AUTHOR'S NOTE: Warning: non-intended fluff ahead. It's supposed to be funny, but I'm not sure if I succeeded or not, so you'll just have to let me know, won't you? Hope you ejoy the chapter and there is, yes, more on the way.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine if it belongs to J. K. Rowling
Mistaken Liaisons
Chapter Sixteen: Sex or Not, It's Still Chess
or
Gonad-Popsicles
The second Ginny landed in the apartment she was tackled by six feet and many stone of lusting male. Somehow she managed to break the tremendous vacuuming vortex of suction his mouth was creating on hers and pulled away, trying to drink air into her lungs.
It didn't help that Blaise was staring at her with the hungriest expression on his face. There was lust…oh gods, was there lust in his eyes…but there was more. So much more that it would have taken her months to decipher every emotion that was passing through his eyes. He didn't even understand half of them, though he was, by his own admission, a certifiable git of the first degree.
But she could see…so clearly in his eyes…enduring faithfulness…tremulous fear…hedging uncertainty…desperate want…gentle adoration…and a thousand other feelings both tender and passionate at once and already she was nauseous. Romantic shite like this just wasn't supposed to happen in real life. Eyes were nice. You couldn't read them.
At least, Ginny wished she couldn't read them.
Because apparently she could. And they read 'forever'.
Marriage alert was sounding off and her gamophobic senses kicked into action as she shielded herself from the arduous stare of the man she so badly wanted to fool around with right now. But would senseless shagging ruin them? Was it worth it? Was she reading too much into this?
His eyes were scaring her.
"Oh, fuck." She was surprised at how soft her own voice was and how decidedly weak she felt. Her heart and her brain and her feet were all screaming at her all to do different things as everything descended into a whirl of shadows and mirages in a very trippy, hallucinogenic way that reminded Ginny just why she never tried out any of Fred and George's new products. The next thing she knew she was standing in the middle of Ron and Hermione's flat, her wand shaking in her hand as she let herself sink into the concerned arms of her brother and sister-in-law.
………………..
Draco sighed, setting down the bottle.
"I don't believe it. I can't understand it, and I just don't like it."
Blaise's head lifted up from the sofa. "What?" he mumbled.
A series of clanking sounds followed as Draco waded back over to the chair he'd been reclining in for the past few hours. "We are entirely out of drink, my dear Blaise. You have boldly succeeded where no witch or wizard in the long, sad, history of alcohol has ever succeeded before, and that includes the night me and Ginny got drunk and nearly got married; you have gotten yourself properly hammered."
Blaise glanced around at the numerous bottles lying around the living room floor. "No more Ogden's?" he grumbled, swinging his feet onto the floor and smashing a few bottles. "Nope." Draco responded cheerfully. "No Malten Lava?" Blaise asked, holding up yet another empty bottle and shaking it expectantly. "Not a drop."
"Peppergage's?"
"If only."
"Salton's?"
"Not in this lifetime."
"IceScotch?"
"Ha. You wish."
"Jarpin's?"
"Not since my cousin's thirtieth."
"Torpool's Toadstool Tequila?"
"Are you really that desperate?"
"Lady Liliah's Luscious Licorice Liquor Liquid?"
"You're drunk and that's a tongue twister; you don't have the physical capacity to even think that, never mind say it."
"Minty Maverick?"
"Blaise…you are the epitome of shit-faced right now."
"Beer?"
Draco's left eye twitched. "You are seriously desperate to drink yourself to death, aren't you?" Blaise scoffed, finding a somewhat full long blue bottle and shoving it halfway down his oesophagus carelessly. He pulled it out a while later, deciding he needed to breathe.
"I believe the word is 'determined' and that doesn't even come close."
"Why are you doing this?"
"I thought we established that already? I'm in love with someone who I think is in love with me, but she's too bloody scared to come out of her bloody brother's house and not to be outdone, his wife nearly hexed my willy off for trying to see Ginny yesterday and I have no idea why Ginny's being so girly about this, so I think that answers that question! I'm going out the fun way!"
He would have chugged himself to death on a bottle of Weasley Wizard's Wonderous Whiskey, but Draco grabbed it from him and threw it long-distance out the kitchen window. A squawk and an explosion of bloody feathers into the kitchen sink informed Draco that he had just killed the famous, renowned, world-wide sensationalist, associate head of Solid's favourite owl.
"So that's it?" Draco asked, making a mental note to buy new owl. "You're just going to give up on her because she's scared?" Blaise scoffed in answer, staggering drunkenly to his feet in search of more liquid.
Searing pain lanced through his head as it was jerked back and hauled along with the rest of him into the kitchen, where a sink full of icy cold water and owl feathers awaited him.
Some time later, fully drenched and with a jaunty owl feather sticking up his left nostril, Blaise emerged from the kitchen, cured of all stupidity…related to the Ginny ordeal, at least. Draco sat him down and performed a drying spell, curbing himself from accidentally igniting Blaise's pants into a flaming torpor for entertainment.
That would have to wait for Christmas.
"Now that you've gotten that out of your system…what are you going to do about this?" Draco asked quietly as he waved his wand and all of the empty bottles disappeared from the room and several adjoining rooms.
Blaise took a deep breath. "I have to get her back."
"And how are you going to do that?"
"Well…"
"Blaise…?"
"…"
"I don't like that look."
"You shouldn't."
"You're not going to do something embarrassing, are you?"
"To be sure."
"Feck, now where's Creevey when you need him?"
"St. Mungo's, I believe. They're still trying to remove the lens from his eye socket."
"Indeed."
"Proud of me?"
"Yes. But you're never going to another wedding on your own."
"Oh, I don't plan to. Not alone."
"You know, I see you , and I see this manic look in your eyes and if I were two, I'd shit myself."
"It's called love, Draco."
"Shitting yourself or acting like a two year old?" At Blaise's glare, he put up his hands. "I know. I know…that's the crazy scary part."
"You have no idea."
……………………
Ginny groaned.
"I know I'm the world's greatest moron, alright? Fuck, stop staring at me!" she screamed.
Hermione smiled softly. "Well, as long as that's clarified…" she trailed off as Ron stalked through the house, muttering something about 'Slytherin-proofing' his apartment. Ginny buried her face into the couch pillow and screamed.
"Why don't you just go back and talk to him?" Hermione asked her large blue pillow that had been a present from George's wife and she absolutely hated it and really wasn't so bothered that Ginny was getting her saliva all over it and that she would have to dispose of it after Ginny was gone.
Katie could kill Ginny for that.
Ginny rolled over. "Because the second he sees me, he's going to try and jump my bones."
"Well, why don't you stop him and talk to him before he gets that far?"
"Because the second I see him, I'm going to try and jump his bones."
"I see. This is fairly complicated."
"Tell me about it…who thought lust would be so complicated. I'm going to kill Dumbledore; this whole inter-house relationship idea was a bad one from the beginning and once Blaise and I are together, I'm going to tell him that." Ginny said decisively.
"And that's a punishment, is it?"
"Good point. Alright…and he's not invited to our wedding."
Hermione smirked. "Whose wedding?" she asked curiously.
"Mine and Bl-" Ginny stopped mid-sentence and her tongue fell out of her mouth as she realized what she'd been about to say.
Hermione was smirking the way only Hermione and her damnable know-it-all ways could smile. "So, you're considering marrying Zabini?" she asked. Ginny's mouth had yet to win its battle with gravity and shock.
"Has he asked you? I didn't think he had. Do you want him to?" Ginny was still silent. "Have you thought about the rest of your life? Is he a part of it?"
Ginny's eye had progressed to ticking anxiously. She had envisioned the rest of her life with Blaise. Apparently without actually putting any thought into it. She wanted it all; the whole wedding and marriage that had so frightened her with Draco. It wasn't that she wasn't ready, it just hadn't been the right person. Blaise was the right person. He would always be the right person. He was the only person for her and her heart had been telling her the whole time and she was beginning to hyperventilate and see red spots because in trying to avoid getting hurt and fucking things up, she had done just that.
"Oh, shit!"
"Vulgar, but yes. Shit, indeed."
Ginny wasn't sure if she should laugh or cry, but she didn't have to make that choice.
Ron came flying into the room, sans his broomstick, skidding to a halt in front of his wife and sister. His mouth was flapping open like a kite in the wind and Ginny was tempted to yank it shut or hex it off.
"I…you…Za…Slyth…Bl…you…I…wha…get your arse out here, right now."
Ginny stood and was promptly pulled out the door into Ron and Hermione's sun room. Ron shoved her in front of the large picture window and with a flick of his wand, opened the huge pane of glass, gesturing for her to look out. A gust of frosty winter air whipped at her face.
"Go on. What do you make of that, then?"
Ginny leaned cautiously out the window, almost entirely sure that Ron wouldn't push her out, but not absolutely, as she was pretty sure he hadn't taken the whole in-love-with-a-Slytherin too well.
What she saw nearly made her fall out the window.
"Oi, Ginger-Pop, get your arse out here!"
…………………….
"Shut the fuck up, Draco."
Draco was writhing on the ground, laughing his arse off in the snow.
Blaise stared up at the window, shivering madly. "Do you think she's up there?"
Draco was too busy dying of laughter to reply.
"Oi, Ginger-Pop, get your arse out here!"
A mane of red hair popped out the window several stories up. "Blaise, what the hell are you bloody doing?" it screamed and he was pleased to hear a note of panic in her voice.
"I'm here to win you over!" he screamed, starting to rub his arms.
"You're going to kill yourself!"
"Tried that already with liquor, it didn't work. Besides, I need to tell you something!"
"What the fuck do you have to fucking tell me that entails you parading down Chechter Street in the buff?" she screamed and Draco started howling again.
Blaise was beginning to lose feeling in his bare feet and began doing a little jig in the middle of the street, which was humiliating enough without the temporary ice age. "Oh, not much. Just that I love you!" he shouted, his teeth chattering, willing his toes to not go numb as he wondered whether being out, exposed in the snow this much would hurt his privates too badly.
"What did I tell you about the romantic thing?"
"Fine…I want you to teach me how to play chess…and I want to do it for the rest of our lives."
"You stupid oaf, I'm going to kill you. You're trying to get hypothermia just because you had to state the obvious? You're un-fucking-believable, you masochistic, self-mutil-" she'd been leaning so far out the window that Blaise actually saw her brother's arms circle her waist and pull her back in. He could also hear the older sibling berating her about her language.
"Ron! Sod off!"
"I live here!"
"Then go in the other room and play with your broomstick."
"Gi-"
"He's fucking freezing out there!"
"If mum finds out-"
"She'll just have to bloody deal with it won't she, because I love him and I want to spend the bloody rest of my life with him!"
………………………….
Ginny glared at Ron for a full minute before an explosion of noise from the window caught her attention. Blaise was jumping up and down angrily and Ginny paused for a moment to admire his body, even in the freezing middle of winter. She really hoped he'd been smart enough to put a Warming Charm on himself.
"-ruddy cow, you ruined the whole thing!"
Ginny leaned out the window again. "What are you on about, you giant naked manky git?"
"I came here to tell you I'm in love with you and-"
"We know that, you sodding wanker-"
"-and if you'd shut your fat mouth, I'd tell you that the next part was going to be that I want to spend the rest of my life arguing at the top of my lungs through windows with you. I want to stand out in the freezing bloody snow…with not a stitch on me…just so I can make you smile. I want to tell you I love you a billion times every day and hear you tell me to shut the hell up because I'm being a hopelessly mushy prat. I want to be with you, Gin, and I don't care how long it takes you to get used to the idea. I want you to marry me, Ginny Weasley." He shouted and Draco finally shut the hell up, interested.
Ginny really did nearly fall out the window.
Blaise could see the breath billowing from her mouth as she breathed heavily.
"Well, I-"
"GINEVRA WEASLEY!"
Blaise jumped a bit at the incredible volume of her brother's voice.
"YOU HAD BETTER SAY YES, YOU STUPID TWIT, OR I WILL TELL MUM AND SHE CAN KILL YOU. THAT WAS DISGUSTINGLY POETIC AND ROMANTIC AND SHITE. THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL AND YOU RUDDY KNOW IT. I KNOW IT AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE THE BERK, SO YOU TELL HIM YOU'LL MARRY HIM OR SO HELP ME, I'LL SHOVE YOU OUT THIS GODRIC-DAMN FUCKING BLOODY WINDOW IN YOUR KNICKERS AND THE TWO OF YOU CAN FREEZE TOGETHER!"
Hermione slapped him over the head and berated him for his language.
"YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, RON!" Ginny shouted back.
Blaise's hopes were starting to plummet drastically.
The red head popped out the window again. "Blaise, get your bloody popsicle-arse up here before your pecker falls off. I love you too, alright, you stupid bastard?"
Blaise was unsatisfied, even though certain parts of his body were beginning to turn an interesting blue colour.
"You still haven't answered my question!" he yelled.
In reply Ginny threw her shoe out the window. Blaise discovered that he did indeed have feeling in his face and that it hurt rather a lot.
"Are you completely deranged, you snot-nosed git? Of course I'll marry you; what took you so bloody long?"