A\N: Hola everyone welcome to another amazing chapter of this fanfic...Actually, Raoul doesn't make a appearance in this chapter, so it's not as groin grindingly good as the others...but next chapter will have all that good Spontaneous action...Wow, I just glanced at my little outline sheet and noticed that I only have five chapters left to write, sad...but I have about a zillion more ideas left...like Christine falling in love with Buquet...no, I'm not joking...well read and review review review like the wind..
Chapter 22
Christine awoke at the crack of dawn, and immediately began dressing in a pink dress. Once she was finished with examining herself in the full length mirror, she turned back to the still form of Erik. She sighed,
"Erik!" She commanded clapping her hands. "Let's go, we have a appointment in thirty minutes sharp."
"Noo, Christine." He mumbled, pulling the covers over his head. "Let me sleep you selfish-" Christine let out a grunt, and kicked at him, causing him to roll off the bed. Erik was up in a moment.
"I have had just about enough of you ordering me around!" He snarled, rolling back into bed. Christine gritted her teeth, and walked around, and gripped Erik by the ear.
"And I have had enough of you hanging around Raoul all the time, or coming home drunk, or whatever misguided shenanigans you always seem to get yourself into!" She groaned, trying to pull Erik out of the bed. "Now, we are going to a psychiatrist, now!"
"Fine, we'll go to a fucking psychiatrist, but only to find out what's wrong with you!" Erik stalked out of the room, and out of the house still in his nightclothes.
"Remember anything at all about yesterday?" Erik jumped, and turned to see Bella casually leaning against the side of his house.
"How long have you been there?" He asked.
"The point is are you over your denial yet? Remember anything in particular about yesterday?" She smirked coyly. Erik paused for a moment.
"No." He finally said with more confidence then he felt.
"Really?" Bella said, with the same deliberate calmness, examining her nails carefully. "Because I for one remember walking down the stairs, and seeing Raoul on top of you, making out with you." In one swift step, Erik crossed over to Bella, and grabbed her by the throat, and pushed her against his house.
"Well." She croaked. "Is this how you seduced Christine, by grabbing her by the throat, then-gaah"
"You are lying." He said softly through clenched teeth tightening his grip. Bella let out a strangled laugh.
"Guess you are not over your denial." Bella croaked, and Erik released her throat, as Christine opened the door, and stared at them. "Well I think I'll be off." Bella smiled, massaging her throat. Christine gave Erik a penetrating look, before whipping out a small notebook and after scribbling something in it, she held out her arm to Erik. "Shall we?" She inquired, smiling sweetly.
Ten minutes later they arrived at the psychiatrist's office, and an elderly woman led them into her office.
" Hello, I'm Madame Feferfill, I, ah, are you not wearing any pants?" She asked, staring at Erik, who looked down at his pantless self.
"I seemed to have misplaced my pants." Erik said.
"Yes, well, moving on." Madame Feferfill continued on pleasantly, examining her clipboard. "Now you are, the vicomtess de Chagny?" She peered over at Christine.
"Daae." Christine corrected hastily. "Mademoiselle Christine Daae, I don't know why you would still think I was a vicomtess." The woman squinted at her papers.
"Well it appears that when you contacted us for an appointment, you introduced yourself as the vicomtess." Madame Feferfill answered as Erik gave a derisive snort. "And you are-" She consulted her notes again. "Monsieur Erik P-"
"All right, let's get to the 'important' stuff." Erik settled back in his chair.
"Well," the woman pushed her glasses up her nose. "I'm just going to hear you guys bitch each other out, and come to a conclusion from that"
"Finally!" Christine shouted, and then turned accusingly to Erik. "Why don't you ever spend anytime with me? You always act like a jackass, and are always in the presence of Raoul! You used to never get enough of me, what the hell is the matter with you"
"Hey, you're the one who has been acting all bitchy for around ten months." Erik retaliated defensively.
"Don't you call me a bitch!" Christine shrieked, pounding her balled up fists against the armchair. "You-you murderer"
"Yea, well, you're wearing that dress that a idiot." Erik threw a small pillow at Christine's scarlet face.
"All right, I think I have my conclusion." Madame Feferfill interrupted, writing furiously. "Now Erik," she peered over at the scowling Erik. "When did you realize that you were attracted to men?"
"WHAT?" Erik and Christine simultaneously exploded.
"Well it appears so." Madame Feferfill calmly answered as Christine jumped out of her chair and started pacing back and forth.
"Oh my God!" She screamed. "This explains everything!" She cast Erik an aghast gaze.
"Oh for fucks sake, I am NOT gay. We have a child." Erik raised his fist threateningly towards Madame Feferfill.
"Oh yes." Madame Feferfill flipped through her notes furiously. "Baby Gerard. Is he alone in the house right now"
"No," Christine said, giving Erik a penetrating stare before continuing. "Raouldar is watching over him."
"Raouldar?" Madame Feferfill asked.
"The cat." Erik let out a frustrated groan, covering his face with his hands. "You'd be surprised how responsible that mammal could act"
"All right, let's just get back on track." Madame Feferfill clapped her hands impatiently. "According to my expert note-taking, it is in fact true Erik, that you are gay." Christine seemed to get over her anxiety, and started giggling.
"There is no way that he is gay." She smirked slyly, wrapping her arms around Erik's neck. "Believe me"
"Then why aren't you two married, or at least engaged." Madame Feferfill pursed her lips at Christine's scandalized look.
"Why haven't you proposed to me?" She let out a horrified scream.
"Well, I mean, really," Erik sputtered. "The right time, really hasn't passed by"
"Oh please!" She yelled, tears starting to course down her cheeks. "Last year you forced me into a wedding dress, and threatened to kill Raoul if I didn't marry you"
"Well," Erik stared at a spot on the wall hoping for inspiration. "Oh, well of course I didn't want to force marriage upon you again, and tear us apart." He nodded. "Yes, that'll do nicely."
"Ooh!" Christine squealed happily. "So it's agreed, let's get married!" She threw her arms around an astonished Erik.
"Oh, goody." Erik smiled weakly. Madame Feferfill made a skeptical face at Erik, and cleared her throat.
"All right, let's go to the next phase. If you will both stand up." Madame Feferfill walked over to a small closet, and pulled out two long foam sticks. "Now I'm feeling that there is something pent up in this relationship." At this point Madame Feferfill gave Erik a pointed look. "And I feel that maybe beating each other with these sticks will show me the outline of your relationship." Christine eagerly jumped off of the couch, and grabbed one of the foam sticks.
"I fail to see the purpose of this exercise." Erik commented, but nonetheless, he grudgingly grabbed the other foam stick. Giggling, Christine playfully hit Erik in his calf.
"All right Erik." Madame Feferfill nodded towards him. "Now you hit her back"
"I'm not going hit Christine."
"Oh come on." Christine was caught up in the moment, and started prodding Erik with the top of the stick. "You won't hit me, but you'll kill Buquet, Piangi, and a million other people. Oh, has the murdering phantom finally gone soft? Huh?" Erik gritted his teeth. "Huh? Huh?" Christine continued gleefully. She opened her mouth, but before she could utter another sound, there was a loud whapping noise, and Christine was crumpled on the floor unconscious.
"Oh my god!" Madame Feferfill rushed past Erik, who was still was holding the foam stick high in the air. "What is the matter with you?" She asked eyeing the foam stick apprehensively.
"Oh come on, she was asking for it." Erik said, dropping the stick.
"I think she's dead!"
"Oh she's fine." Erik calmly answered leaning over to check out the prostrate form of Christine. "All right, I think we're done here." He grunted, while hoisting Christine over his shoulder. "Thank you for saving our relationship, after all, thanks to you, we are now engaged." Erik said, shaking Madame Feferfill's hand vigorously. And with one final bow, Erik strode out of the room with the knocked out Christine, leaving one astonished Madame Feferfill alone with her scattered notes.