Wahh! I'm so sorry! I would have updated sooner but my freakin' computer won't let me go on the internet! What? Wadda you mean that's not a good enough excuse? Fine! No fic for you!sticks tongue out I'm gonna walk away from my computer now, pretend I never posted the first chapter to this…what's that? You're sorry! Yeah! Okay! You win I'll update!

Disclaimer: Really? I own Yu-Yu-Hakusho! Oh My God! You don't know how long I've been waiting for this day!sob

Boldauthors note

Ahhh, a door. A wooden item uprooted from some forest in Brazil in order to hold us prisoner to whatever place it's blocking the exit of. The biggest tattle tale in the entire world. For no matter how softly you try to shut them, they always slam back into their place. Both alerting your warden of your escape and preventing others from following suit. What could be hidden just beyond this imposing piece of wood? The greatest treasures of the world? The meaning of life? The everlasting flames of Hell? Cheese! Not in this case. Behind this particular door was Keiko Yukimura's new class.

Keiko: class 123. How original. glances at other doors along the hall Holy Shit! They all say 'class 123'! O.O

The door in front of Keiko swung open. A tall, dark man with an evil aura surrounding him stood within the frame of the door. At least he looked tall, dark, and evil. Then the light above them turned on and Keiko was forced to look way down in order to see him. He looked a bit like her grandpa. Same teeny tiny spectacles perched so far down his nose that Keiko wandered how he could possibly see through them, same Albert Einstein hair, even a similar face. Round and so wrinkly you could barely see his eyes.

Teacher: Yes? (He's talking pretty loudly since he's practically deaf. And mumbling so you can barely understand what he's saying so he sounded like he was saying "yemsh")

Keiko: I'm the new student Keiko Yukimura.

Teacher: may go?

Keiko: Keiko!

Teacher: You don't have to ask me to go to the bathroom miss I'm not your teacher!

Keiko: Yes you are!

Teacher: Par? I didn't know we were playing golf!

Keiko:leans down and screams into his ear I'm the new student!

Teacher: I don't know why your screaming young lady, but you must be Keiko Yukimura! The office said you'd be coming!

Keiko:falls to the ground anime style

Teacher: Whatever you're looking for Miss Yukimura pick it up and hurry up! The class is dying to meet you! I'm Mr. Chibi by the way. (Hee Hee! Get it? Mr. Chibi! Ha Ha Ha!)

The students were dying alright. But not to see Keiko like Mr. Chibi had said. A loud red haired kid was speaking, you guessed it, loudly to the class about how he was Number One Punk at Amy Fischer Junior High. And the kids were dying of boredom. One of the kids pulled out a sniper from god knows where and was aiming it at the self proclaimed 'Number One Punk of Amy Fischer Junior High'.

Mr. Chibi: Class, settle down. I'd like you all to meet Miss Keiko Yukimura.

The Red Haired Moron continued with his speech on why he was the greatest, the one kid continued aiming his sniper, the class was still dying of boredom, and Mr. Chibi was trying to write Keiko's name on the board but he was much to short and he could only manage the bottom of the letters at the very bottom of the chalkboard. Keiko took this opportunity to glance around the classroom. It was like any other class. White walls, evil windows showing you the beauty of the outside world (ever notice that their so freakin' clean that it fools your happiness deprived brain into thinking the glass isn't really their and you can jump through this hole in the wall to your freedom? Only to get a concussion?) painfully bright and colorful posters hung up everywhere-ceiling, chalkboard, bulletin board, desks, doors-except the windows. (of course they can't cover up the windows! They don't want us to figure it out!) Even the seating arrangements were the same. Single file rows. Although personally Keiko preferred this arrangement. You could draw pictures of yourself torturing your classmates and no one would know! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! WORLD DOMINATION! WORLD DOMINATION! DIE SPONGEBOB OBSESSED, GOSSIPING, NARROWMINDED, MAKE-UP FANATIC, HORMONE SLAVE, ZOMBIES! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DI-

Mr. Chibi: Ummm, Miss Yukimura? Are you okay?

Keiko: What chu talkin' 'bout Chibi?

Mr. Chibi: Well you were screaming something about world domination, and killing zombies.

Keiko: Well, um, you see…

Mr. Chibi: I understand Miss Yukimura.

Keiko: You do?

Mr. Chibi: Yes. I've dealt with many young women when their time of the month comes. You're no different. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Keiko: O.O What! I'm not on my- oh right, my time of the month. That's right Mr. Chibi! That's why I was acting like that. Wink Wink

Mr. Chibi: are you ready to resume class?

Keiko: Yep!

Mr. Chibi: Wonderful! Now then you shall be sitting next to-

Who will Keiko be sitting next to? Why is Mr. Chibi so short? Who was aiming the sniper at 'the red haired moron'(if you don't know who the red haired moron is by now your hopeless)? Where are my socks? Why am I asking you these questions? For all these answers and more stay tuned for the next chapter of 'Alice Ain't Got Nothin' On Me!'! (AAGNOM for short)

Notes:

Chibi mini in Japanese

Amy Fischer A woman who was dating this guy who was married and had promised her that if his wife was gone he would marry her. So she went to his house knocked on the door, the wife answered, she shot the woman in the head.(the woman survived but she's disfigured) and then Amy went to jail. What a romantic story.

Yep. That's the end of the chapter. No more. Stop reading now. Okay, you can stop now. WHY WON'T YOU STOP! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

See the pretty purple button? Push the pretty purple button. Just imagine its red or something. Push it Damnit!