Important: Same as the last two, by now hopefully you know ;)
Disclaimer: Nothing … one day when I take over the world, but nothing right now.
Authors note: Cha Totally …
Reviewers:
Haldir's Heart: You are not mad at my plot twist are you? Or are you just frustrated that Galadriel and Celeborn are acting so idiotically? Whatever the case may be, thank you for reviewing … it is very interesting. Hopefully you keep reading, Smile.
KurandRobGirl: Well thank you, it is nice to see a new name on the review list. Keep up reading and reviewing, thanks!
Haldir: You know who you are, thank you, gave me warm and fuzzy bats in my stomach, I'm leaking … so glad that you still read, we must do funny stories soon! Simply must. You should finish YOUR story. Talk to you later, Old Sport.
Luthien: LOL, thanks I wanted to put up the idea that this whole house arrest thing is not that bad, and to give some of my readers a laugh. Don't worry, Haldir will think of some way to get out of this arrest thing. Keep reviewing.
Chapter 25: Band of Brothers
Haldir was awoken by two very annoying voices in the morning hours, growling at the mocking of the two.
"Captain, Oh Captain. Sleeping Beauty …" Rumil's voice teased as Haldir felt his blankets pulled off of him.
Haldir growled, he did not feel well enough to put up with this, nor did he wish to. Not to minchin the fact that he had two very cheerful idiots in his sleeping quarter calling him 'Sleeping Beauty.'
"Be silent, and go away!" Haldir growled into his pillows.
"Do you not feel well?" Orphin asked with a hidden worry in his tone.
"No," Haldir hissed as he snatched the pillow that Rumil was slowly pulling away from him.
Rumil stepped back and looked at Orphin.
"It is not what you are thinking; I simply obtained no sleep last night that is all." Haldir said as he sat up.
Rumil immediately burst out laughing, as Orphin tried to conceal a smile.
Haldir glared, "What are the two of you idiots laughing at?" he snarled.
Both Rumil and Orphin stopped laughing long enough to both mutter, "You."
Haldir got up and moved to the mirror. Closing his eyes in annoyance he realized what was so funny. Half of his night shirt had somehow been tucked into his breaches during the night while the other half hung loosely down, his usually neat and perfectly arranged hair was tussled and most of it stood up in a lick on the side of his head.
The eldest elf let out a sigh of torment and quickly pulled his shirt up and fixed his hair in two quick motions. Slowly Haldir turned and sat back down on his bed, both brothers still silently laughing.
"I suppose that you herd?" Haldir asked.
"Yes. Couldn't keep to yourself, could you?" Rumil said with a grin. Orphin swung out his elbow into the youngest rib, to not offend there brother, but Haldir was already smiling.
"Apparently not." He said glumly.
"Ah cheer up. You'll shortly be cleared." Orphin said.
Haldir just shook his head.
"It is not that." He said sullenly.
Rumil and Orphin both glanced and knew strait off what Haldir's sadness was about.
"She is not wroth it brother. So do not let her get to you." Orphin broke the silence.
"No you are right; I shall not let her get to me." Haldir murmured.
"Good. So … we can't go anywhere." Orphin said.
"It is exactly like when we were elflings! Only I am not leaving surprises in my undergarments, Orphin, you're not biting on your toes, and Haldir is not drooling as much." Rumil snorted getting a fleet of pillows and one knife throne at him.
"Are you certain that you are not still making a mess in your breaches, brother?" Haldir sniffed, personally offended at the drooling remark.
"Indeed and I was not the one who bit his toes, it was you." Orphin snorted.
Rumil glared at the both of them.
"Well what are we going to do?" Orphin whined restlessly.
"No clue, I usually am not in arrest." Haldir shrugged feeling better as the sun climbed into the sky.
"A game?" Rumil offered.
"What kind?" Orphin said, frustrated.
"Chess?" Haldir offered.
"Haldir, you are March Warden and captain of the LothLorien guard! I would think that you above all other guards would know how to count by now, there are three of us. See my dear brother this number is three…" Rumil stated, raising three fingers into the air. "… Chess is a game for two people, see this is two …" Rumil began to raise two fingers into the air.
"Raise those fingers and you shall only have three on that hand …" Haldir hissed.
Orphin smiled as his brother quickly pulled his fingers into a fist.
"We could play …" Orphin was cut off but Rumil,
"Spin the bottle!" Rumil shouted as if he had found the cure for a cold.
Both Haldir and Orphin began to shout there disagreement.
"We shall NOT play that, Rumil." Orphin growled. "I refuse, and there are no maidens present."
"We could play …" Rumil started again but Haldir was the one to cut in this time.
"No. you have been officially removed from trying to figure out what we shall play." Haldir stated.
"How about a game of cards?" Orphin suggested.
"Fine, that shall keep us busy at least some of the time." Haldir nodded.
"That's not fair! You two are better at it than I am!" Rumil whined.
"Neither of us really care." Orphin laughed.
A week had passed, of nothing but card playing and … well … card playing. Haldir had become progressively lazier and did not seem to care about that. Nothing had been said, so he was still under house arrest, and he was becoming increasingly tired of his brothers.
"So …" Orphin asked Haldir as they sat at the window and watched the rain poor.
"what." Haldir growled.
"Nothing …" Orphin said realizing the contempt in his brother's voice.
"I am going to bed." Haldir stated and left the room, slamming his door in the process.
"Notice how he has gotten?" Rumil asked.
"Indeed. This house arrest business is really getting to him." Orphin agreed.
"He has gained weight too, and not the wonderful muscly kind, the kind that the mortal kings accomplish on getting. Our brother never has acted like this… never. We must do something." Rumil cried.
"Yes, and that wait that he gained went strait to his gut, I bet he couldn't run even if his life depended on it." Orphin said as the two laughed.
"Galadriel is to come tonight. All she said was that she had good news." Rumil said with hope.
"Galadriel will be surprised by Haldir's new look I dare say." Orphin muttered.
"Indeed, oh well, it is his own fault if you think of it." Rumil said.
"Well I do not know about that, but he will have to train a bit harder once he can get back to the fields. Pudginess is not the best thing for an elf, and least of for a Captain of an army." Orphin said.
"True to that statement, let us retire to our own homes." Rumil sniffed as they both left.
Ok that was my attempt at a funny chapter … I do not think that I do comedy very well but please tell me if you liked it, if you didn't … well review please! Thanks for reading!