I was walking through the park one day admiring the scenery, and all of a sudden a purple dragon popped out of the air in front of me. "Where are you from?" I asked, "What are your origins?"
"I am my own origins," exclaimed the dragon, "I created myself." I looked puzzled.
"It is impossible for someone to create themselves," I said, "It is irrational. For anyone to do anything, first they must exist. If they do not exist, they cannot commit actions. Something must exist before it can create, and if it did not originally exist, then it would not have the opportunity to create and therefore it would be impossible for it to create itself. For example, if I wanted to get to my car that was 25 miles away from me, I would not drive to it. I would have to be at my car before I could drive it. Do people get to the airport by flying there from home? If someone needed money for a college degree that would let them make money as a doctor, do they work for four years for the college money as a doctor? Of course not. For a person to practice medicine, they must first have a degree. To get this degree, they must have gone through college, which requires money. One method of acquiring money, and a large sum of money, would be to practice medicine, but before one can practice medicine, they must have the degree required for it, which they do not."
"But certainly," said the purple dragon, "I exist and therefore, there must be a creator that created me from nothing, right?"
"Not necessarily," I said, "All the tests and trials that have been conducted within history have concluded that it is impossible for something to be created from nothing. It is the first law of Thermodynamics or the Conservation of Energy. Matter, although it may be transformed into energy and back again, cannot be destroyed or created. It is an impossibility. Does 1 + 1 ever 3, for an addition of more matter created? Does 1 + 1 ever 1, for a subtraction of less matter created? Things are not created from absolutely newly created substances. Substance has always existed and always will, although it may be transformed into energy and back again. When someone creates something, that means that they molded it from pre-existing materials. There is nothing that has been created 'from nothing'. Everything comes from a pre-existing material."
"I created logic, though," said the purple dragon, "Although it may be irrational and definitely illogical for me to pop up from midair, since I created logic, I can break the laws of logic, right?"
"The laws of logic are created to be obeyed," I said, "Once these laws of logic have been created, they must be obeyed. It is indeed illogical for something to be created for nothing. However, once these laws of logic have been created, they must be obeyed. In nature, the regularity of logic is consistent within everything. For something to be illogical is for something to be nonexistent. You may very well have created the laws of logic, just as an inventor could have invented an invention. However, to create the laws of logic is suicide. Someone invented the gun, but simply because they invented the gun doesn't mean they're immune to bullets. A collection of people invented the nuclear bomb, but that does not mean they are immune to nuclear warfare. A famous doctor invented the guillotine, but having invented the guillotine does not mean that the famous doctor is immune to it."
"But I can do anything," the purple dragon said, "I am omnipotent and omniscient. I can do all and I know all."
"That's a contradiction in itself," I said, "If you can do anything, can you limit yourself? Can you make a wall so high that you cannot jump over it? Can you make a rock so big you cannot lift it? Can you make a picture so small you cannot see it? Can you make a whisper so soft that you cannot hear it? Can you make a being more powerful and more knowing than yourself? Can you make a married bachelor? Can you make a live corpse? Can you make a circular square? You cannot. If you could, you would not be omnipotent and you would be illogical. If you couldn't, you would still not be omnipotent and it would also throw you into the confines of illogic."
"I must have had a creator, then," said the purple dragon.
"Not necessarily. The natural process of Evolution and Natural Selection molds most of the world. If you are so magnificent of a specimen that you yourself need an even more magnificent creator, then I could call that magnificent creator so magnificent that he needs a creator. And that creator, too, needs a creator and so does that creator, ad infinitum."
"But certainly!" exclaimed the purple dragon, "I exist now! Do you not talk to me? Do we not exchange conversation?"
"Granted," I said, "We do exchange conversation and we do talk, but you're simply an idea limited to paper and computer screen, whereas I am a true physical being. I created you, molded you, even, from previously existing ideas and brought you to life on paper. You exist simply as an idea. You are no more real than Communism, Patriotism, or Nominalism. And you are no more alive than Spock or Captain Kirk."
"Well," said the purple dragon, "What happens now?"
"Your creation has left a void in the adjacent area. If the physics are correct," I said, "Then your body will try to fill the void. This void will pull you in, as it is now a vacuum. Your entire body will be sucked into it in two nanoseconds and your body will explode, sending your head five miles, your arms one mile and two miles, and your legs will remain connected but will fly seven miles."
"That's not true physics," said the purple dragon.
I said, "It is in my story!"
(I know, I know, not very interesting, but whatever...)