Erik was measuring out pieces of velvet for his new cape, when Christine burst into their bedroom all flushed.
"I just saw the funniest thing." She announced to Erik, plopping in the chair next to him.
"Did you meet Raoul with a boner?" Erik asked lazily, holding up the velvet to his critical eyes.
"Yes." Christine looked at Erik in astonishment. "How did you know that?"
"Just a lucky guess." Erik put the velvet down, and started searching for his scissors. "Wait." Erik looked at Christine questionably. "You saw Raoul with a boner?"
"Yea." Christine started giggling. "It was really funny. Then he quickly darted off, I think to the hospital or something."
"Hmm, maybe I should try and find him, and see that he is all right."
Erik mused to himself softly.
"Why would you want to do that?" Christine asked, wrapping her arms around Erik's stomach, and began kissing his neck.
"Now she's in the mood." Erik rolled his eyes, and gently removed Christine's arms off of his stomach. "It's the humane thing to do. Raoul may get into trouble with a boner, I should go find him."
"You never make any sense." Christine started unbuttoning Erik's shirt.
"Mm touché." Erik scooped Christine up in his arms. "What about Raoul?" A voice asked in Erik's head. "Ah Raoul." Erik thought to himself. "Raoul will be fine. It's not like he needs any medical help."
"And we'll also be using this." The doctor told Raoul, holding up a huge clamp.
"Ok, I don't mind a boner, just let me leave." Raoul told the doctor anxiously, edging his way to the door.
"You're going nowhere fop." The doctor grabbed Raoul by the collar, and thrust him back on a cheap quality cot.
"Fop?" Raoul asked, offended. "Why does everyone insist on calling me a fop?" Raoul wiped at his eyes.
"I don't know, you just give off a foppish, alcoholic, wife-beating vibe." The doctor tried explaining. "Now sit back and try to relax, because this is going to hurt like hell." The doctor raised up the clamp, and when Raoul saw it opened to its fullest extent, he fainted dead away
Christine and Erik had their arms wrapped around each other, when
Christine suddenly pulled back, gasping in pain.
"What's wrong?" Erik asked, looking at Christine in concern.
"Nothing, I'm fine." Christine gritted her teeth in pain, and clutched her stomach. "It's just the baby kicking."
"My child is quite the troublemaker." Erik smirked to himself, putting his head on Christine's stomach. "I think our child will have devilishly good looks." He paused for a moment. "And of course it will be a good singer." There was another pause. "And he or she will not be a fop." Christine took a deep breath, and suddenly stood up, making Erik's head ricochet off of a pillow.
"I just thought up a great mix of food that would be absolutely delicious." She said excitedly. "Tomatoes and biscuits combined into one tasty pastry." And she ran off, no doubt on her way to make her 'delicious' pastry. Erik settled back down in his magnificent swan bed, when a voice in the back of his head annoyingly started talking again.
"Raoul's in trouble, he needs you." It said.
"Raoul is fine." Erik told himself stubbornly. "And even if he wasn't why would I care?"
"Because," The voice informed him, "as much as you say you hate Raoul, you don't want anything harmful to come to him. Go and find him!" The voice insisted.
"Fine!" Erik stood up, clutching his head in frustration. "I'll try to go and find Raoul, it's not like Christine will need me here." Erik bounded down the stairs, and left Christine stuffing her face with a tomato wrapped around a pastry.
Raoul woke up from his faint groggy and in immense pain.
"Oh man." He shook his head, and tried to focus on his surroundings. He looked down, and noted with excitement that his erection was finally gone. But on a down note, every inch of his lower body felt like it was on fire. "Mmph." Raoul tried in vain to get out of bed, but only fell back feebly on the thin coverlet. He was about to scream for the doctor, when Erik burst into the room, red in the face, and looking pissed off at something.
"God, I never knew it would be so hard to find a fucking Vicomte."
"Are you here to make fun of me too?" Raoul asked with dismay.
"Uhh, yes." Erik seized on the opportunity, not wanting Raoul to know
that he might have been worried about him. "I am so here to make fun of your humiliations, hang your head in shame." Raoul opened his mouth to talk, when the doctor burst into the room.
"Monsieur, you're not allowed in here." He said angrily to Erik. "The
Vicomte needs his, uh rest." He turned Erik, and began gently shoving towards the door. "You can come here in two hours time." Erik surprisingly let himself be escorted out of Raoul's room.
Raoul watched Erik leave with some disappointment.
"He sure does look hot in black." He observed Erik's backside with excitement. Raoul raised the covers up to his chin, and finally came to terms with the facts. "There is no use denying it anymore." Raoul told himself sadly. "I am a fop, and now my biggest priority is to make Erik mine."
Erik was pacing back and forth in the waiting room.
"Why am I still here?" Erik asked himself, plopping onto a metal chair. "Ergh, I hate Raoul." He let out an angry sigh, and put his head in his hands. Erik looked up, when he heard a woman burst into sobs.
"Gerald, my own son, dead!" She exclaimed dramatically, collapsing into the arms of the woman next to her.
"Madame?" A man dressed in black, looking nervous addressed the sobbing woman.
"What is it Jeeves?" The woman gave the man a look, which Erik recognized as the same look that his mother always gave him.
"I know it's really not the time but," the man stopped talking, and another man behind him prodded him vigorously. "Um, your racing horse that you bet on earlier today has lost."
"Lost?" The woman swelled up in indignation, apparently forgetting her misery. "Impossible, I never lose anything."
"Not true." Erik butted into the conversation. All heads turned to him. "Well it seems to me that you just lost your son." At those words, the woman burst into a new batch of tears, and fell back into the arms of the other woman, who looked like she was fighting back laughter.
"All right." The doctor rushed towards Erik. "Why don't you keep out of trouble, and go visit the Vicomte."
"Well ok." Erik shrugged his shoulders as the doctor shoved him back in Raoul's room.
"Oh you're back." Raoul straightened up in his bed, and started to blush.
"Yes." Erik said awkwardly, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Ooh Chocolate." Erik produced a stick of chocolate out of his pocket, and eagerly shoved it in his mouth. With a chunk of chocolate in his mouth Erik couldn't talk, so he didn't have to think up anything to say to Raoul.
"Mmm chocolate." Raoul's eyes glazed over at the thought of chocolate. "La la la." In his highly morphined state, Raoul started fantasizing about chocolate and Erik.
"Uh Raoul? Raoul?" Erik broke into Raoul's fantasies, looking at him troubled.
"Oh I am sorry, you were eating chocolate?" Raoul smiled sheepishly at Erik.
"That was ten minutes ago!" Erik stared at Raoul momentarily, before slowly backing to the door. "Well I better be going." He said, slamming the door behind him.
"Ahh Erik." Raoul sighed contentedly. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a tiny notebook. 'Vicomte's secrets' was emblazoned on the cover. "All right, let's do what I do best, write poetry about my loved ones." He flipped through the pages with poems about scarves, Christine, and dogs. When he finally got to a blank page, he pulled out a quill, and started to write furiously.
"Erik." He wrote on the center of the page. "Erik, when I think about you I don't feel low." Raoul paused. "Yes, that is a good start. Ok, now what rhymes with low?" He looked out at the bright summer's day. "Snow!" He thought hard, and started writing again. "I want to do you in the snow." Raoul lay down the quill, and gave himself a self-satisfied smirk. "I am a fucking god when it comes to poetry." He screamed to himself, then rolled over and fell asleep.
Erik paused outside of Raoul's door when he heard Raoul scream to himself.
"Ah Raoul Raoul Raoul." He said to himself, shaking his head. "You are quite the guy." He paused. "Is that a bad thing or a good thing?" He asked himself. "A good thing, no bad, yes bad! No good!" Erik shook his head in frustration, and started to walk back to his house.