Chapter 3
T'Lorie who had been sulking in the corner jumped up and shouted: "Yeah! Lets go to Mindy's, even though I don't know what or where it is, lets go!"
"Yeah," Angel said, coming out of her pink t-shirt induced coma, "Lets go!"
"Mindy's? This sounds rather dubious…" asked Alocin
"And where the hell is that? The Agency does have better security but it also has Agent Brown I suppose... OK Mindy's, wherever that is, it shall be. Can we leave before the staff here get even more suspicious of us?"
After much trekking through dark alleyways, the group came to a small secluded building, with a flashing pink-neon sign reading:
'Mindy's Karaoke bar/night club/cyber-cafe and all-round funtime!'
"If you think I am setting foot in that place, you have to be kidding!" Jeff/Gemini gasped.
"I think I have to agree with Jeff there..." TL decided.
"Look, it's better than the Agency right? Anyway loads of Exiles and programs come here all the time." Star said. "Plus they have a great air-hockey table..."
"I'm in." Alocin said "But how do you even know about this place?"
Star looked shifty. "Um... Never mind that lets just get in right?
Alocin helped Star in pushing everyone through the doorway.
"I bags first go on the air hockey table! Who else wants a game? Do they sell tea here? What about digestives?"
Alo then spotted something.
"Oh...my...God! They have a ping-pong table! With real actual visible ping-pong bats and everything! Hehehehe!"
"Verse you to a game of ping-pong!" Angel yelled at Alocin, racing over to the table.
"And look, you don't even have to do the sounds yourself!" She demonstrated this by hitting a ball at Stars head; it made a lovely thunking noise.
Alocin quickly learned that while you don't have to do the sounds, visible ping-pong was still a lot harder than invisible ping-pong. The table and surrounding area was quickly cleared, for fear of being knocked out with a stray ball, which happened quite a lot.
Star was banging her head against the bar, somewhat scaring T'L. Star sighed. She tries being nice by taking the girls out to one of her local haunts and they spaz out with a scary looking game of evil ping-pong.
"Why Me!"
In a bid to avoid death by ping-pong ball, Star decided that now would be a good time to start interrogating the Exile.
"Right then Jeff/whatever what type of exile are you, and what is your real name?"
"Yeah it's answering questions time now," chimed in Alocin who had just popped over to the table to get a drink
"Or we stop all this 'nice Agentness'. And do you really need to stay looking like me? I keep trying to adjust my hair whenever I look at you, thinking you're a mirror." She grabbed her drink.
"Right Angel - the ball is not supposed to rebound off the walls. I get that now. Prepare to lose!"
After one look at the viciously crowded and noise room T'Lorie had come to the conclusion that no way in hell was she going to be separated from the others. She slid over to the table were Star was attempting to interrogate the exile, Angel was busy whacking a ping pong ball at a wall and back, and Alocin was yelling at her not to injure the balls feelings. The whole effect was rather scary.
T'Lorie required her laptop and various tech thingies and proceeded to hook 'Jeff' up to them, ignoring the look that Star was giving her.
"One here, and one there and another one there..."
"Um, T'Lorie, what are you doing?" interrupted Star
"I'm attempting to hook his bioelectrical and physicolectrical settings to my computer!" she said with a happy smile.
"Why?"
"So we know when this is taking effect" She held up a large and scary looking syringe filled with silvery liquid. Both Star and 'Jeff' jumped. "This won't hurt much... I think, it might actually hurt quite a lot! hehehe"
"Aahhhhhhhhhhhhh' yelled Gemini as she tried to get as far away from T'Lorie as possible, while Star struggled to get the needle out of her grasp.
"No, we don't use this on exiles, it doesn't work." said Star panting."You have been spending way to much time around Agent Jones"
"Oh, what about this one then?" T'Lorie produced a bigger needle full of code stuff. "It's supposed to make code disintegrate bit by bit."
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." yelled Gemini again.
"No!" Star ordered and wrestled it out of T'Lorie's grasp. "This is an informal interrogation, meaning she has to be alive when we are finished."
"Oh, then we won't be bugging her then?"
"No"
"Damn, I don't know what I'm going to do with this then." she held up the bug. "Its supposed to be a new version that..."
"Shut up T'Lorie, I'm trying to talk to Jeff."
Jeff/Gemini meanwhile was trying to disentangle himself from T'Lorie's wires so she could crawl away but she failed and now resembled a kitten, which had been playing in way to much wool.
Ignoring the mess, Star started once again to interrogate the exile while T'Lorie sat watching. All the time very audible shouting could be heard as Alocin tried to tell Angel that ping-pong balls weren't supposed to be classified as high velocity international ballistic missiles.
"But Alo" Angel wined "You were hitting people with the ball, I was feeling left out!"
"Yes but that was an accident" Alocin sighed, she didn't think she was going to win this fight.
"What, even when you stopped the game, carefully aimed at Star, then hit the ball as hard as you could?" Angel grinned
"Well maybe not that time, but I only did that once"
Angel raised an eyebrow
"OK, OK, 4 times, but that still doesn't mean you can hit innocent coppertops with the ball"
"How 'bout the bat?"
Alocin sighed "No, you can't hit them with the bat either" this was why invisible ping-pong was so much simpler
Angel started grinning again "Well if I can't hit them, and Star, Jeff and T'Lorie are busy... I'll have to hit you!" and with that she began chasing Alocin around and around Mindys, throwing ping-pong balls and bats
"Argh! This is unfair I tell you!" shouted Alocin running away, throwing invisible ping pong balls and bats back in Angel's direction.
"My missiles don't have any real effect but yours..." she got hit in the head with a bat "Oww - do! Stop that, I've changed my mind it's now fine to attack the coppertops instead of me!"
Angel stopped suddenly and steepled her fingers
"Excellent" she then turned to the remaining people in the bar, of which there was very few, and started to hit ping-pong balls in their direction. They left very quickly.
"Aww, alocin, the coppertops left!" Angel wined again "this is so not fair!"
Just then the manger walked over to them, looking extremely pissed off
A short while later
"I cant believe you two got us kicked out" Star grumbled
"Well its not just our fault all the customers left." Angel retorted, "You and T'Lorie were doing a pretty good job of freaking them out too!"
"Well whatever, but what are we supposed to do now?" Star pouted
"We could always go back to our old Agency, you know, the building that was confiscated from us because we keep redoing the paint job. We would be safe there from prying agents and I could set up a firewall." T'Lorie said after a thought.
They were standing outside; 'Jeff' was still tied up. Alo and Angel were still holding bats and balls. It started to rain.
"Great, " Angel commented "a decision would be helpful before we all melt."
"Technically we can't melt."
"Shut up T'Lorie" came several synchronised voices.
"I think going to the old Agency would probably be a good idea right about now," Star shook her head sadly. "If you lot got me banned from Mindys I will be most upset..."
"Hey you were just as bad!" Alocin protested "What with all your...umm... sitting there!"
Star raised an eyebrow. "Well I think that made my point... anyway lets get to the agency and start this interrogation before Smith thinks we've been abducted by rebels!"
Angel gave in; she really didn't like getting wet. "Fine, but we still have to protect Jeff from the other Agents, particularly Brown."
"I don't think Brown would come within 10 miles of a pink Agency for some reason Angey...Not quite his colour is it?"
"Oh, OUR agency, well that's a different story then isn't it! I just hope it hasn't run wild in our absence. I wonder if my lie detector is still there?"
T'Lorie shuddered "For all out sakes, lets hope its not!"
"Aww, but he was alright once you get to know him, just doesn't know how treacherous houseplants can be..."
Alocin's hair was beginning to dissolve. Well not literally, but all the gel was washing out. This caused her some distress.
"Guys my hair is getting all soggy - when it dries it's going to be fluffy! If it looks anything like Jeff's then I am not happy. Let's go already!"
"Oh God you're right!" Star yelled with horror, "I can't bump into Neo with fuzzy hair!"
The group rolled their eyes.
"Oh lets just go already!"
The closer the group got to the Agency, the more scared 'Jeff' started to look.
The fuchsia pink building practically gave off radiation, and people walking their dogs usually crossed over to the other side of the street went they came near to it.
Soon the group of programs were stood out side the front door, under the rather ambiguous sign; 'The Agency'. Angel, Star and T'Lorie each took out a different colour key from their suit-jackets. Purple, pink and blue respectively, and put them in a lock.
The door flew open, revealing a long hallway similar to that of the regular Agency, except that it seemed to have a green-tinged glow about it.
Now even Alocin looked scared.
"Ah yes, I forgot you've never actually been here have you Alo?" Star said, patting her on the back. Alo shook her head meekly
"Well never fear, it is the home of all random agents, you'll be fine here!"
Alocin looked more relived, but 'Jeff' now looked plain terrified.
The group walked down the corridor. Alocin could tell that they were nearing Star's office as there were suddenly "wanted" pictures of Neo covering both walls of the corridor, and the ceiling.
"I knew there was a reason I always chose to stay back at the regular Agency... I am feeling very claustrophobic here. How do you resist scribbling all over them?" she asked Angel.
"Oh we don't. We regularly draw on them but Star just keeps on requiring new ones. Lets use my office for the interrogation, it has less scary pictures up in it."
The Exile looked around at all the pictures all over the wall, hmmm well it seemed agent Star had a small thing on about that rebel Neo... Yep that was the understatement of the year, she thought looking at all the pictures.
She followed Agent Angel into her office and caught her reflection in the mirror, she looked like a drowned rat! ... Okay a drowned rat with purple and now only semi spiky hair but still… It wouldn't do!
Shape changing into one of her more regular forms, that of a young teenage girl with pure black hair... There were a few reasons she did it one it was the first that came to mind, two it showed exile code and three… well it looked better than any of the other four girls who all looked fairly soaked.
Running her tongue over her new fangs, she grinned ferally at agent Angel who was looking at her with... Awe? Shock? it was hard to read agents then again it wasn't just Angel, all the agents had a similar look on there face from watching her shape change into a vampiric appearance.
Alocin summed up what the others where thinking with one word "Cool..."
Alocin was indeed impressed. "Hey Jeff looks a bit more Exiley now, that's better. The fangs suit you."
"Yeah but we can do some tricks too." T'L pointed out. The four Agents then required themselves into dry suits and returned their hair back to non-sogginess. Some went a bit further however. "Alo you don't have fangs, stop copying Jeff."
"Ohhh..." Alocin got rid of the fangs and required some digestives instead.
"You're a vampire Exile!" Star gasped, her earlier distaste for the exile vanishing quickly.
"That's just so...just..." Star hopped up and down on the spot. Alocin suddenly looked very worried and clapped her hands over her ears
"EEEEEEEE!" Star Squee-ed, as the other Agents winced. "That is so wicked! Vampires totally rock Jeff! Do you have all cool powers and stuff?"
Alocin was afraid to remove her hands. "I think my ears might be bleeding..."
Suddenly Stars little squeeking fit was cut short as got a message through her earpiece from Agent Smith asking if she had spotted Neo.
Umm... no. she sent back
We heard you making some kind of 'squee' noise all the way over here at the Agency, and that usually coincides with a sighting of Mr Anderson
Ohh riiight, no I just spotted... A picture of him on a t-shirt. Yeah, this t-shirt a rebel had. I've shot the rebel now, it's all fine.
Star took her hand off her earpiece. "Well that was a close call...I think we had better get moving with this interrogation guys, Smithy sounded suspicious..."
Angel took out her torch and shone it on 'Jeff' "Well, well, well, wellity wellity wellity wellitiono weitiono..."
"Angel!" T'L shouted.
Angel stopped. "Sorry, well mr/mrs/miss/sir-exile-vampire-Jeff, care to tell us about yourself?"
"Ouchie..." Muttered the vampire exile, rubbing her ears. "You do realise vampire programs have super sensitive senses... that hurt!" She gave Star an evil look and half heartedly snarled, she'd suffered worse on other occasions like that time she went to that concert and stood near one of the big speakers... Not much worse she had to admit but still that was slightly worse
"And as for having cool powers... I thought the shape changing was fairly cool, it lets me modify my code healing instantly, hiding and letting me to walk in daylight as long as I'm in a different form." She explained and then rolled her eyes.
"Oh and my names Gemini... or at least in this form."
Then stopped and looked suspiciously at the other agents. "Why do you like vampire programs? My kindred don't have the best of reputations."
Star opened her mouth and shut it again rather quickly. "Well..umm I'm urrm..."
"You're what?" Alocin questioned.
"A massive Buffy fan! On and Angel, I liked interview with the vampire too, queen of the dammed was ok, and I love the Lost Boys! Vamps are just so cool! I mean Angel and Spike? Puurrrr... they could bite me any day!" Star grinned.
The Agents stared at her.
"What? OH! Don't tell Neo!"
Alocin shook her head at Star's crazy explanation and strange fear that Neo might be somehow deeply crushed if he found out his number one fan in the Agents liked some fictional vampires.
"Okay well moving on from Star's interesting psychological issues... I don't particularly have a thing for vampires; I just think having fangs would be useful. You could open cans with them, and do other neat stuff." She took another digestive.
Angel sighed.
"Just ignore the crazy people Jeff. Now do you have any evil plots you would like to tell us about? Come on you must be plotting something, all Exiles do. I'll get my lie detector!"
"Hello she's called Gemini now! And I think we should sell her to Mero! I bet he has loads of cools junk!" Star's eyes lit up
"Jeff...Gemini... they're similar!"
Star's snort told Angel that she obviously didn't agree with this.
"Oh whatever. Anyway we are not selling anyone to Mero - he's a git. And he's an Exile too remember, we are skating on thin enough ice not just terminating Jef..Gemini. Making deals with Mero is venturing into deletion-level territory."
"You wouldn't get far anyway, Mero would kill to get his hands on some new agent code which would mean you would not be leaving again." Grinned Gemini wryly.
"Mero's place is also cut off from the rest of the mainframe which means if you die there it would be very very permanent and none of your agent powers such as requiring or communicating would work."
The exile leaned against the wall "You can try if you want to but I'm sure you wouldn't live very long." she offered.
"Hmm. kill to get his hand on new agent code ehy?" Star smiled smoothly casting a glance at the other agents.
Angels eyes widened "No, nu-hu and don't you dare!"
Star sighed. "Fine, but lets at least do something interesting to exile Gem here then." She said nodding to Gemini/Jeff-dude
"Got your code knifes on you Angey?"
Alocin had discovered that Angel had Minesweeper on her computer, and was engrossed in a game. But at the mention of code knives she looked up.
"Code knives? Hey I didn't do anything! Ohh right, for J..Gem. Carry on then..." She returned to her game.
"Code knives..." Gemini frowns, "That's not very nice..."
Angel snatched her computer back off of Alocin and set it down away from her.
"Hey! I was winning!" Alocin complained.
"I don't mind if you guys play with your code knives. I personally would like to examine Gem's brain to see if there is some code in it that produces shape shifter powers."
"That sounds cool!" Star exclaimed.
"The process involves chopping the brain up into tiny pieces though, doesn't it?" T'L pointed out.
"Well yes that is a downside." Alocin agreed. "But I'm sure Gem won't mind making some sacrifices in aid of technological advancement." Angel got out her code knives.
"It sounds cool by me, well only if I can help, I've been watching those forensic shows and I know how to handle a scalpel." Alocin shouted jumping up and down an pulling an entire medical cutlery tray out of requirement.
"Okay lets get started," said Angel, sharpening her knives. Poof! The room suddenly resembled an operating theatre.
"Wait there is another way we can do it you know." interrupted T'Lorie with the voice of reason. "It's less revealing and there's a higher chance that Gem here will be alive when we are finished."
"But that will take the fun out of it." Alocin whined.
"How come everything you four do has a high fatality rate involved?" Gem questioned.
"Has something to do with our enthusiasm." said Star pointing to Angel and Alocin both wrapped in operating coats, holding big knifes.
"Right, well I'm happy with anything that leaves me alive in the end. What's your idea she-who-does-not-wish-to-cut-me-up?" Jeff responded.
"Well as the tech agent it is possible to look for techy sort of answers. If I can isolate the code signature within your code with the relevant properties I can analyse it and we can replicate its performance without having to deconstruct your code at all." T'Lorie explained efficiently.
"Wha?" said 4 equally confused programs.
"It means we can find the bit which lets her do those thing without cutting her open." T'Lorie explained again.
"Oh." Said Star and Gem
"But that's still no fun." Said Angel
"Its fun for me," T'Lorie said with an evil smile.
"T'Lorie, I never knew you had such a scary side, all that stalking Jones must have had a bad effect on you..."
"Now I don't get to play with big knives." Alocin complained.
"I see that as a good thing." Gemini pointed out. Alocin stuck her tongue out at her.
"Well I need an interphasic code doohicky, a tachyon plasma thingamabob and some duct tape." T'L said, tapping away at her laptop. "Oh and a cheese sandwich."
"Why are you all so interested in my code anyway!" Gemini asked panicked "It's my code and it stays in me!"
Gemini was now thinking it would be a good time to make an exit from the agents; all she need was a distraction. It was at this precise moment that Morpheus who had been hunting the agents down, burst into the room looking demonic and actually pretty scary looking... Maybe he'd been at his pills again?
Morpheus swiped his long katana and disembowelled both agents Alocin and T'Lorie with startling efficiency before firing a volley of bullets from his gun at Angel and Gemini.
Gemini who being an exile had very quickly learned the concept of ducking, however agent Angel resembled a goldfish as she gaped at the rather demonic looking Morpheus who had just slaughtered her friends. She fell to the floor a few seconds later with half a dozen extra holes in her. Morpheus advanced on Star menacingly while she also stood in shock.
Gemini looked around at the dead bodies on the floor and then at the open door Morphy had just burst through… A chance to escape these blasted agents!
'Oh God Morpheus I love you!' Gem thought thankfully and then paused. "Ewww... I did not just think that."
She got up and ran out the door into the corridor and slammed her backdoor key into the first door she came across. 'Let the agents handle that rebel' she thought as she closed the door and was then gone