Chapter 7 – Uncertainties

It was nearing noon and Hitomi just woke up from her slumber. She could hear the racket of the nearby construction site and the mid-day traffic. She's back to her mother's apartment.

Hitomi was unwilling to get out of bed. She remained still like as if she is glued to her bed sheets. Her mother gave her permission to miss out on school today. She definitely needed a day off school. Last night's events brought Hitomi to an emotional breakdown. She didn't get much sleep last night because she spent the whole night silently grieving. She only fell asleep during the early hours of dawn in her mother's embrace. Her mother spent the whole night comforting her.

A tear streaked down Hitomi's cheek. My life surely took a big leap. It's all planned out. What am I going to do now?

After the whole night of thinking she has finally understood the reason behind her engagement to Van and has accepted it wholeheartedly. The last night's events replayed in her mind.

-- FLASHBACK --

Hitomi found herself in a company with new faces. Sitting in a chair beside Van was a woman with gentle eyes and face features identical to Van's. Next to her, was a man in his 20's bearing light blue hair that certainly stands out as the people beside him have dark hair. Next to him sat a stern looking man with prominent features. Hitomi finally saw Van's real family. Judging by their actions and behavior, they are a well-respected family.

Mr. Kanzaki's lawyer said his greetings and proceeded along to discuss the arrangements between the Fanel and Kanzaki family. He started off with both families' financial history and outlined the events that lead to the current agreement.

Every person in the room was attentive and didn't dare to distract the speaker.

Everyone turned anxious as the lawyer was about to declare the agreement between Mr. Goau Fanel and Mr. Kanzaki. Mrs. Varie Fanel and Ms. Kanzaki held their child's hand tightly. The lawyer started. "Mister Van Fanel, son of Mr. Goau Fanel and Mrs. Varie Fanel, and Miss Hitomi Kanzaki, daughter of Mr. and Ms. Kanzaki are to be engaged before the end of next year and are to be married within 24 months after the engagement. Once married, both Van and Hitomi will gain full ownership of their family assets including the businesses."

Hitomi's eyes widened with shock.

-- END OF FLASHBACK --

Hitomi heaved a sigh. It's all planned out. I'm off to a shallow and meaningless marriage. In three years time I will own dad's money. No matter how much she thinks ill of the idea of an arranged marriage, she can't help but think of the Fanel family's welfare. I can't refuse to do it! I don't want myself on a damn guilt trip!

Hitomi heard her stomach grumble loudly. Oh God. I'm so hungry. I better get up and eat. I'm definitely not planning to starve myself. Mom, probably prepared lunch by now. Hitomi finally slid out of bed and headed downstairs to the kitchen.

She got out of her room and checked the nearby clock. It's still lunch time at school. I better call Yukari to remind her to call me later and tell me what I missed out today. She back to her room to retrieve her mobile phone. Seeing that the battery was empty, she decided to call Yukari via landline.

Hitomi picked up the handset and held it against her ear to check for a dial tone. Instead of a dial tone, she heard her mother's voice then a man's voice. Mom is talking to Dad. Her calm mood faltered upon hearing her father's voice.

She was about to hang up, but as she heard her father's words her mood moved towards grief and despair with a hint of revulsion. Her father has said, "You told me that by spending more time with Hitomi, she will be able to accept the terms easily. Her being there right now unnerves me. I sacrificed my work for this. It's really hard to get work done at home."

Upon hearing her father's statement, she put the handset back silently. Just as I thought, he would rather do his work than spend time with me. So I'm a burden to my father after all! He was just forced by mom to spend time with me so I can get back in good terms with him and eventually agree to his agendas.

Her stomach grumbling loudly once again snapped her out of misery. Her stomach needs some feeding. Hitomi climbed downstairs and headed for the kitchen.

Ms. Kanzaki heard her daughter approach the kitchen. A smile stretched across her face. She thought her daughter will never leave her room.

Hitomi looked towards her mother. She walked to her direction. As she same close, she flung her arms around her mother embracing her. Hitomi's eyes started filling up with tears.

Ms. Kanzaki embraced her daughter back tightly. She whispered, "Honey, why don't you have some lunch."

Hitomi let go and wiped her tears. She meekly replied, "Ok." She settled herself on the dining chair.

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The school bell rang indicating the end of school.

Yukari and Millerna gathered up their books and packed their school bags. They endured a whole day of depression. Unlike other students going about their lives happily, both of them seemed to be enveloped unending anxiety. They were unable to concentrate during classes since their minds always found its way thinking about the burden placed upon Hitomi.

Millerna walked out of the classroom followed closely by Yukari. "Let's go visit Hitomi."

Millerna's thought simply mirrored Yukari's. "Oh yeah, we have to visit her anyway. She sent me a text message to tell her about the stuff she missed out on." The fact that only receiving a short message from Hitomi got Yukari more concerned. Hitomi either calls or sends lengthy text messages.

Both girls walked together side by side in silence, finding their way through the rampage of students.

Finally getting out of the building both girls had shown signs to relief from regaining space around themselves. Walking on the way to the bus stop, Millerna suddenly caught sight of Allen's solitary figure. His head was propped down and his hands in his pockets. Millerna called out, "Hey Allen!"

Allen, hearing the familiar voice of Millerna, continued walking and pretended that he didn't hear anything.

Millerna called out once again and got no reply. "Damn! He's avoiding me!"

"Give him some space Millerna. He went through a hard ordeal himself."

"I know. Well let's get going, we might miss the bus." Millerna watched Allen get into his car and drive off.

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Allen stood facing Celena's tombstone. On it he placed a bouquet of white lilies, her favorite.

"I'm so sorry." Allen whispered softly. "I acted so stupid."

He was on the verge of fully hating himself. Last night's events opened his eyes real wide. The real story behind Celena's death reached his ears.

-- FLASHBACK --

Upon hearing the statement involving the betrothal of Van and Hitomi, Allen gasped with shock along with half the people on the room. He looked at Hiomi, who had her face hidden by her mother's embrace. Sympathy crept up his sapphire eyes. He then turned to look at Van. As Van looked back at him, he gave him an apologetic gaze. Van nodded as a sign of forgiveness.

Allen, in turn, looked at the man he despises so much. Folken Fanel. The man he thought was the indirect perpetrator of his sister's death. Although Celena's death was deemed a fatal accident, in Allen's eyes, Folken appears as the murderer.

Celena ran away from home for a sole reason, to be with Folken. The idea of Celena and Folken being a pair was greatly despised by Leon and Encia. They knew that Folken's family is filthy rich, but they cared less about the fortune. Leon and Encia judged Folken with his past. At the duration of his teenage years, he spent some time in juvenile hall due to drug-trafficking. His ways never changed as the years went by. He continued getting into crimes that always got him placed in jail. He encountered lots of law suits on cases that involved sexual assault. His family's fortune enabled him not to face extremely heavy penalties. Leon and Encia didn't want their daughter to get involved with a criminal.

However Celena loved Folken despite his law-breaking acts. She knew the real Folken. She knew the real reason behind those unacceptable acts. According to her, Folken acted that way in response to the high expectations placed upon him. He doesn't want his spirit constrained. Neither does he want his future set by somebody else, other than himself. He wanted his parents to give up on him since he knew he couldn't just refuse to his parents' wishes, which are much more like demands.

No matter how much Celena debated upon the subject, she couldn't changed her parents' minds. Leon and Encia banned their daughter from seeing Folken and threatened to disown her is she did against their will.

Then she did. She ran away. Little did she know that by making that decision, she'll get involved in an accident that would end her life.

Celena's story was deeply etched in to Allen's heart. Allen's hatred with Folken never ceased. Seeing Folken once again and the fact that he is only meters away from him, Allen's eyes fired up with anger. Irrational thought crept up his mind. He wanted to lunge at Folken and go for a deadly beating.

But Allen held back since it wasn't the right place and time to perform a gruesome task. It is a task that Celena will definitely frown upon. Allen looked deeply in Folken's eyes. Folken's eyes showed the signs of having a great big inner self struggle. They weren't cold and ruthless. Those were the eyes of someone who had suffered a great loss. Folken, who Celena knew and loved, didn't have the eyes of a criminal.

Allen grew confused and questioned himself if he got it all wrong.

-- END OF FLASHBACK --

Allen continued to whisper, picturing Celena in his mind. "I've been living while believing on such rubbish lies. I want the truth. I want some answers."

Allen heard footsteps, walking in his direction, its pace steady. Not sensing any trepidation, he chose not to care thinking it was just a passerby.

The footsteps continued and stopped next to Allen. The owner of the footsteps bent down any placed a bouquet of white lilies on the foot of Celena's tombstone. The man spoke, "This is a very odd place to unexpectedly meet, although I think it is most appropriate because of the current circumstances."

Allen looked at the man standing next to him. It was Folken. Allen's eyes once again fired in anger and his fists were clenched hard. "Why are here?" His tome of voice was full of hatred. He trembled in fury.

Folken answered calmly, "Isn't it s bit obvious?"

"What! Paying respect to the person you killed!" Allen spoke with full of spite.

"Just to let you know, I do blame myself for your sister's death."

"At least you and I agree on something."

"I shouldn't have let her go that early. If only I forced her to stay a bit longer. Things would have turned out differently."

"What do you mean by shouldn't have let her go! It was you idea for Celena to go back home! What the hell are you talking about!" Allen has been constraining himself from talking a strike at Folken and causing his so much pain. Upon hearing his words, he grew confused.

"I owe you the truth and I'll tell you. It's you decision whether you want to believe it or not. I know that you're stopping yourself to cause me physical pain. I want you to go ahead if you wish. I deserve it anyway. I took Celena from you family. It is me who is to blame from her death."

Allen was stunned and was unable to speak. The guy he hated so much mirrored his thoughts.

Folken continued, "Your sister shed a light in my life. I cherished her deeply. I loved her. She looked beyond my externalities and never judged me. She understood me and never left my side. She changed my life. She stopped me from making the biggest mistake in my life, which is leaving and disregarding my family, and yet I was letting her leave her family for me. You parents prohibited Celena from seeing me and yet she still comes. I swelled in pride that she wanted to be with me. She ran away from you family into my arms. I suddenly felt disgusted from my selfishness, seeing her cry almost every night as she left you family. She always bore a smile for me during daylight and always shed a tear at night. I told her to go home. She insisted on staying but I forced her into it. To return the favor of helping me with my life, I intended to help her. First step was going back to her family. I was relieved that she did. We went on our separate ways back to our families."

Folken paused for a bit. "The accident… I should have… If only…" Folken was unable to continued. Regrets have lingered within him.

Silence broke out. Allen and Folken stood there, gazes locked in Celena's tombstone. Not one uttered a word. Both were overwhelmed with emotions.

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Days have passed and the atmosphere still reeked of depression. In Hitomi's case, indulging into her school work hasn't done much good on helping to preoccupy her mind from thinking about the future that her 'loving' father had planned.

Friday, the end of the school week has come and all the students were on high spirits for the upcoming weekend of no school. The end-of-school bell rang and all the students rushed out of classrooms.

"It's finally Friday!" Millerna exclaimed with great relief. "I thought this week would never end." She turned to Hitomi and Yukari walking beside her. "You girls want to go to the mall? I found this really cute top in a magazine and I so want to try it out!"

"Sure. Sure. I have to buy something anyway," Yukari agreed.

"How about you, Hitomi?"

"Oh…Umm… Sorry I can't go. Umm… Van called me last night. He wanted to talk personally so he's picking me up in a moment." Hitomi looked around and saw Van leaning onto a black sports car. "Oh there he is now."

Yukari frowned at Hitomi. "Hey, Hitomi. How about Allen?"

Hitomi racked her brain to come up with an answer. "Oh…Umm…We…already talked about it."

Yukari was disappointed with Hitomi's answer. But instead, she smiled and replied, "Oh I see. Well I trust that you have made the right decision. So I'll see you on Monday."

Millerna and Yukari said their goodbyes to Hitomi and watched her retreating figure.

As Hitomi walked further along away from them, Yukari suddenly made a remark, "She is such a terrible liar."

Millerna agreed. "I know. It's pretty harsh of you to give her the pleasure of indulging in a guilt trip."

"That's what friends are for Millerna." Yukari gave Millerna a cheeky smile.

"Well, let me just tell you, I won't require any of that from you!"

Yukari laughed. "Since you told me that, you better expect one!"

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Damn Yukari! I can't believe she told me that when I'm about to meet Van, for God's sake! Hitomi was practically shouting inside her head. With the car window opened, the cool breeze slapping against her face clamed her a bit.

Van grew worried with the awkwardness between him and Hitomi. Hitomi being silent, made him feel worse. As the car approached a red light, he looked at Hitomi. Upon seeing a pout on her face he asked, "Is there anything wrong?" Van suddenly realized what he just asked. What the hell am I thinking asking that question! It's only been a few days. The events surely haven't gotten off her head! He badly wanted to take the question back but he was too late. All he can do right now is wait for a reply or an attack of some kind. Silently he prayed for not receiving an attack. He doesn't wish to die just yet, especially in a car accident.

Looking out the window, Hitomi answered silently. "Nah… Everything's going fine."

Van heaved a sigh, which Hitomi didn't see or hear. Damn it! I've got to stop overreacting! Although, I don't think she'd telling the truth. He continued the conversation. "So, is there any place you want to go to? Is there anything you fancy?"

"Nah… I don't want to cause you much trouble."

"It's not trouble at all!" Van smiled reassuringly. "Well, I guess I'll he picking the place then."

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Van called on to Hitomi to witness the scene right before his eyes. Looking towards the horizon he said, "This is my favorite place in the world. This is my sanctuary."

Hitomi gasped. She has never seen such beautiful scenery. They were both standing on top of a cliff overlooking the endless deep blue ocean meeting up with the majestically cloud stricken sky showing an exquisite harmony of the cool hues of blue.

Van smiled at Hitomi's silent awe. "You better see it during sunset." He looked at his wrist watch. 'The sun will set in 2 hours. You want to wait for it?"

"I sure will!" Hitomi exclaimed in excitement. "How did you find this place? It's pretty secluded."

"Well, my father owns this land, even the beach down below. It's really great we can afford to keep it. It would be such a drag if this land gets sold. I sound so selfish right now, but I would really hate its natural beauty get tainted."

"Yeah…." Hitomi looked out into the blue horizon once again still in awe. "You're really lucky to own this place."

"You'll soon share the luck."

Hitomi suddenly same out of her trance, upon hearing those words. The beauty of the place made her forget about her troubles and hearing those words made all of it come rushing back into her mind.

Van sensed tension that suddenly emerged. Damn it! Why do I keep saying the wrong things? He watched Hitomi slowly settle herself on a nearby big rock with gloom printed all over her face. Hitomi's character puzzled him greatly but it somehow endears him. He still can't stop thinking about his passionate encounter with Hitomi days ago. He actually dreaded this meeting with Hitomi but it seems from the things are going, it never happened. I guess the place took an effect on her like it does to me. The beauty of this place has the power to uplift your spirit and drown your worries and troubles into oblivion. I want her to break free and be at ease even just for a short time. Why do I have to say the wrong things?

"Van, I'm sorry for thinking wrongly about you." Hitomi spoke in a soft tone with her eyes cast down on the ground. "I'm sorry for the things I did and say. I acted way irrational."

Van was taken aback from Hitomi's remark. Somehow he felt relieved that Hitomi started the conversation on the subject that's been bothering him thoroughly. He wanted some answers.

Hitomi continued, not waiting for Van's response. She couldn't keep those thoughts locked up in her mind anymore. It felt as if her head was going to explode. "I'm terribly sorry for playing around with you emotions. I've been selfish with my actions and I definitely didn't consider about your version of the story which turned out to be the real one. My senses got over me and I acted in a harsh manner. I am terribly sorry. Things would have turned out differently if it wasn't for me." Hitomi's train of thought kept going and going and this left Van astounded.

Van, thinking her little speech would never end, walked towards her and crouched down facing her. He said her name calmly. "Hitomi…"

Hitomi still continued. "I'm so darn stupid. I've made things so complicated when they're not even supposed to be. That… that kiss, it was so unnecessary…" Hitomi was surprised of the calling the kiss unnecessary. She asked herself, was it really unnecessary?

Mentioning the kiss alerted Van. The question of why Hitomi kissed him lingered in his mind for days. Now, he just had a grasp of the reason of doing it or pretty much her thoughts about it. Seeing Hitomi's head bowed down, he once again called on to Hitomi calmly. "Hitomi…."

This led Hitomi to stop talking and looked up at Van. She felt a sense of relief upon seeing him bearing a smile on his face. Looking into his eyes, she still persisted, "I'm sorry…"

Van, finally having the chance to talk, said, "That kiss wasn't unnecessary. It actually opened my eyes. It showed me more possibilities which can be attained if I keep moving forward. Everyday seems so hollow because I keep looking back and not it's different. I would like to say sorry myself. Well, unfortunately I'm not much of a speaker, so I won't be having a small speech like yours." He saw Hitomi grin and he smiled back. He stood up and sat down next to her. 'it would be nice if we can start over."

"Yeah, it would be." Hitomi extended her hand. "Hi, I'm Hitomi. What's you name?"

Van smiled. "It's Van. Nice to meet you." He shook her hand.

Hitomi smiled back. "Same here."

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Their conversation went on smoothly, enjoying each other's company. The sun was about to set and their surroundings were enveloped by an orange glow. The sky looked like an impressionist's work of art with the dabs of orange, pink, and blue hues blended harmoniously giving a striking effect. The reflection of the sky on the water was simply magnificent.

Hitomi was in deep awe. "Wow! It's so beautiful!" Enjoying the picturesque scenery, she leaned her head unto Van's shoulder. Hitomi, smiling, she thought, this is not so bad, I could so get used to this.

Van, however, didn't flinch or anything. He simply put an arm around Hitomi's shoulder and rested his head on top of hers. It felt so natural. There's no awkwardness, whatsoever. I think I'll be able to move on now. This is definitely a start.

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A/N: really sorry this took so long…. I actually finished this chapter in paper last week but since I was under the pressure of exams for the past two weeks I didn't have time to type it up. Well I hope this chapter was ok….

Thanks so much to the reviewers!

Thanks for reading if u did read it!

Take care all of you! Byers!

elena-maria