Chapter IX: The Horrors of Babysitting
"Why can't we just take us and them with you?" Robin begged Starfire on his knees. Raven and Starfire were leaving to go get those forgetful items. Naturally, the boys didn't want to be left home with three newborns, and were begging for all of them to come. The girls were smarter though, and knew you don't take a newborn with you shopping. So the boys' desperate attempt was in vain.
"Lover Robin, it will be bad for Whitefire and Bluefire if they go outside. They might get sick. You do not want them sick, do you?" Starfire asked, and watched Robin's face go from red to purple to blue to green to pink and so on. Starfire thought she saw gold in there. Inside Robin's mind, two forces were battling. One didn't want the babies to be hurt in any way. The other wanted to go with Starfire and not baby sit. Starfire decided to give the latter an advantage.
She slid into his arms and smiled brightly, stroking his cheek. Robin's face stopped changing colors, and he froze. She smiled a moment longer then curiously tapped him. Robin fell over, knocked out cold.
A laugh came from behind her. Starfire turned to see Raven laughing, which frightened her somewhat.
"You gave him a heart attack most likely, Starfire. I think that was too much of a touch," Raven explained. Starfire took one more glance at Robin and saw he was smiling slightly. She smiled, and the two turned to leave.
"No!" The girls turned to see Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Fayrii being held psychically by Jack, who didn't mind babysitting (unlike the others, he had training in it; Fayrii had as well except he slept through it). The girls waved, and left. Jack let them go, knowing it was over. The four stood about uncertainly.
"Well, what next?" Cyborg asked.
"Maybe we should go poke Robin," Beast Boy suggested. Fayrii walked over and gave Robin a light kick (which sent him flying across the room). Robin woke up.
"Huh, where'd they go?" Robin asked.
"Starfire sorta gave you the touch and you got a heart attack," Fayrii answered, helping him on his feet.
"Oh yeah," Robin said, an unconscious smile spreading across his face, "I could live off that forever." Apparently he could, because his knees were getting wobbly thinking about it.
"Like you lived off her one night one her honeymoon?" Beast Boy asked. Both Cyborg and Beast Boy laughed hysterically.
Robin looked ready to murder, so Fayrii stepped in between. However, Robin only answered, "So did you off Raven."
That got Beast Boy to stop, but not Cyborg.
Then Mirgath sent them all a message, HELP! WE NEED HELP
All five boys never moved faster. They ran up to the living room, where they were. At first, it seemed peaceful.
"What's the problem, Mirgath?" Beast Boy asked his son. Then everyone's nose discovered the problem: All three of them had managed to fill their diapers.
Fayrii dropped dead instantly, and Cyborg's sensors showed that he might as well have sniffed a gallon of pure ammonium.
Everyone else covered their nose with their shirt, except for Cyborg, and he grabbed a cup and put it over it. Cyborg and Robin started to change the twins' diapers, while Beast Boy tried to change Mirgath's. Jack tried to fan his brother back to life.
"Where are the diapers?" Robin shouted.
"I don't know!" Cyborg returned.
"By the fridge!" Beast Boy answered.
Robin ran to the kitchen counter with Bluefire, and BB and Cy ran over with Whitefire and Mirgath. Then a thud noise was heard. The six looked over to see Jack had fallen dead too. Apparently, Half-faeries' noses are very sensitive, and if it could drive a man insane, I pity Jack and Fayrii.
"I got an idea!" BB shouted, and he pulled out a pot with a grid, setting Mirgath in it. Cyborg resorted to using a portable vet table, while Robin used three layers of blankets.
Beast Boy turned into a squid and using two tentacles, he picked up Mirgath. With another two, he took the diaper off (A/N: Writing this is making me smell it, ugh). He immediately tossed the diaper in the garbage cane. He missed, and it contents, ah what the heck, the crap flew everywhere and got on Cyborg, BB, and Robin.
"BEAST BOY!" Cyborg and Robin shouted simultaneously.
"Sorry!" was BB's only reply. Two tentacles continued to hold the baby high, while the rest tried to clean up with baby wipes.
Cyborg put Whitefire on the table, and slid the diaper off. He made it in the trash can. Then he held Whitefire over the sink, and used the hose to clean her bottom.
"Don't do that to my daughter!" Robin yelled angrily. Whitefire didn't look as though she was enjoying it. Cyborg put the hose away and laid Whitefire back on the table, and began to look for wipes.
Robin had gotten Bluefire's diaper off, but was having trouble cleaning her bottom with the wipes.
Then the worst case scenario happened.
The TV flashed on, and the three titans looked at it. It was Slade.
"Good morning, Titans," Slade started, "How would you…" He stopped as he took in the crap-covered Titans with three babies and two knocked out Half-faeries. At this moment, Fayrii woke up.
Slade began to laugh hysterically, and the Titans stared.
"Oh hearing you got married was amusing, but this is precious!" Slade laughed.
Angry at him, Fayrii's turned blue.
A camera came up. Slade held it and took a picture, laughing. Then Slade looked up, and the Titans saw Slade suddenly hit by a large anvil. The TV turned off.
The Titans stood a while, and then continued to change diapers. Fayrii got up and woke up Jack, and they helped.
Somehow, they managed to change the babies' diapers, clean up everything, and not destroy the world. Quite an accomplishment for my gender, eh?
They proceeded to the couch, and sat down. Jack slipped in a little kid move, called The Emperor's New Groove (Warning: if you have not seen this, you must. It is a top-rate comedy that anyone will enjoy).
When it ended, they played with the three newborns. Mirgath was asking his father, Fayrii, and Cyborg about girls, who gave surprisingly good answers.
Then Mirgath suddenly faded through the floor, thinking, Ha-ha! Bluefire, Whitefire and I decided to play hid and look. You won't be able to find us
Bluefire and Whitefire flew off in different directions, and the five boys looked at each other.
"Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Fayrii, look for Mirgath and Whitefire," Robin ordered, his tone shaky, "Jack you come with me to find Bluefire."
Frightened of trouble, they set out to find them. Robin slowly slid into the shadows, and followed a trail along the floor, which consisted of slight tuffs of diaper. Robin normally would have missed them since they were so small they seemed like mouse crumbs. But the adrenaline going through him bettered his vision. Jack followed silently, green psy filling his eyes as he looked around.
This was going to be trouble.