'If I don't stop eating I'm going to get fat and then I really won't be able to find Mr. Right cuz I won't be able to get my fat ass off this sofa!' Miroku trounced himself while he was stuffing his face with cheesey puffs. Just then he heard knocking on his trailer door. "Sango probably made Bankotsu come check on me while she's out of town...", he thought out loud, "how did she get such a hunk when SHE doesn't even get her nails done, and I get NO one?"
KNOCK KNOCK!
"I'm coming!", he shouted as he slowly rolled off the sofa onto the floor. (KERPLOP!) By the time he got to the door and opened it he was shocked. "Jakotsu!", he exclaimed as he pulled his robe tight around his chest. 'Oh my lucky stars he's here!...and I look like shit!' he thought. Jakotsu turned around, "I thought maybe you were out", he told Miroku. "No, no...I'm alone...come in and I'll go freshen up a bit." Miroku was overwelmed, this was like a dream come true. But the dream didn't last long when Jakotsu replied, "No I don't think so man". Jakotsu has a rather deep, manly voice off the set anyway, but for some reason it sounded even deeper this time. Miroku just stood with a blank expression on his face. He didn't know what to say. "Look, I just wanted to say 'I'm sorry' for the way I reacted the other day. But dude listen...just because I play a transvestite on the show does not mean that I'm gay on my own personal time. I've told you this three times now...I expect that it will not happen again", Jakotsu said rather coldly.
It was hard for Miroku to hold back his tears, but he did! "It won't happen again. Let's not let there be any hard feelings between us, ok?" he asked Jakotsu. He agreed with a nod and went on his way. As soon as the door shut Miroku's true feeling came pouring out like a faucet.
"Ok Bankotsu! I did it! Now where is my 50 bucks?" Jakotsu asked as he stuck out his hand to Bankotsu, who had been waiting a few feet from Miroku's place. "You told him you were sorry?" he asked his buddy. "Yes!" Jakotsu replied, "now give me my money so I can go pick up my date." Bankotsu gave him the fifty dollars he promised. 'The things I do for that woman', he thought about Sango making him promise her that he would keep an eye on her best friend, who happens to be gay. Feeling a little lonely himself, Bankotsu headed back to his and Sango's place to wait for his loving wife to call home. As he walked along he saw Sesshomaru and Vegeta on their way to pick up Kikyou and Kagome, so he decided to give them a little advice, haven temporarily forgoten his plans for revenge. "Hey what's going down" he asked. "Just on our way to get the girls", Sesshoumaru told him cautiously, fearing that Bankotsu was going to strike out with some sort of payback. "Want some advice from an old married man?", Bankotsu teased the two bachelors. "Well, Sesshoumaru might, but I myself used to be an old married man...", Vegeta reminded them that he was recently divorced from Rei, 'Sailor Mars' from the hit TV show 'Sailor Moon'. "Oh yeah that's right", Bankotsu laughed as he remember seeing all the headlines in the supermarket tabloids, "then you already know to take em someplace cheap so that they don't expect to be taken out somewhere fancy all the time once you're married". "Man you're lucky Sango isn't here or you would have one of those well known slap marks on your cheek", Sesshoumaru warned. The three of them stood there shooting the shit for awhile longer before Kikyou and Kagome came looking for them. "Well you guys have fun...I'm going home to wait for my wifey to call me" Bankotsu told them.
A good while later as the four of them were eating dinner, Sesshoumaru brought up the love scene to Vegeta. Again, Kikyou almost choked on her Diet Dr. Pepper. "Well, Sesshoumaru", Vegeta chuckled, "what about all the fans out there that want you paired with Kagome? I think we would have a lot of outraged fans if we did something like that." Sesshoumaru smiled as he thought for a moment. "Ok then, I'll do a love scene with Kagome", he said mischieveouly while rubbing his hands together. Now it was Kagome's turn to choke on her soda. At the same time Kikyou gave her boyfriend a swift kick in the shin. "Ouch!... what the..", Sesshoumaru was cut off by Kikyou, "oh sorry sweetness, my bad", she said with an evilish Kikyou style grin. "Hey look over there", Kagome, changing the subject pointed to Inuyasha and Kagura. "Should we ask them to join us?", Vegeta asked the gang. "Don't even bother, Kagura won't let Inuyasha do anything with anyone but her.", Sesshoumru told them. Vegeta had been observing just how bitchy Kagura really was lately on the set. She demanded to be on the set anytime that Kagome was going to be up close with Inuyasha. "Yeah, since I've taken over as director I've gotten to know the real Kagura", Vegeta told them with a 'I don't like her either' tone.
"So, do you mind if I ask how you went from being an actor on DragonBall Z to being the director of InuYasha?" Kikyou asked to change the subject off of Kagura. Kikyou hated Kagura even more than the others because of the 'fling' Sesshoumaru had with her before they hooked up. "No not at all, Kikyou", Vegeta responded, "gee where to begain...after DBZ ended I had well more than enough money to retire on, but I also had a bitch of a wife at home, so that was out of the question...so first I tried being a model. But I quickly discovered that years of wearing spandex on DBZ was enough for me." Vegeta took a short break to down a brewski in which gave Sesshoumaru the time to add his two sense, "Yeah, I hear you...I feel the same way about all this make-up and fur I have to wear". This was the perfect time for Vegeta to ask why Sesshoumaru and the girls were dressed in their costumes for the show, but just decided to let that subject go for now. "Yeah, well, anyway, so after the modeling I was cast as the lead in Rurouni Vegeta, (now known as Rurouni Kenshin), but that didn't work for me because for one, I didn't like NOT killing, and two I didn't like the pink gi that they wanted me to wear. So I quit and after awhile I saw the job opening here and thought 'what the hell' so...yeah here I am."
As the four continued their conversations over dinner Kagome was getting to know Vegeta...and she wasn't really sure if he was what she was looking for. Just as they were finishing up their meal two familiar faces walked up to the table. "Gramps! Granny!", Kagome shouted as she jumped up to give her grandfather, on the show AND in real life, and grandmother, Kaede, hugs and kisses. "How are ye and yer date Kagome", Kaege asked her grandchild. Kaede could tell by the look in Kagome's eyes that something was wrong so she asked her to go to the lady's room with her to help put in her glass eye... gramps never gets it straight. "Sure Granny...I was wondering why you were wearing that patch out in public...lets go", Kagome was relieved to get away from Vegeta for a moment. "I'll go, too!", Kikyou uttered as she grabbed her bow and quiver and ran off with the other two women to the restroom.
"What's going on Kagome", Kikyou asked. Kagome bit down on her lower lip, trying hard not to cry. 'I shouldn't of said yes...I knew he just got divorce...I'm so stupid!' she thought. "I don't think he likes me, all he talks about is 'Sailor Mars"", she cried as she flug her arms around Kaede. "Now now, ye just have to give it time child", Kaede tried to comfort her granddaughter, "now pull yourself together and put my eye in." Kaede pulled her glass eye from her brazire. As Kikyou and Kaede convinced Kagome that she just needed to give it chance, Sesshoumaru was trying to help Kagome out, too. "I don't know what the girls are talking about, but it might have to do with you ONLY talking about your ex-wife, not that I didn't like seeing those pictures of her in her thong bikini, but...well you know...I'm sure that Kagome didn't like it one little bit." Vegeta started to beat himself up on the inside...'I knew that was too much' he thought. "I better go find Kagome and tell her I'm sorry", he told Sesshoumaru as he stood up. But before he could go Gramps asked to see the picture of his ex in a thong. Sesshoumaru was so suprised that he fell over backwards in his chair bringing the group unwanted attention. Just as the girls were returning from the bathroom two young fans of "InuYasha", appearing to be about 12 and 13, ran up to get some autographs. As the group started signing, the older of the two, 'Ashley', asked Kikyou, "What in the name of Naraku are you doing here with that little witch of a priestess-wanna-be, Kagome?"
"Ut oh, Vegeta, prepare yourself...", Sesshoumaru said as he took cover under a near by table. Vegeta just stood there wondering what was going on. It didn't take him long to figure out why Sesshoumaru had taken cover, it was when the younger of the two fans, 'Brittany', started deffending Kagome with her life that Vegeta headed over to the table next to Sesshoumaru. "I take it this sort of thing happens a lot?" Vegeta asked Gramps as he climbed under the table with him. "Yes sonny...more times than Kaede's glass eye has popped out into her cream of wheat...and that's saying a lot right there", Gramps informed Vegeta. "Why, I do believe the last time I was out with those two whipper snappers they ended up in the slammer."
Vegeta was flabbergasted! "Jail?" he asked Gramps.
"Yeah...they beat up one of those 'haters'...I can't remember which one...a Kikyou or Kagome, they're all plum stupid if you ask me...anyway, yeah...they beat up a hater and we had to cough up 150 dollars each to get 'em out...I tried to tell the police that Kagome had Polio...but they didn't buy it...apparently they are fans of the show too..." as Gramps ramble from under the table the on going scene with Kikyou and Kagome was turning violent. Just as Ashley pounced at Kagome Brittany threw a spork hitting the opposing hater in the eye. "NO! Not my eye...I don't want to look like Kaede!" Ashley shouted as she clutched her eye. Kagome was outraged...as she rolled up her sleeves she warned Ashley "You've just made your biggest mistake you little powerpuff girl wanna be...nobody talks about my Granny that way and lives to tell the tale".
"Let's get 'em Kagome", Kikyou shouted with her sleeves already rolled.