AN: I wasn't planning on updating, but I'm sorta bored so hey hope you all enjoy and keep up the good work with reviewing. But Erik-Meister, I think Erik would play tennis and wear white if Christine wanted him too, since he's in "love" with her. And you're right, he would never pick up Raoul, but he's in extreme denial and doesn't realize that he likes him, so it'shis subconscious coming out. But I appreciate your review and comments!

Chapter 17

The next morning, Erik stepped for his daily invigorating walk, and smiled happily.
"Not a fop in sight." He muttered to himself, and started to walk, when he stumbled over a can. Erik managed to stay upright, and stared at the can in disgust. "Who leaves their shit around?" He asked no one in particular. Nudging the can aside with his toe, Erik bent down to see exactly what the hell he tripped over. "Hair gel? What the-?" He asked himself. "Ahh, Raoul's precious Vicomte's hairgel. How did it travel all the way out here?"

"Maybe," Erik was struck by an idea. "Maybe Raoul has started a bootleg business selling hair gel to dirty hooligans." Erik looked around with shifty suspicious eyes. "Yes, and this was out on it's way to the black market. Well that's just sick." He narrowed his eyes in the direction toward Raoul's house. "I think I should go over there to give Raoul a piece of my mind." Erik paused. "Or at least return his dirty little secret."

"Yea sure." His brain told him cheerfully. "You keep making these lame excuses in order to see Raoul." Erik chose not to answer himself, and only picked up the can of hair gel, and walked over to Raoul's house. Before he could swing open the door though, it opened up, and there was screaming, and Erik accidentally squirted the gel in his eyes in his haste to cover his ears. "Gaahh!" Erik clamped his hands at his eyes. "I'm not that ugly." He said in the direction of the screaming. There was another high pitched scream, and a woman's voice shouted,

"Joe-Jack Jimberley, you give me my unmentionables back!" And Erik faintly felt someone run by him, and he fell over onto a pile of ferns.

"Aah! For the love of God, someone save me!" Erik screamed, and something soft landed on his head. "Ahh thanks." Erik smiled, and wiped the gel out of his eyes, using the cloth-like thing. The screams then grew louder, and Erik opened his eyes to see Bella the maid pointing and shrieking at him.
"You-you ruined my pantalets!"

"Huh?" Erik looked down at shock at the undergarments on his lap. "Oh gross." Erik threw Bella back her underwear, or "pantalets" if you will. In a rush, Erik ran into Raoul's house, and slammed the door shut behind him. He shoved the can in his back pocket, and started looking around for Raoul.

Raoul was having a nightmare up in his bed. "Faster Roudolpho!" He whimpered to his horse, and dug his heel into it's stomach in order to make it trot faster. "Noo!" He screamed as a chandelier hurtled down from the sky, and came to a crashing halt in front of 'ol Roudolpho, causing him to rear up, and toss Raoul through the air. "Noo!" He screeched again wildly, kicking out frantically.
"Ahhowww!" Raoul sat up straight in his bed, in time to see Erik fall to his knees, clutching at his dick.

"Erik!" Raoul gasped, rushing over to him. "What are you doing here"
"I was returning your fucking hair gel, when you decided to go and fucking kick me!" Erik pulled out the can, and threw it at Raoul, who just ducked in the nick of time, and it bounced off of the wall.

"Umm..." Raoul was at a loss. Erik was now ready to leave, and judging by Raoul's expression, he was going to try and start another asinine conversation.
"Time to be sauve." He told himself, and let Raoul down gently. "Hey look the Phantom!" He yelled, pointing behind Raoul.

"Where?" Raoul exclaimed excitedly, turning around to look. A couple of seconds later, he turned back around to see Erik dart out of his room, and down the stairs. "Oh Erik, you are the sly one." He remarked to himself. "Now, back to looking for the Phantom." And Raoul continued staring at his wall.

"Ah, home sweet home." Erik smiled to himself, as he opened the front door, and started to stroll in, when Christine screamed,
"Don't you dare come in here, I just washed these floors!" Erik quickly backed out, and slammed the door shut.

"Aw, you big softie, not standing up to Christine." Erik turned around, and saw Raoul smirking at him.
"Are you following me now?" He asked.
"No, I just came down here to tell you that I figured it out"
"Figured what out?"

"It." Raoul patiently explained. "Our relationship. I realized that all your shouting and insults are just your way of masking-" Raoul interrupted himself. "Get it, masking?" He giggled, but quickly continued. "Ahem, your insults are just your way to cover up the fact that you care for me and fear rejection." "What?" Erik exploded.

"Yes." Raoul was enjoying himself. "You love me, you love me." He chanted, ignoring Erik, who was growing red, and was clenching and unclenching his fists. "Hey." Raoul said. "Your eye twitches like that when your happy ri-?" Erik interrupted him, by punching him in the face.

"Ooh." Raoul staggered back a few steps, and look up and Erik, then burst into laughter. "Denial much, eh?" Erik took another step forward, and decked him again. Raoul clutched at his bleeding nose. "If you think that punching me makes you think that you hate me keep it up, but I know you love me." Erik gritted his teeth, and raised his fist again.

"Shh." Christine coaxed baby Gerard, who was bawling his eyes out. "Let's have a looksy out the window." She picked him up, and carried him over to the window. "Oh look." She said calmly. "Daddy appears to be beating the shit out of Raoul." She paused. "Probably over me." She giggled, and Gerard stopped crying. "Oh dear, and now they both fell into the fountain."

"Ahh." Raoul lost his balance, and fell backwards. At the last moment, he grabbed onto Erik's arms for support, and took him down with him. And with a huge splash, both of them toppled into the huge city fountain. "If-" Raoul started to say, but with a growl, Erik put his hands on Raoul's neck, and dunked his head under the water. Quite a large number of people had now gathered to watch this spectacle. Raoul's hands feebly fumbled over Erik's shoulders, and Erik looked up to see a shocked number of people gaping at him. Erik quickly released Raoul, who came up sputtering and gasping for air.

"If," Raoul started again, panting heavily. "If you are not in love with me, then why don't you stop touching me, and walk away, and never talk to me again. And why did you take the trouble to bake my favorite pie?"

"I've never baked in my life, let alone your favorite pie"
"I mean why did you take the trouble to return my hair gel?" Erik stared at Raoul, at a loss of what to say for once.

"And why do you live with a woman who constantly bitches at you, and always has you wear this stupid thing." Raoul tore Erik's mask off, and leaned over to kiss him. Erik's breath caught in his throat, and he tried taking a step back, but slipped, and fell over with a splash.

"I love Christine." He said, somewhat stupidly, trying to ignore his pounding heart. "Please." Raoul snorted. "If you love her, then why haven't you slept with her since Gerard was born?" Erik stared at him dumbfounded. "Don't ask me how I know, I just do."

"I can go sleep with her right now." He managed to retort.
"So go do it, unless you want to spend more time with me." Raoul was enjoying himself again.
"I will."

"Won't." Erik quickly stood up, and jumped out of the fountain, and ran towards his house. And Raoul ran over to his house. "I know he won't be able to do it, I know he loves me." He muttered to himself, pounding up the stairs, and into his bedroom, which coincidentally had a perfect view into Christine and Erik's bedroom. Raoul pulled up a chair in front of his window, and settled down for the watch of his life.
Christine had put the sleeping Gerard down in his crib, when Erik burst into the room.

"Erik what on earth?" She started to ask, but Erik pushed her on the bed, and ran over to the curtains. He tore them apart with such fierceoisty, that they ripped, and fell to the floor. "Shouldn't those be closed?" She asked, figuring out what he wanted to do.

"Nope." Erik said, making sure Raoul was watching them. "I'll show him I love Christine and not him, the foppish bastard." And he twisted around to see Christine lying on the bed, giggling slightly. And nothing happened. "What the fuck?" He muttered furiously to himself. Where was the hardcore animal lust that he had grown accustomed to? He gritted his teeth nonetheless, and jumped on the bed, and swiftly pinned her down. "I love her, I love her." He firmly told himself, while ripping off her dress. He fumbled with her corset strings, and eventually just ripped the corset open. Erik looked up, and saw Raoul staring disdainfully at them.

"Yea, how do you like that?" He screamed over at him. Raoul shrugged, and motioned with his hands, while Christine screamed,
"Yea, I like it a lot!"

"Ew." Erik looked down at her, wearing a sickened expression. Christine stared back expectantly. "Huh?" He asked her. "Oh yea," he looked down at his pants, and pulled them down. Then he closed his eyes, and waited for the animal instincts to take over. And for some unknown reason, Erik was struck with an image of Raoul. He bit his lip, and immediately grew aroused. "OH GOD NO!" He bellowed, falling backwards, causing Christine to topple over on top of him.

"Does this mean I'm going to be on top? I always thought you had a power issue." Erik grunted in reply, and pulled himself back together enough to finish working his magic.

Raoul watched the scene angrily.
"The neighbors will think he's killing her." He muttered to himself. He walked over to the curtains, and pulled them shut. "Ok, that didn't work, but I do have another card up my puffy sleeve." He bolted down the stairs, and ran outside. "Library!" He yelled, striking a pose. "The library holds the answers to all, and then Erik will love me!" He grabbed a redheaded woman, and hugged her passionately. He finally let her go and said,

"I wish we could have known each other, this is a little awkward." He apologized, and she crossed her arms angrily.
"Raoul, we've slept together"
"Awkward."