After a day of aimless wandering, Raoul finally found the library.
"Here we are." Raoul smiled up at the big brick building. "The library." He strode in, and walked up to an elderly librarian. "Excuse me, where are the books to make people fall in love with you?" The woman squinted up at him.
"We don't have books like that." She told him. "But you may find something around that area in the section with the novels by Sirius Sloper." And she pointed off in some direction near the back of the library. Raoul took some misguided turns, and walked under a sign entitled "Jane Austen Only."
"Hello." Raoul strolled up to a man shelving some books. "Is this the Sirius Sloper area?" The man narrowed his eyes at Raoul.
"Get out." Raoul quickly scurried off, and darted into the Self Help section. He grabbed the first book he saw.
"How to Love Others who don't Return the Favor. What is this shit?" He asked, causing an old lady to stare at him in shock. He stared at her until she looked away, then quickly immersed himself in a novel, and didn't look up until he heard a deep manly voice say,
"...I'm a bit worried, whenever I press down on it, it sounds so off key, not even I can seem to fix it."
"Oh my God Erik!" Raoul thought panicked. He ran around in a circle, flailing his arms wildly, then flattened himself against the bookcase as Erik strolled down the aisle with a male librarian.
"This should do the trick." The librarian said handing Erik a red book. "It should solve, uh, all problems."
"Thank you monsieur." Erik said gratefully seizing it. He stared down at the book, and shouted back at the retreating librarian, "I meant a pipe organ monsieur!" Raoul turned around, and hastily shoved a fist into his mouth. A perfect book for Erik caught Raoul's eye, and he grabbed it, and handed it wordlessly to Erik. Erik stared down at the book, then up at Raoul, rolled his eyes, and turned his back on Raoul.
An awkward silence passed, and Erik turned back around impatiently when an irritating scratching noise occurred. Raoul was annoyingly tugging on his hair again, and flipping it back and forth against the cover of a book. Erik's heart started to beat wildly, and he got that flushed feeling in his stomach.
"What the hell?" He thought. Christine is no where in sight, why is this happening to me?" Raoul was oblivious to all, and was still flipping his hair. "Would you stop that?" Erik cried angrily, slapping at Raoul's hand. Raoul grabbed Erik's head compulsively and kissed him hard. Erik stood slack in Raoul's grasp, too shocked to do anything. Then abruptly, Raoul let go, and Erik staggered backwards.
"Well-I-what?" He stammered, and Raoul's self-satisfied smirk grew wider, and Erik turned around to make his departure, but only succeeded in slamming into a bookcase, and knocking it over. Erik went down with the bookcase, and they both made a terrific crash.
"What zis all this?" A burly librarian wearing a red and white striped shirt rushed over to the scene of distress. "You're going to have to pick all this up." He told Erik angrily, twisting his moustache. Erik let out a stream of obscenities, and Raoul's eyes widened in shock.
"I've never hear that one before." He muttered, and pulled out a little black notebook. "Next time I see Christine, oho she won't know what hit her." He giggled, writing what Erik said furiously.
"You pick this up, or I'll call the police!" The burly man threatened. Erik gingerly got up from the pile of books, and threw Raoul a death glare, while rubbing his backside.
"I'm not picking anything up." He said somewhat calmly. Raoul braced himself for an argument. The librarian made a furious step towards Erik, who merely step sided him.
"Here." Raoul tossed Erik a book. "You should probably get out of here." Erik didn't trust himself to speak, and darted out of the library, while the librarian started screaming,
"Police! Police!"
"Well at least I got my organ book." Erik panted, leaning over to catch his breath, once he was safely outside. He looked down at the book Raoul gave him. "What the-?" He asked the air wildly. "You were supposed to give me my organ book! Not-" He looked back at the book title. "How to Learn to Love your Mother! Ah well." He tossed the book into a empty trash bin, and strolled off like he was cock of the walk. Which he is.
Raoul sauntered down the library stairs.
"Well that went well." He mused, walking past some policemen. "And I got an interesting book." He looked down at the book affectionately. "Wait dammit, I gave Erik the wrong book." He placed his hand thoughtfully on his chin. "Now I may never learn to love my mother. And now I'm stuck with Kuma Sutra."
Erik walked around Paris for the rest of the day, convincing himself he was still madly in love with Christine Daae. When night fell, he finally decided to return home. And when he got there, he was surprised to see that the house was all dark.
"Christine?" He asked tentatively, stepping into the house. "Are you home?" He walked up the stairs into their bedroom, and saw one candle flickering on their bed stand. "Christine?" He asked again. And he saw a lump in their bed. "That must be her." He thought to himself. He walked up to Christine, and pulled her towards him and kissed her passionately. He got that lovely flushed feeling in his stomach again. "Yes, I knew I loved her." He smiled to himself, as he pulled back, and smelled her sweet scent of Lilacs 'N Butter.
"Oh, I knew this would work, oh Erik, you do love me!" Raoul's voice emitted through the darkness.
"What the fuck?" Erik clapped his hands, and a dozen candles lit themselves, and Erik saw himself staring at Raoul. "You! How did you get in here? Where's Christine?"
"The important thing is, she wasn't here when I came, and she still isn't here, and you love me!" Raoul clapped his hands, and threw his arms around Erik.
"Don't be stupid." Erik spat, pushing Raoul aside. "I thought you were Christine"
"Yes, well you still got a massive erection." Raoul pointed out the obvious.
"Get out, get out, get out!" Erik grabbed Raoul, and started pulling him down the stairs. He opened up front door, and threw Raoul out, who ironically landed on Christine, who just arrived home.