A/N: Two Things, I'm glad you guys are liking this fic! Yay! And secondly, the song, Love is Broken is owned by So Weird and was sang by Mackenzie Phillips (Molly Phillips on the show) and I did make some lyric adjustments. Where it says "it's dark outside and the world's asleep" it's supposed to be, it's dark outside and the baby's asleep. Now, I changed it, b/c T and J don't have a baby…yet…quite possibly there's going to be a sequel to the sequel, have an idea and everything, courtesy of my beta after I told her the rough outline of this fic (gonna be shorter than Two Worlds : ( ). And, back on track, another lyric adjustment I made was where It says walking in the Toronto city snow, it's supposed to be NYC snow (New York City, for those who don't know the abbrev) and again, lyric change felt necessary. Other wise, I don't own that song, just love it lots! This chapter itself is 6 pages long, the longest, I think, of any story I've ever wrote! ANYWHO! I hope you guys enjoy the chapter, if you even bothered to read my ramblings, I think this is the longest yet and if you didn't read it, than I'll know by the end, cuz I already mentioned a follow up fic to this ;) Hope you all enjoy and I'll 'shut up' so you can read my fic!
OH! Last thing! I promise! I have no clue when chap 6 will be up…I'm currently attempting to write it, not really liking it, but my beta says the opening is good, I think it's crap, so I'm gonna work on it later…get more creative juices flowing.
Chapter 5
April 5, 2008
3:26 pm
Dear Diary
I know it's been awhile since my last entry, but I've been busy. Tommy's still in the hospital. He hasn't woke up and the doctors don't seem to positive he's ever going to. After spending 3 consecutive days in the hospital, Kwest managed to convince me to go home and rest, but only because he promised to stay with Tommy and to call if anything changed. It's been two weeks, and still no change. Nothing.
It's strange, because the whole world is still going on like nothing happened. I can't stop thinking about him, wondering if he's ok, when he's going to wake up, when he's going to wake up, and the world is just going about its own business. It's almost like he doesn't matter to anyone but me. I know it's not true, but everyone is back to work. It seems I'm the only one who can't...and I won't give up until he's awake and here with me.
Georgia tried convincing me to come to work and work on some tracks with Kwest, but I can't. Even if I wanted to, I can't focus right now, not on anything but him and his recovery. I just hope he wakes up soon. I don't know how long I can do this…how long I can keep this up.
April 12, 2008
Jude stepped into the studio for the first time in over two weeks. She couldn't bring herself to come here, but she had to record a song she just wrote. She knew it would bother her until she did. As she walked through the halls to Studio A, the staff of G Major stopped her and offered condolences and regrets. Jude thanked them, but headed into the studio where Kwest was waiting for her. When she stepped in, her guitar over her shoulder, Kwest glanced up from the soundboard.
"you sure you wanna do this?" Kwest asked, knowing she hadn't left Tommy's bedside unless she had to. Jude nodded.
"I need to do this." She said. Kwest nodded. They had talked about the song earlier that day; Jude was doing it acoustic, like Skin, only this was a whole pain in her voice. She stepped behind the soundproof glass, and got herself ready. She took a deep breathe and glanced up to Kwest, nodding. Kwest signaled her he was ready and she strummed the first couple chords, light, almost like a lullaby, and then got fast and powerful and back again, the chords were filled with pain, sadness, and a slight hint of anger. It was choppy and not professional; it sounded as if it was the first time she ever picked up a guitar, but it was strangely beautiful as it slipped back into it's lullaby like melody. Her voice conveyed a pain she never was able to convey before and Kwest was hypnotized into silence. Her song was like a train wreck. Strangely beautiful, but at the same time…it made him want to cry with its meaning.
"It's dark outside and the world is asleep
You're going for a ride
Why is it black?
What is this tingle on the back of my neck?
It's cold outside and the fire's burned out
You're going for a ride
Don't go
Walking down the sidewalk
In Toronto City snow
A stranger brushed against us
His face was all in shadows
A shiver ran right down my spine
I pulled your arm through mine
Shut my eyes and I can see
The night I whispered tenderly
Your breath is still on my lips
Your touch is on my fingertips
Your tears are still on my cheek
Your voice still makes me weak
Gifts I will never give to you
Lives I will never live with you
Words that'll never be spoken
The moment I lose you
Love is broken
Love is broken
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Didn't want to love you
Didn't want to go that deep
Didn't want a dream to come true
Just to lose it while I sleep
Every night I held you tight
Don't take him from me now
Every day I'd wake and say
I've got to keep it one more day
Thank you
Thank you for this day
Gifts I will never give to you
Lives I will never live with you
Words that'll never be spoken
The moment I lose you
Love is broken
Love is broken
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Walking down the hallway
Turning off the lights
You hold me
But it's time to say goodnight
Your breath is still on my lips
Your touch is on my fingertips
Your tears are still on my cheek
Your voice still makes me weak
Gifts I will never give to you
Lives I will never live with you
Words that'll never be spoken
The moment I lose you
Your breath is still on my lips
Your touch is on my fingertips
Your tears are still on my cheek
Your voice still makes me weak
Gifts I will never give to you
Lives I will never live with you
Words that'll never be spoken
The moment I lose you
Love is broken
Love is broken
Love is broken
Love is broken"
Jude finished the last melodies, and Kwest noticed that while she sang, she had tears welling up in her eyes. At last last strum of her guitar, Jude let out a broken sob. Kwest leaped out of his chair and entered the recording booth. He stepped cautiously to Jude and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Jude snapped her head to him, gasping slightly, as if she forgot he was even on the other side of the glass. Kwest gave her a look of sympathy and she turned to him, and threw her arms around Tommy's best friend and continued to cry. Kwest held her, wondering what the young singer would do if the love of her life didn't make it. At that moment, Kwest wished he was the one in the hospital. He knew it should have been. If he had been paying more attention, Tommy wouldn't be in a coma and he could be here, with her. It wasn't right and he would forever feel guilty for the couple's stolen time.
Jude's sobs quieted and Kwest let her go. Jude let out a sniff and wiped her eyes.
"Sorry," She muttered, feeling embarrassed for breaking down.
"Don't be," Kwest said, giving her a sad smile. "That song…wow." Kwest said, not being able to say anything else about it. Jude sniffed.
"It just…came to me." She said, and took a shaky breath. "Did it come out ok?" She asked. Kwest shook his head.
"I'll hafta check." He said, and added "You going to be ok?" Jude shook her head negatively.
"I'm better now, but I won't be ok until he wakes up." Jude stated honestly. Kwest nodded. Jude let out a sigh. "I'm going to go and freshen up…you should check the track." Jude stated, getting up out of her seat and walking towards the bathroom. Kwest's eyes followed her the whole time, his gaze full of worry and concern for the singer.
Jude pushed the bathroom door open and stepped over to the mirror. She glanced at her reflection and barely recognized the girl who stared back. She let out another sniff, and looked away from her haunted eyes and ran some water in the sink and splashed her face. Once done, she placed her hands on the sink and leaned her weight into it and let her head hang.
She honestly had no idea where that song had come from. She had woken up this morning and it was there, ready to be wrote. She never actually wrote out the lyrics, just strummed out a couple chords and called Kwest to have him record the song. She never sang it, never really played it until that moment. She took a couple deep breaths and stepped back out of the restroom.
Once in the hall, EJ and Georgia came running up to her, big grins on their faces. Jude suppressed a groan. She couldn't deal with their publicity things at the moment. She turned and ran out of the building. She didn't want to deal with all of this right now. She didn't care how the track turned out and tears still blurred her vision as she loped out to her car. She leaped in and raced to the hospital, squealing her tires as she pulled out of the parking lot.
Jude raced to the hospital, parked in her usual parking spot (or close to) and walked through the halls, mechanically, and stopped once she stepped into a lone room. She stared at the figure on the bed, marveling how Tommy's color seemed to have came back and how some of the bandages had been taken off his body and his head wasn't wrapped as thickly.
Jude stepped over to the bed, carefully and quietly, as if she was afraid to wake him. She laughed bitterly as she realized what she was doing and felt tears fall down her face again. She let out a broken sob and climbed carefully into the bed and curled up next to Tommy, her face buried in his chest, one arm around his midsection, the other holding his arm around her. She felt oddly comforted in this position and her sobs stopped and tears still ran down her face. She lay next to her boyfriend, marveling in the comfort he could offer, even when comatose. She felt oddly relaxed and felt the taxing days taking its toll on her. She felt her eye lids grow heavy and she gave into sleep, feeling peaceful for the first time in over a month.
Jude didn't know how long she slept, but she woke to feeling a hand playing with her hair. Her brain didn't register it and she smiled sweetly, forgetting for a moment where she was. When realization hit her, she glanced up and gaped at what she saw. Tommy's blue eyes were open and staring back at her, an odd expression on his face. She smiled brightly at him and threw her arms around him again in a bone crushing hug.
"Oh my god, you're awake!" She said, smiling brightly into his chest again. She felt him stiffen slightly under her and she was afraid she was hurting him and moved away, but not getting out of the bed.
"Jude…" Tommy said, looking slightly confused. "What are you doing here?" He asked her. Jude felt her blood run cold for a moment. She stared at him incredulously.
"You were in a car accident…I was worried about you." Jude said, feeling something was off about him and she couldn't place it.
"That still doesn't explain why…" Before Tommy could utter another word, a doctor entered the room. Jude jumped off the bed and beamed at the doctor, pushing their odd conversation out of her mind for a moment. The doctor looked pleased to see Tommy awake and ushered Jude out of the room so he could run some tests. Jude left the room, feeling relief flood over her. He's going to be ok…She thought, smiling at the realization. She frowned a moment after. Why was he looking at me that way…Jude thought, and thought more on the subject. He acted almost like…She couldn't bring herself to continue the thought. No, you're just imagining things, She chided herself. You've watched too many soap operas and they're playing with your mind…Tommy's just confused about the accident that's all…he probably thought I would be at the studio or something…no big. She reasoned, not wanting to realize the awful truth that was staring at her in the face. The doctor stepped out of the room, and Jude looked at him, her eyes apprehensive.
"Ms. Harrison.."
Moments later, the door opened and the doctor walked over to Jude, looking slightly grim.
"Something's wrong, isn't it?" Jude asked, feeling her heart sink.
"Ms. Harrison"
"Call me Jude." Jude stated, not wanting to deal with being formal.
"Jude then, I believe Tommy is suffering from mild amnesia." He said, and added "The good news is, I believe the memory loss to be temporary, but we're going to run some tests to make sure."
"How temporary is temporary?" Jude asked, feeling concerned.
"We don't know. He could remember everything in ten minutes, ten hours, a day, a week, even a year or more. There's just no way to know. In some instances, he could very well possibly not regain a single memory that he has lost. Rare, but it happens." The doctor said, and Jude let the information process in her brain.
"How much memory loss is there? I mean, he knew who I was…"
"I asked him what date it was, and he answered…" The doctor glanced back at his notes "September 15, 2005."
Jude's mind worked out the math, she had won the instant star competition on September 2, and played for the first time at the Viper Palace on the 5th…and they recorded 24 hours and worked on I'm In Love With My Guitar during the rest of September. Her heart sank as she realized that he barely knew her, barely remembered her.
"Thanks…" Jude said, feeling her world crash around her.