-1summary: Jesse copes with his injures after the Tran incident can on

(a/n This basically a 1 shot about Jesse and his current injuries wrote in study hall)

( Jesse pov )

I look out the window as it rains slowly. I close my eyes and wonder

"why am I alive."

I let out a tiring sigh. I feel alone and cold the team has done a lot for me since I have gotten out of the hospital. All an of sudden my chest jolts with pain I let out groan. Leon voice yells from up the stairs

"Jesse you okay bro ?" .

I hear his voice

"Yea yeah Leon I am fine."

I walk down the stairs limping a little everyone looks up at me they smile a little I think to myself

"why are they happy ? There not ones still hurt ".

I grab my keys and go to the jetta and start driving to the garage to think and get away from it all.

I go through the backdoor of the garage and set my keys down on my desk by the computer. There's a fridge in the garage full of corona so I go over there grab a few and sit against the wall.

I don't deserve to live they probably think I am a burden on there shoulders.

The empty bottle is sitting on the floor I pick it up feeling angry at myself I throw against a wall as the only sound is the glass shattering and then falling to the ground. I pull out a clove out of the cigarette carton

I light it up and the faint smell of vanilla fills the room I exhale the smoke and watch fade away into the darkness and then throw the cigarette on the ground and watch the orange embers fade away. I lazily get up from were I was sitting and walk over to my desk and get out a pocket knife I play with on boring days at the shop when there nothing going on. I then proceed back to my spot were a couple more empty bottles of corona stand and the old cigarette I discarded from awhile go. I snap open the knife I light up another cigarette and then look at the blade it was still sharp but becoming dull I traced it up and down my arm it started making a white line. I hear a sudden crackle of lighting and a car door slam at the same time as if in unison.

I finally take the blade and run past my wrist it starts to bleed steadily like rain hitting the pavement one drop one by one but picks up as more rain falls just like my blood and my hopeless fucking life.

"Jesse ?"

It was Leon's voice as it filled the empty garage he saw me sitting in the corner with a lit cigarette in my mouth. He walks over towards me

"Are you hurt ? I was worried man so was the team."

He then looks at the puddle of blood on the floor of the garage he starts a sentence but I yell back at him.

"Go away ! ".

He then turns he attention to the knife and looks at my direction I glare at him he knees down towards me.

"Jesse bro we need you around come on please Jesse"

I close my eyes getting annoyed really fast I scream at him.

"Go the fuck away leave me alone you guys don't need me around ."

I yell louder at Leon.

Leon pulls Jesse up from the ground.

(Leon's pov)

"I am not going to let us lose are little brother again !".

I scream this to Jesse and pick up the knife and throws in the a trash can.

"Jesse trust me we will help you I know this is difficult after what happen and all I know your still hurting your my best friend I don't want to lose ya ."

( Jesse's pov)

I look up at Leon and think about what he just said to me I get up weakly and look at him.

"Fine Leon ."

I pull my beanie over my hair and we both go back to the fort.