clear and crisp, not barely there as Bakura's voice had been. I panicked and tried to block them out and cover my ears but it didn't help they were coming from inside. I could practically feel the pain though his voice.
/Stop! Stop hurting him/ I cried, though from sorrow or pain I don't know.
Silence.
/ If you come. /
/Swear you won't hurt him! Not anyone//
/You have my thieves honor. /
/ Which is worth nothing//
/ Maybe. But you'll never know why don't you come and maybe Malik will live…/
The screams came again.
I threw myself out of the bed and tore though Kaiba mansion, running as fast as I could, not noticing as my lungs began to burn for air and muscles cried out in pain and over work.
I had to stop him.
I threw myself though the door and collapsed panting.
"So you came." I heard Bakura's voice say, bitterly; "You shouldn't have done that; try to run away, I was going to leave you alone but now you pissed me off."
"Malik..." I managed to wheeze, throat dry.
"You weren't fast enough." He spat.
"No!" I choked out. He couldn't mean it, he didn't…I looked wildly to get a glimpse of Malik; I saw nothing but some blood on Bakura.
"Yes." He pulled me up by the hair and shoved me into the door. I tried not to cry out in pain as he spoke, "You're weak. You're stupid and pathetic, you're a curse from the gods, to think I believed you might become something; you couldn't even stand and fight me like a man; you ran, you're a coward and soon to be a dead one." He spat bitterly glaring. He pulled a knife and toyed with it, glancing the low light off it he played with the blade but kept one hand holding me back at all times, though if he had let go I would have barely been able to stand from exhaustion. "Will you scream? Of course you will," he laughed harshly, "Weak ones always scream, praying to their feeble gods that they might be saved, you won't be saved, there is no god!" he screamed I shuddered; " Just me, I hold your fate Ryou. Does that frighten you?" he paused and smiled wickedly at me, "It should, I am what the darkness itself fears. Why would something so weak as you not?"
"I don't fear you." I whispered defiantly. I am not weak, or pathetic. And I was not going to let him kill me I would stand up to him for Malik.
Cold blade pressed my throat, "What was that?" he shot.
8
And I feel sorry for you
Cause you don't bother me
8
"I don't fear you." I hissed trying to avoid the blade breaking my skin as I spoke; my words were a bluff, not the best choice I think but it was what my head gave me.
"I pity you; you're a monster who will die never having lived. You kill others because it makes you feel powerful…but you aren't are you?" Realization hit me and my words became stronger, surer that they were right instead of just made up. "No…you're the weak one Bakura." His eyes flickered in fear as my face took on a very evil look, I grinned as I felt power fill me. "Can you kill me Bakura? Carry out that threat?" My smile broadened and he looked uneasy.
"That's enough!" he shot, fear evident in his words and actions as he pressed the blade harder.
I laughed. I felt power rising though me, something so dark that it was light.
"Go on. Kill me."
8
And cause I'm in control now
I dare you to kill me
8
In the moment he paused I shoved him off and took his blade. Funny how fast things change.
"Now you're scared Bakura. I can see it. Frightened child is all you are…you shouldn't have played with the big boys if you couldn't keep up…" I smirked as I drew the blade along his arm, drawing a steady line of blood. He hissed in pain. It sounded… beautiful. Smiling, I took the other arm in my grip and drew, drew on the soft white flesh of his inner arm. Bones and muscles appeared and blood flowed freely. He let out strangled cries as I dug deep; too surprised to break free. When I released him; he looked at the mark.
Ryou
I slide behind him and looked at my art from over his shoulder, "You're weak, and you're mine. Just as I own the ring that has been your prison I own you. I own you Bakura; you're my slave now. Think of it as paying me back…" I felt the chills running up his spine. Perfect. I relished in delight at his fear.
"All you've done can be forgotten…
8
I've erased all your twisted ways
from my memory
and cause I'm in control
I dare you I dare you
8
"…for a price." I laughed. As I pulled back I ran the blade along his shoulders, cutting clear though the fabric of his shirt, red blood blossoming, he sank down as I walked out of the room, his beautiful blood staining the white carpet.
I smiled.
8
you're gonna have to kill me
8
"Goodnight my Yami."
I walked though the dark hallway, still one the high of what I'd just done. The brilliant blackness I felt holding me stayed, warm and cold; brilliant and dull, it was everything, life and death, beauty and -
"Help…" I heard a whimpering and my thoughts ended.
I stopped and looked at the door of my room ahead, and stepped closer listening.
"God someone help me I have to stop him……"
I pushed the door open slowly, the sight before me bloody and glistening.
Malik lay bound in the bed, which was bloody, also the floor and walls had splatters of blood on them, he turned to look at me.
"Are you back to finish me Bakura? Did you kill Ryou! Did you?" he raged as tears rolled from his eyes and mixed with blood.
"I am Ryou." I was stunned, Malik was…Alive?
"Mind games now? Trying to drive me crazy like you? Just stab me and be done with it." He laughed sharply but coughing overtook him.
I peered down to see the bloody dagger in my hands. Reality crashed down and it fell to the floor. My Darkness vanished like water down a drain. Gone in an instant, rationality replaced my paradise. My dark Eden,
"No…NO. I'm not him! I didn't do that!" I sank to the floor in shock…no, no I didn't just do that. I didn't do that to Bakura... I swear that wasn't me…
"Bakura…?"
"I'm not him!" I screamed, tears coming down. "I'm Ryou, I don't hurt people…I didn't do that…" shaky breathing took over as I fell silent eyes wide and tears pouring down.
"You are Ryou…" Malik said almost frightened.
My eyes shot to Malik. And I fully took in the state he was in, tears still falling I walked to his and untied his hands and feet. "I'll be right back..." I said slowly I grabbed the first aid kit and supplies from the bathroom and came back to him. "Let me help you." He nodded though reluctantly.
I pulled the remains of his shirt off and started washing the cuts and wiping blood off him.
" I'm sorry Malik," I whispered; " I never thought he'd hurt anyone else, I knew he'd come after me but never this…I wish I could take it back… but actually you'll be alright, shallow cuts, …course I know how much those hurt, they're all about the pain they heal up in a week though, there shouldn't even be any scarring..." I babbled; trying to keep my mind occupied.
"Where is he?" Malik interrupted.
I continued bandaging him in silence; I couldn't say it then that means I really am a monster like him.
"Ryou…" he said warningly.
"I can't ...I can't tell you..." my voice said, faltering.
He turned and held me so we faced each other; "Ryou what did you do to him?" fear and pity evident in his actions.
I turned my face away from him. I was shaking.
"I'm a monster..."
"No you aren't."
"I am!" I pulled away and ran from the room. I peered warily into the living room. I saw blood on the carpet. I had done it, I entered the now pitch black room and stared at the blood. I had done that, I had injured Bakura; claimed him by scarring his arm.
And I had enjoyed it.
I must be a demon.
"Well you did it Bakura, he fucking snapped." Marik observed. He looked the cuts that spelled out 'Ryou' on Bakura's arm.
"No. Not yet." Bakura replied.
"That's not snapped?" he raised an eyebrow and gestured towards the cuts. "Because I sure as hell would say so."
"Marik," he looked him in the eyes, "this is just the beginning." He said, almost smiling, "He's just starting to snap." He traced the cuts with a finger, "This is nothing… must be going, oh Malik should return soon enough once Ryou scares him."
"And you kept your word, he'll be fine?"
"I told you Malik was a bargaining chip, don't worry he isn't even scarred." Bakura swept from the house with a laugh.
I pushed the back door open and peered around; I saw no one and heard even less. I proceeded quietly, years of thievery serving me well; I was unsure of who or what I'd find. Ryou was sure to be in denial after the earlier episode and then there was Malik to think of. I stopped at the door of the living room; Ryou lay seemingly collapsed on the floor. I was intrigued and walked closer, I wondered if maybe he had fainted. I couldn't see his face though. Moonlight from the window set Ryou's hair glowing and was the only light, it set an eerie glow around the room.
"Don't come closer." Ryou said quietly.
So Ryou was awake. I stopped, out of surprise more than his request though.
Ryou rolled over so he faced me. Blood dripped down his face from a cut on his left cheek. A bloodied knife was still clutched in his hand. I stared at him, eyes wide I'm sure. I hadn't expected this.
"Why have I been cursed?" Ryou asked, pleading. He didn't wait for an answer, but rolled to face the ceiling now. He ran a hand over the cut and examined the knife in the moonlight. "Do you enjoy it too? Of course you do. Blood running, it's gorgeous, the pain feels good. Alive…I've become you. Just another demon in the world."
His last words pulled my out of my trance. Angered I dragged him to his feet roughly and faced him. "You think you're me? Ha. You're not even close." I spat. No way in hell. Ryou was more delusional than I thought.
"Are you sure? I'm not me anymore," he said shaking, "I remember, every time you hit me I wanted to forgive you, praying you'd change. I could forgive you, and I did then. But now…
8
I could forgive you
But then I would say that wouldn't I?
8
"I want to thank you." The shadow passed though Ryou again, the same one I had seen earlier. Darkness filled him and gave him strength, similar to myself only more volatile. "thank you for destroying my weakness. That cumbersome innocence…
8
I wasn't jaded back then
And I still had a twinkle in my eye
8
"you brought me into my place within the blinding light of the darkness. It's strange, you thought I'd break and die from you, instead, I become you…" he said with a soft laugh.
8
But funny how it is with a hand around your neck
And a pounding in your chest
8
"You're not there yet." I growled. He had the power again, I could tell, but I threw caution to the wind. I was never much for playing it safe anyway.
"And why not?" Ryou said annoyed.
8
What thoughts you have..
I haven't been to India yet
8
" You haven't been there," I walked slowly around Ryou; inspecting him almost, mostly I was trying to accentuate my point, " you still hold so much of your original purity, the true test of evil is to take a life, an innocent, pure life, cut it short feel it as their heart slows and death draws them away. Laugh and enjoy their pain. Watch death consume and relish in it as an innocent dies. You aren't ready for it. You could never do that." I reveled a moment enjoying memories before I stopped and meet eyes with Ryou once more before smirking and walking away.
I heard Ryou collapse to tears behind me. I smiled. Another bit of the boy's sanity had been crushed.
" I'm not him….I won't do that…." Ryou sobbed into my shoulder.
I had found Ryou sobbing on the floor from an encounter with Bakura, who seemingly disappeared. Again.
" Shah Ryou, I know…" I tried to soothe him, I had no idea what was going on other than it scared the shit out of him and me. This was Ryou, my sweet Ryou, he was supposed to be the innocent one.
" I'm not him! ….but I can't control it… I refuse to be him!" Ryou pulled away to looking my eyes; " Do you hear me! I'm not him! Malik listen to me!" he cried. Hands still clung to my arms.
" I know Ryou." I replied breathlessly, it was painful to watch Ryou like this.
"Hear me! I'm not like him!" Ryou was close to screaming, and anger ran though him.
I don't think he heard me words as I tried to calm him before he hit hysterics. "Ryou, it's okay, we'll get you though this. You're not Bakura. I understand."
"No you don't!" Ryou shoved me down; I lay for moment on the carpet then slowly sat up. Ryou stood and walked like a lost madman in the moonlight.
" You don't get it! He doesn't! I don't even get it! Tell me Malik what's happening to me?" tears streamed down his face in rivers. " Can you tell me?"
I was silent.
" Of course you can't! Don't lie and tell me it'll be alright! You can't know that!" he paused and turned away before speaking again, barely above a whisper this time, " Malik. there's something inside me, making me do these things, and I can't stop it…"
" You'll learn how, you can be stronger than that."
"No.." he shook his head. " I like it."
I froze, Ra tell me I misheard him.
"..I like it, I know it's wrong but I don't care. It's scary to lose control but I want it, Where I go…it's beauty personified; there's light so bright it's black, it's my Eden. I love it despite what I do while I'm there. I know I shouldn't, but I do. I'm sorry Malik…
8
And I feel sorry for you
Cause you don't bother me
8
" but I'm not safe to be around, you should go before I hurt you…"
"Ryou! Listen to me, I'm not going to leave you alone with this. "
"He's not alone." I turned to see who had spoken.
Bakura.
8
And cause I'm in control now
I dare you to kill me
8
"He'll never be alone, I'll be with him, kill me and I'll still be there haunting… Ryou's never alone."
"Bastard.." I muttered.
" I hate you…" Ryou pleaded; " go away, let me forget! YOU DID THIS TO ME!" Ryou screamed.
" I can't do that Ryou, only you can make me go away." Bakura smiled as sat down eye level to Ryou.; "Go on, kill me, you're stronger right? Isn't that what you said? …
8
I've erased all your twisted ways
from my memory
and cause I'm in control now
8
"You dared me to kill you, then said I wasn't able to…" Bakura grinned as Ryou shivered, frightened and repulsed by his memories. I sat unmoving, unsure of what I could even do… "Maybe I'm not, maybe you were right Ryou…
8
I dare you I dare you
you're gonna have to..
8
"Maybe I can't kill you…
8
I haven't been to India yet no
I haven't been to India yet
8
"…but there's no way you could kill me either." Bakura let out a laugh and rose, he gave Ryou one last look before leaving.
Ryou broke down, shivering, tears running down his face. I went to him; as I reached out he whirled at me and pressed me to the ground, hovering over me with a dark look in his eyes.
" Stay the hell away." He threatened though tears and shivers.
He dragged his nails down my cheek and I gasped in pain then, as they dug deep and the blood blossomed, I screamed.
I watched Malik flee and I wondered if his face would scar. I figured Ryou was pretty well snapped, hurting Malik? That was defiantly a step, I doubted his old self would remerge through the darkness that had consumed him.
Course I don't have the best instincts about him, never have.
I smirked and went to find Ryou, I wanted to see if I'd done it; turned and twisted his immaculate being. I wanted to see his old self broken and bleeding.
I leaned on the door frame to his bedroom, Ryou stood looking out the window.
"He tasted like honey." Ryou said distantly, not turning to acknowledge me.
I was confused and then realized – he was talking about Malik. I smirked, "Did you like?"
"Very much." He responded, then he looked at his hands, "It's all gone." He said sadly, "…no more crimson honey."
"There's better you'll find." I commented and walked forward, " I remember you always tasted like milk, smooth and nourishing." I turned my gaze from the window to his face, "I wonder what you taste like now."
Ryou turned and meet my gaze, "Only if I get to taste you." He smirked.
I returned the smirk, "Alright." And drawing a knife from my pocket I cut my palm, he did the same. The knife was dropped and palms lifted to mouths, I took a small taste. No longer was there milk but poison. It tasted somewhere between absinthe and hemlock, but left a sweet taste afterward.
In short it was pure dark bliss.
8
Free spirited young man
Why'd you have to grow
From a sparky little jewel
Into something so pointed gold
Cold feet
They took me on a runner
And now I can breathe
Cause I have the power-
8
Ecstasy rose, this intimate dark ritual sent us spiraling into new worlds.
I no longer felt or tasted the innocent Ryou. This man, yes man, standing with me was something far more exciting and dangerous. Something that rivaled my power at it's height.
Entwined in a vampiric feast of bliss, with this new creature was more than my wildest dreams or nightmares could have imagined.
I felt a slight weakness course though me but ignored it, only wanting more.
The blood flow ebbed and we broke apart, eyes locked and slight panting. We just stood for a moment.
" You taste like dead roses." Ryou said softly.
"And you like?" I asked seductively.
I received a lustful look and nod for an answer before I was thrown onto the bed.
Our screams could be heard all night.
I watched as my body threw Bakura down and attacked his lips. I didn't feel it though.
I don't feel anything right now.
It's like I don't –
8
And I feel sorry for you
Cause you don't bother me
And cause I'm in control now
I dared you to kill me
I've erased all your twisted ways
from my memory
And cause I'm in control now
I dare you, I dare you,
You're gonna have to kill me.
8
There was no dawn that morning. There was no morning.
I remember it clearly. It seemed the world had given up, if Ryou could be so transformed what hope was there the rest of the pathetic mortals?
His name is not Ryou anymore.
Ryou is dead.
I killed him.
Fin
I would like to state I am not insane or highly disturbed. Please don't tell me I am. this was an odd little idea that developed very darkly during late night writes.
Reviews are appreciated. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows.
