Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the Sorting Hat. But the poems belong to me. Bwhahahaha and such.

A/N: Hello there. You see, for English I had to write a sonnet, any sonnet, so I decided, why not write a sorting hat song? Yes. I'm lucky my teacher is nice. But why, you may ask, are there two? Well, you see, since I had to use iambic pentameter (which I hate, by the way), I messed up a bit. o-o; Because I wasn't sure what that meant. /doesn't listen in class/ So I wrote the one at the bottom first, and then a friend told me that each line was supposed to have ten syllables, so I whipped the one above..the...last one..up, reeeeeal quick. My mom really likes it. She wants to frame it. My mom is a very odd woman.

Now, I'm off to cry over the fact that I'm going to be forced into all the really weighted class next year. I really don't want to take Advanced Algebra 2. Isn't normal Algebra 2 good enough! ...Does it really take an hour and a half to do all the homework in that class? And are the tests really that difficult? I cannot imagine that hard labor would be worse than school. At least then I would be strong. /runs off to weep/

New students do not worry, for choose your

House I shall—your lot is up to me now,

So I hope your mind is clean, 'cause your core

Thoughts to me will be revealed; don't ask how.

Gryffindor is for the kids who are brave,

They are a dumb, self-sacrificing guild

But if you're intelligent, a Raven-

Claw you'll be—they're the ones whose heads are filled.

Lying little snake-tongues to Slytherin

Will go; a lot of lawyers from that house.

But if you fit in nowhere, surely kin

In Hufflepuff you'll find—they're meek as mouse.

So to which house will you go? Soon we'll see—

I'm the Hogwarts Hat—that job goes to me.

New students do not

Worry for choose your

House I shall—your lot

Is up to me, core

Thoughts will be revealed

Gryffindor for brave

A self-sacrificing guild

Ravenclaws don't live in caves

For knowledge is their gift

The Hufflepuffs are boring

And do not cause rifts

But conniving

Kids, in Slytherin

Will surely find their kin

A/N: Yeah. I know, kick-butt, eh? Yeah, yeah I rock. I should write poetry for a living. /snerks/