Chapter XIII: Catastrophic Chaos
Robin took a deep breath.
"I can't believe we just stole the Thunderbird from the Smithsonian," he mumbled. Starfire sensed confusion from him, as if he didn't know who he was.
"Hey, what's this button do?" Cyborg said. He pressed it, and the Thunderbird hit Mach 12. He pressed it again. The engines shot forward and ripped off the wings, leaving the jet far behind. Within time they would crash into China and wipe out everyone who saw them except for an old man, and World War III would start.
"The Americans are attacking!" the man said, and Chinese officials readied their knock-off Thompsons, only to be wasted by the U.S. wooden sticks…
"Hey!" Beast Boy shouted. "Can we stay on topic? Our kids have been kidnapped, hello!"
Sorry. Got too much into it.
The Titans now found themselves hovering in midair without any way to stay afloat. Cyborg calculated how fast they were going and discovered they would crash–land in Paris, so it didn't matter. They would smash into the four-legged of wires whose name escapes my memory. The Eiffel Tower, that's it!
"Well, now what?" Raven asked. Cyborg sighed. We have to wait.
The Hitchhiker's Guide has this to say about waiting:
It sucks.
Slade walked out of the room. He was soaked, cut, bruised, beaten, and pissed. It was enough. He was going to kill the babies, and the Titans when they arrived. All thoughts of an apprentice were wiped from his mind.
He wanted the babies dead. But not before he had his fun. Slade walked over to a microphone. He pressed one of many buttons.
"Slay," he said into the microphone. A shifting noise was heard through a speaker. Slade smiled evilly. "I've got toys for you," he announced. The speaker went wild with scraping noises. Slade laughed evilly. Then he farted.
Somewhere else in Paris, a Frenchman shouted, "I surrender!"
"Holy carp! Wait, I mean crap! Holy Crap!"
Robin arose to the sound of Beast Boy's shouts, and looked out his window. The Eiffel Tower was all around them. In fact, they had hit it awhile ago. Robin unfastened his seatbelt and gritted his teeth. He sensed anger from Starfire. Raven used her powers to break open the door. The Titans hopped down the 57 feet to the bottom, and hopped in the T-car.
"Alright, now where in Paris was he?" Robin asked as he drove to the city limits.
"Actually, Lover Robin," Starfire answered. "It was beneath the Tower of Eiffel." The car stopped, and Robin beat his head into the wheel.
"I hate myself some days," Robin muttered. In Taiwan, someone decided it was time to pee.
The Titans drove back to the Eiffel Tower and hopped out of the T-car, which disappeared back to Fort Jackson. Raven used her powers to find the entrance, and Starfire ripped the hatch open. They hopped down into the base. A doughnut followed, but since it was broken down into sugar by a duck, its story is unimportant. Instead its partner, the cheeseburger, became a hero to food by killing off the power supply to French food places. The food revolted and killed all the French people (including the author unfortunately) by chopping their heads off.
Yes, before you ask, I'm dead. Yes, I am a ghost. No, Horse Radish is not a musical instrument. Mayonnaise is not an instrument either. And vice versa.
Starfire led the search through what appeared to be sewers. They turned left and found metal bars in the way. It was a dead end. Inside was a man in black. A dead man in brown lay on the ground.
"Are you prisoners of Slade?" Starfire asked. The man in black shook his head.
"No, I'm a Sith," he answered. "But I am captured. My fellow…Jedi (kill him, kill him, yesss) died of a…accident. Will you let me go? I haven't had a hot dog in years. I'll give you the lightsabers."
Before could answer, Cyborg let him go. The Sith gave them three lightsabers and ran off. He died a few weeks later of cholesterol poisoning. But back to the lightsabers. There was a single-bladed green, a single-bladed blue, and a double-bladed red. Cyborg hid them and they continued on.
Deeper in the base, Slay was let in with the babies.