Kara woke up slowly and felt the cold of the brig filter through her bones. She shut her eyes for a moment before turning to check on Lee. His pulse was strong, and she thanked the gods that he was all right. It had been a stupid mistake to let herself fall asleep. She was supposed to be watching over him. For all she knew, he had been drifting in and out of consciousness this whole time. He could have been crying out for her to help him, and she was just too tired to hear.
It took her by surprise when Lee pulled her against his body. She could feel his breath tickling the back of her neck as he leaned in to nuzzle her. "Sweet," he whispered.
Obviously the whole 'crying in pain for her' theory was out the window. It seemed more likely he would have been crying out in some sex-starved frenzy.
It was nice to feel him close. She felt safe again.
Kara let herself enjoy Lee's possessiveness for a moment. Then the little voice of reason in the back of her head pointed out that he probably shouldn't be using his fingers to hold her down, and she did her best to push away.
"Warm," he protested, tightening his hold on her. She felt a bandaged hand slid up beneath her shirt, and she had to bite back the urge to gasp. "Soft." The ripped material from her sweats brushed against the side of her breast. She bit down on her bottom lip as a shiver ran through her. She had to remind herself that Lee wasn't awake. He didn't realize what he was doing. Frak, he would probably start feeling the pain in a few seconds. Then he would stop. She didn't really have to say a word. His hand moved a few inches to the right, and she bit back a gasp.
"You should wake him up, Thrace," she hissed as her rationality kicked in. "He doesn't know it's you." Yet when his hand smoothed its way over her stomach, she couldn't stop him. She felt her body curl in against his before she could fight the urge. It had been so long since someone had touched her so tenderly.
As he danced teasingly around old battle scars, Kara felt the lull of sleep slowly pulling her back in. There was something soothing in having Lee's hands on that particular part of her body. It made her feel guilty about never telling him where exactly the scars had come from. He would have understood.
When his hands reached the waistband of her pants, it occurred to her she should be afraid. Only a few hours earlier, someone had had their hands on her just like Lee and she had definitely not been relaxed then. She had heard stories from the other women on Pegasus. They had warned her at every opportunity that she wouldn't leave this ship without having some sort of damage done to her. Yet she couldn't sense the scars they said would be there. It was like it had never even happened.
"Feel so good." Lee's voice was a husky whisper in her ear. His hand slipped past the her underwear, and Kara jolted awake. In the process, she happened to push against Lee's fingers with most of her weight. His cry made her wince in empathetic pain.
"Oh gods, Lee. I'm sorry," she whispered, immediately pulling the bandages off as carefully as she could. His fingers still looked fine. She hadn't damaged any of the fractures, and it actually looked like the bruising was coming in nicely. That meant she hadn't missed anything while resetting his hands. The gods must have listened when she prayed for their help. "I can't believe I let myself forget," she scolded, taking her time to gently rewrap his fingers.
As soon as she was finished, Lee pulled himself up off the ground to sit against the wall. She could still see him struggling to get his wits. He looked down at the bandages and then over at Kara and then back down again. He let out a small groan. "Tell me why it hurts so much."
She decided the pain must have made him black some things out. His mind had shut out the things he wasn't ready to deal with. "You had five broken fingers."
"Had?"
Kara shrugged and leaned next to him on the brig wall. "I fixed them."
Lee stared down at his fingers for a moment before looking over at her. "You did this?"
"Everyone has a skill." Comfortable silence hung between them for a moment before Kara asked, "How bad do they hurt?"
"All things considered? Not that bad. And I can tell you that my hands really didn't hurt at all a few minutes ago." He shut his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall, and let out a small chuckle. "They were definitely far from hurting. Sorry about that, by the way. I guess the pain threw me off a little."
"You didn't realize it was me," Kara volunteered in his defense.
Lee opened his eyes and twisted to look at her. "No, that wasn't it. I just forgot what they tried to do to you," he corrected. "I probably scared you half to death."
Kara wasn't sure how to take that. Was he trying to say he knew it was her that he was touching with the precision of a god? If he knew, then did Lee actually think his touch would be anything but welcome to her? Even after everything that happened to him, was he actually concerned only with what happened to her? And when it came to Lee, why was everything so fraking confusing all the time?
Taking a deep breath, she was happy to say there was at least one thing that wasn't confusing. "I wasn't afraid," she whispered, leaning her head to rest on his shoulder. "When it comes to you, I don't think that's even possible."
"Good." Lee let out a deep sigh. "So, I'm starving. Any chance of getting me some food?"
Kara had no idea how he could joke through the pain, but it was appreciated nonetheless. Laughing, she gave him a soft punch in the arm. "We're not on Cloud 9 here, Lee. I don't think room service is an option."
He nodded. "How long do you think they're going to keep us in here?"
"I don't know. The charges they have on me should keep me here at least a few weeks. I'm not sure what they've cooked up for you." Kara shrugged. "It could be anything from drunken disorderly to complete mutiny and insubordination. Something tells me Cain is going to want to make an example of you."
"You mean she hasn't already been doing that?"
"You do have a point." Kara sighed and pulled herself to her feet. She threw a glance over her shoulder as she went to rest her hands on the brig bars. "Do you miss her?"
Lee didn't have to ask Kara what she was referring to. "Yeah, I think I do. It's odd because she was never really my home like she was my father's. In fact, for years, I cursed her name. She's what kept him away from Zak and me. Then the end of the world happened, and I saw why you and my dad love her so much. She's not like other girls." Kara gave a small chuckle, and Lee couldn't help himself. "Kind of like another girl I know."
Kara could feel her cheeks blushed, and she wondered how the frak Lee could still make her embarrassed even after everything they've been through. She took a seat on the cot and did her best not to look at Lee. Things had been so strange between them since they got reassigned. At first, she thought it was just the new scenery of Pegasus and the fact that they really had no one to rely on except each other. She had to work through a lot of self-doubt and denial to get herself to admit the shift in their relationship would have happened even if they hadn't been reassigned. Things were different now that the Twelve Colonies were gone. Barriers that had always been there were suddenly gone.
Lee carefully picked himself off the ground and, after a slight hesitation, sat down next to Kara on the cot. She felt his shoulder brush against hers and knew he was gearing up to say something important. He always made that worried face when it was important. "It scared me to death, you know. I've never seen you give up like that."
It took Kara a minute to realize what he was talking about. She always seemed to have a haze about her when Lee was around. It kept her from focusing. The sound of his voice made her forget about being rational. She hated it.
"Why did you give up, Kara?"
She thought about lying for a second. Maybe it would be easier that way. But then the words started coming out and there was nothing she could do to stop them. "I wanted to fight, but it was just too much. You and I have been fighting to keep me safe since the second we stepped on this ship, and it's so fraking ridiculous that a woman like Admiral Cain would let this kind of thing go on. She's not a complete monster, no matter what everyone says. The world ended, and the survival of thousands of colonists was on her shoulders alone. There was no one to help. She did what she had to in order to keep her crew alive."
"Are you trying to validate what they did to you?"
She shook her head. "Things have gotten out of hand. She's just one woman."
The cell fell into silence, and Lee realized he couldn't really argue with her. The Galactica had made some hard choices after the destruction of the Twelve Colonies. He had made some hard choices. He didn't agree with the blind eye Admiral Cain had for her soldiers, and he probably never could. But he was just as conflicted as Kara. He couldn't figure out what Cain's ultimate goal was, and it worried him.
He let out a long sigh. He had never been this introspective before. Maybe it was the pain talking. His fingers hurt so much that the pain was starting to numb him or maybe the broken ribs and possible concussion were clearing his head for once.
"Why is this happening to us?" Kara asked.
She sounded so small and frightened. It broke Lee's heart. "I don't know," he answered, the sadness heavy in his voice. He regretted many thing he had done since he lost his home. Innocent people had been left behind when he convinced the President to leave civilian ships during the initial attacks. Thousands had died when he fired on the Olympic Carrier. His pilots took a heavy hit when he lead the attack on the tylium refinery. He had angered the gods, and he knew he probably deserved whatever punishment they gave. But Kara had done nothing wrong. She didn't deserve this.
"Please tell me what happened in that bunkroom," Lee whispered.
Kara took a deep breath. She wished she had more time, but it seemed like Lee wasn't going to drop this until he got some answers. "I gave up because I'm tired of not being able to relax. Every moment of every day, I'm on guard. It's exhausting, and I don't understand why. All I know is it hurts. Cain and Taylor have personally kept me from being in the sky the way I need to be. You know I can't breathe when I'm caged in like that. It's the kind of girl I am. I was raised to want to be free. I just wanted to be free again." Kara could feel her chest tightening, and she had to force herself to look over at the man beside her for this last little bit.
"There's more to it than just wanting to be free," Lee whispered. "You don't have to be afraid to tell me, Kara."
He watched her eyes fill with tears as she gave him a brave smile. "That's what I was afraid of. Is there nothing that could happen to make you realize that I'm just a burden on you?" Kara pushed the tears away with the back of her hand. "I should be stronger than this. I hate that I have to lean on you."
Lee tried to be mindful of his hurt fingers as he put his arm around Kara and drew her in. It looked like she had been hurt by what happened after all. "I don't mind, Kara. I've told you that time and time again."
"I know that. It's just… you shouldn't have to watch over me every hour of every day. It isn't fair to you."
"Kara, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want to." He pushed himself back against the wall and pulled her body to rest between his legs. He always took a chance when he tried to offer her physical comfort like this. She was just as likely to slug him as to appreciate the gesture. For some reason, he didn't think she would hit him this time. "You are a strong woman, but even strong women need to lean on someone every once in a while. It doesn't make you weak or any less amazing. Frankly, I feel honored that you've let me see that side of you."
Kara tucked herself into a small ball in his arms and relaxed against him with a soft sigh. He always knew exactly what to say to make everything all right. It was no wonder she trusted him so much. He refused to give up on her even when she had given up on herself.
It felt good to have him supporting her again. Those few hours when she had to be strong enough for both of them were exhausting. She had no clue how Lee had done it for so long. "Thank you for trying to protect me," she said softly. "I know you had to give up a lot."
"What do you mean?" Lee asked, even though he already knew the answer.
"I was the sole reason Cain and Taylor kept you off Vipers, and we both know it."
"Flying Vipers means nothing to me compared to knowing you're safe. I was not just going to sit by and let those frakers do whatever the hell they felt like. You're too important."
He felt her shake her head against him. "Lee, it's going to happen. They're going to let us out of here at some point, and the pilots are going to try again."
Lee's grip tightened around her body, and he ignored the jolt of pain it caused. "I don't want to ever hear you say that. I don't care what it takes. That's not going to happen."
Kara kept her eyes focused on the ground until Lee's hands tilted her chin to face him. "Doesn't that hurt?" she asked. It was a safe topic, one she could talk about without being scared.
"It hurts a little, but it's worth it as long as I finally get my point across. You have been leaning on me the past few weeks, but that does not make you weak, Kara. I know that you've never thought yourself worthy of having someone care about you, even when Zak was still alive. You have to snap out of it. You are an incredible woman who doesn't deserve to sit back while bad things happen to her. You are a fighter. I don't want to ever see you give that up. You deserve to be happy."
Kara didn't answer him right away. His words were still sinking in when she twisted her body in his arms. She reached out slowly to run her fingers along the bruises on his face before settling her head into the crook of his neck. "It may sound strange, but I am happy," she whispered.
Lee felt her shiver against him. "Are you cold?"
She shook her head, and he heard her sniff slightly. He didn't have to look down to know the tears had finally spilled out. He figured it was about time. She had been through a lot in the past few hours, and he knew she had been trying to stay strong through the whole thing. Kara didn't like to show emotion. That was why there was always such sadness in her eyes. She had never let the pain out until now. Kara was clinging to him as if the world was ending for a second time, and just for a moment, Lee forgot they were in a tiny brig cell. His whole being was focused on the woman in his arms "I forget how small you can be," he whispered, stroking her hair lightly in an attempt to offer comfort without aggravating his injuries.
"We're not going to get out of this one, Lee." The sadness was heavy in her voice. "Cain is going to take us little by little until there's nothing left. No one will even know until it's too late. She's cut us off from our home, and there's nothing we can do to get back."
"If I have to sacrifice everything I have, I will get you to a Raptor and send you home, Kara. You can't stay here."
She shook her head. "That's a nice little dream you have there, but it won't work. I am not leaving her without you."
"Cain will let you go, Kara. She'll be pissed off, but she won't put up much of a fight to get you back. She would never do that for me. I'm the Commander's son. It's important that she let the whole Fleet know she has me in her control."
"She's just going to have to figure out another way to stick it to the Old Man." She could feel Lee stiffen against her. The idiot had one foot in the grave, and he was actually bracing himself for one of their infamous fights. She hoped he didn't think she would go easy on him just because she couldn't punch a broken man.
"Kara, would you just listen to me for a second? It would be stupid for you to stay here if you can get away. Pegasus is not the place for a woman these days. Something went wrong on this ship when the Cylons attacked. The people here have no respect for any of the females in the Fleet. If you can get out, you need to go."
"Things are just going to get worse for you without me here. We both know I'm keeping the attention away from you. Without me here, you'll be their focus."
"I can handle it."
"Oh, that's right! You have five more fingers they can break."
"That's right. You think those frakers didn't want to break all my fingers?" Lee watched Kara narrow her eyes at him. It was always risky to argue with her when her protective side was out. "I wouldn't let them. They tried to kill my flying career, but they weren't strong enough. I can handle them."
"And I can't?"
"They almost got you, Kara. I can't let that happen again."
"You need to stop trying to be my knight in shining armor for two seconds and open your eyes. You need me as much as I need you. The only way we've survived living on Pegasus is because we have each other. If one of us leaves, the other goes with them." Kara threw her hand over his mouth as he went to protest. She could feel the blood from his split lip. He must have reopened the wounds as they were arguing. This had to stop before he hurt himself worse. "I am not arguing with you about this, Lee. We are a team. It's always been that way, even when we were fighting to stay apart. I'm tired of fighting it, aren't you?"
Lee nodded, and Kara lowered her fingers. He watched as she snuggled against him again, and her eyes automatically began to droop. He scolded himself for forgetting how tired she must be. He wasn't the only one who had been through a lot. "Do you want to lay down?" he quietly asked. In response, Kara pulled his arms around her torso and stretched their bodies along the length of the cot. "I meant by yourself, but okay," Lee teased.
She laughed and turned to smile at him. "There hasn't been time for me to tell you. I think you've given me a sleeping complex. I can't sleep without you anymore."
"Maybe we should get married then," Lee suggested.
"I would eat you alive," Kara pointed out as she shifted her body to face him.
"I'm calling bullshit. I think that you and I are a perfect match. I can take all your punches, and you can patch me back together when you're done. If that isn't a match made in heaven, I don't know what is. Besides, I think we'd be pretty good in the sack."
Kara gave him a wicked smile. "That's what I was talking about. I would eat you alive." Lee feigned shock, causing Kara to forget how tired she was for a moment. Truth be told, it was these wonderful moments of banter that kept her fighting for another day. "Come on! I've had your half-naked body resting next to mine for weeks now. I might be a woman, but I got needs, Adama. I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if you were all the way naked."
Kara felt Lee take a deep breath and did her best to ignore the obvious pain it took him to make that small movement. She kept forgetting just how hurt he actually was. He had always been so good at hiding pain. That was a product of a good soldier according to her mother. Kara shook her head. She did not want to be thinking about her mother right now. She should focus on Lee who was now staring at her intently. That damn serious look of his was rearing its ugly head again. "You want to get serious now, don't you?" she groaned.
Lee smiled and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "I love you, Kara, and that's why we have to talk. We can't keep ignoring this. I came to you that night because I was scared of what the pilots would do if they thought you were available for the taking. You've been a friend to me since the day I got here, and I felt like I owed you that much."
"We've been over this before," Kara insisted. "I'm grateful."
"I wasn't finished. Something changed while I was trying to protect you. I got selfish."
She pulled back to give him an skeptical look. "How could watching over me be selfish?"
"I stopped doing it for you. I don't know what it was about being with you, Kara. All I know was I started looking forward to the time I had alone with you. I enjoyed having someone to curl up with, and the fact that it was you made it all the better."
"Are you hitting on me, Lee?" Kara joked.
He groaned softly and rolled his eyes. "You do this every time I try to tell you something important. Why are you so unwilling to let me tell you how I feel?"
Silence created an invisible barrier between them, and Kara realized Lee was waiting for an answer. He wasn't going to let this one go like she was hoping he would. It's not like she didn't want to answer him. She just wasn't sure what that answer would be. Everything was so fraking confusing these days.
The fact that she wanted to avoid this moment didn't surprise her. She had been perfecting her skills of evasion for years now. What really surprised her was the little voice in the back of her head insisting that Lee deserved an answer. It seemed like her rationality hadn't abandoned her for once. Too bad she didn't like where it was leading her.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, pulling herself away from him. She sat up on the cot and looked down at her hands. They still had dried blood on them. Lee's blood, she corrected. "I'm scared."
"A few minutes ago, you said you could never be afraid of me."
"I would never be afraid that you would hurt me, Lee, but the things you say scare me to death. I'm not used to someone being so honest with me." She glanced over at him. "You have this idea of who I am, but that's not me. I'm not the strong girl you want to believe I am. People don't understand that."
"You're still lying to me," Lee protested. He pulled himself up to sit next to her with only a small wince of pain. "You're scared but not because I don't know who you really are. You're scared because for the first time in your life, someone can see through your bullshit. It scares you to death that that person is me."
Kara felt the tears begin to well up in her eyes. She had thought herself all cried out after her breakdown a few minutes earlier. Then, Lee had to go and see right through her defenses yet again. Sometimes she really hated him. Unfortunately, she happened to care for him all of the time. "I didn't want us to have this conversation here."
"Well, I didn't want the first time you responded to my touch to be in a brig cell either, but I'll take what I can get."
Kara looked at him out of the corner of her eye before smirking. "That wasn't the first time." Lee's eyes widened in surprise, and she couldn't help but giggle.
Her laughter caught in her throat when Lee reached out to push a lock of hair behind her ear. She hated how the intimate little gesture made her ache to lean into his hand. She had always prided herself on being someone who didn't want that kind of thing. The few encounters she had had after Zak died had been full of plenty of fire and passion, but she had worked hard to keep the intimacy to a minimum. The only one who had even come close was Anders, but in the end, not even that could crack her resolve.
She was a guarded person by nature and by necessity. Yet as Lee's hand lingered in her hair, she knew she wouldn't stay that way. She had told the truth when she said she wasn't as strong of a person as Lee liked to think.
Kara felt his hand rest lightly on her shoulder, and she knew he was leaving the ball in her court. She hated that she was too weak to push him away. "When did you know?" she whispered with a sigh.
"Know what?"
"That this was going to happen."
Lee sighed. "Truthfully?"
"I'm just curious," she insisted.
"I've known it was a possibility since the moment Zak introduced us. It scared me half to death that first time I locked eyes with you." Lee let out a deep breath. "That was the day I realized what a lousy brother I was."
"Falling for your brother's girl sounds like something out of a bad movie," Kara pointed out.
"It's not like I was going to do anything about it. I love Zak too much to hurt him that way." Lee shifted behind her and laid back down on the cot. "The first time I knew this was actually going to happen was the day I showed up on Galactica for its decommissioning ceremony. You were standing there in that brig cell with that infuriating grin on your face, and it was almost like I could feel Zak laughing at me. I think he always knew what I felt for you."
Kara laid down beside him and stared up at the metal ceiling. "It was Colonial Day for me. You were petrified and made that stupid comment about my knees. I think it was the best compliment I had ever heard. Too bad things didn't stay that way."
"We really fraked things up that night," Lee agreed, "and you didn't stick around for me to apologize."
"Even if I had stayed, it would have been too hard. In case you failed to notice, we don't do apologies." Kara had always thought her friendship with Lee was a textbook example of dysfunction. Their relationship was everything you weren't supposed to do or say to a friend, and somehow they were stronger for it. She had only known Lee four years, but he was the person who really got her. Even Helo didn't understand where she was coming from half the time and he had known her since the Academy.
When there was something about her that Lee didn't understand, he had the patience and determination to bug the frak out of her until she explained. Yet he hadn't once pushed her to tell him what happened when she ran away from the Fleet. It was as if he knew how much it would hurt.
Kara sighed and turned on her side to face Lee. She respected him too much to keep hiding things that he deserved to know. "There are things I still need to tell you about when I was gone."
"I know."
"I met someone on Caprica." Lee nodded, and Kara began to feel stupid. Of course he would have heard about Anders. Helo had the biggest fraking mouth in the universe. "I promised him I would go back for him."
"And you will," Lee insisted. He turned to stare up at the ceiling before adding, "Only I'll be with you this time."
The corners of her mouth tipped up in a smile. Lee didn't know how much it meant to have him not fight her on this one, but she had a feeling that he did know how much she wanted him by her side. One day, when they weren't concerned for their safety, she'd have to ask him how he did that. "I don't think we should be making plans for the future until we get out of this cell." She watched him settle into the small pillow on the cot and shut his eyes. "Are you still in a lot of pain?"
"If you don't stop asking me that question, I'm going to show you what real pain feels like," he teased, lifting his arm up to invite her in.
Kara nestled in against him and rested her hand on his chest. "I just want to be sure your hands are okay."
Lee's eyes popped open only to immediately narrow. Her voice had a certain level of sweetness to it that frankly made him worried. "I think they'll heal up just fine, Kara."
"Good. You let me know when they do." Her fingers played with his dogtags, and Lee was almost distracted enough to miss what she said next. "I've personally felt what those hands can do hurt, and I'm quite curious as to what they're capable of when they're healthy."
Lee shook his head and shut his eyes again. "Sometimes you scare me."
Kara kept grinning at him, just admiring the man beside her for a few minutes. It wasn't often that she let herself be this free. She never really had the opportunity to just be happy. Life got too crazy. Yet it was here, in the middle of the Pegasus brig, that Kara suddenly felt content. It made sense in a weird sort of way. The brig was had been her home away from home for years.
Sighing, Kara watched Lee's chest rise and fall in a gentle rhythm. The wheezing had stopped. There had never been a more satisfying sight than that, she decided. She was debating whether to say something when she felt Lee's hold on her tighten. She was lifted right off the cot and onto his body. "Stop it, Lee. You're going to hurt yourself."
"Doesn't hurt," he said sleepily. "Feels good."
"I'll give you 'feels good'," Kara purred. Lee's eyes shot open as she leaned in to brush her lips across his. When she saw he was awake, she smirked and nibbled on his bottom lip. It made her feel all warm inside to be able to touch Lee and not worry about the consequences.
Lee could feel her hands cautiously move to cradle his face, and it made him smile against her lips. It meant a lot to him to have Kara acting so gentle. He opened his mouth to her, and Kara couldn't sum up the strength to resist. Her breath caught in her throat as he lifted his head to taste her, slow and steady. She clung to his chest, too stunned at the sudden fire between them to do anything else.
Their mouths slid and pressed against one another as they moved from a soft kiss to something deep and reckless. It was the most meaningful kiss she had had in years, maybe even ever. When his hands slid to cup her behind, she moaned into his mouth. All rational thought thrown out the window, she found herself pressing against him.
A small wince of pain mixed in with the moans was the only thing that kept Kara from plummeting right over the edge. She pulled back to rest her forehead against his and struggled to find where the frak her breath had run off to. "Damnit, Lee," she growled. "Why do you always make me lose control like that?"
Lee simply smiled and pulled her down against him again. "I like it when you lose control."
"Well, I'm about to move onto the floor if you can't keep your hands off me," she growled.
Lee knew an empty threat when he heard one and probably would have argued with her some more if she hadn't chose that moment to let out a delightfully cute yawn. "My mom always said you shouldn't go to bed mad."
"Say something sweet then," Kara grumbled.
Lee thought about it for a moment before sighing. "I was pretty lost when I showed up on Galactica that day. After Conner died, I wasn't sure I was doing what the gods wanted me to do with my life. All that changed on the day of the tylium mission. I landed my Viper in the hangar bay and slid down that ladder to find you waiting for me. That was when it hit me. I still don't know the full journey the gods want me to take, but I know what my destination will be." He leaned in to place a kiss on the top of her head. "It's always been you, Kara."
"Okay. I don't think I'm mad anymore," she whispered.
Lee was starting to get the urge to make Kara lose control again when the hatch door slid open. Both of their heads popped up to see a Marine dump a tray in front of their cell. Lee looked down at the poor excuse for food before smirking at Kara. "See? I told you they wouldn't let us starve."
Kara glowered at him before pushing them both back down on the cot. She just wanted to get some sleep.