The boys were coming to see Boss as he was on the phone with Teddy. He had just hung up when they walked into the jailhouse. Boss looked up and almost dropped the pickle he had been munching on, afraid they had overheard him.
"Um, afternoon boys." He said, quickly recovering. "I trust you've come to deliver your collateral."
"Not exactly, Boss. We've come to report a robbery." Luke replied.
Boss gasped in feigned shock. "A robbery? How terrible that you were robbed while your poor Uncle Jesse lays in the hospital. Rosco, get some paperwork and write down everything that was taken from Jesse's farm."
"Oh no, it wasn't the farm, Boss. Someone stole our car."
"Your car?" Boss huffed.
"General Lee?" Luke replied in a questioning tone, as if to say 'you know, the General Lee'.
Boss continued to look shocked for the show, but changed his attitude quickly. He then smiled one of those smirky know-it-all smiles.
"Wait a minute, I know what's goin' on here. Now that your Uncle Jesse's done come through his surgery okay and all that money's tied up at the hospital, you're tryin' to find some poor pitiful excuse to keep your car."
"No Boss that ain't what's going on here. We went by the farm to pick up something for Jesse and this guy was waiting there for us, and he tied us up and took the General." Luke informed him.
"Yeah. The ropehe used to tie us up with is still in our barn. Go out to our farm and see for yourself if you don't believe us." Bo added.
"Planted by the two of you to cover up your lie, I'm sure."
"Boss, are you going to sit here and argue with us for the next hour or are you going to have your sheriff there help us find the car?" Bo asked sternly.
"Neither. I'll tell you what I'm gonna do." Boss replied, reaching over and picking up his telephone. 'Mabel. Get me the Tri-County Hospital."
"Why you low down, dirty…." Bo began, lunging at Boss. He was held back by Luke. "Ain't gonna do Jesse no good if we have to come up with bail money, too."
"I'm glad someone is showing some sense in the situation." Boss smiled as the secretary came on the line. "This is Jefferson Davis Hogg over here in Hazzard County. I'm callin' to cancel the promissory note I put up for the care of Jesse Duke."
"I'm sorry, Mr. Hogg." The secretary began. "You've already accumulated a balance for Mr. Duke. Now we could discharge him to the care of the Chickasaw Clinic, but you would be responsible for the bill up until now."
"And how much is that bill?" Boss asked, pushing the speaker button on his fancy new phone before placing the receiver back on it.
"With the doctor's bill and everything, it comes up to $7425.28, according to what I have in front of me." She replied. "The doctor really would like for him to stay at least two more days, to make sure there aren't any complications with infection and so forth. That would only run another $1000.00. Are you sure you want to send him to the clinic?"
"Oh, I'm positive." Boss smiled as Bo stood there visibly fuming. "I'll get a check to you this afternoon for what I owe."
Boss hung up and looked at the boys. "Well you heard it for yourselves. Normally I'd give you 'till the end of the day to come up with your car or with my money. But seein' how you got Jesse to deal with, I'll make an exception. You either get me that orange clunker car, or $7500.00 by the end of this week, or you'll get put in jail so fast it'll make Billy Kay's race car look like a turtle."
Bo lunged at him again but Luke held him back and walked him to the door. "I'd like to take that sneer of his face, Luke! Just once!"
"Don't blame me for your problems, Bo Duke. I seem to remember a while ago you had ample opportunity to access all the money you needed for your uncle's care. Instead, you decided to tie it all up in a bunch of kids and a muddy lean-to camp."
Bo decided to allow Luke to guide him out before he said something that even Uncle Jesse would protest to.
"What are we going to do Luke?"
"I don't know, but first off, we better get on the phone and let Daisy know what's goin' on before they bust in there and cart Jesse off on a stretcher."
The boys went over to Cooter's to use the phone. The got a spare key out of an old tire propped up against the door. Cooter decided it was high time to leave a spare key on the place after his upstairs window had got broken out on more than one occasion by the boys when a need for the phone had arose.
"Mabel, get me Tri-County Hospital." Luke said.
A few moments later, he had Daisy on the line. He explained how the General had been stolen and how Boss was having Jesse discharged from the hospital.
"Oh, I hate to think of Jesse being in the care of the Clinic." Daisy said out of Jesse's earshot, holding the phone where Cooter could hear as well. Luke could here Ms. Tizdale cooing at Uncle Jesse in the background.
"I know, but the hospital needs $1000.00 to keep him there two more days. I just don't know where we're gonna come up with that kind of money today."
"Now you don't worry about that, Lucas Dukas. I got me $1000.00 put away in a savings account right here in town that says Jesse's stayin' put." Cooter announced.
"That's real nice, Cooter, but why do you have money in a bank outside of Hazzard?"
"Because J.D. Hogg doesn't need access to every financial record I have, that's why."
Luke took up his friend on his offer and thanked him. Knowing that Cooter would go to the bank two blocks from the hospital to withdraw the money, he hung up.
"Well that takes care of the immediate situation, but we still got to find the General if we don't want Jesse's welcome home party to be our going away party as well."
With that, the boys locked the garage back up and went back to Daisy's jeep to continue the search.
Later that evening an anxious Boss Hogg stood in front of the courthouse along with Rosco, looking at his watch.
"Where is that Teddy? I told him to be here 20 minutes ago!" Boss fumed.
"This is deputy Enos Strait callin' Sheriff Coltrane." A voice said over Rosco's CB.
Rosco reached through the window of his car. "This is Rosco P. Coltraine. Uh Enos, how's that inspection going?"
Enos had a very frustrated Bo and Luke pulled over in Daisy's jeep. Boss had created a bogus inspection point on the road to keep the boys tied up while he talked with Billy Kay about the fake General.
"Sheriff. I can't think of no reason to hold them anymore. They've had their tires checked, engine checked, battery….."
"Look, you're gonna have to think of somethin' else. We've gotta keep them out of town for awhile longer, you hear?"
"Sheriff, what's goin' on? I don't feel too good about this whole deal."
"Don't you worry about what's going on. I'm your superior officer and I told you to keep them there and that's what I intend for you to do, understand?"
"Yes sheriff, over at out." Enos replied reluctantly.
Moments later, the General Lee came screeching into the square- or so it seemed. It skidded to a halt in front of Boss and Rosco, who jumped back. Teddy then got out.
"Teddy, where have you been? I told you to be here at 5:30!"
"Sorry, Boss, but this detail paintin', well it ain't easy. I had to call in my cousin Sheila to help me. She's real good with that artistic stuff but she had to come up all the way from Sugar Valley."
"Well I have to say, it does look like the real thing." Boss replied, about to touch the rebel flag.
"Not yet! Paint's not dry." Teddy informed him.
"Not dry! What am I gonna tell…oh, never mind!" He stopped short, realizing the less people who knew about his deal with Billy, the better. He then looked at Rosco. "Rosco here will be glad to give you a ride back to the junkyard- right now! You've got that Roadster that has to be ready first thing in the morning."
Seeing his seriousness, Rosco motioned Teddy to get in the car, he then drove him away being replaced almost immediately by Billy Kay and Stephen.
"Well, Hogg." Billy Kay began, eyeing the General. "I think he looks even better the second time around."
"Oh, well that's cause when they boys decided to sell it, they thought they'd touch up the paint. You know, with as much money as you's givin' them and all."
Billy smiled as he got out his checkbook. "Well that was mighty nice of them. You tell them that when you see them. Now, do I just make this check out to Bo or Luke Duke?"
"No, make it out to J.D. Hogg." Boss replied.
Billy Kay looked up and arched his eyebrow quizzically.
"Well, with their Uncle Jesse in the hospital and all, they don't have time to do banking, so I told 'em I'd make sure the money got in their account. Now I can't do that with a check made out to them."
"Hey Billy, you gonna test drive this thing? I mean you know how he tried to do you on that Roadster."
"Don't need to. I rode in it the other day and I know how it runs!" Billy replied with a grin.
"Ahh, somethin' seems fishy." Stephen replied, eyeing Boss.
"Well we don't have time to analyze things. We gotta go back and get the rest of the cars loaded up. Like I said, I rode in the car already. It runs great!"
Billy quickly wrote the check to Boss and handed it to him. "You gonna have my Roadster ready tomorrow morning? Or do I collect some of that money back from you?"
"Oh it'll be ready alright!" Boss replied, happily looking at the check.
"Remember Hogg, bright and early. We'll be leaving for our next stop, Birmingham, at 6:00 a.m!"
With that, Billy climbed into the General, being careful not to mar the paint. He then started the engine and roared away, with Stephen following.
Ya know, now that Billy Kay's accepted that decoy General, it kinda makes you wonder what Boss has planned for the REAL one.