From the Desk of Lizzy Rebel

Gasp! Dare I believe it? Has EWfS actually been… updated… on time? I now, this is so amazing that it tickles my spleen! Told I wanted this done!

Chapter Thirty Eight- Plans

Buffy was having a dream. Or a vision. She couldn't be sure. All she knew was that she was once again in the crypt. Her scythe was clutched in her hands and she could feel the blood running down her arm.

She turned and saw Colossus battling Jake, the sword given to him by Bain glowing. She heard Kitty cry out in pain as she fought the Tora-Kone. Something rushed by her and collapsed to its knees. She wheeled around, scythe raised above her head to attack whatever enemy had landed besides her.

But she saw Sidney with tear-filled eyes. Her hands were cupped into front of her face and she seemed to be concentrating on only what in front of her, leaving her very venerable. Instantly, Buffy knew she was meant to keep this girl from harm that would be given to her by the Tora-Kone. She turned to where Sidney was concentrating her powers.

"Oh my God," Buffy whispered and almost stepped back, but her feet would not obey her.

Standing in front of her was a young woman with fiery red hair covering her face. Buffy knew instantly it was Jean Gray. There were long gashes on her arms and up her legs as if a talon had been drawn across them. Her limbs were bound to the stone she was laid on. And she was so still. So very still.

But Buffy was more concerned on the thing looming over her. It had hell-fire skin and long, jagged black horns standing out from the top of its head. It had long black talons hued red from blood. She knew that was what had caused the wound on her arm. Its eyes were jade green, like Jake's, and its body was scaly like a reptile. She saw a long, red tail swish back and forth from behind it.

Lord Deltoramina.

Around her were cries of her team, Colossus and Kitty, fighting courageously but she couldn't see them. She didn't know what was happening to them, though she heard their cries of pain.

And then at her side she heard Sidney whisper to her, "I'm ready." She heard the tears in her voice.

Her lips moved on their own accord and she found herself shouting, "NOW!" Out of nowhere Deltoramina was slammed into the ground by an invisible force. At first, Buffy couldn't tell what had caused it but then she slowly began to see the three figures holding it down. One at the neck, the other two at the hands.

Jack, Ann and Eve…

"I'm so sorry," Sidney whispered and then howled in pain. A blinding white light came from her body and whished at Lord Deltoramina. The demon king howled in pain and his body slowly dissolved. He tried to break free from the spell Sidney was casting but he was held down by Jack, Ann and Eve.

Lord Deltoramina was being exorcised.

Sidney slumped against her from exhaustion and the Slayer saw that Lord Deltoramina was no more. But where…?

And Buffy knew.

Buffy's eyes snapped open. Her breathing came in soft, deep ragged breathes. The room she was in was pitch black and she didn't register the soft bed beneath her or the warm body besides her. For a moment she panicked and thrashed in horror, thinking she was trapped in the cold, cold Earth.

But then Colossus moved besides her and cupped her face. She relaxed against him and willed her body to stop its tremors. Colossus massaged her back and she curled against his warmth, trying to draw it into her cold Buffy.

"Buffy. Buffy, what's wrong?" Colossus said in his husky voice and Buffy raised her head to look at him though she couldn't see his face in the dark. "You were screaming in your sleep."

Buffy shuddered at the memory, but at the same time she recognized its value. "Bad dream," she mumbled and Colossus sighed against her head, touching his lips to her hair.

Buffy thought about the dream and almost sighed as well. There was something there, something that was telling her how to defeat Lord Deltoramina, but she shuddered at the thought of what it meant. She didn't want to do it that way, she didn't want that to happen but she knew, deep inside her bosom she knew, it was the only way. There was only one way to defeat Lord Deltoramina.

"Buffy?" Colossus said again.

Buffy frowned and touched the hard plains of his face. It soothed her, gave her strength. "I think I may know how to defeat Lord Deltoramina."

Colossus stilled against her in shock and then ran his hands through her hair, lovingly. "What is it? Did you dream about it? Is that why you screamed?"

"Yes to the two latter questions." Her scowl deepened. "And for the former… well, it will work but… but… I dunno… I dunno if I can do that. I don't know if I'm willing enough."

"Do what?"

Buffy curled against, pressing her full weight against him and felt strengthened when she felt his arms wrap around her waist. She sighed softly and told him.

--&--

"Sidney." Blinking in surprise, Sidney turned to see Buffy, Willow and Colossus making their way to her.

"I wonder what they want," Jack said at her side, hand on her shoulder. Sidney shook her head in an answer and leaned into him. Jack wrapped his hands around her waist.

Eve rolled her eyes and snarled at them, hating to admit she was jealous of their love. "God, you two disgust me. Ever since you guys starting boinking each other it's been nonstop fluffiness. I'm getting sick."

Ann, at Eve's side, looked up at her with confusion and said in an innocent child voice, "What… is… boinking?" Eve flushed and looked away.

"You are too young to… ah… 'understand'. Let's leave it at that, kid," Eve said hastily, ignoring the glares sent to her by Sidney and Jack.

"Oh… okay," Ann said happily and looped her small, pale hand into Eve's. Eve frowned and looked ready to jerk her hand away, but then she shrugged and allowed Ann to hold on though she didn't hold back.

Eve was a Slayer, after all.

"Sometimes you make me wonder," Sidney muttered and Jack nodded in agreement.

"Wonder what?" Ann said, looking over at them with wide eyes.

"Yet again, over your head." Eve muttered and the ghost-girl dropped it.

And then Buffy, Willow and Colossus reached them and Sidney knew instantly this was not a social call. It was written on their faces. Both Buffy and Colossus's were set in a grim line of determination and Willow's held grief. She looked over at Sidney almost apologetically. Sidney cupped Jack's hand, not caring if it looked odd to the normal eye.

"Sidney…" Buffy sighed,

"What is it?" Sidney asked. "Shouldn't you be getting ready to head to the crypt? I thought you were going today." Sidney didn't mention that she wanted desperately to come, to help. Buffy had enough on her plate; Sidney didn't need to add to it.

"It's about that," Buffy said and looked away, her eyes narrowed as if she was trying to see the ghosts. "I've come up with a plan to defeat Lord Deltoramina. From what I can tell it's foolproof, but it'll take a lot of sacrificing on yours and Willow's parts," Buffy explained and Sidney brightened.

She'd be able to help? That was all Sidney wanted to do. Contribute to Buffy's team and now it seemed like she could. "I'd be willing to do anything to keep Lord Deltoramina from taking over the Earth. You know that, Buffy."

But Jack was frowning, sensing something. Eve and Ann were exchanging glances. One worried and nervous the other perfectly neutral.

"I know," Buffy said softly and then looked over at Colossus who nodded. The Slayer continued, "But there's more, Sidney. I… I need to tell you all… all of it."

Sidney was blinking again, looking between the Slayer and her lover. "Ah… what is it? You can tell me."

"Come with me," Buffy said grimly and took Sidney's hand. She, Colossus and Willow led Sidney, Jack, Ann and Eve down the hall of the Xavier Institute to the library. The only room that was empty in the whole building. They walked in and Buffy motioned them to sit down.

Sidney felt numbness come over her as she took her seat. She looked at Buffy point-blank and said emotionlessly, "What is going on?"

"What would you be willing to sacrifice to save the world?" Buffy asked, leaning her palms against the hardwood table Sidney was sitting at.

Sidney looked into Buffy's calm eyes and thought the Slayer was talking about her life. "Anything and everything."

Buffy sighed, lowered her head as if in defeat, and then sat down in the chair. Colossus leaned over her and placed a hand over her shoulder. Buffy touched it gingerly and then looked into Sidney's eyes. "Let me tell you about my plan."

And then explaining began.

--&--

"No," was the only thin she could manage fifteen minutes later.

Sidney's eyes widened as Buffy finished her explanation of the daring plan she had put together. Behind her Eve was pale, Ann was trembling, and Jack was looking at the Slayer with ice in his eyes.

Then Sidney stood from her chair in shock and caused it to topple over to the floor. Buffy lowered her head in defeat again, as if she had expected Sidney to react like that all along. Sidney's lips trembled and she shook her head in horror.

"How can you ask me to do that?" She demanded in a choked whisper. "How can you sit there so calmly and tell me what I have to do to save this world? HOW CAN YOU?"

Buffy didn't raise her head to look at Sidney, who now had tears streaming down her face. "I wouldn't ask it of you unless I was willing to do it myself. Sidney, I know how you feel—" The Slayer was caught off by another outburst.

"How can YOU understand?" Sidney demanded and Jack reached out to calm her but she jerked away. "Do you have any idea what that is going to feel like? Have you done it? Could you do it?"

"Yes," Buffy said, looking up now and allowing Sidney to see into her eyes, into her soul.

She wasn't lying.

That just made Sidney all the more frustrated. She paced away, throwing her hands up in raw anger. "Do you know what you're asking, Buffy? Do you know what will happen? What it'll be like? How could you know?"

Willow stepped forward to defend Buffy. "Listen, I know this must hurt. I know how it feels. I've been there, but this isn't something Buffy would do if there was another way. This is the only hope of saving our world."

Sidney's eyes narrowed and she shook her head fiercely. "You ask too much, Willow. I cannot… I just can't."

"But what about your ghosts, Sidney?" Colossus spoke for the first time in the past hour of explanations. "What are your ghosts willing to give? Ask them."

"They don't—" Sidney began but she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned her head and looked into Jack's deep, deep eyes.

"Sidney, you have not asked us. This plan of the Slayer involves us more so than you. It is our sacrifice. And, I for one, am willing to give it if it means keeping this Earth and you alive," Jack said calmly.

Willow blinked at him in surprise and then turned to Buffy and Colossus and translated because Sidney, in rage and tears, wouldn't do it.

"I am willing to," Eve said, stepping forward to Sidney's side. "You are a fool. I have a right to make my choices. I chose revenge. I'll make that Jake bastard pay for killing me. This is ample opportunity." She slammed her fist into her opened palm.

Ann looked up at the trembling Sidney and smiled softly, as if to soothe. "I'm not afraid, Sidney. Maybe that's why I was meant to stay here."

"Ann," Sidney said softly, her eyes moist. "You don't understand. If you agree to do this… to go through with this plan then you'll—"

"We know what it means, Sidney," Jack said, looking at his lover with hard eyes. "You just don't want us to understand, but we do. We're dead, not dumb. We are willing and it's our choice."

Sidney cursed and looked away from her chargers, almost resenting them. Buffy looked at her with knowing eyes.

"They said yes didn't they?"

"And if they did?" Sidney lowered her head and her shoulders slumped. "Fine, you win Buffy. I can't make Jack and Eve and Ann not do it and it will save the world… but… I don't know how you'll live with this. Live with what you've done."

Buffy looked at Sidney and she knew that the Slayer wouldn't live with it. It was one of the things that would haunt her for the rest of her life. It almost made Sidney feel sorry for her. Almost, but not quite. She was still doing this.

Buffy stood, as if she knew Sidney wanted to be alone, and said, "We'll… we'll leave you now. We'll be leaving for the crypt in an hour, Sidney. We just need to get ready. And then we're going."

Sidney didn't nod, didn't acknowledge her. She turned her head to the side so she did not have to look at the Slayer. Buffy sighed and she and Colossus walked out. Willow looked at Sidney with sympathy, opened her mouth to say something, then shook her head. The Witch, who was a big part of this plan, turned and walked out.

Eve looked over at Jack, who motioned her to leave. She grabbed Ann's hand and said harshly, "Let's go, kid. The morons need their 'alone time'."

"Uh-huh," Ann said with confusion on her face.

Jack looked at Sidney sadly, but she didn't look over at him. She couldn't look at him. She would break into a million pieces if she did. She would cry and cry and she didn't think she would be able to stop. Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. She gasped when she felt the cold hand take them and flatten them out. She looked over at Jack with sad eyes.

"If I thought there was another way, Sidney, I would take it. Do you think I want to leave you now? Now when we're finally together?" Jack said.

Sidney looked away and knew, deep inside herself, she could change her mind. All she had to do was tell him what she had begun to suspect a night ago. What she had awaken to knowing this morning when their bodies had still been tangled. All she had to do was tell him about what was inside of her and he would break.

And she would hate herself for it. If she forced Jack to stay, and Buffy managed to save the world, Jack would come to resent her and what they made. What they were together. She couldn't have that.

If you love something enough, you let it go.

"Jack," Sidney said softly. "You do what you feel you have to do. I won't ask you to go against what you feel. Just… just don't forget that I love you, Jack. That you're a part of me. Don't forget me."

Jack dragged her into his arms and she broke down and sobbed into them. Jack stroked her hair and kissed her pale top. "Sidney, bella, I love you, too. I don't want to go. I'll never forget this, you, what we have, any of this. I swear."

Sidney burrowed her head deeper into his chest so the words that were on the tip of her tongue didn't come out. She wouldn't tell him, wouldn't burden him anymore then he already was. He needed to do this, Eve and Ann needed to do this. She had no right to hold them back. She would keep this secret.

Sidney shook her head and pulled away from him. She smiled weakly up at him and stroked his cheek. "You should get ready, Jack. It… it will be painful at first but… but only for a little while."

"Sidney—" Jack opened his mouth and she saw he was trying to say goodbye. She shook her head and pressed a finger to his trembling lips.

"Just go," she said and Jack pressed a kiss to her lips. Tears flowed down her face as Jack turned and walked out of the room, her life. She didn't pull him back.

But she didn't say goodbye.

Hm? Can ya'all guess the plan. I bet you can. But I won't tell you what it is until later. Don't worry though, we're almost done. Next chapter Buffy and the team go to the crypt again for the final showdown. Are you excited?

Hellmouth2: XD you're such a flattering, you. And you're story totally rocks. It just takes me awhile to review it. I'm lazy, can't ya tell? But anyone, I don't mind if you say my fic rocks because I'm a flattery whore!

flying alien: I only read one or two X-Men comics with Colossus in them (and he was a minor character) and I tried to combine the personality I got from that with the X-Men: Evo Colossus (we see so little of him). Thus, I got this Colossus. And I love him, too! He f-ing rocks!

"Your mother is a French-Canadian whore!"

-Lizzy Rebel